A Glass Act

The professional staff at Willow Ridge is charged with keeping the members amused, and good luck with that, folks...

When the golf schedule was released in early Spring a new events was included, three Big Break events (one each for the ladies and gents as well as a mixed event).  The concept was clear, ask your average club hacker to break the glass or clear the flop wall in front of a jury of his or her peers with beer in hand, and hilarity will surely ensue.

The ladies held their event in June and by all accounts had a delightful evening.  Theresa was unfortunately unable to attend, but the favorable reviews were unanimous.  But despite that, virtually no one signed up for the subsequent events and they were ultimately cancelled.  I don't quite get it, as free food and drink is typically sufficient to ensure adequate turnout to watch paint dry.

I've been told that they will try again next season, and perhaps with that objective in mind they pulled a little switcheroo on us Sunday.  The Sunday of holiday weekends features our typical mixed tournament, and the last few years that has also included a whacky putting contest.  The pro staff (Tish Certo expecially) create a three-hole putting course on the practice green, including sand traps, out-of-bounds and the like, with qualification taking place before the shotgun.  Then the finalists attempt difficult putts on our ninth green (or sometimes on the 18th) under the lights and in front of a huge, boisterous, alcohol-fueled crowd.

But Sunday was different, as they incorporated the Big Break glass breaking competition.  They did a great job, using plexiglass in lieu of crystal, but even painting the Willow Ridge logo on the panes.  Each participant got three shots in qualifying, and all who broke the pane advanced to the finals.  Good fun, and seven of about sixty were successful at this stage.

I was one of the seven, and at least in my accounting did it twice.  Former client (and former would be the key word here) Kunta Kente ruled that the first shot hit the frame, but are you going to believe your humble

correspondent or Kent's lyin' eyes?  I know, I get no respect...  In any event, completely nonplussed I calmly stepped up and drilled the second through the heart of the willow tree.  Don't believe me, check out the photo at right.

As for my outfit, well that was by directive of the tournament committee... but feel free to express your approval in the comments.  The shoes were an integral component of the outfit, but you'll just have to take my word for it.

I actually thought the finals would be cancelled by the heavy showers that hit towards the end of the main event.  We managed to finish, but many of the groups came in after only sixteen holes.  But the skies cleared and the glass was set up on the back tees of the first hole, right under our newly-expanded deck and mere steps from the bar.

The finals were a time-trial, keep hitting balls until the glass is broken or until the crowd turns hostile.  I strategically hung back to see what might be required, and the early players were cleverly lining up about six balls on the mat.  Clever yes, but that meant the player had to stand on the grass, requiring an adjustment for the height differential.  Of the contenders, the standout was our friend Lorraine Quitman, the only woman to qualify.  Lorraine broke the glass on her second shot, taking only some 6.2 seconds to accomplish the task.

Besides being happy for our friend, Lorraine is recovering from a shoulder injury and has only recently been able to resume her golf.  Good on her, but it was the expression of shock on her face that won over the crowd and makes the subsequent events so tragic.

By the time I dramatically emerged from the crowd, the die was cast.  Drill it on the first shot or go home...or at least back to the bar.  But I have that shot, especially as I've spent time with the aforementioned Tish working on knock-down shots, in the vain hope of avoiding the inevitable rout by the bride in Ireland.  So drill it I did, one and done as the kids say ( or "One-Shot Scott) as our general manager dubbed your humble blogger).

Given our club's Big Break history, there's little doubt of what would come next, the inevitable homage to Big Break Anthony.  That is, indeed, how one breaks glass.  But AC, I'm gonna need that Twitter handle.