Late-Week Lethargy

Thanks for allowing me a couple of days off.  A always, we'll cover everything you need to know to keep up your side of the conversation this weekend.

Motown Mishegas - Waiting for a golden age classic golf course to resist scoring?  Sorry, we don't have that on our 2020 Bingo card:

Bryson DeChambeau is hitting the ball farther than nearly every player on the PGA Tour this season. On Thursday, he scored nearly better than every player. Here are three things you should know after the first round of the Rocket Mortgage Classic at Detroit Golf

Doc Redman.

Club in Detroit. 

Doc Redman, Kevin Kisner, Scott Stallings tied at top 

Doc Redman, Kevin Kisner and Scott Stallings all shot 7-under 65s to take a one-shot lead over seven golfers and a two-shot lead over 14 golfers.

All three leaders played better on their second nine.

Redman bogeyed the 10th hole before making birdies on the 11th, 12th, 13th, 15th, 16th, 17th and 18th holes; Kisner had no bogeys and seven birdies, including five on his second nine; and Stallings had eight birdies, but a bogey on the 2nd cost him a chance at the outright lead.

The Beast is a shot back, but will not be in Golf Channel's coverage window today.  But if you think he might be satisfied with that 66, you'd be wrong:

And after posting a 66 in the opening round of the Rocket Mortgage Classic — placing him a shot behind leaders Doc Redman, Scott Stallings and Kevin Kisner —

DeChambeau said he’s not particularly thrilled with his game right now. The barrage of birdies, the drives of 350-plus yards, the consistent rounds in the 60s … it’s all slightly above average in his eyes.

The report card is on its way home and DeChambeau the teacher (and mad scientist) insists that DeChambeau the student is nothing special. 

Yet. 

“Playing the golf that I want to play, if I was to give myself a grade, and I know people are going to say things about this and people are going to chirp and chime in on what they think — oh, he’s playing unbelievable golf — I’d really say it’s B-game right now,” DeChambeau said, after posting seven birdies and an eagle at Detroit Golf Club. “It’s not 100 percent, but it’s not bad, either. I’m still able to get it in, I’m able to score, which is great, but I still have to refine some things.”

This might just be the sine qua non of Bryson's Beast Mode:

Earlier, he said he “ballooned” his shot on No. 13 — to the tune of 351 yards. DeChambeau was trying to reach the front of the hole, about a 370-yard poke, and was miffed that he didn’t hit it exactly the way he wanted.

Dontcha just hate when that happens?

Did you catch this from earlier in the week, in which Bryson is suitably deferential to those that came before?  But, as the old joke goes, business is business:

DeChambeau is second in driving distance this season, averaging more than 320 yards, and he expects that trend to continue on a layout that has plenty of tree-lined fairways but few penalty areas in play.

"I haven't played both sides yet, so seems like it's fairly tight, a lot of rough," DeChambeau said. "I think there's a lot of bunkers that are around like 290 (yards), so hopefully I'll be able to clear those and take those out of play. So, sorry, Mr. Ross, but, you know, it is what it is."

Hey, at least he called him Mr. Ross...And, since I assume you had the same question as I did, the answer is Cam:

This is still the old Tour nonsense of two measure drives each day, though why you'd keep toting it ip that way in the ShotLink era is hard to fathom.

Seems from watching that Bryson is nor blowing it by Champ, though you'll note that those two have separated themselves by a good bit from the chase pack.  But what we've seen is mostly on golf courses seemingly designed to frustrate the bombers... wait until we get to Muirfield Village, built by a bomber for bombers.

Brian Wacker does his best to answer this question:

Here's why scores have been so low during the PGA Tour restart and why the trend will likely continue

Brian first tells us that the reasons for the deeply red numbers vary, then attributes the same soft conditions and short layouts for the three events to date.  But patience is rewarded, as he throws this concept against the wall:

Another, perhaps unexpected, element may have played a role as well: No fans. While large galleries might save some wayward shots from finding trouble, a lack of fans also means few chances for distraction.

