Weekend Wrap - Miss Congeniality Edition

Not even sure I'll get to any golf, as I'm old enough to remember when the hate was limited to those taking the bonecutters' money.... Wow, gonna be just a wee bit awkward.

Let's Call The Whole Thing Off - Way back when, Alan Shipnuck, in his recurring mailbag feature, asked a source what Patrick Cantlay was like in these closed-door meetings.  I've been milking that answer ever since, which dubbed the hatless wonder a "terrific penis".  We like a memorable turn of phrase as much as the next guy, although sometimes one just needs to say things in plain English....  

You might have thought that LaCavaGate was dead and buried, but scores are still being settle, though I'm agnostic at best as to the wisdom of this:

The revelations come via a lengthy interview with the Irish Independent’s Paul Kimmage published Sunday. Kimmage has talked previously with McIlroy in such fashion, and in the latest story, he also interviewed Shane Lowry, who was also heavily involved in the skirmishes that embroiled last month’s Ryder Cup.

It’s here, then, where you should click over here to give the full 5,500-plus word story a read (and that’s just part one; next week, a follow-up is coming). Go, go, go. We’ll wait.

That's some amateurish journalism there, providing a link and offering to wait, without warning that, as worthy as the piece might be, it's also quite buried behind a paywall.   But I did want to get that tease in for Part II, because we're pretty bored this time of year.

After recounting the events of that Ryder Cup Saturday, it immediately gets interesting:

He also revealed what angered him to start.

“My relationship with Cantlay is average at best,” McIlroy told Kimmage. “We don’t have a ton in common and see the world quite differently. But when I saw he was getting stick on the 17th and 18th greens, I tried to quieten the crowd for him. And I don’t think Fitz and I were afforded the same opportunity to try and hole those putts to halve the match.”

“I shook Joe’s hand and Patrick’s hand,” McIlroy added. “Those three putts he made on 16, 17 and 18 were fantastic, and under that pressure, to give your team a glimmer of hope going into Sunday was big ba**s. So all respect to him. There was a bit of argy-bargy at the back of the 18th green with Fred Couples and Thomas Bjorn — and that’s fine — but as I’m walking back to the locker room, I can feel this red mist coming over me: ‘No! That wasn’t right.’”

Average?  next thing you know he'll be telling us that Patty is a good dancer and makes all his own clothes....

Perhaps it might have ended there (to our entertainment deficit), except for this guy going off:

Soon after, McIlroy, Lowry and the Europeans reached their team base. In the interview with Kimmage, Lowry and McIlroy revealed that Lowry “started roaring and shouting.”

Is that surprising? No. These things happen, especially in Ryder Cups. But we love to hear stories of fire.

Said Lowry to Kimmage: “I was fuming. Fuming. Completely lost the plot. To be honest, I don’t want to talk about it, because nobody has talked about it.”

Said McIlroy: “I think Shane has spent a lot of time around Peter O’Mahony and some of those Irish rugby boys, because he went on a rant in the locker room that was just unbelievable.”

Said Lowry: “It just came out of me. I can’t even remember what I said — a halftime in the dressing room kind of thing: ‘We’re five points clear. … We’re in the driving seat. … Do what we have to do tomorrow and it’s game over.’ I talked about not just wanting to beat them, but to annihilate them. I wanted to get one back for Paddy [Pádraig Harrington] and beat them by more than they beat us at Whistling Straits. I think it went down pretty well.”

Of course, Shane was at least still sufficiently under control to head this off:

Said McIlroy: “Everyone loved it, he was unreal, but as he was talking, I was getting more and more riled up: ‘That was wrong. I was wronged.’ And as we’re getting up to leave, I’m like, ‘I’m going into their locker room now to sort this out.’ And Shane was like, ‘No, Rory. Bad idea.’”

As for Bones, Rory had this contrition:

So why did Mackay, generally regarded as one of the nicer people in golf, get heat from McIlroy? It had been curious.

In the interview with Kimmage, McIlroy said Mackay was trying to settle things — “but he’s wearing an American top, and I know he’s friends with Joe, and I just tripped. Complete rage.

“I felt bad about it afterwards because Bones’ wife was standing beside him, and I used a lot of swear words. So not my finest moment. Then Shane bundled me into the car.”

