Thursday Threads

OK, my heart isn't really in it, as you'll quickly deduce.  But I'm playing tomorrow morning, so I feel a begrudging sense of obligation...

Is Anyone Here a Marine Biologist? - The sea, she was angry that day....  OK, enough with the Seinfeld references.... Top life coach (yeah, gotta get me one of those) Tony Robbins really wants you to know that he's got a house in Fiji....  This life coach thing apparently pays well.

Shack has the video of the golf balls he hits into the ocean that dissolve into fish food... No word on how they spin off his wedges.

Why Not the Best? - The John Daly thing has been done to death, so if you're gonna go as a professional golfer, you could do worse than the POY:

Funny that it's the kid with the over-sized Polo logo, no?

The kid has game, though, given that Thomas wore this get-up just once (as I recall it).

Anything But That - Where do you thin he's going with this?

Greg Norman unveils the 'Shark Experience'

Gee, what would the full-frontal Shark Experience be?  Maybe gagging with a six-shot lead in the final round of the Masters, three-putting to lose a PGA....  Don't go anywhere, I've got more.

But no, snark aside, this is the revolutionary fourth-quarter announcement of game-changing technology in conjunction with Verizon.....  Are you ready for all assumptions about our game to be tossed asunder?

On Wednesday, the Greg Norman Company announced the launch of "Shark Experience," a new golf technology—a teched-up golf cart—that Norman hopes will revolutionize the on-course experience for golfers. 

Norman's company has partnered with Verizon, Club Car and GPSI, a leader in golf GPS technology to produce golf cart equipped with an HD-touchscreen that streams music, live sports and highlights, premium videos and golf tips from the Shark himself. 

I recently had a chance to test-drive the carts on the course. It marked the first time I had ever teed it up with my own walk-up song (Luke Bryan's "Kick the Dust Up"). I was also able to easily get my yardages while watching highlights and analysis from the weekend's Penn State-Ohio State football game.

 Egads, just what we need out there.

This guy really got the full-frontal experience, with The Shark himself along for the ride:

The best feature of the cart are two speakers whose cones are designed and angled to project sound directly at the center of the bench. The tone is loud and rich, but

diminishes to a point of near inaudibility 40 feet from the cart. Which is a key feature to respect the sacred space of golfers who want only birdsong and babbling creeks. And also to prevent an arguably worse aesthetic crime: the clashing of disparate musical choices within a foursome. 

Being a weekday morning, the only live sports programming available was women’s tennis. It crossed my mind this could serve as a segue to Chris Evert, but Greg and I were getting along too well to bring up ex-wives. I searched using the touch-screen keyboard, though future iterations of the cart will be Bluetooth enabled, allowing control of the screen direct from a phone. The current programming available on Shark Experience is the same as Verizon’s GO90 app. Personally, I’m not the kind of golfer who’ll likely ever watch a TV show while playing, but I could see how PGA Tour coverage or football might really enhance a slow weekend round.

How are the porn channels?  That's about the only thing that would get your humble blogger into one of those carts, especially given the upcharge.

And it just keeps getting worse:

“Potential” is a keyword, as Norman emphasizes that the technology is in an “embryonic stage.” While the rollout version will feature short playing-tip videos, an immature form of Shot Tracer and a way to tip the beverage cart without your wallet, the role of a screen in a golf cart will be limited only by the imaginations of future software developers. Maybe gaming platforms, linked launch monitors and other ideas centered on performance are only a few seasons away.

Embryonic?  Stillborn?  Whatever.....

Playing tips?  Let's not worry about those fuddy-duddy rules at all.... Just a comically bad idea, whose time has no doubt come.

All the News -  The N.Y. Times continues to beclown itself in its long established manner, but this article linked by Shack is curious beyond belief.  Posted on Halloween, here's the header:

What 8 Golfers and Fans Wore to the Presidents Cup

This was like a month ago and hardly moved the needle then.... And that which Rickie and Anirban Lahiri wore was decided by others.  OK, so they found a couple of crazies:

Chuck Garris 

Occupation: Tax attorney 

Age: 65 

Are you into America? 

I am.

Tell me about your outfit. 

We haven’t been to a Presidents Cup, but we’ve gone to Ryder Cups before so I am used to the Europeans really dressing for the occasion. So I started Googling. 

What does one Google? 

I was looking primarily for the shoes, and then I just matched the rest up. I typed in “flag shoes.” They were perfect. 

And how did you choose your shorts? 

I started with the shoes, then got the socks. And these are just white normal shorts. 

Would you wear this when you’re playing golf? 

I might wear the socks. But you have to wear a collared shirt.

Are you into America?  That comes as a shock to those toiling on Eighth Avenue...

But it's the N.Y. Times with it's layers and layers of fact checkers and editors.....  So this is of course at the bottom of the piece:

Correction: November 1, 2017

An earlier version of this article misstated the given name of a participant in the Presidents Cup. He is Mike Weir, not Bob. The article also misstated his role in the tournament. He was a captain's assistant, not a player.

Bob Weir was the lead singer for The Grateful Dead, which is a different thing altogether....  Other than that, Mrs. Lincoln?

Quick Takes - A way to get you out of here sooner:

This is another good take on the Major Series of Putting....Gotta love the buy-in matches.

This wasn't a fair fight, the guy is Chinese for God's sake.

Happy Birthday, Gary! - #Planks4Player

Intriguing new rain gear, though likely not legal.

That explains why you had to adopt - 'My deal was up, and so I'm ball-free:' Bubba announces split with Volvik

The stomach?  OK, maybe even lower - Politico: "Trump finds golf isn't the way to Congress' heart"