Grampian Grumblings

Hasn't this week seemed endless?  There's no way to avoid it, except perhaps by spreading the competition over four days as they do at The Presidents Cup, but we're all just filling time for now...

But this may be the silliest piece you'll read this week (or ever) about the Ryder Cup, as John Leicester combines category errors, faulty logic and thuggish jingoism (OK, I made up that last one just because I can).  Here's the premise:

Yet at the Ryder Cup - perhaps only at the Ryder Cup - this potent stew of nationalities, cultures, languages and histories gels fantastically to put real flesh and bones on an idea that otherwise can be a hard sell: that of a united Europe.

Really?  You picture them marching into battle for the greater glory of....Brussels?  Sheesh, let's see how far he takes this:

In Europe, more often than not, it is the other way around: country first, continent second 

- even a distant second or not at all. The whole concept of what it means to be "European" is still a work in progress, hazy, even alien, to many. 

Except, that is, for three days every two years, when European golf fans put nationality aside to rally behind the common cause of beating the Yanks at golf. Thanks, they might say, for helping us defeat Nazi Germany, for everything you did to help build modern Europe, the Marshall plan, staring down the Soviets and whatnot, but now watch our guys sink this birdie. 

Which all makes golf's premier team event politically interesting and, at the same time, also feel somewhat bizarre.

John, if this strikes you as bizarre, perhaps it's because you're trying to link two issues having absolutely nothing in common.  Can you not understand that a Brit or Irishman or Frenchman or Dane has no problem with playing a 3-day team event without that involving ceding national sovereignty to unelected bureaucrats in Brussels.   The more fundamental question is why would you believe they should be linked?

And he just keeps banging this drum, as if sheer repetition produces logic:

Ask around in the crowds and you quickly find people who say they feel little or no love for the European Union but who are decked out in the EU colors of yellow and blue. It's all a bit perplexing.

Repeat after me, it's a golf event that has no significance to or effect on the affairs of state.  I know journalism is in decline, but does the AP have no editors?

Old friend Oliver Brown, he of the "Thuggish Jingoism" comment, still needs to consider mixing in a little decaf into his morning java:

Phil Mickelson has fired the first fusillade of the 40th Ryder Cup with an extraordinary barb at Rory McIlroy and Graeme McDowell, suggesting that their ongoing court case was disrupting European team unity. Asked about the strength of the American team bond, he replied: “Not only do we play together, we also don’t litigate against each other.”

Extraordinary?  Boy Ollie, seems like you don't get out a lot.... is that any more extraordinary than Rory opining that Phil is on the back nine of his career?  Then there's this:

For the past two days the ‘phoney war’ at this Ryder Cup had been relatively calm, but Mickelson’s broadside, depicting McGinley’s Europe as a team divided, is sure to light the fuse.

 Boy Ollie, that's a lot of martial imagery for a continent with no remaining military capabilities, so perhaps we should all remember that it's just a golf event.  If you were actually watching you might have noticed that Phil had a big grin on his face, and this is also the guy who cheered when Justin Rose made that bomb on No. 17 at Medinah.

In other news and notes:

• My vote for funniest line is this from the world No. 1:

Rory McIlroy says he would still be a virgin if it weren't for his golf skills.

 

The World No. 1 joked about his highly-publicized relationships while shooting a television documentary with BBC2, to be shown Thursday in advance of the first round of the 40th Ryder Cup on Friday.

Hmmmm...golf as a way to get laid?  I like that as a Grow-the-Game initiative a heck of a lot more than Foot-golf. 

• Feel-good story of the week is the return of Matt Kuchar's caddie, Lance Bennett.  Actually feel-good isn't quite the right term, but life has to go on and it's good to see him here:

Amid the feverish tribal urgings that will be on show at the Ryder Cup at Gleneagles, a thought needs to be spared for a brave American caddie.

Lance Bennett, who carries the bag for Matt Kuchar, has shown up for work just three weeks after receiving the devastating news that his 39-year-old wife, Angela, had died unexpectedly of natural causes, leaving not just a bereft husband but a four-year-old daughter, Emma.

Feverish tribal urgings?   And this from folks that spend the rest of the year covering soccer....

• Separated at Birth?  Alex Myers had this from Ian Poulter:

Ian Poulter has been Europe's team leader in recent Ryder Cups, not just

because of his ridiculous 12-3 record, but because of the passion with which he plays. So who is the Ian Poulter of the American squad?

Poulter was asked that question Thursday, and he instantly responded: "Keegan Bradley."

That's a pretty obvious answer, and is the obvious reason he's on the team.  And that energy can be really important, but only if the putts are dropping...

• Your Mileage May Vary - Ryan Herrington takes a stab at the five who have the most to gain and lose from the Ryder Cup.  There's nothing too objectionable here, but what I find most interesting is that you could reverse the lists just as easily.

• Hits and Misses, Wardrobe Division - Alex Holmes has an amusing little item on Ryder Cup costumes.  It's just from the last decade, so don't expect to see the infamous 1999 Sunday shirts, but still there's fun to be had as per this composite from 2004:

I wasn't aware that Campmor sells tents in those colors.

• Jim McCabe tries to make something out of this tunnel to the first tee:

It's kind of cool, though the something is that each side has ten players depicted, but that one of the Americans, specifically Hale Irwin, has not been a Ryder Cup Captain.  Scandalous, I tell you...

• All The World's a Gallery - Golf.com loves its galleries, and we've two got a couple for you today.  First up is this gallery of thirteen reasons the U.S. will take back the Cup.  Given how uncompelling the logic, I'd have gone with twelve or fourteen, just to be safe.  This will be more to some folks' taste, the Best Ryder Cup WAGS.  Now that's a competitive event...

We're only a half hour away from tomorrow's fourball pairing, so I'll see you all later.