Your Friday Frisson

In which we have yet another installment of our recurring feature, Golfers Behaving Badly....

Dublin Doings - They're at Jack's place, but Jack might want to have a quiet word with a few of them....Before we get to that, it seems folks are way to quick to think this guy has reached the Promised Land.  Mike Bamberger, a grizzled veteran who really should know better, is at the helm this time, perfectly framing the unique mental demands of our game:

You know the deal: Koepka plays the game with his chest out, like a cleanup hitter, and if a troubling thought has ever crossed his mind on his fairway marches it’s not apparent to the millions of us watching. Then there’s Spieth and his brainy, emotional, skinny-guy

golf. The intra-hole castigation. The flop sweat. The towel-biting. Is this guy always on his tippy-toes or does it just seem that way? The great, great Spieth press-tent moment came after his win at Birkdale, where he began the final round with a three-shot lead over Matt Kuchar, before four straight bogeys out of the chute, which tied the game up. After the dust had settled and the jug went up, Spieth said, “I was questioning. Why couldn’t I just perform the shots that I was before. Sometimes you just can’t really figure it out, put your finger on it. Am I pulling it? Pushing it? Am I doing both? What’s going on with the stroke? It’s just searching… That kind of stuff goes into your head. I mean, we walk for two minutes, three minutes in between shots. And you can’t just go blank. You wish you could, but thoughts creep in.” 

Thoughts creep in.

More like flood in, though perhaps that's just me.  Well, Jordan and me, for sure....   

And while Mike's header implies that Jordan's struggles are behind him, the body of the article suggest that this 66 was more the result of smoke and mirrors:

Spieth’s 66 on the par-72 course that feels like a U.S. Open venue was a most excellent way to start the week, but it was also a most excellent adventure. Spieth, playing for his fourth consecutive week, chipped in twice. He made a bomb on the par-5 fifth for eagle. 

But he also drove it (and 3-wooded it) in play all day long, missing only two fairways.

One of his chip-ins, on the par-5 11th, rattled the flagstick before falling in. It was hot. The card said 4. He could easily have been a 6. 

“I was not deserving of that birdie,” Spieth said. “I felt like I stole one.” 

This is golf. Thoughts creep in. You make birdies you don’t deserve, you make bogeys you don’t deserve. You go to the range, looking for tomorrow when the whole world wants to ask you about yesterday.

Those fairways are plenty wide, and this week they're quite soft.  Heck, I saw somebody's three-wood hit and stick on a green in the few minutes I watched.  So they were effectively 50-60 yards wide....  I'm not rooting against the guy, just suggesting that this is an awfully small sample size.

This guy had an OK day as well, though folks seem to be grading on the curve:

A late burst of birdies gave Tiger Woods his first sub-par opening round in the Memorial Tournament since 2013. It also gave him something to build on. 

Coming off a missed cut at the PGA Championship, Woods birdied three of his last five holes Thursday for a 2-under-par 70 at Muirfield Village Golf Club on a damp, gray morning. It was his lowest score to begin this event since 2012, when he also shot 70 and went on to win the last of his record five titles here. 

“It was close to being easily a few more under par,” Woods, 43, the reigning Masters champion, said. “It was soft enough; it was gettable. And I just didn't quite do it. I had a couple of loose irons. But look at the scores. They're all getting after it today. I was close to being out there with them.”

Tiger knows he's dug himself a hole....

Shall we talk a little golf deportment....  Shack can't resist a Live Under Par™ jab, and who can blame him?  I would merely suggest that each of these men ask themselves in the moment, WWJD?  No, not him, I was referring to Jack....  I don't actually think that other guy played any golf.

 Leading off for us is former good guy Matt Kuchar, who seems determined to destroy a three-decade long reputation as a good guy in a single year.  His treatment of his fill-in looper, and us as well, has drawn scathing reviews around the world.  Thanks, Matt, it truly is a global sport thanks to your efforts....

His bizarre non-gimme with Sergio at the Match Play drew more mixed reviews, although that after-action hostage video was appointment TV.  I could swear that Sergio was blinking "Help Me" in Morse code, but that's not important now....

Dylan Dethier captures the bizarre scene in the 17th fairway as Matt demands a safe space:

Kuchar’s tee shot on No. 17 wound up in the edge of a pitch mark that he (and later, a rules official) determined was not his own. But Kuchar called in PGA Tour rules official Robby Ware in an attempt to gain relief on the belief that his bouncing ball had actually created a second pitch mark overlapping with the original. Players are entitled to relief

from their own pitch mark, but not from that of another player. 

Ware brought in an NBC cameraman and even ran back the ball landing on instant replay, but was ultimately unmoved by Kuchar’s case. Kuchar called in a second opinion from another rules official, Stephen Cox. 

As Cox approached, he asked Kuchar to explain the ruling he was looking for. “I’m just saying, there’s potential that it broke new ground in making its secondary pitch,” Kuchar told the official. 

Cox was skeptical. “Matt—the ball came to rest right there, and we know that it’s not your pitch mark.” 

Kuchar persisted. “I’m saying, if you look at the film, it looks like it’s gone hard enough to break new ground.” 

But Cox held his ground. “Ultimately it’s already in a hole that’s made by someone else, and I’m not buying that on a secondary bounce we’re going to get you out of a pitch mark that’s been made by somebody else,” he said. 

Kuchar made a final appeal that he watch the film, but Cox was firm. 

“I don’t need to look at it Matt—honestly, trust me, the guys have already seen it on TV…let’s get it back in play. It’s in a pitch mark which has been made by another stroke. That’s the decision.” 

It wasn’t clear if Kuchar was joking when he paused for a minute and replied: “Could I ask for a third?”

Joking?  That's a good one....  They keep asking for another rules official, until they get the answer they desire.  

I'm not entirely sure how to interpret this, but Kooch's act might be reaching its sell-by date:

By the way, it's an actual word....  or something.  From the authoritative Urban Dictionary:

shithousery 

Chiefly British term for underhanded conduct or gamesmanship in a sport, with the intention of gaining an advantage. Typically refers to association football.

Our hero did try to walk it back:

After his round, Kuchar downplayed the incident, calling it a “confusing rule” and a tough break.

So, you're saying that this is not a story....  I've heard that bit somewhere before....

