On Handicaps

I've wanted to deal with this issue for some time, and when if not now?  But as always I need an appropriate foil (or fool if you prefer), and today it's new-to-me Golf Digest writer Bob Carney.  He posted on his five wishes from Santa at The Loop recently, and the first four are reasonably innocuous though perhaps a tad internally inconsistent (See Nos. 1 and 2 especially).  But here's No. 5 in its entirety:

5. A new handicap system. Most people don’t use it anyway, but for those who do, the

USGA handicap system is a second tax code. Clever people work it. Other people get worked by it. And it’s a great excuse to get bogged down in numbers when we should be playing a game. To quote Mr. Hogan, the only shot that counts is the next one. With a new system play would move faster because only certain rounds -- tournament or monthly “medal” days—would be recorded, and no one could record more than a double bogey. Differentials would be built on Stableford scores, so there would be fewer conversations beginning, “I’m not sure if that was a 9 or a 10. Let me see….” Handicap rules like this seem to work in places like Ireland.

I believe there is an underlying issue of interest here, one that we'll dive into in a minute.  But it's difficult to find that issue, namely his advocacy of the UK and Ireland handicapping system, within his nonsense-on-stilts.  Let's briefly dispense with said nonsense, a micro-Fisking if you will:

• Most people don't use it - This might well be true, though only in a sense that it's completely irrelevant.  Sure, lots of people play golf either unburdened by a scorecard or only to calculate their own score.  I've no idea if this constitutes a majority of players and/or rounds, and couldn't care less.  A handicap system is necessary, however, for those desiring to play matches, and I'll wager my 100% equity interest in Unplayable Lies, Inc. that a majority of this subset use the handicap system.
• It's a second tax code - I'm gonna guess Mr. Carney was a LibArts major, or at the very least doesn't prepare his own tax return.  I remain convinced that Equitable Stroke Control ("ESC") is needlessly complicated and illogical (let's see, a fourteen-handicap can take a max of seven on a Par-3 as well as a Par-5, wassup with that?), but except for that we enter our scores in a computer and every two weeks get an e-mail with our index.  It's not quite up there with accelerated depreciation tables or alternative minimum tax calculations now, is it?
• Clever people work it - Is Mr. Carney under the impression that there are no sandbaggers in the UK?  My word, he must be an easily disillusioned fellow... but if you build a nadicap system they will come, and in so doing you will deal with SB's as well as vanity handicaps, so the only relevant question is whther one is easier to game vs. the other.
• I'm not sure if that was a nine... - Yes, a Stableford eliminates any score over a net bogey.  But guess what, as a single-digit handicap I can't post a score with more than a gross double bogey on any hole...kinda similar, no?

So, is the UK and Ireland system better?  That's very arguable as we'll get into, though it's quite different in the following ways:

• Fewer Scores - Posting is only done a limited number of rounds, tourneys or monthly medals as noted in the excerpt; 
• Stableford - Scores are posted as Stableford point totals and those are used to calculate handicaps;
• No Slopes - The biggest problem in comparing U.S. and U.K. handicaps is that the Council of National Golf Unions ("CONGU"), to whom the R & A delegated responsibility, has refused to establish slope ratings for its golf courses.  

Now when the subject of handicaps comes up I go to the most obvious source, my Pope if you will.  I refer of course to Dean Knuth, former Senior Director of United States Golf Association Handicap Department, the developer of the USGA's Course Rating and Slope Rating System, who is known to all in the biz as the Pope of Slope.  And Dean's writings on the subject can be found at the appropriately url'd popeofslope.com.

I'm going to let everyone off easily and not dive too far into the long grass, but I did need to include this excerpt from Dean:

The R&A turned over control of handicapping in 1927 to CONGU (Council of National Golf Unions). They have not adopted the Slope System simply because the English GU refused to adopt it--Even after Ireland, Wales and Scotland had Slope rated most of their courses and wanted to go forward. Continental Europe got so frustrated with CONGU that they formed their own handicapping body (European Golf Association) and adopted Slope. The Ladies Golf Union now follows CONGU, but have Course and Slope Rated their courses according to the USGA System.

To be clear, the system that our Mr. Carney advocates was in fact repudiated by many of its constituencies, who have gone their own way.

As to which system is better, I'll refer you to Dean's long page on comparing the two systems, which includes a laundry list of deficiencies that you can absorb at your leisure.  Dean is no doubt invested in the U.S. system, much of which he created.  But his explanations and criticisms are all well argued and documented, and in the case of ESC, he doesn't hesitate to consider Stableford more effective.  But do read it for yourself and come to your own conclusions.

One last point about Mr. Carney's thought process that I find amusing (acknowledging that I'm undoubtedly investing far too much importance in a silly Christmas list).  He notes that pace of play would improve (but do note that I've ignored the unsubstantiated contention that posting scores negatively affects pace of play) because only scores from the Monthly Medal would be posted.  Does your club have a Monthly Medal (that question is not for you, Elsie)?  See where I'm headed?

Most of us play at clubs where the average member thinks there are already too many damn tournaments clogging up the golf course...  It's no doubt interesting how the game has developed in different countries, and I've long believed that the Stableford is a worthy format for certain events (our club has adopted it for qualifying for certain events), but one has to make the case for the superiority of the U.K. system, which Carney doesn't trouble himself about.  And I've got the Pope of Slope in my corner, so those arguments have to, you know, make sense...

