New Year, SOS

Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual. Yesterday, everybody smoked his last cigar, took his last drink, and swore his last oath. Today, we are a pious and exemplary community. Thirty days from now, we shall have cast our reformation to the winds and gone to cutting our ancient shortcomings considerably shorter than ever. We shall also reflect pleasantly upon how we did the same old thing last year about this time. However, go in, community. New Year's is a harmless annual institution, of no particular use to anybody save as a scapegoat for promiscuous drunks, and friendly calls, and humbug resolutions, and we wish you to enjoy it with a looseness suited to the greatness of the occasion.  MARK TWAIN

Hat-tip to Shackelford for the topical Twain quote, as well as for our first item of the year.

Best Viral Video of 2015 - We might be peaking early in this category, but I was a tad alarmed until I saw that they were appropriate dental products.... 

I do hope they got paid by Phil Knight for the valuable product placement and, pace Shack, Roll Tide!

Brandel, Unplugged - Shack links to Chamblee's year-end wrap column, and we'll lip-sync together an excerpt from each followed by what friend-of-the-blog Al Z, would call a meta-Fisking (and please remember, the decision of the judges is final):

First, let me say that I have lost track of the number of times I have said

Phil Mickelson is a gift to golf - he is. He wins often and plays with a recklessness that is a throwback to Arnold Palmer, and in dealing with crowds and the media he once again gets compared with the King. But what he did in the media center on Sunday night of the Ryder Cup, implying it was Tom Watson’s fault the U.S. lost, was something Arnold Palmer never would've done. It made the American side look even worse, which I didn't think was possible.

Maybe temporarily but in hindsight, it had to be done and Mickelson gets points for taking out the trash.

I'm going to have to side with Brandel on this one, as I think Phil's phorensics look even sillier in the rear-view mirror (how's that task force working out?).  In fact, Golf Channel was replaying that presser in an endless loop and you'll glean all you need from the pained expression on Hunter Mahan's face.

On the tube Brandel had another interesting fact, that a 40-year old Tom Watson was similarly benched by Captain Ray Floyd at the '89 Cup,  It seems logical that Cap'n. Tom would expect his players to react with the same grace that he did...

And then this exchange, with Shack's comments first:

Chamblee goes on to make one more case for Larry Nelson and suggests that the USA struggles may be tied to karma, a theory I wholeheartedly endorse. 

The last thing I am going to say about the Ryder Cup is this: Larry Nelson was promised the captaincy in 1995, didn’t get it and then got stepped over by lesser major winners. What does one typically need to be a Ryder Cup captain? To have won the PGA Championship? Check. He won that twice. How about the national open? Check. How about success in the Ryder Cup? In his first nine matches in the Ryder Cup, he was 9-0. Check. Respect of your peers? Check. For added measure, he served his country on the front lines of battle, willing to put his life on the line for the freedoms we all enjoy. Find those credentials in a player today; go ahead and look. Good luck. Larry Nelson has them all and to those of you who say he's out of touch with today’s players, well, I say to you: How have all those captains who are in touch with today’s players been doing? If there is such a thing as karma for not fulfilling a promise, the PGA of America and U.S. Ryder Cup team are feeling it.

No doubt that Nelson was deserving, and I'd pay good money to see the expression on Phil's face when he was so informed.  But we all know that ship has sailed and it's pretty obvious that the next captain will be of the coddling ilk....Freddie, call your office.

Help Wanted - Looking for a position in the golf industry?  Here's one at a well-known club in Georgia, though the requirements are fairly stringent:

For instance, among its minimum requirements: “Experience in law enforcement management, military, Secret Service, FBI, corporate security or personal protective detail working with high profile individuals preferred; Expertise in the analysis of security threats, risks and vulnerability domestically and internationally.” 

The job is for director of security and safety at Augusta National, and given the club’s high profile generally and the Masters specifically, this would qualify as a big-time job.

Boy, they must draw some rough trade at that place.  Though from the photo it seems the physical requirements are somewhat lax.

Not sure my qualifications match up well with that opening, but here's one that got away:

After an end-of-the-year run through Japan, China, and Australia, Adam Scott has settled on veteran Mike Kerr as his new caddie.

I made the mistake of getting my hopes up... It was nice of Kent to write that referral letter, but did he have to mention the 8-iron that went missing?

Best Blog Comment of 2014 - I've been sitting on this one for a bit, but no time like the present.  One of my long-term hopes for the blog is that the comments section becomes a place for readers to engage in a back-and-forth and of course to take me to task when I might be off-base.  On that latter they'll be wrong, of course, but it's important to have an outlet...

Maggot and Mark W. have been good enough to post on occasion, fro which the UL staff is grateful.  But for those that only frequent the home page I did want to share my favorite comment of the year.  It comes courtesy of reader ce8d632a-647c-11e3-94d3-000bcdcb2996 who had this constructive criticism of one of my typical catchall posts from back in November:

I am an American man, and I have decided to boycott American women. In a nutshell, American women are the most likely to cheat on you, to divorce you, to get fat, to steal half of your money in the divorce courts, don’t know how to cook or clean, don’t want to have children, etc. Therefore, what intelligent man would want to get involved with American women? 

American women are generally immature, selfish, extremely arrogant and self-centered, mentally unstable, irresponsible, and highly unchaste. The behavior of most American women is utterly disgusting, to say the least. 

This blog is my attempt to explain why I feel American women are inferior to foreign women (non-American women), and why American men should boycott American women, and date/marry only foreign (non-American) women. 

BOYCOTT AMERICAN WOMEN!  

Sir, first of all, how exactly do you pronounce that name?   Like you I am also boycotting American women, though in my case it's under specific orders from Employee No. 2.  The major issue with comment threads is that it's hard to keep folks on topic, so like this gentleman I simply ask that you limit your thoughts to the subject of the post.

And sir, could I interest you in a Russian mail order bride?