Next up is defending champion Bryson DeChambeau, who imagines auras of penumbras in the rulebook.  His marquee group, which included Tiger and Justin Rose, was put on the clock after a bad time on the Par-5 fifth.  he posits this as his defense:

“He came up to me and told me I had a bad time. And I was like, do you realize I was

deciding between laying up and going for it?” DeChambeau said. “And we’ve had struggles the past three holes in a row, hazards and making bogeys and all that. Was that not factored in? ‘Well, it’s just 40 seconds, it is what it is.’ Well, I don’t agree with that.” 

When playing approach shots, Tour regulations afford the first player in the group 50 seconds to play his shot while each subsequent player must hit in 40 seconds or less. DeChambeau’s group spent much of their second nine at least a hole behind the grouping of Jordan Spieth, Rory McIlroy and Justin Thomas ahead of them.

C'mon, Bryson,  we keep hearing how smart you are, and the rules are quite clear.  It's only when you're deciding whether to go at a Par-5, have had three bad holes in a row AND the dog ate your homework that you get extra time.  Can I put you in a service dog?

Because he just can't get over how terribly special he is:

DeChambeau’s mathematical approach has come under fire before, with Brooks Koepka calling slow play on Tour “kind of embarrassing” following DeChambeau’s detailed pre-shot routine en route to a victory in Dubai. DeChambeau is aware of his reputation, one that he believes is unjustified. 

“It’s a bit unfair when you’ve got someone that’s behind you, let’s say, and they’re slower, but they’re quicker through their process. I get up there in the middle of the fairway and I have to wait for them to go, and then I have only my 40 seconds, which is what I’m trying to do everything under,” he said. “People call me slow. I call myself quick with the stuff I do. … A lot of guys out here, they just see it and they hit it. And for me I don’t want to do that because I feel like there’s other variables I get hurt on.”

I get that he's special...  I'm just having trouble understanding those guys behind him that are slower, yet quicker.... And he has to wait for them to go, almost as if they're ahead of him, but he clearly indicated they were behind him....  It's all so awfully confusing.

Last up is one of our personal faves, the great Phil Mickelson.  You might think that in approaching his last best chance to win a U.S. Open and complete the career grand slam (I'm not over the moon at his chances next year at Winged Foot, but Pebble where he won earlier this years seems like it's teed up for him), that he might pull a Johnny Mercer and, yanno, Ac-cent-tchu-ate the Positive.

But you would be wrong, as Phil picks Jack's event to trash the USGA:

Earlier this week, Golf Digest ran a story from its June issue filled with anonymous player quotes critiquing the USGA. But you’d be hard-pressed to find among those anything harsher than what was said about golf’s governing body on Thursday. And one

of the game's biggest stars, Phil Mickelson, was happy to attach his name to this

opinion. 

Following Mickelson’s opening 70 at the Memorial, the six-time U.S. Open runner-up was asked about how the USGA sets up the golf courses for its biggest annual event. He did not hold back. 

“I’ve played, what, 29 U.S. Opens,” Mickelson told reporters at Muirfield Village. “One hundred percent of the time they have messed it up if it doesn’t rain. Rain is the governor. That’s the only governor they have. If they don’t have a governor, they don’t know how to control themselves.”

 Is that what made you go for the green from the woods on Winged Foot No. 18?  At least he's going into the event in a positive frame of mind....  this time, I'm hoping that Mike Davis will just DQ his sorry ass.

Get Woke, Go Broke - Yesterday I made an editorial decision to not blog the Hank Haney story, but today my hand has been forced.  Here's a news flash, people sometimes say things with which we disagree....Those things sometimes seem stupid as well, but the remedy is a polite argument to the contrary, as opposed to banishing the person from polite society.

Hank Haney said some quasi-stupid things about women's golf on his SiriusXM radio show:

Golf instructor and commentator Hank Haney was having a great old time on his

SiriusXM radio show Wednesday morning, ripping women’s golf, the game’s magnificent South Korean standouts and this week’s U.S. Women’s Open, the crown jewel of the women’s game. 

His racist, sexist, xenophobic behavior was on display for anyone who listens to him on PGA Tour Radio. 

Co-host Steve Johnson: “This week is the 74th U.S. Women’s Open, Hank.” 

Haney: “Oh it is? I’m gonna predict a Korean.” 

Johnson, laughing: “OK, that’s a pretty safe bet.” 

Haney: “I couldn’t name you six players on the LPGA Tour. Maybe I could. Well … I’d go with Lee. If I didn’t have to name a first name, I’d get a bunch of them right.” 

Johnson: “We’ve got six Lees.”

Let's agree that Hank should really know better...  You're daring the outrage mob, and sure enough:

Even After Apology, Haney Suspended From SiriusXM Show, Status Under Review

Have you ever heard of a Kinsey gaffe?  Named after political commentator Mike Kinsey:

A Kinsley gaffe occurs when a political gaffe reveals some truth that a politician did not intend to admit.[3][4] The term comes from journalist Michael Kinsley, who said, "A gaffe is when a politician tells the truth – some obvious truth he isn't supposed to say.

And yes, Hank is not supposed to call out the LPGA for the dominance of South Korean golfers, even though it presents the most profound marketing issue for that tour.  One doesn't have to go to the trouble of being a racist or misogynist to experience difficulty in keeping the girls straight....

After all, Mr. Johnson understated the problem above.  We don't just have six Lees, we have six Jeongeun Lees.  I know that, because the South Koreans have conveniently numbered them for us.

All the ladies and those piling on are accomplishing is to draw greater attention to this problem, to extend the news cycle.  Congrats, guys and girls, you've only succeeding in falling into hank's carefully constructed trap....

As if anyone cares, but at that link above Shack offers a spirited defense of Hank on the allegations of misogyny and racism.   All I know is that back in the day he was happy enough to work with a black guy.  What?  Cablinasian?  WTF is that?

Doing The Charleston - The gals are playing that Open at the interesting Country Club of Charleston, and amusing Hank is wrong thus far:

Mamiko Higa leads the charge 

Mamiko Higa primarily competes on LPGA of Japan Tour, where she has four wins on her resume. This is Higa’s first U.S. Women’s Open appearance, and she’s off to quite a start: six birdies and no bogeys in the first round. 