Loose Threads

I received a nice e-mail today from one of my good golf friends, who in order to maintain his anonymity I'll call Mark Williams.  Mark is also a loyal reader of the blog and it's fair to say that this blog likely wouldn't exist if not for Mark, as he's always been very supportive of my writing efforts.

In addition to the usual catching up and greetings of the season, Mark also held out the possibility of a bucket-list golf outing in 2015 (Shhh, just between us kids its initials are PV), so you're all my witnesses that he said it out loud.  But Mark also got a bit snippy about the lack of content the last week or two, the Gobi Desert of the golf calendar...  Proving yet again that I write without fear or favor, we can all agree that Unplayable Lies readers, if nothing else, have received their money's worth.  So Mark, or whatever your name really is, you'd be better served to leave the snark to your humble blogger...

A New Record - At the age of 103, Gus Andreone is the oldest member of the PGA of America, and apparently still plays well enough that he now has another claim to fame:

The news of PGA Professional Gus Andreone's hole-in-one was obviously a big deal.

Not sure which I like more, the white socks or the pimped out golf cart.

The 103-year-old man recorded the eighth ace of his career on the 113-yard, 14th hole of the Lakes Course at Palm Aire in Sarasota, Fla. But as the news traveled the social waves, it also became clear that this was in all likelihood a record event, that Andreone is the oldest person to record a hole-in-one. 

There's no sure way to know, but we can say that nobody older has ever notified a golf institution with

This was Gus' eighth ace which borders on the greedy, though his first one was in 1939.  Gus considers 90 to be his par these days, but how about this:

With that being the case, we can tell you Andreone shot a nifty 7-under 83 (in relation to his par) on Wednesday in the round that included his latest ace.

Wow. 

We'll leave you with this beauty from Andreone: "As long as I can swing a club, I'll be playing golf."

True that last bit.  But the man shot more than a stroke per hole under his age, I'm guessing that might be some kind of record as well...

Golf in the Middle Kingdom - Mix the elitist game of golf with the last major Communist regime and the results have to be enigmatic, no?  So it's no surprise that the subject of golf in China tends to fascinate and frustrate, leaving the reader as perplexed as ever.  Shackelford pulls a few strings together in this post, kicking off with this recent WSJ story (behind a paywall):

Just a few months ago, members of a newly opened Jack Nicklaus signature course in the

Beijing suburbs woke up to discover the venue had been ordered shut amid a government audit of all of the city’s clubs. It was allowed to reopen after a few weeks, but only for members, not their guests. A nearby club didn’t get off so lightly: it had to plow up its immaculate greens and close permanently. 

This isn’t a passing shower. Golf, as it’s now played in China, doesn’t have a promising future.

Well, when construction of new golf courses is illegal, it can be difficult to grow the game.  Shack also links to Dan Washburn, author of this highly regarded book on golf in China, and adds this excerpt:

But during my recent two weeks in China, I encountered more pessimism and uncertainty from those in the industry than ever before. Everyone quoted the rumor that up to 100 courses would soon be shut down, a process that perhaps got kickstarted with the closure of a handful of courses this summer. Beijing then, as it had a handful of times over the previous decade, reiterated its oft referenced but rarely enforced ban on golf course construction. It did so again just this week. Things do appear to be ratcheting up. 

What to make of it? Who knows. Maybe this is truly the end of the boom. Maybe it’s just another bump in the road. Either way, it seems a good time to share with you a recent email I received from a China golf course industry veteran.

It seems to me that people greatly misunderstand China, which remains an extremely poor country (author Mark Steyn quips that China will get old before it gets rich, highlighting its serious demographic issues).  It may provide a venue for certain high-end facilities, but it will never be truly of our game.

This Week in Golf Rap Videos - Somehow this didn't make Alex Myer's list of viral videos:

OK, but I wanna see him make those 12-foota's when he's my age... Trust me, there's nothing more pitiful than a gangsta rapper with the yips.

That Ted Bishop? - The deposed PGA Prez isn't always my cup of tea, and my criticisms of his microphone hogging somewhat foreshadowed his demise-by-Twitter.  But fair is fair, and this post at his new blog on Andy Sanders, Jimmy Walker's caddie, is really worth a read:

Those predictions did come true, but not in a way that Dottie imagined. Unfortunately

she never lived to see Andy enjoy success in golf at the highest level. Sanders was one of the country’s best junior golfers and he attended the University of Houston on a golf scholarship. After college he played on the Nationwide Tour from 2002-04 aspiring to continue his playing career. 

Then one day Sanders woke up and experienced a blind spot in his right eye. Initially he thought it was a problem attributed to his contact lenses. Sanders would soon discover that he had Multiple Sclerosis. He tried to fight through the condition and keep on playing. He was receiving muscle injections every other week and eventually he contracted vertigo which was the worst thing that could happen to a golfer.

 “My playing career ended because of the medicine, not the MS. Those shots depressed me night and day. They gave me vertigo and losing my balance was the end of my playing career,” recalls Sanders. “There is no way you can’t look back and have some second thoughts. I made my choices at the time and now I am incredibly fortunate with my family and hopefully I have a great career ahead of me.”

A nice story of perseverance well done.  Hey, maybe I'll like Ted more as a ink-stained wretch than as a big muckety-muck.  Stranger things have happened...

