- The two genuinely hate each other, and;
- It's only twelve holes.
WINNER: Brooks Koepka’s mojo.Let’s start with the basics: Koepka took a businesslike approach to the entire thing and dominatedfrom start to finish. DeChambeau hammed it up and handed out Koepka-themed cupcakes on the first tee. Koepka said basically nothing, went on his way, took the lead at No. 2 and never looked back.Post-round, Phil Mickelson pointed out that it was as much as he could remember seeing Koepka smile. This was a dream scenario for Big Bad Brooks: Lock in, act like this is all pretty “whatever” and then dominate. Although he did acknowledge a couple times just how much he wanted to win.“I’m not gonna lie, I wanted to spank him,” he said. National TV wins count extra. Big dub for Brooks.
By business-like he seems to mean no cupcakes....
LOSER: Bryson DeChambeau’s mojo.You could see the air come out of DeChambeau’s tires as the match went from “Advantage, Koepka” to watching his nemesis close out a blowout victory. That’s the beauty of sports: When you lose, there’s nothing you can say that will redeem the moment. DeChambeau recognized that — “He beat me. I can’t say s—,” he said afterwards — but it still clearly stung. Years of back-and-forth led to this match, which is a risky proposition. Anything can happen over 12 holes! And anything did happen. DeChambeau lost five holes, he tied four holes and he won zero holes. Not how he envisioned things going.
That "I can't say s*** is the only silver lining, I'm just not sure of the relevant statute of limitations.
But you'd be forgiven for thinking there's must bea hostage involved for this 'graph to have been written:
WINNER: The Match, still.Here’s the thing about The Match: It’s imperfect. The pacing can be awkward, sometimes it’s cringeworthy, the matches aren’t always close, the player back-and-forth doesn’t always work and on a basic level it’s tricky to only have two players on the course and base an entire show around it. But despite all of that, it’s entertaining as hell. Even the bad parts are good TV. I found myself glued to the broadcast, not wanting to miss the best exchange or game-changing shot. If they keep coming up with compelling matchups, I’ll keep watching every shot. The Match is a big-time winner, even when it doesn’t seem like it should be.
Compelling match-ups, you say? So you're arguing for Sir Charles and Peyton to be included in future iterations?
Dylan also includes an ode to Phil's predictive abilities which seems, well, strange, considering that Lefty picked Bryson who won exactly <checking notes>, zero holes.
If you think that Dylan's piece should have come with a "Paid Content" warning label, get a load of this howler:
It was quite the laugh riot with bits such as this:
‘So, are we done?’Kind of. That’s the question Barkley asked after DeChambeau conceded Koepka’s putt on the9th, giving Brooks a 5-and-3 win with a couple of challenges, three holes and about an hour of air time remaining.“So are we done?” Barkley asked as the players walked off the 9th green. “Oh, I was getting ready to tell them to crank up the plane so I can get to the Iron Bowl. I was gonna get out of here early y’all!”Turns out Barkley had to stay as the players played on and raised lots of money for charity, but we’re guessing Sir Charles got to the Iron Bowl just fine.
Nothing says laugh riot like your announcer heading for the exit... I know this was a laughfest because all the right people say so.... the only nagging doubt is that I don't actually remember laughing. Mostly what I remember is the four of them talking over each other, which worked the same way my noise cancelling Air Pods do...
2. The fifth edition of The Match was played on the day after Thanksgiving, with Brooks Koepka defeating Bryson DeChambeau, 5 and 3, in the 12-hole event (and announcers Phil Mickelson and Charles Barkley delivering numerous memorable one-liners). What’s one thing this match taught you about each of its two protagonists?
Well, I'd say it was more confirmatory than teachable...