The last time a player won the U.S. Women’s Open in her first appearance was In Gee Chun in 2015 — so there is fairly recent precedent! 

Another fun fact about Higa: Last October, she married Ikioi Shota, a world-class sumo wrestler.

 That's so great, though he must be the sumo equivalent of a bantamweight....

It's a fluke, as she got out early in the calm conditions, but the course looked great.

Beth Ann Nichols has a fun piece on the ladies qualifying at precocious ages for this event, and I particularly liked this one:

Nelly Korda was 14 when she first qualified for the USWO. She tied for 64th at Sebonack Golf Club and said the experience not only motivated her to get out on the LPGA, but made her fall in love with the game even more. 

Her favorite moment from the week came when she knocked it to 4 feet on a drivable par 4. 

“It made like $20,000 to like a children’s hospital,” said Korda, “and I got asked what it felt like or what I was thinking over the shot, and I was 14, and I was just like, ‘You got to risk it for the biscuit.’ ”

And this:

How are the other big names playing? 

Seven-time major champion Inbee Park finished at one under par (70) on Thursday. She’s seeking her third U.S. Women’s Open title. 

Lexi Thomspon also shot one under par, which is five shots back of Higa’s lead.

World Nos. 2 and 3, Minjee Lee and Sung Hyun Park, are six shots back at even par. 

Jennifer Kupcho was also even par in her professional debut. 

Lydia Ko, World No. 1 Jinyoung Ko, Maria Fassi, Ariya Jutanugarn, Brooke Henderson and Amy Yang are seven shots back at one over par. 

Paula Creamer is two over par, and 14-year-old Alexa Pano shot four over par.

Anyone want to break the news to Jessica that Paula hasn't been a big name for about a decade now?  And how did all six Lees make out?

Have a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday.

Wait, on second thought, one last non-golf item to leave you smiling.  bad ceremonial first pitches are their own amusing art form.  But we have anew contender for best ever:

Let's just say there was some shaky command on tonight's ceremonial first pitch at Guaranteed Rate Field.#Royals | #WhiteSox pic.twitter.com/c3YT5YsH3o

— FOX Sports Kansas City (@FSKansasCity) May 28, 2019

Just a little bit outside....

Thursday Threads

No time for pleasantries, we've got a rich, full day ahead of us....

Cardinals Rule - It's team match play, so the best don't always win....  Certainly not this year:

After Stanford finished eighth or worse in each of its three stroke-play events in the fall, Ray knew his squad needed to toughen up. He added a Friday morning workout to the

team’s weekly training schedule. The high-intensity conditioning, led by assistant coach Matt Bortis, likened to a boot camp for golfers, so the team coined the hourlong sessions, “Bortis Camp.” 

Bortis, who played three years at Arkansas before becoming an All-American at Texas as a senior, spent eight years in the Marine Corps prior to taking the Stanford job last October. 

“Without a doubt, I’d say that we were the underdogs, but I think some of the stuff that we’ve been doing together has proven guys otherwise,” Bortis said.

Geoff uses this great event to bemoan the conformity of another:

Olympic golf is about to be on our radars and players will be forced to pretend how excited they are about the possibility of playing a purse-free WGC event at a greater Tokyo country club, the 2019 NCAA Championships once again reminded how much more compelling team match play is than 72 holes of stroke play.

Nothing about this year’s college golf should have been that compelling other than seeing a historic team cap off their season. They didn’t so two other top ten teams faced off in the final. Still, it featured players largely unknown to most watching, a course featuring an odd set of often buzz-killing green complexes and less than ten hour turn around to beat storms. Yet Stanford and Texas put on another stellar match play era show.

Everything about the modern NCAA’s TV-friendly format continues to be fan friendly and a constant, pesky reminder of Olympic golf’s refusal adopt a team format. Seeing players fight for their team in a sport where lone wolf types generally excel, and watching coaching and team components juxtaposed with match play makes for the ultimate “grow the game” theater. It also helps to have a telecast free of promos, thus allowing more time to listen in on player-coach conversations or to simply let announcers set up situations.

Hey, I've been reliably informed that Olympic Golf is epic.  C'mon, 72 holes of stroke play....  I'm sure they spent weeks coming up with that imaginative format.

I know he bowed out Tuesday afternoon, but have you caught Matthew Wolf's golf swing?  I'm having no luck embedding it in a tweet, but you can watch it here.  Not sure what's more curious, the swing itself or that triggering move.

He'll undoubtedly come out with sponsor exemptions lined up.  We usually like to see the kids stay in school, but it's hard to argue that there's much left to accomplish at the amateur level.  Shipnuck had this question in his mailbag:

This kid Matthew Wolff appears to be the real deal. Does he turn pro this year and how quickly do you think he has an impact on PGA Tour? Keep up great work bro. -@dafrase 

Man, you were doing so well right up until the word ‘bro.’ Anyway, it seemed like a done deal Wolff would turn pro after these NCAAs…and then Oklahoma State got upset in the semis. He clearly cares about his team, and so I suppose the sting of this epic upset could lure Wolff back for a run at another, cathartic natty. But, clearly, Wolff has outgrown the college game and I expect he’ll follow in the footsteps of Tiger, Rickie, Jordan and sundry others who bolted early for the big leagues. Wolff is a special talent, and it will be a blast to watch him attack Tour venues. It seems like a sure thing that he’ll have a long, fruitful career but predicting pro success can be dicey. Remember Manny Zerman? Joel Kribel? Pablo Martin? Exactly.

Manny Zerman?  Takes a fellow back for sure....

On Pebble - And the USGA, as well...  Just yesterday we had an anonymous pro calling ourt Rory for his alleged willingness to boycott the U.S. Open.  Strange that, methinks, since Rory has always seemed to go out of his way to remind folks that the Far Hills Liberty Corner gang aren't deliberately beclowning themselves.  Nice of him to do so, for sure, though the need to do so is telling in its own right:  

McIlroy, who won the 2011 championship at Congressional Country Club in Bethesda, 

Doesn't this seem like a lifetime ago?

Md., said that he has a good relationship with the association, and that the USGA has sought his opinion on some golf matters. He is willing to give its leaders the benefit of the doubt as controversy swirls around them.