First World Problems - Storm clouds gather on the horizon, a sinister drum beat reaches deafening proportions as all that we hold dear is suddenly at risk... Why the concern?

Here's a new tradition unlike any other - the race to see if the Masters can keep its field under 100 players by April. 

For the fourth time in the last five years, at least 90 players already have qualified for the Masters at the end of the year with three months of opportunities remaining before the field is set. Each time, Augusta National managed to achieve its objective of keeping the number of competitors in double digits. 

By far the smallest field of the four majors, the Masters has not had more than 100 players since 1966.

Now there's really no issue getting 100 players around a golf course on Thursday and Friday, it's just the ANGC Poobah's doing things their own way.  But remember that the numbers we're discussing are the total field, which includes past champions and fuzzy-cheeked amateurs (No, Fuzzy is a past champion) with no chance to win, so the actual competitive field is in the 70's at best.

Is that suitable for a major championship?  Discuss among yourselves...

I've got more...well, more of everything but time.  Can we meet tomorrow?  Good, I'll see you then.

'Tis the Season

Fish gotta swim and birds gotta fly, and those that write about golf gotta file their reflective,year-end summary pieces.  So, shall we review the reviews?

From the Golf.com stable we'll kick off with this roundtable of winners, losers and personal reflections.  We'll excerpt Alan Bastable in the latter category:

Bastable: Me pulling a Zhang Xinjun. Yes, shamefully I, too, signed an incorrect scorecard, at an office tournament at North Shore Country Club in Glen Head, N.Y. The gaffe cost my partner (who carried us most of the day) and I a runner-up finish and led to merciless razzing over lunch. “Hey, De Vincenzo, could you pass the salt?”

Alan, I'm cool with the self-loathing thing, as I'd no doubt react similarly.  But in no way is this a Zhang, for you seem to have done it only the once.  A very important distinction, no?

 The best stuff by far is in the last category, along the lines of things you saw that others should know of, and includes this wonderful gesture from a certain Ulsterman:

A father was nearby with his disabled son, who was wheelchair-bound with limited

Well done, lad.

motor skills, but clearly an avid golf fan. Graeme McDowell sent his caddie over with a pass into a nearby tent that was air-conditioned. Later he wandered over and talked to the pair for a while. Then, with no cameras or commotion, he wheeled the kid to the edge of the putting green, placed his putter in the kid’s hand, and helped him stroke a few putts. It was a nice show of class.

There's also a wonderful anecdote about Phil that's not to be missed.

Batting second is Mike Bamberger, with a highly personal list of highs and lows for the year, the

latter amusingly limited to those involving the PGA of America.  Yeah, they did kinda suck all the oxygen out of the room in the back half of the year, but Mike doesn't even include the nocturnal completion of their signature championship on his list.  But I do like that he separated Bishopsgate into its two equally inane constituent parts.

Mike's list of high points is good as well, including everything from Lucy Li to Oliver Wilson.  But Mo Martin's eagle at Birkdale as Numero Uno?  I know it's a personal list and you wrote the book on links golf, but still....  

Our old friend John Garrity, he of Askernish and Carne fame, is next up, awarding the coveted MPOY award to Ben Crane.  I know, but stick with me on this....  The gist of it was that Ben Crane flew from Portland to Manchester in the hopes of getting into the Open Championship.  He arrive five hours before play started, but ultimately no one dropped out to open a spot for him.

Here's how he reacted:

For three holes, Ben and Joel (Ben's caddie) sipped their bottles of Davenports and shared the clubs in 

Ben Crane, Mike Bamberger and John Garrity in ascending height order.

Ben's bag. On the cloud-scraping 4th tee, Ben spread his arms to take in the sandy shore and the shimmering sea. “Does it get any better than this?” he asked. “I mean, are you telling me there's something better than this?” Hearing no objections, he accepted Wallasey as more-than-adequate compensation for the trying journey. “I'd love to have gotten in,” he said of the Open, “but I wasn't going home without playing some links golf.” 

One of Crane's playing partners, who writes for Sports Illustrated under the name Michael Bamberger, was visibly moved. “You will be paid back for all this, karmically,” he told the pro. The other Yank, after taking some photographs, scribbled in his reporter's notebook. The notes would come in handy, he explained, when awards season rolled around.

I love that reaction as much as John does, and I remember that 4th tee box as well.  But John elides the elephant in the corner.... out for a wonderful stroll in the sun, does Ben still play at the speed of time-lapse photography?  Inquiring minds want to know...

Golf.com also provides a list of The Weirdest Moments in Golf, but be forewarned that the Bubbaclause puts in an appearance.  

The Golfweek staff provides similar retrospectives on the PGA Tour, the LPGA Tour and a nice personal reflection on some of the more interesting (though not most successful players) by Adam Schupak.  

Brad Klein hands out his 2014 architecture awards, no easy task in this era when we no longer, you know, build golf courses.  Tom Doak's Dismal River takes home the big one, though I was most interested in this category:

Best Renovation/Restoration: A three-way tie here. Keith Foster’s restoration of the Philadelphia Cricket Club-Wissahickon Course brought out original designer A.W. Tillinghast’s genius for compelling landforms in a way that finally enabled this singular property to excel after decades under wraps.

I can't wait to see it when it hosts the PGA Professional National Championship next year.  Perhaps if Kunta Kente qualifies I'll loop for him.