“In general, it’s easier to win on the PGA Tour without fans is what I’ve seen the first couple weeks,” Jordan Spieth said. “It’s easier to just be zoned in on pure golf.”

Let me see if I understand this journalism thing... You used Jordan as your expert on low scoring why?  I guess because he's friends with some of the guys that have been going low?  We kid because we love, Jordan.

But it's that first 'graph and its carefully constructed passive language that I love to distraction.  Yup, balls that they hit are kept in play by crowds... nothing to see here.  What is this grandstanding of which you speak?

Lest you think your humble blogger is imagining things, Sean Zak has this item on the ubiquitous Rocket Mortgage signage this week, speculating that guys might be taking dead aim to get those cushy, sweet drops around the greens.

I actually think Brian was on the right track before heading to Jordantown.  The key is that, except for Hartford, they went to hot-weather venues later in the summer than is typical.  Put these guys on short course in soft, windless conditions, and you'll not need too much black for your leaderboards.

The Champ Rule - You know what your humble blogger can do with a segue, so just sit back and admire artist at the top of his game.  Did someone mention Cam Champ?

Cameron Champ was a late addition to the PGA Tour’s Rocket Mortgage Classic field Wednesday night after the tour adjusted its stance on Champ’s negative COVID-19

results.

Champ, 25, had to withdraw from last week’s Travelers Championship after testing positive for coronavirus. However, Champ announced on Saturday that he had three negative COVID-19 tests following his positive result, and that he was asymptomatic. His plight raised the question if his initial result was a possible false positive, and if that was the case, could he return to tour competition immediately.

Initially the tour confirmed to Golf Digest that, out of an abundance of caution, Champ was not allowed to play in the next event, the Rocket Mortgage Classic in Detroit. But after discussions with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the tour has decided Champ does not pose a threat to the rest of the field and has been medically cleared to return to competition.

“It is a great example of everyone being committed to working together to adapt and evolve in this constantly changing environment,” Champ said.

He gets to play, though it's not clear how much of a favor the Tour did him:

Champ will remain subject to testing upon arrival in Detroit. He has been assigned the 2:10 p.m. tee time on Thursday off the 10th tee.

Yeah, as I understand thing, they just added this time, and he played as a single behind the entire field of three-balls.  Geoff had the same reaction:

A single going out after the full field of 156 go off split tees. That’s quite a reward.

Hopefully he brought a book, because one assumes that he'll be waiting on every shot.  He has an 8:55 time today, as does Donnie Trosper (not a name with which I'm familiar), so perhaps he'll at least have one playing partner today.

I'm old enough to remember how, back in the day, the CDC actually sent out testing kits infected with the virus.  Yeah, back in March, which feels like it was several lifetimes ago...  Obviously, the question this triggers is whether it was a false positive.  Champ himself seems inclined towards that explanation, though I'm unclear as to whether that's likely.  The alternative, a healthy young man contracting the virus, which his young, healthy immune system then overwhelms.  

As you know, I've been relatively sanguine about the positive tests we've seen thus far among the players and caddies on both this tour and the Korn Ferry, as the implications are rather limited.  Shack, on the other hand, has been a bit unhinged, quickly calling for the Tour to shot down again over a handful og positive tests from largely asymptomatic cases.  I get that the media wants us to think that anyone that catches the bug will die, but there's no need for us to believe that nonsense...

But Geoff has gone off on another strange riff, in the course of poking fun at the statements released in the name of those players caught up in positive test results.  Getting a laugh out of the MBA-speak drivel emanating from Tour headquarters is always good fun, but he takes up a curious cause in this post:

Four More Players Test COVID-19 Positive And Continue To Thank Tour Protocols But Not Sanford Health

OK, Karen...  But, given that they're being paid for this service, that seems a strange cause for the uber-woke Shack to take on.  Yanno, predatory capitalism and all.  Plus, given the possibility of a false positive, are we sure that they're doing such a bang-up job?

We've gone a few days without any more positive tests, so let's hope these will diminish to a trickle.  