Zak: It was a reminder via the smallest sample size that Bryson’s putting hasn’t been that elite in 2021, as it was in 2020. He missed some very makeable, nearly expected putts. It doesn’t matter,but we might look back on it next year. As for Brooks, maybe we learned that he’d be a ruthless money game opponent? Idk. Didn’t feel like I learned much of anything about either.Sens: Sorry, but I could have learned more from watching reruns of Schoolhouse Rock. Each guy played exactly to his reputation.Piastowski: Major Brooks — or in this case, Match Brooks — is still kicking. This exchange said it all, after Brooks hit a tee shot to within about 6 feet: Bryson: “Where is this on the PGA Tour, man. I mean, you’re playing so, so good right now, my man.” Brooks: “It’s kinda like my major right now, right?” The man — still — gets up — only — for the big ones. As for Bryson, I believe him when he says the iron game is a work in progress. It looked like it.Bastable: Brooks and Bryson may be world-class golfers, but we officially learned on Friday that they’re 24-handicap smack talkers. You knew that element of this match was going to be strained but not until Bryson broke out cupcakes on the first tee did we know to what degree. I will say I’m surprised Brooks cruised. He didn’t play lights out, but he also didn’t play like a guy who hasn’t had a top-10 finish since July. As Nick says, he appears to still be a player who can flip the switch at will.Bamberger: I learned that, like most of us, they’ll do most anything if a payday is in the offing. The whole thing leaves me cold.
Anyone that thought they could carry such an event simply hasn't been watching and listening to date. I'd take them to task for this second question, there there was literally nothing else to talk about in golf this week:
3. In the wake of Koepka’s convincing win, is the Brooks-Bryson feud more likely to heighten or fizzle?Zak: Fizzle. Unless we continue to bring it up and bother them with questions about it. Thankfully, we’re all over it.Sens: That’s a pretty big ‘unless,’ Sean. Plus, there’s some genuine dislike between them. Tensions are bound to flare at some point. Let’s just hope it happens organically, like down the stretch in a major. We don’t need to see them in another Match.Piastowski: It fizzles. It already has been. Twice Brooks noted on the broadcast that he was in awe of Bryson’s play, and I think it’s something like that that will put this feud to bed. Until they’re paired together in the final round of the Masters and Bryson steps in Brooks’ line.Bastable: Fizzle. Please, Lord, fizzle.Bamberger: The whole thing is more burnt than a nine-minute Frosted Pop-Tart. You’re grown men. Act like it.
Isn't the bigger question the arc of their careers, both of which have huge question marks. Brooks shows no signs of being able to stay healthy and Bryson simply didn't play very well for most of 2021.
Like I said, there's literally nothing else to talk about:
4. Each iteration of The Match teaches us something about how it could be refined or modified. What was your biggest takeaway this time around?Zak: That we need them playing a Top 100 golf course. Boy, am I BORED by the courses the Matches have been played on. But I was really enamored by Seminole last summer when TaylorMade held DJ/Rory vs. Rickie/Wolff there. The names and formats are fine. Give me a course to get excited about too.Sens: That the further they stray from traditional match play, the better. The side competitions were much more interesting than any of the holes they played. I also liked that the announcers were able to razz the players mid-stroke. If they’re going to keep concocting these Matches, the larkier, the better. Take a page from Steph Curry and go full Holey Moley reality TV.Piastowski: I’m going to go to my gambling roots here and suggest that players’ real money get involved. Even if at the end of the day it’s given to charity, let’s see some of the heat that we hear about from Tour pros during their cash games.Bastable: Yeah, love that idea, Nick. Players staking their own cash would be great fun — and it’s all Monopoly money, anyway (see Question 1). The more serious these matches become, the less fun they are. No one wants to see guys barely acknowledging one another and grinding over 6-footers. Give us zingers and side action and launch monitors on every shot. Love to some women players in the mix, too. Mel Reid would be great.Bamberger: Kill it. Overexposure killed the cat. It’s not helping professional golf, or these two professional golfers.
Can I get serious here for a sec, folks? I love Sean Zak's answer, though it's naïve to think that Brooks and Bryson would be more interesting on Cypress Point... I mean, it wouldn't hurt.
But the actual takeaway from these spectacles is that they need the amateurs, and by amateurs I, of course, mean they need Charles Barkley playing. Nothing else has been remotely interesting, including Peyton, Brady and Aaron Rodgers.