“They’re trying to do as good a job as they can,” McIlroy, No. 4 in the world, said Wednesday at the Memorial Tournament. “And I think they’ll admit they’ve made a couple of mistakes over the last couple of years. Everyone does. And I think we should give them the chance to redeem themselves. If they can’t redeem themselves at Pebble Beach, then there could be a problem.” 

McIlroy didn’t elaborate on what the “problem” might entail.

Of course, his Back to the Future solution leaves many of us cold:

“I guess in my head growing up watching the U.S. Opens, that was what my perception of a U.S. Open was. It was tight fairways, it was thick rough. It was a premium on accuracy and precision,” McIlroy said. “And I think some of the golf courses we played and some of the setups over the last couple of years have went a little bit away from that. We play one Open Championship a year; we don't need to play two. I think it’s just lost its identity in terms of what it is, and I’d like to see them go back to that, because it worked. It really worked.”

Like Rory, I never got the Chambers Bay venue decision, as links golf isn't an American tradition.  But memories of those dreadfully boring U.S. Opens at rough-choked golf courses have faded...

In agreement with your humble correspondent is one Alan Shipnuck, from whose mailbag we also cherry-pick this bit:

Is there a way to make the U.S. Open stand out as toughest test of golf without going overboard on the course setup? Back to 36 holes a day? #askalan -@EduCrawford 

I would loooove to see a return to the grueling 36-hole finish, which pushed players to the breaking point physically, mentally and spiritually. (Ask Ken Venturi, circa 1964.) But given the current plague of slow play, it would take two full days to play 36 holes in a day, so who are we kidding? Otherwise, the best hope is for the Open to go old-school with skinny fairways, gnarly rough and brick-hard greens, weather permitting. This kind of setup doesn’t lend itself to exciting golf, but it will identify a very proficient champion.

This to me is the threshold question of the era.... Maybe now isn't the time for it, but the desire to make the U.S. Open a sterner test than the other 51 weeks of the year seems a valid objective, consistent with the event's and organization's history.  The means of doing so, in a world of 350-yard carries, is less clear...

That Tiger guy had a free weekend, and snuck in a visit to Pebble:

When asked to assess his recent scouting trip to Pebble Beach ahead of next month’s U.S. Open, Tiger Woods got straight to the point. 

“Pebble was wet, cold and rainy,” Woods said with a grin Wednesday at the Memorial. 

Days after missing the cut at the PGA Championship, Woods flew to Pebble Beach for a scouting trip ahead of the season’s third major. He got in a full day of practice last Friday along the Monterey Peninsula in conditions that were a far cry from those he enjoyed while winning the 2000 U.S. Open at Pebble by a record 15 shots.

Just what a guy with a fused back needs, right?  I would just advise those that like his chances there to at least scout a weather report before committing any shekels to his prospects.  Marine layers and all...

Woods tied for fourth at Pebble Beach during the 2010 U.S. Open, but he hasn’t played the course in competition since a T-15 finish at the 2012 AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am when he shot a final-round 75 alongside eventual champ Phil Mickelson. Even in cold and wet conditions, Woods found a course that should provide a stern test for the field in two weeks. 

“I forgot how small the green complexes are. Add a little bit of firmness and speed to them and they get really tiny,” Woods said. “But seeing some of the new greens that they had re-done, taking a look at some of the new pins was nice to see. So come next week when I start concentrating and focusing on Pebble Beach, it will be nice to have those images.”

I totally don't recall him being a factor that week, but those small greens are the primary defense of the golf course.  Shack has the logical explanation for Tiger's lack of recall:

Part of Tiger’s forgetfulness has to do less with eroding brain cells and more with encroaching bunkers and the continued shrinking of Pebble’s greens since the last Open.

Fortunately, the two worst greens have been rebuilt (Nos. 17 and 14).  Remember that confessional from Golf Digest about the USGA?  No?  Geez, it was only yesterday....  Lots of comments on Pebble in 2010:

CADDIE FOR MULTIPLE MAJOR-CHAMPIONSHIP WINS: I fear for Pebble. It was close to unplayable in the last round in 2010.

TEACHER OF MULTIPLE MAJOR CHAMPIONS: The story going into Pebble is, “How will they screw this one up?” The greens will be brown again. What other defense does a course that length have? It's so short [7,075 yards, par 71]. And what will they come up with at the [par-5] 14th? I'm betting no ball will stay on that green after they get done with it [even after it was redesigned]. So what will they do? Water some greens and not others? Mow some greens but not others.

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: The last time we played there in the Open, they

screwed up 17 [which underwent a restoration in 2015]. You had seven guys on Sunday hit the green in regulation. That's unacceptable. I hit a 4-iron one pace on [the green] in line with the pin, and if it hadn't hit the TV tower it would have gone in the water. Explain how I'm supposed to play this hole. Guys had to hit it in the front bunker, miss the green intentionally, and get up and down. That's not golf. 

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: That's a prime example of how they could take a great, iconic hole at Pebble, where there's been so much history, and have the 71st hole of a major championship be complete luck. 

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: In 2010, they were some of the worst greens I've putted on. They were so bumpy. Half of a green would be brown, half of it would be green. You'd hit one wedge, and it would one-hop over the back; you'd hit the next one, and it would land in a green spot and rip back 25 feet. I don't know how much skill is involved at that point. 

FORMER U.S. OPEN CHAMPION: No. 8 barely has a pin placement on it. 

FORMER U.S. OPEN CHAMPION: The course is exposed to the elements, so the conditions can change in an instant. 

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: Let's not trick Pebble up. Let's leave Pebble to be Pebble. It's hard enough as it is. 

TEACHER OF MULTIPLE MAJOR CHAMPIONS: Pebble is not a course where they're going to hit driver anyway. Forget trying to make them hit driver. They don't have to. How can it be a U.S. Open if you can leave your woods at home? 

TEACHER OF MULTIPLE MAJOR CHAMPIONS: I've seen the fairway cuts for Pebble, and they're obnoxious. The rough on the 18th fairway comes right out to the tree. On the sixth hole, the “fairway” bunker is 35 yards into the rough. It should be on the edge of the fairway, not completely out of play. If they want to make the fairway that wide, put the bunker where it's supposed to be.