Oh, The Inhumanity - Alternate Title: Sorry, Not Sorry.

Have you been wondering the whereabouts of the artist formerly known as Thunder Bear?  Well, he's back, at least for now, and apparently it's been very hard on the young man:

Former European Ryder Cupper Thorbjorn Olesen has apologized to fans regarding his 2019 charge of sexual assault.

Olsen, 30, is facing charges of sexual assault, being drunk on an aircraft and assault by beating following a 2019 incident. Competing for the first time in 11 months at the Danish PGA Championship, Olesen spoke to reporters following the tournament.

“I am incredibly sad about what has happened and would like to apologize to all the Danes who have supported me for so many years,” Olesen said. “I basically haven't played golf in a year. I played for a week in November in Spain, and then I've been playing for the last couple of weeks—that’s it. “Since I started playing, I’ve never had anything like that where I haven’t played in such a long time. It’s hard."

Forgive me for my fidelity to detail but, to the extent that he's actually apologized, he's clear that he's doing so only to Danish golf fans...  Noted.

But as is so often the case, he's been deliberately vague as to that which he is actually apologetic about.  He's just so sorry that this has happened, passive construction by design, and how the lad has suffered as a result.

As for that something?  Well, it wasn't pretty:

According to the Independent and the Sun, Olesen—a five-time European Tour winner—was arrested for allegedly molesting a woman who was asleep on a flight from Memphis to London following the 2019 WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational. Olesen then argued with other passengers on the flight, according to published reports, causing fellow European Tour pro Ian Poulter, who was also on the plane, to intervene.

But when Poulter fell asleep, Olesen's inappropriate behavior allegedly continued, according to reports, which included yelling at crew members and urinating in an aisle. Police were waiting for Olesen upon the plane's arrival at Heathrow Airport.

I've always loved the role of Poults in this matter, but it was a pretty ugly scene for sure.  But just something bad that happened to the man, no need to assume any responsibility.

I'm assuming that the Euro Tour had to allow him to play while the case remains pending.  Presumption of innocence and all that, but I'm kind of curious as to the penalties that will ensue when the case is resolved.  Poulter's testimony could be good fun, especially as one assumes he won't be especially pleased to be required to testify.  Poults will presumably have a spot in Euro team rooms looking forward (one assumes he has to be in the captaincy rota, no?), so were Thunder Bear to qualify for a future team, it could be deliciously awkward.

Cancel Culture - John Feinstein makes a good argument at quite the odd time:

Why the Ryder Cup must be postponed

Fair enough, though they've already let us know that it will be postponed.  As for the reasons, John has some fine anecdotes but the arguments were all made, and made at a time when the issue was still in doubt.  

Ch-Ch-Changes - Lots of changes in the Auld Grey Toon, the most notable being:

Ambitious plans have emerged which would transform the Royal and Ancient (R&A)

clubhouse overlooking the famous Old Course in St Andrews, yet do little to alter the landscape familiar to golfers and tourists from all over the globe.

The blueprint, which would more than treble the accommodation space in the building, is based on a basement level extension to the north and south that would see excavation below the existing car park area, new facilities connecting into the existing structure and then the parking area reinstated. 

That will not only ensure the golfing facilities can cope with increased demand and the hosting of competitive golf but will allow women members – who currently make use of a locker room around 50 yards away at Forgan House – to access facilities within the clubhouse itself. 

Security concerns have also featured strongly in the R&A’s thinking, with rising bollards to be installed around the area to provide security against terrorist attacks or the risk of runaway vehicles following the Glasgow bin lorry incident six years ago.

Security?  Seriously?  Like many, I was pretty upset when you changed all-square to even, but that seems an overreaction.

Obviously old building present issues in such circumstances, but they should be able to cover this easily from those sweet business interruption insurance proceeds.  Though this seems hard to believe:

The Courier understands relocation and new build options were considered by R&A chiefs but it was felt its location overlooking the first tee and 18th green and its iconic status in the world of golf were too important to discard.

Ya think?  It's only the most famous building in golf...