Notably, Lowry told Kimmage that they didn’t know a camera had caught the incident — and that they watched it on the car ride.

But there's a reason your humble blogger is amused:

Mackay wasn’t the only member of the American contingent that McIlroy got into it with.

In the interview with Kimmage, McIlroy said Ricky Elliott, Brooks Koepka’s caddie, and Claude Harmon III, Koepka’s swing coach, tried to calm him. No luck.

“But I start having a go at them,“ McIlroy said told Kimmage.

What did McIlroy say?

“‘Joe LaCava used to be a nice guy when he was caddying for Tiger, and now he’s caddying for that d**k, he’s turned into a …’ I still wasn’t in a great headspace.”

Said Lowry: “So I grabbed him: ‘Right! Plunge pool! We’ll go down and chill out.’”

Now you understand the Ira Gershwin-infused header?  You say penis, I say dick, let's call the whole thing off.

This to me is just deliciously schadenfreudalicious, because as much as I instinctively think Patrick Cantlay is a, what's the word for it, a dick, I'm not very high on The Ulsterman these days either.  But it's more than a little ironic that Rory spent the last two years upending the Tour to put more money in Patrick's pocket (a lot more, by the way), and now he's treated to first-hand evidence of Patrick's overly-developed sense of entitlement.

There are more revelations:

In the interview with Kimmage, McIlroy said the European captain walked into the team locker room late, sat down and was quiet. He then looked over at McIlroy.

“And I’m thinking, ‘I could be in trouble here,’” McIlroy told Kimmage. “But he goes, ‘Rory! I f**king loved that!” And all the boys started banging the table. It was brilliant. It had been a really deflating finish, but it galvanized the team.”

Said Lowry: “Jon Rahm said to me: ‘Rory is some teammate, isn’t he? He’s the best.’”

These guys seize on these micro-aggressions and milk them unmercifully....And, where they don't  exist, they invent them.... If you haven't seen The Last Dance, that's pretty much every episode.

And this guy who I guess was actually watching:

At that point, McIlroy said he went to his room. In the interview with Kimmage, McIlroy said he had gotten a text from LaCava, but he didn’t reply.

There were other messages, though.

Woods, whom LaCava once caddied for, had reached out. Multiple times.

“There was also three texts and two missed calls from Tiger, because they’re obviously still close,” McIlroy told Kimmage.

“I sent him a quick message: ‘It will be fine … long day … just want to go to bed.’”

With that Tiger-sighting, you'll know that the Tour Confidential panel couldn't let this one pass:

1. In an interview with Paul Kimmage of the Irish Independent, Rory McIlroy laid out more details surrounding the Ryder Cup dust-up with Joe LaCava and McIlroy’s parking-lot tirade. “Joe LaCava used to be a nice guy when he was caddying for Tiger, and now he’s caddying for that d—,” said McIlroy, referring to Patrick Cantlay, who McIlroy added his relationship with is average at best. What’s your take on McIlroy’s candid remarks, and where does this story go from here?

Nick Dimengo: It’s interesting to see Rory reignite this beef after seemingly moving on and focusing on some little project of his called TGL. For someone elite like him to pull a move like this only adds more drama to an already tense golf scene – and I’m here for it!

Josh Sens: The pearl-clutching take would be to act surprised at McIlroy’s gloves-off bluntness, and to lament the (imaginary) time when golf was more of a ‘gentleman’s game.’ But the better take is: at least Rory’s honest. Inevitably, Cantlay will get asked about it, giving him the chance to spice things up further, but my guess any comments he might serve up would be pretty mild.

Dylan Dethier: One of the things that made this dust-up so interesting is the way Rory and Cantlay represent such a contrast in styles — the way they play, the way they carry themselves, the ways in which they see the world. An oversimplified version of that dichotomy would be that McIlroy follows his heart while Cantlay follows his (capped or uncapped) head. What’s intriguing about this story going forward? Both Cantlay and McIlroy will have a hand in shaping the PGA Tour’s future.

Oh, is that what Patrick is following, or did you confuse it with what he would bare to further his aims, because anything he follows seems to have a dollar sign affixed.