We'll go out on a whimsical note, as Alex Myers helpfully compiles his top twenty-five viral golf videos of the year.  They're all here, from the 4-foot putt at Elie to the bear playing with the flagstick...  If you have nothing to do between now and New Years, pour yourself an adult beverage and sit back and enjoy.  Oh, and no worries, the Bubbaclaus didn't make the cut.

Ski Blogging

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled programming to bring you an update from the slopes of Utah.  I'm pleased to report that Mother Nature has awoken from her slumbers, realized that she had forgotten the ski season thing, and is making amend.

Our season started for real on Christmas Eve when Canyons opened the Ninety-Nine Ninety and Peak 5 lifts. the highest terrain on the mountain.  FNBF* Bob, Mitch, a friend of Mitch and I bombed lines off Ninety-nine Ninety for as long as the legs permitted, through deep soft snow.  

Bob, as usual, waiting for your truly.

Mitch eyes his line through the pines.

A glorious day after our early-season struggles.  Though not one without incident, as the photo below indicates:

I hate when that happens:  Mitch shows off the core shot to his skis from an ill-considered line through the rocks.

Don't fret too much for Mitch, as any gouge on the center of the ski is readily repairable.  It's the ones on the edges that cause long-term problems...

For Christmas Day they promised and delivered a powder day, the first time Christmas has been an actual religious experience for your humble correspondent.  Canyons reported a total of 10" for the day, the bulk of which was on the ground when I strapped on my boards.  It was a windy day, so we had to work around some lift closures 

The view from the bridge: We love when we can only see the tips.

Alas, the day took a rather turbulent turn, as right before lunch Mitch and I ducked into Grande, arguably the gnarliest, steepest tree run on the mountain.  He took a line further left than usual and i naturally followed...  but that left us in tight trees left of the open glade.

Here's what it looked like before it all went bad...  

I hit either a rock or a stump, and while one usually just bounces off of such impediments, it's all a blur after that.  I ended up airborne with a tree heading directly at me, and I've never seen a tree moving at such speed.  I hit it on my left hip, caromed off and continued a steed descent.  Mitch later estimated that I carried some 100 feet after impact, and who was I to argue?  My mouth filled with snow so not only was I hurtling towards immovable objects at speed, but I felt like I was suffocating.  Let the record show, I've been water-boarded and gave up NOTHING!

After assessing that nothing was broken, the next issue was to find my gear.  One ski was a few feet below where I came to rest, and I was able to grab it.  However, climbing was difficult, as the snow was hip-deep and provided little traction, even using the ski for leverage.

Mitch was 25 feet higher than I, and did the truly heavy lifting.  He was able to climb to ground zero, and described a trail of broken branches and debris down the face of the slope.  After poking around for a while he ultimately found both my poles and the all-important second ski.

Mitch making the arduous climb.  Trust me, it's far steeper than the two-dimensional camera makes it appear.

My Savior:  Mitch isn't an especially tall man, but he's not THAT short, it was quite deep in there.

Mitch really saved my bacon, because I don't think I had that climb in me.  And that, kids, is why we don't go into the woods alone.  In fact, FNBF* Bob and I bonded two years ago on a chairlift when we discovered that we each need a companion with whom to ski the woods.

Not surprisingly, I ended up with a huge bruise on my hip....and by huge I mean like the size of Rhode Island.  Bob wouldn't let me ski yesterday until we went to the local walk-in clinic to have it checked out.  I was pretty sure it was unnecessary, but, you know, friends watching out for friends, for which I'm very grateful.  I was cleared to ski, though Doctor's orders were groomers only, as she doesn't want me falling on the hematoma.

Bob and I went out and took a couple of loops without incident yesterday afternoon, but as I draft this I'm seriously considering taking today (Saturday) off.  The body hurts everywhere, and we're supposed to get more snow tomorrow...

* Former New Best Friend.

Separated at Birth - The Trilogy

The two previous SAB posts seem to have been among readers' faves, so why not milk it to death?  For new readers or those who want to relive an Unplayable Lies Greatest Hit, the original can be found here and the Sequel here.

 We'll kick off, as the Golf.com gallery does, with the Most Interesting Man in golf:

Miguel Angel Jimenez and Predator:  Can anyone identify which is which?

 How about a seasonal SAB?

USGA Prez Tom O'Toole and Ralphie from a Christmas Story.  They'll shoot their eyes out!

His Montyness is frequently associated with Mrs. Doubtfire, but the resemblance to former Giants coach Bill Parcells works as well.  As best I can tell, they appear to be the same mansiere size.

We have a couple of offerings in our music division, first Ryder Cup savant Paul Azinger and former Grateful Dead frontman Bob Weir:

And Robert Streb and Randy Travis:

We've quite the lengthy Hollywood category, kicking off with Billy Horschel and Christian Bale:

How about Will Ferrell in the More Cowbell SNL sketch and Graham DeLaet?

Or Tommy "Two Gloves" Gainey and David Koechner from Anchorman.

Or DLIII and Kevin Spacey:

 Long-hitting newcomer Tony Finau and Fred Savage in The Wonder Years:

 Or Bradley Cooper and the former professional golfer Dustin Johnson.

Lastly, reptilian Tom Kite and Bill Lumbergh from Office Space.

Oh wait, one more...John Daly and Fred Flintstone:

And now the all-important cheesecake division, leading off with Natalie Gulbis and Tara Reid.