In other construction news, this sounds positively dreadful:

Owners of the Old Course Hotel in St Andrews have unveiled plans for the luxury pub with views over the 17th, known as the Road Hole.

Drinkers will be able to sit on the 77-seat bar’s terrace and watch some of the world’s greatest golfers in action in the Fife town.

It is hoped that construction will be complete when the Old Course plays host to the 150th Open Championship in 2022.

Of course, they already have a bar overlooking the Road Hole.  It's called the Jigger Inn, and it's the white structure at the left of the photo above.

Of course, that middle 'graph is amusing, because mostly the vista will included the worst players navigating the hardest Par-4 on the planet, though that can be quite amusing.

But here's the part that ensures it will be dreadful:

“The need for the development is to continue to meet the demands for function space and to provide the highest quality of facilities to guests in a five-star hotel.

“The use of glass on the north and north-east elevations is designed to maximise and enhance views across the links and towards the town’s skyline, but also sensitively arranged to avoid overpowering the existing window forms and arrangements.

“The small-scale nature of the extension and the proposal to use like for like materials and finishes to match the existing hotel building is not likely to harm the setting or the historical significance of the St Andrews Links Designed Landscape.”

Glass is the antithesis of "like-for-like materials", but whatever.... It is, to be fair, like-for-like with renaming the Tom Morris Golf Shop, I'll have to give them their due there.

Today in Slideshows - As is typical, Golf Digest over-promises by quite a bit:

The 15 greatest golf nicknames: A definitive ranking

Definitive?  Well, we'll see about that...

They're mostly pretty predictable, though this one I didn't know:

13. Sam Snead: “Nude Knob”

Yeah, “Slammin’ Sammy” is a good nickname, and yeah, this one’s kinda mean, but some of the best and funniest nicknames in sports, like those listed above, cut a little close to the bone. Here’s the explanation, from Byron Nelson: “Several guys used to call him Nude Knob,” Nelson said. “Once that name got around, you never saw Sam anywhere without that hat on.” And here’s a completely gratuitous diss from a 1954 magazine article that also makes the point that Lloyd Mangrum is underappreciated: “Nevertheless, Sammy Sneak, known as Nude Knob, has more hairs left on his head than Mangrum has newspaper rave notices.”

Pretty funny, I must admit.

Here's another I didn't know, though it's been overtaken by the news cycle:

11. Horton Smith: “The Joplin Ghost”

Those two words, put together, would make this list even if I had no idea what they meant. Which, before I looked it up, I didn’t—turns out, Smith played a lot of his golf out of Joplin, Mo., and as near as I can tell, the “ghost” part comes from his sudden appearance on the PGA Tour. Worth noting that two of Smith’s other nicknames I came across, “The Missouri Rover” and “Tall Pine of the Ozarks,” are each good enough to make this list.

Shane, didn't you get the memo?  The mob came for Horton Smith, so please adjust your style-book accordingly:

The PGA of America announced on Thursday that it is renaming its Horton Smith Award, effective immediately.

Smith, a two-time Masters winner and president of the PGA from 1952-’54, was a staunch supporter of the organization’s Caucasian-only clause, which was part of the PGA’s bylaws from 1934-’61.

The award, which honors PGA members for outstanding contributions to professional education, will now be called the PGA Professional Development Award.

“In renaming the Horton Smith Award, the PGA of America is taking ownership of a failed chapter in our history that resulted in excluding many from achieving their dreams of earning the coveted PGA Member badge and advancing the game of golf,” PGA President Suzy Whaley said in a statement. “We need to do all we can to ensure the PGA of America is defined by inclusion. Part of our mission to grow the game is about welcoming all and bringing diversity to the sport.

Suzy, they weren't great to women either, and we all remember how happy you were to stick the shiv into Ted Bishop there in order to enhance your own position.   So, perhaps there were other failed chapters we could discuss as well?

Otherwise, it's mostly Golden Bears, Black Knights and Kings...  The Walrus appears, but no love for Lumpy...

Have a great weekend, and we'll catch up on Monday.