To me it was always strange that there wasn't more grumbling after that 2010 Open, where players deliberately played into the front bunker on No. 17.   The only way to hold that green was to land the tee shot in the rough between the bunker and green.... what Jack used to refer to as landing a 4-iron on the hood of a Buick.

There's a lot of discussion as well about Saturday at Shinny, specifically how the golf course changed in the course of the day.  Same concerns apply here, it's a very hard thing to get precisely right.

A Battle of Headers - We had the story of Justin Rose's longtime looper Mark Fulcher yesterday, so you know the background.  Here's the entirely appropriate Golfweek header from that item w elinked yesterday:

Justin Rose's longtime caddie Mark Fulcher sidelined indefinitely due to health concerns

Pretty low degree of difficulty you'll agree, and yet here's the Golf Digest header:

Justin Rose Splits With Longtime Caddie

Perhaps another line of work would suit their talents better?  Unless, yanno, it's all about raisng class consciousness among the proletariat.... 

The Problem With Hogan - The previously unknown-to-me John Barton has a problem with Ben Hogan....  though I'm unclear on what that problem might be.  He frames his piece in Hogan's childhood trauma:

One night, in 1922, Chester Hogan, a rural Texas blacksmith, was arguing with his wife. Then he went into another room, pulled a .38 revolver from his bag, and shot himself. 

According to some accounts, his 9-year-old son, Ben, was in the room with him.

What did Ben Hogan witness—did he see the suicide? What was the impact of the trauma? Of growing up without a father? Of knowing that the man who made him, whom he idolized, came to the irrevocable decision that life was not worth living? 

Child victims of a parent's suicide often are susceptible to depression, social maladjustment and post-traumatic stress disorder. More pressing for the Hogans was the fact that they were plunged into poverty. Young Ben went to work. To help the family make ends meet, he sold newspapers. Then one day, at age 11, he hiked seven miles to Glen Garden Country Club after he'd heard you could make money carrying golfers' bags. 

Golf adopted Hogan. His clubs became his hammer, the practice tee his anvil. He forged something beautiful. Ben Hogan became Hogan.

That's a shock to anyone unfamiliar with the Hogan story, but where might we be headed?  I gather the problem has something to do with this:

For many, Hogan is an icon of what it means to be a golfer and a man. Clean-shaven, immaculately dressed, scrupulously honest. Modest. Hard-working. Disciplined. Stoical. A lone wolf, battling nature and the elements, internal ones as well as external.

Golf prides itself on its life lessons. The game comes with a set of rules, a tribe and village elders. From role models like Hogan, boys can learn to be men (something many aren't learning at home: one in three American kids, like the teenage Hogan, don't live with their dad). They learn that the game is hard, and rewards are few. Good bounces can come disguised as bad bounces, and vice versa. Play the ball as it lies. No one saw you inadvertently break a rule? Call a penalty on yourself. Take dead aim. Don't complain; don't explain. Got a problem? Fix it. "Dig it out of the dirt." 

Yet Hogan was famously taciturn and cold. He eschewed small talk or, more accurately, talk. He hated giving interviews. He could stop a young autograph hunter in his tracks with an icy stare. As a kid, Hogan hovered like a disapproving eminence grise over my fledgling attempts to become a grown-up. He seemed like every hard-ass teacher I'd ever had at school, every disapproving ex-military British golf-club secretary who ever upbraided me and my friends for some absurdly petty transgression, every unnamed Victorian ancestor who peered unsmilingly out from old photograph albums. I read in one of Jack Nicklaus' autobiographies that he liked Hogan because he wasn't effusive, and in Nicklaus' view, effusiveness was bad. My ensuing monosyllabic attempt to be uneffusive was short-lived.

And that's a problem why?  That a man who survived profound childhood trauma might emerge a little on the taciturn side seems obvious....  Barton then devolves into psychobabble leading to this rousing crie de couer:

We tell our sons to man up. There's no crying in baseball, or anywhere else. Boys are raised to feel nothing (except anger, which is manly); to say little; to be expendable cogs in a loveless machine. We create numb, inarticulate loners: John Wayne, Charles Bronson, Clint Eastwood. Travis Bickle, Timothy McVeigh, Ted Kaczynski. The guy who works in IT. We create absent fathers. We ride off into the sunset.

You see what he did there?  John Wayne and Clint Eastwood are just like the Unabomber....  Even better, it's there movie personas that are just like those social misfits and serial killers.

But are our boys really raised these days to feel nothing?  Why are we giving them participation ribbons then?  Hogan has many virtues that can and should be preached to the young of today, but no one that can fog up a mirror presents him as a role model for the modern world.  I happen to think those old world values have merit, but that's an argument for another day.

Alan Unplugged - Shippy's mailbag is a national treasure,...  OK, I exaggerate, but the appeal of low-impact blogging is obvious.  Just think of it as a low-carbon source of snark...  Lots to enjoy on Jack and his event:

The Memorial has the worst logo on Tour by far. Get me in touch with Jack to

redesign, yes or no? -@JustShake 

I agree it’s rather underwhelming. Surely there should be some iconography from Big Jack’s career — how about the putter-raise from the 71st hole at the ’86 Masters? Alas, no doubt Nicklaus has vetoed many such ideas with his Midwestern modesty. But if we’re not going get the man himself, shouldn’t they put a milkshake in the logo?

It's amazing how much press those milkshakes get.  

Does Jack get enough credit for his record of top-3 finishes in majors? It’s almost as amazing as the 18 titles. -@SteveThomsonMN 

It might be more amazing. Want to make your face melt off? Peep Nicklaus’s finishes at the British Open from 1963-1980: 3, 2, 12, 1, 2, t2, t6, 1, t5, 2, 4, 3, t3, t2, 2, 2, 1, t2, t4. In the 1970s there were only five f’ing majors where he didn’t finish in the top-10! Big Jack had 13 seasons in which had at least three top-5s in the majors! It goes on and on. What a legend.

For sure.  Though he played so conservatively in majors that it raises an interesting question.  How many might he have won had he fired at pins and the like?  