I have two follow-ups, the first of which Dylan hinted at.  Kids, this is your current PGA Tour Player Advisory Council,  Player Directors, and the word to which I'm clinging is "awkward":

I guess Charley and Peter Malnati will be playing peacemaker, but oh to be a fly on the wall....Though it seems that Cantlay's term might be expiring shortly, so we'll see how that plays out.

Secondly, Cantlay is one of the many Tour players that live in Jupiter, FL.  Given the roll-out of the TGL and further given that the franchise based in Jupiter has announced only its captain, a guy who released his looper to go work for the dick, I'd certainly expect him to be on one of the six teams, if not Tiger's..... 

As for the verdict on our Patrick, just one more individual that feels compelled to offer his assessment:

Just reading Rory McIlroy’s less than flattering description of Patrick Cantlay. For what it’s worth my own limited interaction with Cantlay left me thinking the same as Rory 😃

— John Huggan (@johnhuggan) November 12, 2023

Yeah, seems to be an unspoken consensus.....

TGL Bits -  Nothing much here:

2. More TGL news dropped last week, as we found out which team Tiger Woods will play for: his own. Woods will be among the ownership group of the last of the six teams announced, Jupiter Links Golf Club. Anything we can glean, about the league or its future, with Woods taking an ownership stake in his squad?

Sens: I take it as a sign that he either really believes in the concept. Or that he believes his participation is critical to its success. Probably a little bit of both. It’s an entertainment industry fact. More people watch things when Tiger is involved. Imagine if he someday gets good at live banter. He’ll be unstoppable.

Dimengo: Like Sens said, I think it shows his belief in the idea; which makes sense. After all, his name is attached, and it’d almost feel like it would be missing something without Tiger there.

Dethier: It establishes that Tiger Woods’ squad will be playing home games every week. It reminds us that that probably doesn’t mean much — to start with, at least. It reminds us that Jupiter, FL is the international golfing capital of the world.

He's been attached to the endeavor from Day One and is also a part owner, so it didn't tell us anything we didn't already know.

But I had an interesting discussion on the subject with Friend-of-the-Blog Bobby D., who is far more optimistic about its prospects than your humble blogger.  It's not for this morning, but it's triggered further thoughts of my own as to how it will be received, and I'll try to work through those in the coming weeks.

But I've had some further thoughts about the schedule, specifically playing this in Florida on Monday nights during the West Coast Swing.  It seems to this observer just another example of the Tour pursuing its own interests to the detriment of its sponsors.  One assumes that they guys don't want to get on a redeye after holing out on Sunday at the AMEX, Farmers', AT&T, so I assume this can't help but weaken those early season fields, especially since many haven't been "elevated" or "designated."  Sponsors keep showing up, and your humbler blogger keeps questioning why.....

Wither LIV - I've no clue where this all goes over the longer term, but I did note quickly that there was no way LIV wouldn't play a 2024 schedule.  It seemed quite obvious that the deal couldn't be finalized by year-end, and obviously those guys need a place to peg it.

They've rolled out the early part of their schedule, which most notably includes a return to their most successful venue:

LIV Golf announces return to Australia as first part of 2024 schedule release

Loads of fans, a party hole with a DJ, a close team competition down the stretch and Patrick Reed

drinking from a shoe made LIV Golf Adelaide 2023 the upstart circuit’s quintessential event.

Commissioner and CEO Greg Norman and South Australia Premier Peter Malinauskas announced on Friday the league is hoping to rekindle that atmosphere by returning to the Grange Golf Club, April 26-28, 2024. LIV Golf Adelaide is the first event on the 2024 schedule to be announced and will be held the same week as the PGA Tour’s Zurich Classic of New Orleans.

“That’s what LIV should be, in its heart and its DNA, I think that’s what it can be every single week, and will be when people start understanding what the real deal is here,” said DeChambeau of league’s Aussie debut back in April. When it came to fanfare and entertainment, Adelaide was by far LIV’s best event of 2023.

LIV did something very smart here, going to a widely-underserved and golf-mad part of Australia.  In general, their overseas events have been more buzz-worthy and those U.S.-based, but Adelaide was a one-off for sure.