In the Hispanic category, we have Belen Mozo and Penelope Cruz:

Now a couple of retreads....Jim Furyk was previously linked to Mr. Burns of Simpsons fame.  That bar is set awfully high, but how about Alas Poor Furyk and Sam the Bird from Sesame Street?

And Rickie Fowler was the obvious twin of Game of Thrones' Tyrion Lannistern in our SAB sequel, but I think you'll agree that Zac Efron could play him in the biopic.

This and That

Good Morning, Dear Reader.  I'll start with an apology for my prolonged absence.  I'm out in Utah with all sorts of family joining me, including a rare appearance by the bride.  I had intended to post a note to the effect that blogging would be light to nonexistent, but my laptop was hijacked by malware.  A two-hour McAfee tech support session seams to have cleaned up the mess, though I received a stern warning to cease browsing in such bad 'hoods.

So we've family coming together, including some not aware of the existence of the others, and the family has been seamlessly integrated into what Theresa refers to as "My Other Family."  There's but one thing missing...what do you call that white stuff that occasionally descends from above?  Snow, that's it... We're supposed to get hit with a good-size storm beginning tonight, but, you know, they lie...

So, how about a few golf items while we've a minute:

That's Gotta Hurt - Everyone from Shackelford to Maggot has been sending this item around, and it is worth a moment of your time:

I'd love a capture of the clubhead at impact, because I can't imagine the physics of sending a golf ball towards your face.

Cuba Libre - There's an understandable tendency to get ahead of facts on the ground, as Bradley Klein does here as relates to Cuba:

There is scant evidence of the once-flourishing resort trade to be found today in Cuba. The capital city is served only by the nine-hole Havana Golf Club. Two courses designed

by Donald Ross are long gone. The one hopeful sign of development, now more than 15 years old, is Varadero Golf Club, which was designed by Canadian Les Furber. It was home to the European Challenge Tour Grand Finals in 1999 and 2000. 

Varadero sits on a peninsula that is pinched by Cardenas Bay to the south and open waters to the north. It's land that would be the envy of any course architect, only 90 miles east of Havana. But access roads to Varadero still betray considerable neglect. They also reveal that the obstacle to development of such dramatic land is basic infrastructure – mainly highways and utilities. Eventually that will come. And when it does, the coastal region will become a haven for luxury-goers, mainly from Latin America – the same folks who have been parking their surplus capital and Rolls Royces in Miami.

Ummmmm...not so much.  The obstacle is more political and legal, with no assurance of property rights and without resolution of the claims related to property expropriated by the Castro regime, there can be no investment

Golf.com has an interesting slideshow on golf in Cuba, including pictures from Vasadero to which Brad Klein refers above.

The 8th hole at Vasadero.Golf Club.

Woe Is Us, Vol. CCXV - Hat tip to Shack for the link to this long Economist article on the state of our favorite game.  It's mostly familiar terrain, though with some figures more alarming than most (i.e., a 25% decline in the number of people playing at least once a month in England).  But I did like it's concise history of the game:

Golf traces its modern origins to 15th-century Scotland, where people played with wooden clubs and balls full of feathers. In 1457 King James II temporarily banned it, along with football, because it interfered with archery practice, but he was no match for its growing popularity. Mary, Queen of Scots was an enthusiast; her clubs were carried by students she called “cadets” (now known as “caddies”). The game of “gawf”, as it was first called, spread: first to England, and subsequently to its colonies.

Golf went mainstream in America in the 1890s. The wealthy and upper middle classes formed private golf clubs where they could play. Then, as today, its appeal depended on time and money. Late-19th-century Americans, with plenty of both and no gadgets to occupy them at home, liked the fact that it took hours to play. Safer than polo and less tiring than football, golf allowed businessmen to get to know each other and do deals between shots. John Rockefeller and Andrew Carnegie, early adopters, helped make the sport fashionable.

The unbylined piece covers everything from Foot-golf to Top Golf,   But most of the distress involved is a result of certain actors anticipating growth that didn't materialize.  There's a strong, committed base in our game, but it remains, as always, a niche sport.

Beclause We Must Have Been Very Bad -  It's hard to discern what we could have done to deserve this.  But here's hoping that the Golf Boys don't break up, as it's hard to be optimistic about Bubba's solo career:

Weekend Wrap

There was some golf played this past weekend, and it only seemed that it was all off in exotic lands.  But the most significant event took part in a broadcast booth in Naples, Fl, and it wasn't pretty from all accounts.  We'll get to that later...

Lucky Seven - World No. 3 Adam Scott came up short in the Australian PGA, losing in a ridiculous playoff:

GOLD COAST, Australia (AP) Greg Chalmers made par on the seventh hole of a

playoff while Adam Scott three-putted for bogey to give the Australian lefthander his second Australian PGA championship. 

Chalmers, who shot an 8-under 64 Sunday at Royal Pines after trailing the leaders by seven strokes going into the final round, and Scott and Wade Ormsby, who both shot 71, finished with 72-hole totals of 11-under 277.

The victor is a decent player who spends most of the year playing in the U.S., and might just be the best putter on the planet right now.  So, no disgrace for him to be your champion...

What was dreadful was that the seven-hole playoff  took place exclusively on the 18th hole at Royal Pines.  Shack has a worthy rant here, as it reminded him (as it would your humble blogger had I been awake that late) of the equally dreadful (though shorter) Lydia Ko-Carlotta Ciganda playoff in the ladies' season-ending event.