But, while I know these are silly exhibitions, keep this failure in mind as we read what comes below, because this is closer to the vision for golf's future that Mr. Norman and others are promoting.
i was prepared to move on from this subject, at least until I notice Eamon Lynch chiming in:
Eamon's got no shortage of hot takes. And while I'm most interested in his contention that this was good for the Tour, let's let him vent his spleen on other subjects:
Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka conducted themselves as any two strangers randomlypaired for a Friday game might, piloting separate carts and saying little beyond “Nice putt” and “That’s good.” The last time Vegas witnessed two high-profile men be so taciturn about their common business, Bugsy Siegel and Meyer Lansky were running the Strip.As a result, Phil Mickelson was forced to work overtime in the Don King role of promoter, carnival barker, oddsmaker, antagonist and announcer. He was his typical self, alternating between delightful and insufferable, depending on how “figjammy” he was feeling. All while clad in shades that suggested he was aiming for Tom Cruise’s look in Top Gun, even as he sounded more like Cliff Clavin in Cheers.
The Clavin bit hits home, as I found Phil to be expecially forced this time, which might explain his talking over everyone else.
But, Eamon, that bit about this being good for the Tour?
That… the PGA Tour’s legacy of prim image-maintenance is blunting its product. Tour brass have a low bar when it comes to conduct unbecoming and for months wanted the DeChambeau-Koepka feud to die. In the end, all that was required to kill it was commercialism, just enough for golf fans to suspect (wrongly) that the entire spat was stage-managed. But why did the showdown have to be someone else’s commercial boon? In 2021, eight Tour stops had both DeChambeau and Koepka in the field. Sponsors that have shown the Tour years of loyalty—AT&T or Travelers, say—could have enjoyed the exposure of pairing the bros. The Tour ensured that did not happen. Too many executives in Ponte Vedra will see this as a dodged bullet and not as a missed opportunity.
I don't actually think that the Tour should have paired them, but when does Eamon get to the part that's good for the Ponte Vedra suits?
That… the Tour was only comfortable embracing the feud when its most animated fan base had already moved on, convinced it was manufactured. A DeChambeau-Koepka pairing would have been destined to lack conflict since most rounds on Tour are five hours of silence interrupted by occasional smalltalk about football, fishing or creeping socialism. And that’s only if the players like each other. Yet the Tour chose to let the feud fester rather than risk energizing a boorish spectator element for two days. It hardly needs stating that this is not a fan-forward approach.
That… on a holiday weekend—particularly on a cold, blustery one in many parts of the country— there is an audience for televised golf, even if this one numbered more people hate-watching than usual. Millions of dollars were raised for charity, and the fact that nothing meaningful was at stake (save the egos of two prideful men) did not diminish my gratitude for the distraction, regardless of its ultimate entertainment merits.
That first 'graph seems to undermine his prior argument that they should have been paired, whereas the second seems only to argue that something is better than nothing. But then what to make of this cheap shot coda:
And finally, that… if Mickelson really wants to deliver a golf spectacle on the Vegas Strip with guaranteed fireworks, one based on real grudges and boundless animosity, he should face Billy Walters.
That borders on funny, or it would if Eamon's golf media hadn't pulled down the blackout shades on Billy Walters. But then we'd have to talk about Phil's unpaid gambling debts and insider trading and, do we want to harsh Phil's mellow?
Today In Chutzpah - I've no clue where to start on this continuing saga, but it's not often that Shack reverts to Yiddish, so why not drop in here?
Golf's burgeoning power struggle is set to detonate with the European Tour ready to refuserequests from some of its top players to accept seven-figure appearance fees to play in Saudi Arabia next year.The hardline stance will stun many big names who believed they would be released for the Saudi International after playing in the $5m (£3.7m) event since its inception in 2019 when it was part of the European Tour’s schedule.Players even have multi-year contracts that were signed before the acrimonious split between the sheikhs and Wentworth HQ.But Telegraph Sport understands that the Tour and its chief executive, Keith Pelley, are not willing to compromise and will sanction any member who decides to play regardless. Except, in a calculated move by the Tour, the type and the scale of the punishment will not be revealed to the rebels until after the event.