On other subjects:

Has Kevin Na got the mindset to win a major? -@tav190 

Without a doubt. Dude has been to hell and back…a few times. He might be the toughest, most tenacious player on Tour. His iron play is first-rate and short game among the best on Tour — that game travels, especially on a course that doesn’t require a lot of drivers, like Pebble Beach or assorted Open Championship venues. It would be deeply satisfying to see Na break through at a major because few players have ever climbed a mountain that high.

I have no opinion on this, as Na's play has never captured my affections.  Well, except for that time in San Antonio when he need an HP 12C to compute his score on a Par-4.  Alan did write the definitive piece on the man back in 2016,  If you're wondering whether Kenny Harms deserved that souped up Dodge Charger, just remember where they were a few years ago.

Is Sophia Na the new Dash Day? -@WallDwarf 

How cute was that? I used to be violently opposed to the family photo ops, because it seemed so contrived — after the winning touchdown catch is a football player mobbed by his wife and kids? But I guess I’m getting soft in middle-age because lil’ Sophia was one of my favorite parts of Na’s victory, of which there was much to celebrate.

Middle age?  Nah, Alan is still a young brat....

Onto another tragi-comic hero?  Why not?

Speith always talks WE…. do you think if he would say “I “ need to putt better or

“I” need to drive better, he may win? I understand the team concept, but he hits the shots. He’s responsible during the game. -@CarsleyGolf 

This has always vexed me, and it goes way beyond Spieth. The royal “we” sounds inclusive but really it’s a shirking of the rugged individualism that has always made golf great. The modern pro has an entourage to attend to his mind, body and soul but, as you say, they’re ultimately all alone out there. I think acknowledging and embracing that would help a lot of these guys, not just Spieth.

OK, we'll just have to differ on this one.  Yes, for sure, Jordan is always saying "We're so close, and then going out and stinking up the joint.  You seem to find the first-person plural pronoun the more curious, whereas I focus on the his rather misguided characterization of his game.

To wit:

Starting now, who wins more Majors: Bruce or Ricky + Rory + Jordan combined? -@ianmdallas 

Oof, tough one. For the sake of this argument, let’s give Bruce/Brooks four more. Rickie will win one — he has to, right? Otherwise all those commercials are for naught, and who could abide that? Same with Rory — one of these days he’s going to turn a backdoor top-5 into a victory, just by accident. That puts the onus on Spieth. Does he have three more major championship victories in him? Does he have *one*? As woebegone as he seems these days he’s still only 25. He’s so smart and tenacious he has to figure it out soon. Right? The more we talk this out, I’m taking Koepka!

Yup, you keep waiting for that inevitable Rickie breakthrough....

This remains an interesting subject:

How far away are we from the PGA Tour network and what do you think that means for golf’s current TV partners? -@DKateeb 

Before GolfTV made the scene I thought the Tour was positioning itself to start its own network. But Discovery is a huge, worldwide platform run by a bunch of smart people. And of course Golf Channel already serves as a very capable delivery system for Tour-related content. The amount of investment it would take for the Tour to duplicate these networks — in gear, technicians and talent — is prohibitive, to say nothing of the challenge of breaking into existing cable companies. Obviously the Tour could scoop up a ton of money, but that is reliant on delivering a good product. Look at recent ad campaigns and the bland social media offerings that emanate from Ponte Vedra Beach — are these people going to suddenly be able to create compelling television? Seems unlikely, and deep down Jay Monahan must know that.

One thing I learned long ago is that all businesses look better from a distance, and this certainly applies here.  I'm pretty convinced that the Tour would be far better served to just keep cashing large checks, but I have no idea how Jay Monahan sees this issue.  But I could also see them take an equity stake in Golf Channel as part of the next contract, though certain books on journalistic ethics might need a quick rewrite.

You’re playing a par-3 in a charity outing, put one in the bunker, purchase a mulligan to benefit the charity and ace the next shot…does it count? -@JimmyNuge 

No, but nice par!

This is asked of Alan because he has filled column inches with whining about never having made an ace...   Still, the better question might have been whether it qualified for the Closest to the Pin.

I don't typically bore you with stories of my own play, as I feel that readers of these pages have already suffered enough.  But this query reminds me of a routine par I made at our third  hole last Saturday.  Having tugged a pitching wedge into the pond, I proceeded to hole out from the drop area...  It's actually quite aggravating, but that's the game we love.

Catch you tomorrow?

Midweek Musings

I am pegging it later this morning, so let's get to the important stuff....

Match Play Madness - I had to pass on the quarterfinals, but the semis certainly delivered the goods:

The Oklahoma State Cowboys won’t get a chance to defend their men’s NCAA Championship. 

In a wild match that went to a playoff hole, the Longhorns outdueled the Cowboys to win 3-2 and advance to the match play final against Stanford after Cowboy senior Zach Bauchou missed a putt from a few feet that would’ve forced a second playoff hole.

Entering the semifinal match, Texas held a 3-2 regular season record against Oklahoma State. 

In what appeared to be the match of the day between Texas freshman Cole Hammer and Oklahoma State’s individual national champion Matthew Wolff, Hammer dominated from the start, announcing his presence with authority en route to a dominant 4&3 victory for the Longhorns’ first point. Seconds after the first point, fellow freshman Pierceson Coody added the second point with a 5&4 victory over Oklahoma State senior Hayden Wood.

It was truly Hammer time in Fayetteville, as the frosh with the perfect name took down the best player in college golf.... and it wasn't close.

And that missed putt by Zach Bauchou was the dreaded horseshoe.  In the other semi....

Stanford freshman Daulet Tuleubayev was the hero for the Cardinal in their semifinal match against Vanderbilt at Blessings Golf Club. 

The Almaty, Kazakhstan native hit a putt on the 18th green from outside 20 feet at the 2019 NCAA Div. I Men’s Golf Championship to send Stanford to its first-ever match-play final and a chance to win a ninth national title. 

However, the putt wasn’t the craziest thing to happen to Tuleubayev in the semifinal match. 

“First drive I pushed it a little to the right, and it sounded funny,” Tuleubayev said after defeating Harrison Ott 1-up. “I didn’t think of it too much. Coach said, ‘Was that a crack?’”

Either a crack or "damage", and you'll be rolling your eyes when informed that it matters which:

The official explained that there’s an explicit local rule that states you can replace a damaged driver, but not a cracked driver, which Tuleubayev thought “was a little ridiculous.” Ray described the crack as “a hairline fracture, four inches across the top” of the driver head.