There's nothing wrong with a difficult Par-4 finishing hole for a stroke-play event, in fact the USGA is rather enamored of them for U.S. Opens.  But they are the absolute worst venues for sudden-death, as there's a propensity for a Groundhog Day simulation to occur.

Fathers, Sons - You'd have to be quite the curmudgeon to not appreciate the appeal of the annual Father-Son (or Daughter, Grandson, whatever) tourney that takes place around this time every year:

ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) Bernhard and Jason Langer won the PNC Father-Son Challenge on Sunday, closing with a 13-under 59 for a two-stroke victory in the better-ball event. 

The Langers finished at 23-under 123 at The Ritz-Carlton Golf Club's Grande Lake Orlando. 

Fourteen-year-old Jason jumped into the lineup Saturday when sister Christina withdrew because of back issues. He's the youngest son to win the event, breaking the mark of 15 set by brother Stefan in 2005.

I watched all of about ten minutes of it, and saw Jason drain two snakes.  Just awfully cute, especially as he was an emergency sub.  But I just have to wonder if the yips are passed from father to son...

Other Events - Lee Westwood came from behind to win in Thailand over Martin Kaymer and others, Branden Grace continued his mastery of tournaments held in South Africa with a win in the Alfred Dunhill and China's Shanshan Feng won the Women's Dubai Masters for the second consecutive year.  More than a bit of a yawn, hence the abbreviated coverage.

But there is one notable aspect of at least one of the aforementioned events, and it comes from one of the questions posed to the Tour Confidentialistas:

3. Trailing leader (and eventual winner) Branden Grace by one entering the final round of this week's Alfred Dunhill Championship at Leopard Creek in South Africa, 23-year-old Danish player Lucas Bjerregaard posted an 89 in the final round, including a back-nine 50. What's the worst final-round, 18-hole choke you've ever seen?

Tee hee.  That is quite the choke, as well as quite the last name...Wondering about the responses?  predictable in the main, with three mentions of the Shark's 1996 Masters gagfest.  Joe Passov can't do any better than Rory at the '11 Masters, andalso predictably takes about 400 words to come up with that lame answer.

Mike Bamberger shows his age by going with Ken Venturi's 80 in the final round of the 1956 Masters.  Wondering what's worse than shooting 80 to cough up a 54-hole lead at the Masters as an amateur?  That would be shooting 80 when 78 would have been good enough...

And here's Gary Van Sickle's take on this question:

How about that Roy McAvoy guy making an 12 on the last hole of the U.S. Open won by Peter Jacobsen? That was horrible. What a choke artist that clown was. That classy Shooter McGavin guy probably should have won.

Thanks for playing, Gary. 

Thoughts From Johnny - I guess Johnny Miller was watching last weekend, because he had this comment on Tiger:

On Tiger: “I’m not giving up on Tiger. Don’t write him off just yet. I saw the best swing

I’ve seen in years. Best since 2001, especially with the driver. There was nothing wrong with his irons. People talk about a slump but it had nothing to do with his 5-iron through wedges. The driver would just put him out of play and his putting is good but he seems to lip out a lot now. He’s sort of like a normal putter now.

Who knows, but that's what makes his return such fun...   Johnny was speaking into microphones because he played in the Father-Son event with his son Andy.  The high-point was Johnny rolling in from off the front of the 18th green, but at the link he has more on Tiger, as well as this:

On the Ryder Cup task force: “They are definitely grasping at straws. You have to sort of admit that Europe is a better team…Medinah could’ve turned it around. I mean, I wanted to throw up for about a week. We had that Ryder Cup. It was just brutal to see that happen. That probably still haunts guys like Stricker, Tiger and Furyk."

He also offers thoughts on Jordan Spieth and Patrick Reed... and as long as Johnny brought it up. Rex Hoggard filled us in on some details of the 4-hour Task Force Meeting conference call from former Cap'n. Tom Lehman:

“Tiger took charge. Raymond took charge, Phil took charge. We have guys who are very confident, very smart and sure of themselves. Somebody is going to step up and be the leader of this thing and that’s what we need,” said Love, the 2012 captain. 

“I can tell you that Tiger, Furyk and Stricker have been blowing my phone up since the meeting. It’s not like we had a meeting and said we’ll see you again in February. Everybody is excited and engaged.”

OK, so I'm guessing that taking charge is the key thought here.  Just like Phil took charge of the press conference...what could go wrong?

Did The Earth Move for You? - I'm reliably informed that they held an event called the Franklin Templeton Shootout and that Fox used this event as a dry run for their USGA television contract.  Good thing, too, as the notices have been rather harsh.  First, they began their first broadcast back on their heels, perhaps to mitigate some of the criticism:

“I realize one thing,” Buck said. “People at home don’t care who’s covering it. They just

want to sit on their couch and watch golf. There’s only one real way for us at Fox to start this venture and that is humbly. 

“When you get into this situation you realize how hard it is to cover golf and make it look seamless. I want to tip my cap…to the fine folks at CBS and the work of Frank Chirkinian in changing and revolutionizing the way golf is covered on television. And that’s up to present day, whether it’s NBC and Golf Channel, or ABC and ESPN or TNT. 

“Right now we are not worthy. Someday maybe we will be. We hope to innovate. We hope to have some fun. But most of all, in the promise we made at Fox to the USGA, is that we’re going to respect this great game.”