I'll let Geoff handle the tip-in:
It wasn’t long ago that Europe…DP World Tour Chief Keith Pelley was slobbering all over Saudi Arabia and it’s desire to host golf tournaments, defending the due diligence his Tour did in partnering with people who do awful things to other people on a fairly regular basis, and overall just perplexed anyone would question the decision to partner with the Kingdom even after a journalist was murdered and chopped into pieces.But playing a competing tour? Now the hammer drops!
Sheesh, you chop up one journalist and people just can't move on... But on the larger hypocrisy count, there can't be much of a rebuttal, since that was a Euro Tour event until this year.
But tell me about that hammer, because I didn't expect double-secret probation:
The pros will not even know what they will be risking if they accept the Saudi cheque, some of which will feature numbers well into the millions. The same stringent tactics are thought to have been adopted by the PGA Tour and its commissioner, Jay Monahan.
One has to assume that Pelley and Jay are operating in lockstep, although they may well have differing levers (and inducements available).
But it's this story from Friday, and few days better for burying stories exist than Black Friday, that should have garnered wider notice:
Lee Westwood has taken himself out of the reckoning to be Europe’s next Ryder Cup captain, deciding instead to continue concentrating on his playing career.Westwood, 48, was considered a certainty to succeed Padraig Harrington and assume the reins for the 2023 match in Rome, where Europe will attempt to win back the trophy that they lost by a record scoreline in Wisconsin two months ago.Yet having become the oldest player ever to qualify for a Ryder Cup team by right and having remained in the elite since his extraordinary revival from struggling outside the world’s top 100 in 2018, Westwood understandably still has his eye on individual titles.The Worksop veteran is world No 38, with only six other Europeans above him in the rankings and it is eminently feasible that he could make a record 12th appearance in the Italian capital.
He seems to be saying the right things:
“Of course it is not a decision I’ve taken lightly as it would be a huge honour to captain Europe and it is something I’d love to do one day,” he said. “But it’s almost a full-time job nowadays and that is something I can’t commit to while I’m in the top 50 and still competitive.“The Ryder Cup is very close to my heart and I would only take on the role if I believe I could give it 100 percent. Whoever gets the job for Rome will obviously have my full backing and I’ll continue to do all I can for the Europe cause, as I’ve always tried to since my debut 24 years ago.”
Really? Back at Whistling Straits the consensus was that Lee had played in his last Ryder Cup, so why would he give up a home game?
Yes, why would he pass on a home game? Derek Lawrenson has a thought:
Left unspoken, though, was the subject dominating too many golfing conversations these days — the Saudi question.Westwood is one of a number of high-profile British players in their 40s who have been wooed to join this golf revolution fronted by Greg Norman. How can you be Ryder Cup captain if there’s any chance you might by swayed to join the charismatic Aussie if his proposed global tour ever gets off the ground?‘It would be a no-brainer to join at my age,’ responded Westwood in May, when asked what he would do if offered a contract worth many millions.
Egads, but it gets even weirder:
Is it just because he was a fan of Norman growing up that Westwood will team up alongside Ian Poulter in the Shark Shootout — hosted by Norman — in Florida next month? Long way to go for a fun event two weeks before Christmas, no?As for the captaincy, that is now wide open with Luke Donald, Graeme McDowell, and Henrik Stenson part of the conversation, although the Swede is another being pursued by the Saudis. A decision is expected before the Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship in January.
OK, cue the references to thirty pieces of silver... What's the more curious aspect herein? That Lee Westwood, a man whose middling career is only salvaged by his Ryder Cup exploits, would turn his back on his Euro brethren to cash one large check? Or is it the Saudis thinking they can challenge Jay Monahan once they lure Lee Westwood and Henrik Stenson into the fold?
But is there any other way to interpret Westwood's move? And when do the Saudis land a real player? I mean, above and beyond Jason Kokrak....
I'm going to wrap here and we'll get to the Hero World and other stories as the week unfolds.
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