From there the story gets even crazier, but they have until early this morning to figure things out.

Copying the Masters, the finals have been moved up to 8:30 a.m. EDT in hopes of finishing before nasty weather hits.

U.S. Open Confidential -  The USGA has been rightly criticized for it's run of U.S. Open cock-ups, and you can predict the outcome when you ask players (plus coaches, caddies and the like) to speak under a grant of anonymity.  But, irony alert, in trashing the USGA they inadvertently hold a mirror up to themselves.

This must be an important piece, because Golf Digest assigns both John Huggan and Brian Wacker to it, and you'll know where they think they're headed with this:

Golf Digest interviewed 57 people intimately involved in the game, including 35 current players and 16 major champions, along with caddies, coaches and analysts, and uncovered details on rapidly eroding relationships with the governing body. The

resentment ran so deep that at one point in 2016, leading players say, they even contemplated the unthinkable: a boycott of the U.S. Open. 

It's not just the long list of Open controversies that have antagonized players (the handling of the Dustin Johnson ruling at Oakmont in 2016 and the ravaged greens at Chambers Bay in 2015, to name but two). The new rules for 2019, and their implementation, have led big names to on-course displays of mockery that would have made Arnold Palmer cringe.

As you'll see here, not all players agree on everything, but there's a common tone that the ruling body faces huge challenges to win back trust, on and off the course. Many of the people interviewed, including those who are supportive and/or sympathetic with the USGA, would speak candidly only with anonymity. “The U.S. Open means so much to me and my family,” one former champion says before adding some tough love: “The gap between the players and the USGA is bigger than it has ever been. There is a total lack of respect. And the USGA people brought it on themselves.”

The piece leads with the anticipated gripes about set-ups, and here the USGA has it coming.  But amidst these obvious gripes, one caddie inadvertently demonstrates that he's not exactly arriving with only carry-on baggage:

CADDIE FOR MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNERS: The USGA official with every group always patronizes the caddies on the first tee: “Make sure you've got 14 in there—count your clubs.” That's insulting. That's not their job; it's mine. And if I have 15, it's my fault. I heard a caddie say once, “Don't worry, I've got this. I do it every week of the year. It's only you guys who do it once a year.” That statement applies to so much of the U.S. Open.

As long as you stay focused like a laser on the truly important things....  This one is interesting as well:

TEACHER OF MULTIPLE MAJOR CHAMPIONS: The USGA is an organization built on egos. It's full of successful people who are not used to being told what to do. And they're very rich, typically. They don't listen when it comes to golf.

I'm reminded here of something the late, great Frank Hannigan once told Shack, that the biggest problem with the USGA was their need to be liked.  Doesn't that seem a more likely explanation for some of that which has gone down?

Admittedly, this is my favorite part....  Not the most important, for sure, but telling in its own way:

WINNER OF MORE THAN 10 PGA AND EUROPEAN TOUR EVENTS: It will

only take player power to turn the tournament on its head. If you had a majority of players say they're not playing—and that nearly happened a couple of years ago—if that doesn't set alarm bells ringing, then nothing will. 

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: We weren't getting extra money originally [after the USGA signed a 12-year, $1.1 billion television deal with Fox beginning in 2015]. In a player meeting we talked about it, just to raise everyone's attention.

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: We had about 10–15 guys who were willing to sit out after 2016. Some of them were big names—Dustin was one, Rory was another.

Two obvious points need to be made.  First, when they tell you it's not about the money....  Yeah, it's about the money.

Secondly, you'll only speak candidly if you can do so anonymously, though you've no hesitation in selling DJ and Rory down the river....  Remind me, if I ever get into a PGA Tour locker room, to keep a watch out for shivs.

That stuff will get the most pixels, but my sense is that the Euros interviewed might be the more candid.  Don't these have the ring of truth?

MULTIPLE EUROPEAN TOUR WINNER: I played with two leading Americans in the first two rounds last year. One whined for two days. The other's caddie had to tell him to shut up at one point, he was being such a pain. He said it was “clown golf,” but it wasn't. He was just hitting it bad. 

MULTIPLE EUROPEAN TOUR WINNER: The U.S. Open should be a test of temperament as well as execution and technique. 

EUROPEAN TOUR WINNER: I've played in three U.S. Opens on three classic courses. I never had a problem at any of them. I thought the USGA did a fantastic job.

Those aren't the kind of link-bait that Golf Digest is after....  Wouldn't you love the names in that first guy's quote?

Problematic for me, is that these guys just don't know their history:

MULTIPLE MAJOR CHAMPION, INCLUDING THE U.S. OPEN: The USGA could do 10 great things at a U.S. Open, but the one bad thing they do is what gets publicized. They overthink it. It's golf. It's not a math equation. The R&A runs one tournament a year, and we never hear from them, because they deal with flat links greens and they can't get them above 11 on the Stimp.

Curious...  I guess you don't remember the R&A suspending play in 2015 because of the....wait for it, the wind?  On a friggin' links?  Where play continued on the more exposed Castle Course?  Because the greens were running too quick in order to keep scoring under control....

ARCHITECT AND MULTIPLE TOUR WINNER: The U.S. Open managed to identify Hogan, Nicklaus and Woods. But among them, Palmer, Snead and Mickelson won only one, total [Palmer in 1960]. Is that bad luck, or something else?

Well, folks still can't get over that 1939 U.S. Open set-up....  Sheesh, are we blaming Phil's 2006 meltdown on Mike Davis as well? 

And this:

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: I miss the U.S. Opens of old, where you had narrow fairways and thick rough, and it tested everything.

Many folks think we're headed back to those days, but the contention that it tested everything seems curious.  Those Tom Meeks set-ups were dreadfully boring golf, but it may be the only way to create a stern test given their insistence on doing all those ab crunches.

Many incorrect lessons taken from 2010 at Pebble as well:

MULTIPLE PGA TOUR WINNER: The last time we played there in the Open, they screwed up 17 [which underwent a restoration in 2015]. You had seven guys on Sunday hit the green in regulation. That's unacceptable. I hit a 4-iron one pace on [the green] in line with the pin, and if it hadn't hit the TV tower it would have gone in the water. Explain how I'm supposed to play this hole. Guys had to hit it in the front bunker, miss the green intentionally, and get up and down. That's not golf.