I'll give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they're being genuine, though humility is not something for which Mr. Norman is often credited.  Shack has a long, typo-filled (sorry for the snark, but I'm relieved that I'm not the only one whose fingers misbehave) review here, including this:

Mostly though, the telecast glitches reinforced the well-oiled nature of the incumbent golf networks, with way too many jarring cuts, announcer over-talking (especially when

audio engineers picked up conversations) and a rough start for lead man Joe Buck.

Pretty much everything dreaded when USGA moved its championships to Fox Sports was evident in the initial telecast. Way too much Fox bringing attention to themselves and not enough golf. Cheesy attempts at hipster status (Buck declaring "There's some Fox attitude!" the first time rock and roll was used to commercial). And dated looking graphics employing the chunky Fox font while the Fox logo was on screen at all times yet inexplicably not given a watermark finish. (Branding baby!)

So, Geoff, was there anything innovative or noteworthy about the broadcast?

The telecast also displayed glimpses of everything golf fans could hope for with the naming of Mark Loomis as coordinating producer: some fresh efforts to use drones for filming holes more tactfully (not just flying down the center as fast as possible), some excellent rear camera views to better show off course architecture, and most intriguing of all,"Fox Labs" attempts to show green contours and hole locations better.

Geoff provided this thumbnail of that reference to green contours (the caption is his):

A high-contrast look at the 18th green contours seemed to have potential but late day shadows dulled the effect.

I didn't see any of the broadcast and this screenshot is less than clarifying, so we may have to wait for the U.S. Open to see whether it's worth the bother.  But at least the focus is on a worthy target, as anything that helps the viewer perceive the green contours is helpful.  This other innovation seems far less promising:

Wow, does that look tacky... does anyone think it helps?  It reminds me of when they traced the puck with such a similar colored beam on hockey broadcasts long before we all had HD TV's.  My guess is that the USGA will nix this before Chambers Bay.  

The Tour Confidential boys also had at this one, with these notable responses:

SHIPNUCK: For all the hullaballoo, it looked like pretty much every other golf telecast I've ever seen. Announcers only occasionally add to my enjoyment, but they can certainly detract from it. I thought Greg Norman did a nice job in his debut, but Joe Buck was trying way, way too hard. He needs to slow his roll going forward. 

VAN SICKLE: The training wheels are still on at Fox. It's too soon to rush to a snap judgment but other than Steve Flesch, it was pretty much amateur hour. I was expecting better, even on the first telecast. We'll see.

Buck is an avid golfer, a single-digit player who belongs to the same St. Louis club as USGA Prez Tom O'Toole (coincidence?).  But the rest of his resume makes him an odd fit for golf, as his Sunday presence on the Fox NFL broadcast made clear.

But while it'll be mid-June before we see how much progress they make, the important thing seems to be that the check cleared.

Travelin' Joe, Unplugged - I've had lots of fun with Joe over the last year, mostly as a result of his long-winded and nonsensical answers as part of the Tour Confidential round-table.  His answer cited above is a fine axample of the genre, as was his comment a couple of weeks ago that Tiger would be relaxed at the Hero World Challenge because there's no all-important FedEx Cup points on the line...after all, it's common knowledge that Tiger kept a poster of Jack's FedEx Cup wins on his wall as a youngster...But I digress.

So, the panel is asked about Monty's comment that Rory's best is better than Tiger's best was, and here's just the opening snippet from Joe's Tolstoy-length response:

Open mouth, insert both splayed feet -- again. Rory's awesome. Let's admire somebody with such a flawless swing, affable disposition and limitless potential. However, he can't sniff Tiger's tighty-whities.

Joe, I'm perfectly willing to recognize you as an expert in the foot-in-mouth thing, but how exactly are you sure that Tiger's tighties are white?

Odds and Ends

It's that time of year, so bear with me as we acquaint ourselves with the bottom of the barrel...

Teeth, Gnashed - We haven't had one of these "Woe is me" stories in a bit....Sports Business Journal had a piece a few days ago (behind a paywall, so no link) to the effect that golf ratings were in the loo.  Shack had this summary:

The headline was brutal but reading between the lines, the drops might not be quite a "tumble." 

Michael Smith of Sports Business Journal says PGA Tourviewership "took another plunge during the 2013-14 season," reporting drops in average weekend numbers by 18% (NBC), 14% (CBS) and 9% for Golf Channel early weekend coverage, while pointing out that the "drops followed sharp declines the previous year as well."

Those numbers are certainly not great, but not quite as bad a s everyone seems to want them to be.  Shack commits an actual act of journalism, and follows up with this:

The Tour's Ty Votaw says the cumulative audience was down just 1 percent over 2013. The cumulative takes into account things like telecast replays and other variables.

“We have a lot of total TV hours, probably more hours of competition than most sports,” Votaw said.

A four-year snapshot shows that the tour’s cumulative audience in 2011 reached 175.9 million viewers; 171.2 million in 2012; 172.6 million in 2013; and 170.7 million in 2013-14.

With Tiger out for all but a few events and other variables, the numbers may not be that alarming. 

The 2014 tournaments also faced some difficult competition for eyeballs. The Sochi Olympics in February went up against three tour events, while the FIFA World Cup ran from June into July.

Given that neither Tiger nor Phil were weekend factors (excluding Phil's PGA cameo), this sounds about right.  It's more Apocalypse Delayed.

