Back In The Saddle

Our long national nightmare is over, as Unplayable Lies resumes its flood-the zone coverage...

Dinah Doings - The scheduling logic is obvious, as golfers awake from their winter hibernation, slot the ladies' first major in before that minor event in Georgia.... Fittingly, the two events share many characteristics, the only majors played at the same venue, spots allocated to past champions and ams, curious rituals including pimento and white robes..... Now, about that name?

As for the golf:

In 12 previous LPGA starts in 2016, Ai Miyazato and Azahara Munoz had combined for

just one top-30 finish. But that didn't seem to matter on Thursday. 

The pair matched scores of 5-under 67 at Mission Hills' Dinah Shore Tournament Course, moving into an early share of the lead at the ANA Inspiration. Miyazato went bogey-free and Munoz posted a flawless scorecard until a surprising bogey at the par-5 18th. 

“It's always exciting to be here,” Miyazato said. “I know a lot of history and background. Well, obviously I haven't really played well on this golf course, but finally my game is coming all together."

Early days.... Miyazato is such a short hitter that I can't imagine her staying atop the leaderbaord on this golf course for too long.   

In a moment all too telling for this struggling tour, the major story coming out the event thus far concerns a person for whom a vagina was not original equipment:

Caitlyn Jenner made her first appearance at a tournament pro-am post-transition this week at the ANA Inspiration. The famously competitive golfer didn’t disappoint, holing out for eagle on the first hole. American soccer star Abby Wambach, part of Jenner's group, cheered her on. 

For the most part, both fans and players at the LPGA’s first major were enthusiastic supporters of the Olympian’s presence at the event, according to Golfweek. And Jenner could count on at least one familiar face at the tournament: Danielle Kang, who has known her for six years. Kang and Jenner met at the Sherwood Country Club.

Shack and I reacted the same way, but he beat me to the keyboard by 48 hours:

The one big negative of Caitlyn Jenner playing the ANA Inspiration (aka Dinah Shore) Pro-Am Wednesday?

A reminder that the LPGA Tour's first major that kicks off Thursday, and arguably its most historic and important event of the year, has a pro-am.

Bad optics, but girls gotta do what girls gotta do...  Now the eagle was legit, but shouldn't this have disqualified them from the team comp?

"She told me she putts better now because her boobs anchor her," Kang said.

"Yes, I do," Jenner agreed.

Strangely enough, when the original Rules of Golf were drafted in Edindurgh in 1744, anchoring the putter with hormone-induced breasts was not considered.  

It just seems like such an unforced error to allow Jenner to suck the oxygen out of the room, especially considering the Lesbians Gone Wild history of this event.  Think I'm overreacting?

Jenner received more interview requests this week at the LPGA's first major tournament of the year than any player, including No. 1 Lydia Ko.

In other news, we saw these comparisons when she originally went table-top:

RANCHO MIRAGE, Calif. — Who doesn’t want to be like Jack? Michelle Wie, ever the tinkerer, thought she’d try to take a page out of the Jack Nicklaus playbook and narrow her putting stance at the ANA Inspiration. 

“I kind of always saw how Jack putted and it kind of worked out OK for him,” said Wie, who maintained her unique table-top posture. 

“Putting is all about feel, and obviously just kind of tried that out, felt comfortable, and hopefully maybe stick with it.”

Comfortable is the furthest thing from my mind when I see her putt.... she looks terrified of making a mistake.  But more to the point, I don't think they look all that similar.  Look at the bend in the knees and angle of the thighs, as well as the ball position.  

When last we heard from Stacey Lewis, she was whining about the pay and claiming the girls are every bit as good as the boys.  This doesn't actually help things:

RANCHO MIRAGE, Calif. — What is wrong with Stacy Lewis? It’s a common question 

these days regarding the former World No. 1, who hasn’t won since June 29, 2014. 

On the eve of the ANA Inspiration, Lewis tried to answer that question, making herself vulnerable before a curious press. She then walked off the dais and broke down in tears, telling her team that it was one of the hardest things she’s ever done. Therapeutic too, probably. 

First, understand this about Lewis: Her life has undergone a serious transformation in the past 16 months. She went from a player focused almost entirely on golf, to a player sharing every part of her world for the first time with someone other than her family. Lewis is a person who likes her space. She likes her quiet. 

But she loves a man named Gerrod Chadwell, and, come Aug. 6, will vow to spend the rest of her life with him.

If I undestand correctly, her golf has suffered because she's happy?   Stacey is a younf lady that we all instinctively like because of her childhood battle to overcome scoliosis....But while success on the course will ebb and flow, she needs to recapture that stoicism and stop whining.

Masters Stuff - It's T-minus six daysfor the big one, so let's see what folks are discussing...First, Mike Bamberger with an interesting profile of Billy Payne:

As they say on the 1st tee at the Masters, Fore please. Billy Payne now driving.

Augusta National Golf Club has never had a chairman like William Porter Payne, not even Clifford Roberts, a sui generis personality and Wall Street banker who founded the club in 1933 with Bobby Jones, the great amateur. Payne, a 68-year-old businessman and attorney from Atlanta who was the key figure in bringing the Olympics to the city in 1996, often cites the club's two patron saints as his ultimate inspiration. But their vision was distinctly inward. That is: the club, the club, the club. It is unlikely that either could have imagined what Chairman Payne—he likes when people use the title—has done in his near decade at Augusta's helm. No other chairman has thought to focus on the borders of the course, and the great, green world beyond them.

It's a good reminder of the significant accomplishments of his tenure.  Now about that lengthening of the thirteenth....

Jake Nichols channels his inner Mark Broadie to handicap the field, but see if you find this conclusion illuminating:

Who will win the green jacket when it’s all said and done? A golfer who combines distance off the tee, audacious ball-striking and strong putting on bentgrass greens.

Well, I'm certainly glad we cleared that up.... I'm going to shimmy way out on a limb and predict that the guy that takes the fewest strokes will win.  Hey, it's only slightly less predictive than his conclusion....

Alan Shipnuck takes us through twenty intriguing plotlines for this Masters....though, Spoiler Alert, since No. 20 was Vaughn Taylor he lost me at hello.

And today's blasphemy comes from Rory, who dares to state the obvious:

“It’s a bit of a distraction and the year I had my best chance at Augusta, 2011, I didn’t play the par-three contest,” McIlroy said. “So maybe the decision not to play it this year can work in my favour.”

Ummm...how did that good chance in 2011 turn out?  Actually, given the arc of Rory & Caroline and Tiger & Vonn, we should be looking for excessive canoodling between player and caddie to predict forthcoming splits.

With Masters on the horizon, the apparel manufacturers are out with their "scripting".  If you're a fashionista, you can see the outfits of your faves here.  But the highlight of this dubious enterprise comes, as usual, from the man known as Lumpy:

And really, who could wear these better than the Lumpster.

Prior installments can be seen here.

I've got lots more, but I need to get back to the real world for now...