And yet, no one remembers that 1982 final round, when Jack congratulated Monty on winning the U.S. Open... The 14th and 17th greens had shrunk far too much to work at U.S. Open levels of firmness and speed.

The larger point is that, in failing to regulate distance, the governing bodies have created profound issues in how to prepare major championship courses.  There's much of interest as relates to Merion and Shinnecock, of course, but that St. Andrews example is of equal importance.

Folks just love to hammer the USGA on "Protecting Par", which I find a red herring.  There is nothing off-putting in wanting their championship to be the sternest test in golf, it's the "How to get there" that's troubling in this day of 350 yard carries off the tee.

Sad News - We lie our long-term player-caddie partnerships, so this will come as sad news:

The longtime working relationship between Justin Rose and caddie Mark Fulcher has come to an end – at least for the time being. 

Fulcher is taking an indefinite leave from Rose’s side on the bag as he continues to recover from heart surgery earlier this year. 

“After an amazing 11 years with Fooch, our successful run together has finished for now,” Rose posted on Twitter Tuesday as part of a longer message. 

Fulcher has been forced to “focus on his health and well being after the heart procedure earlier this year,” Rose added.

Damn.  Way too much of this in my life these days....

As Woody Once Said... - Half of life is just showing up.  Of course he said that before he became creepy, but let's not focus on that right now.

Shack has had a recurring bit about the abnormally high WD rate from the U.K. U.S. Open qualifier, something that doesn't show our pampered professionals in a good light.  But, hold my beer, it turns out they've got nothing on The Land of the Rising Sun:

Kodai Ichihara, Shugo Imahira and Mikumu Horikawa earned invites to the 2019 U.S.

Open. And they only had to outlast 12 other players. 

The Japanese U.S. Open sectional is routinely one of the smallest qualifiers into the U.S. Open, boasting a field of 30-to-40 competitors. (For context, the Columbus, Oh. sectional has 120 players). Moreover, it's common for many, believing they are out of the running, to drop out after 18 holes during the 36-hole event. 

But the proceedings at Kuwana Country Club were slightly different, in that more than half of the 33-man field failed to finish the tournament.

A number of players walked off mid-way through their second 18, including Satoshi Kodaira and Yuta Ikeda. Jazz Janewattananond, one of the breakout stories of Bethpage Black during the PGA Championship, threw in the towel after an even-par 72. Hiroshi Iwata called it quits after 11 holes of one-under par golf.

Good, the need to be named and shamed....

The Chase To 82 -  This is nothing new to those who read my drivel, but Jack is all over that Snead record:

If Nicklaus was dismissive about the possible feat, it mostly stemmed from how he felt the PGA Tour tallied its tournament wins. He professed to have little idea. 

“I don’t know how you add up tournaments anymore,” Nicklaus said. “Every time I go to some place, winner of 113 tournaments, winner of 110 tournaments, I don’t know how many I won. It depends on how many the Tour is taking away or giving me. 

“They change their mind every year about what they’re going to count. So I don’t know what’s what. No one in the world could know how many tournaments Sam Snead won.”

Which in now way should diminish The Slammer's career, it was simply a different world back then.

At the Tour's website, Laury Livsey writes about how we settled on 82, though I'll first bore you with this fun anecdote:

In his autobiography, “The Education of a Golfer,” Sam Snead recalled a conversation he had one afternoon at Griffith Park, site of the 1937 Los Angeles Open. Snead wrote, “Henry Picard walked up and asked, ‘How are you hitting, Sam? I hear you are bending them halfway to Santa Monica.’” 

Snead, who had been struggling with accuracy off the tee, primarily with a hook, wrote

of his chat with Picard: “I’m so wild I’ve about decided to quit the tour and go home.” Snead then recounted that he hit some drives to show Picard what he meant. The two pros talked about the positioning of Snead’s feet, and then Picard asked to look at Snead’s driver and said, “This stick is too whippy for you. Your hands are too fast for such a light and swingy club. I’ve got an Izett driver in my car that might be the answer for you.”

Picard returned with the George Izett persimmon model. Snead liked what he saw (and felt) and the two made a little transaction – Picard charged Snead $5.50 – and a week later, with the hook under control, Snead won his first big tournament, the Oakland Open, using the stiff-shafted, 14 1/2-ounce club. 

Long after his retirement, Snead reserved a special place for that driver in his Hot Springs, Virginia, home. He never lost sight of how important the club was to him, estimating that three-fourths of all his victories -- official and otherwise -- came with that driver in his bag. Snead would occasionally bring the club out and show it to friends, and he always treated it with reverence.

I don't get it...  Why didn't he just go to Club Champion and get fitted?  Oh right, no Golf Cahnnel back then... This will give you a sense of the arguments involved:

Yet even those additions cause heartburn for some today, with the 1937 tournament an 18-hole affair, the ’38 and ’41 tournaments 36-hole events and the 1950 “Crosby” a 54-hole tournament, declared a tie, with Snead, Jack Burke Jr., Smiley Quick and Dave Douglas. All earned official-victory designations because darkness set in on the final day without a winner emerging, and a next-day playoff was out of the question because of the players’ travel requirements. 

In addition to the four “Crosby” wins, the committee also bestowed official wins on Snead for his 1952 and 1957 Palm Beach Round Robin titles, already crediting him with Round Robin victories in 1938, 1954 and 1955. 

Because of the new standard defined by the panel, though, the committee elected to remove nine tournament titles from Snead’s official-win total, most notably his Greenbrier Invitational victories in 1952, 1953, 1958, 1959 and 1961, the latter two tournaments played at The Greenbrier but renamed the Sam Snead Festival. Also gone from his tally were the 1952 Julius Boros Open, the 1940 Ontario Open, the 1942 Cordoba Open and the 1953 Texas Open, which the record book credited Snead with winning, a tournament actually won by Tony Holguin. That Snead received credit for winning the San Antonio tournament meant the PGA of America and the PGA TOUR essentially perpetuated an error for many years.

It's complicated....Jack is right, he won a boatload of events, but an exact number seems elusive.

Gotta run, but we can pick this up tomorrow.