Saviors, Actually Talking - in another headline that doesn't hold up under moderate scrutiny, the Ryder Cup Task Force finally met.  And by "met" we mean held a conference call:

The PGA of America held the initial meeting of the U.S. Ryder Cup task force on Tuesday at its South Florida headquarters. 

As first reported by GolfChannel.com, the 11-member panel met via a conference call for more than four hours, beginning at 3 p.m. 

“We discussed a wide array of issues including the selection process for captains and vice captains and more,” PGA president Derek Sprague said in a statement. “Today was the beginning of a process that is designed to create the conditions for long-term Ryder Cup success. We have more work to do and look forward to gathering again to complete the work of the task force.”

I love that bit about meeting at the PGA's south Florida HQ.  No word on important issues, such as whether InstantConference.com or GoToMeeting.com was the vendor of choice.  But wait, there's more Ryder Cup silliness....  First up, at a kids clinic putative Ryder Cup Captain Fred Couples was asked about one of Captain Tom's most dissected decision:

Couples made the comments in a casual question and answer session while conducting a

clinic for young golfers at the opening of a 6-hole golf course in Maricopa, Arizona. 

Asked about the Ryder Cup, Couples said, “I'm not bashing Tom Watson, but sitting Mickelson, your best team player? Are you kidding me?" Couples, the 1992 Masters champion, has long been a close friend of Watson, whose captaincy of the US team was widely criticized after the September loss in Scotland.

Hmmm....lede, buried.  I'd actually prefer to hear more about the six-hole golf course than rehash this nonsense.   Might be an interesting business model, no?  But to his point, I have not the slightest problem with Watson sitting Phil in foursomes, as he couldn't find a fairway with a map.  The mistake was playing him in foursomes the first day...

Next up, Lee Trevino connects the dots for the purpose of....concluding the blindingly obvious:

Trevino has studied the records of Ryder Cup competitors and determined this is why the U.S. team has lost eight of the past 10 biennial competitions with Europe. 

"You look statistically: Tiger (Woods, who did not play this year) has a minus record, Mickelson has a minus record. Furyk has got a (10-20-4) record. (10-20-4)! You see what I'm telling you? A (10-20-4) record. I know he's a hell of a player, but he's got a (10-20-4) record. He's a minus-10. (Trevino, on the other hand, sported a 17-7-6 mark.) You can't name me a guy with a plus record that's playing the Ryder Cup right now. (Jordan) Spieth has one now, and then (Patrick) Reed, yeah, he's got a 3-1, right? They're rookies. But you give me a veteran that's played in three or four Ryder Cups, and not one has a plus. You can't win that way. You cannot win."

Ummm Mex, exactly how much studying did this require?   So as I understand your thought process, the way to win Ryder Cups is to, you know, win matches.... have you shared this with the Task Force?

Reset, Reset - Shack long ago dubbed the FedEx Cup the Reset Cup, tweaking Commissioner Ratched over the opaque and needlessly complicated process of taking away valuable FedEx Cup points to ensure that...oh heck, none of us really know what they have in mind.  It's just a massive money grab so who really gives a damn?

But soldier on we must, as the Tour has announced yet another tweak to their formulas:

Yet the PGA Tour appears not to be satisfied, and a tweak to the points formula

announced Thursday will decrease the number of points awarded at the four playoff events from 2,500 to 2,000, thus limiting slightly the amount of volatility that occurs at the four season-ending tournaments. 

The winner of a regular tournament receives 500 points, with 600 going to those who capture a major, so you can see that a victory in the playoff events has far greater importance. Instead of being five times as valuable as a regular event, now it is four times greater, apparently in an attempt to make the regular season more meaningful.

Fair enough. 

The problem is, you can't really have it both ways.

All righty.....let's see, the Fry's is worth 500 points, the U.S. Open 600 and The Barclays is worth 2,000.  Any questions?

Monty, Unhinged - But I repeat myself... I'm guessing that His Montyness might have had a wee nip before saying this:

"Tiger Woods is going to come back into the frame,' Mongomerie told Kicca.com when discussing next year's Masters. 'Is he going to be able to get back, not just to the levels he was but better than that? Because that’s where Rory McIlroy's taken the standard of golf: to one level beyond where Tiger was."

How can I put this respectfully?  Are you out of your effing mind?  Whatever you're smoking, I hope you brought enough to share....

 What I find most amazing about this comment is that Monty had a front row seat for Peak Tiger.  Shack had this very appropriate retort:

I'm pretty confident that we can drop today's Rory on a super firm, fast golf course and he's still going to struggle. Throw in some wind and he's just not there. Great player, but it's shockingly shallow, even for Monty, to make that case. But it worked, we're giving him the attention he craves.

True that, though I think the shear consistency of Tiger's performance is also worth a mention.  My sense is that Rory will always struggle with consistency, though his highs are quite impressive.  But let's circle back to this when Rory wins a U.S. Open by 15 shots.

From My Twitter Feed - I like speaking of "My Twitter Feed" even though I'm clueless as to how to utilize it.  There's still an opportunity for a teenager for an unpaid internship at one of the best new golf blogs, as I'm barely able to navigate 20th century technology.  But I digress...

I have gotten as far as following a bunch of folks, including Royal Dornoch Golf Club, who tweeted this photo of their famed links under snow:

Combined with our snow here a few days ago, that pretty much makes it official.  There's snow everywhere on our planet except for bloody Utah.