Bob Harig has more on the full schedule:

LIV Golf has yet to announce its 2024 schedule but a few things are coming into focus, although nothing is official. It appears LIV will open at Mayakoba in Mexico Feb. 2-4, then head to Las

Vegas the following week, which is also the week of the Super Bowl … being played in Las Vegas.

The international locations appear set: Mexico, Saudi Arabia, Hong Kong, Australia, Singapore, England, Spain and South Korea.

Events in Saudi Arabia and Hong Kong would be consecutive weeks in early March. Australia and Singapore would be consecutive in late April as they were this year. And South Korea would likely be in September as the final individual event.

Phoenix has long made that weekend work, though Saturday is their Sunday, if you follow my thought.  LIV has to compete with the NFL AND Phoenix, so not sure how they see that playing out.  But perhaps I'm wrong and both of their loyal CW viewers will tune in regardless...

Rory described LIV as being in a sort of limbo, and that seems an apt description.  Their format hasn't broken through, to say the least, and it seems a difficult time for them to solve their field issue.  Although perhaps Patrick might take their call, though I don't think we have that kind of luck.

But changes are afoot, I'm just not sure anyone will notice.  But James Colgan is all over it:

5 changes coming to LIV

1. The play-in tournament

Yes, LIV is landing a play-in tournament. From December 8-10 in Abu Dhabi, golfers will compete in “LIV Golf Promotions,” a 36-hole tournament with a $1.5 million purse and three coveted exemptions into next year’s LIV season.

The tournament won’t do much to fight against the OWGR’s contention that LIV doesn’t have enough opportunities for promotion and relegation, but it will provide some golfers with the opportunity to join the big tour straight off the street.

Oddly, Colgan fails to mention the oddest part of this, which is that Jay is allowing PGA Tour rabbits to play, although we've little insight as to who would actually make the trip.  perhaps the most curious bit is that it's only 36-holes, as if they themselves know how bogus it all is.

2. The re-sign period

At the end of each season, LIV will stratify its players on expiring contracts into three “zones”: The “lock zone,” the “open zone” and the “drop zone.”

You can think of those in the “lock zone” — given only to the league’s top 24 finishers — as restricted free agents. These players are guaranteed a contract extension offer from their current franchise, and can choose whether to re-sign or to reject that offer and enter free agency.

Each year, LIV’s free agency will begin with a negotiation period where members of the “lock zone” are permitted only to speak with their own franchise.

Those who finish 45th and worse find themselves in the “drop zone,” for players who have been relegated from the league. This group is given an automatic bid into the play-in tournament, but is not a guarantee to have any future with LIV.

That Drop Zone we'll call the Matthew Wolff zone, but I'm sure this will knock the Shohei Ohtani free agency off the sports pages...

But wait, it gets even more exciting:

3. Free Agency

After the re-sign period ends, it’s open season for LIV Golf.

Unsigned members of the “lock zone” and members of the “open zone” — who finish from 25-44 — now become unrestricted free agents. These players are free to sign with whichever team they wish.

Notably, these rules leave open the possibility that LIV will sign additional pros from other pro golf tours, like the PGA Tour. Such signings would result in members of the “open zone” losing out on their roster spots in the league.

Should none of those signings happen, however, the only material difference between the “open zone” and the “lock zone” is an assured re-sign bid.

All, I should add, in the service of their team competition which, with the exception of Brooks going medieval on Wolff, was like the tree that fell in the forest.  Really, except for the Range Goats, name three LIV teams!

4. Trades

LIV will now allow in-season trading, opening a window in which teams will be permitted to trade players and negotiate contract extensions.

This window arrives in the wake of Brooks Koepka and teammate Matthew Wolff’s very public falling out during the course of the 2023 season. Under the new rules, Koepka would be able to trade Wolff to a different franchise before the season ended.

5. The draft

It won’t be quite as high-profile as LIV’s franchise-forming draft way back at LIV London 2022, but LIV will now host a draft in which the top-3 finishers in the play-in tournament and the winner of the Asian Tour’s International Series Order of Merit will find themselves plucked by LIV franchises for the season ahead.

Notice what's missing?  Anything anyone cares about...

I'll need to leave you there.  Blogging will be on an as-warranted basis in the near term.  Have a great week.