Late-Week Lamentations

If I seem a bit distracted, I've got the Senior Open from Royal Porthcawl on the telly and the steady winds are about 30 m.p.h.  Just a wee breeze, lads, though I'm not sure that Sir Nick will be breaking 100.

Happy Birthday - A certain young man turned 24 yesterday, and Mom came up with a new use for the Claret Jug:

Mom, I assume the R&A informed you that it's not dishwasher safe?

Jeff Ritter has 24 amazing things Jordan accomplished before reaching 24, the most amazing being that Jeff could come up with 24.  Oh, you can tell he's stretching the material a bit at times:

12. Also in '15, he became just the sixth player in history to win the Masters and U.S. Open in the same year.

Hey, don't forget the John Deere....  Jordan told us that was just as important.

 And these:

19. He did not finish college, but … he's still attended two very successful spring breaks!

20. His conversations with his golf ball have been immortalized on YouTube.

Don't forget the #Grellerstowel parody Twitter account.

And while Jordan comes from an area rich in golf history, bad Photoshopping is never acceptable:

Don't you have a teenager that can help you with this stuff?

Happy Birthday, kid....  Just don't get cocky!

Hammer, Dropped - Phil's BFF will be away for a while....  Yeah, sort of a vacation, the kind where you get a cot and three hots:

A Las Vegas gambler linked to Phil Mickelson has been sentenced to five years in prison for his federal conviction on insider trading charges. 

William ”Billy” Walters was sentenced Thursday in New York by Judge P. Kevin Castel. Walters smiled after the sentencing, hugged his wife and friends but declined comment.

The 71-year-old owner of auto dealerships, car rental agencies and golf courses was convicted in April in Manhattan federal court of making more than $40 million illegally trading the stock of Dallas-based Dean Foods Co.

The government said Mickelson earned nearly $1 million after Walters told him to buy Dean Foods stock in 2012.

The great unanswered question remains why Phil's debt was unpaid?  Perhaps Robert Mueller might go that direction....

Europe Rising -  headers you don't expect to see for sure, but Alex Miceli informs that it's been the place to be seen recently:

SOUTHPORT, England – The focus of golf during the past 30 days shifted from the dominant PGA Tour to Europe.

Strength of fields, enhanced purses and exceptional golf courses made the summer stretch leading up to the British Open – the French, Irish and Scottish opens – the place to be in professional golf. 

For the first time in seven years, the Official World Golf Ranking points given to those European Tour events outpointed those available on the PGA Tour based on strength of field for the Quicken Loans, Greenbrier and John Deere events in the U.S.

Even Tiger couldn't be bothered showing up at The Quicken, so no surprise there.  As for the "why" of it, Alex offers this:

The Rolex Series, which consists of eight lucrative events offering purses of at least $7 million throughout the European Tour season, has allowed Keith Pelley, the tour’s chief executive officer, to create an environment in which European players want to return home to compete. 

“There's no question Rolex has come in and has allowed us to elevate the tournaments,” Pelley said of the Swiss watchmaker’s sponsorship. “As the title partner of the Rolex Series, they believed in the vision … but what we have invested in the infrastructure to make it a much stronger and a better tournament.”

 I'm not going to argue that increased purses isn't a factor, but they've also hit a home run with the scheduling and venues for the Irish and Scottish Opens.  There was no reason to come early to play Loch Lomond....  Oh, and the French Open just happens to be at the 2018 Ryder Cup venue.

But, well played, Mr. Pelley.

We've Moved On - Please tell me that Dan Rather isn't the narrator:

CBS Sports Network has announced a new four-part documentary seriescalled "Four Sides of the Story," focused on memorable sports moments.

The docuseries will give an in-depth view of Tiger Woods's debut at the Nissan Los Angeles Open in 1992, his first PGA Tour tournament. (Woods missed the 36-hole cut.) The episode will be called "Debut of a Tiger," and will feature Bob Friend, Nissan Los Angeles Open director Greg McLaughlin, sportscaster Jim Hill and Woods's high school coach and teammates.

Anyone know if it's the Bob Friend that pitched for the Pirates?  

In other Tiger news from a galaxy far, far away, watch Harold Varner, III recreate Tiger's fairway bunker shot from the 2000 Canadian Open.   

Travel Dispatches -  The first is a little inside baseball, as everyone who's anybody in the golf world knows Wilma:

Wilma Erskine, secretary/manager of Royal Portrush Golf Club, regularly meets with

R&A officials to discuss preparations for the 2019 British Open. Topics might include infrastructure plans or agronomics, or the design changes recently completed on the club’s Dunluce Links. 

One day last year, Erskine arrived at a meeting with the R&A to discuss monies owed the club. As Erskine tells the story, she walked into the room alone and feigned surprise at being outnumbered. 

“This is not very fair,” she recalls saying. “There are three of you.” 

“But we’re scared of you,” came the reply. 

“But I’m just a little old lady,” Erskine said. 

The irony, of course, is that nobody thinks Wilma Erskine is “just a little old lady” – and that includes Wilma Erskine. 

She acknowledges, somewhat grudgingly, that she’s known around Royal Portrush as “The Boss,” a moniker with which she’s not entirely comfortable.

She's a force of nature, so give it a read.  But the larger story is about Northern Ireland returning to civilized society.... and, also to the Open Rota.  It's a spectacular links, and No. 16 will be a fine finishing hole....  I can't wait until everyone can see it on TV.

We also have this companion piece from Martin Kaufmann, who usually covers the TV coverage....  But he opens with tale from La Resistance:

The sarcasm was evident even before the short visit to Scotland technically had begun.

The young immigration officer at Glasgow airport asked my destination. Turnberry, I replied. 

She eyed me askance. 

“Were you there before the takeover?” she asked. 

The takeover. 

“The Trump takeover,” I said in my most conspiratorial tone. “You make it sound so ominous.” 

“Well,” she said, rolling her eyes, “it kind of is.”

Well, it was a filing property tat he bought one step before Bankruptcy Court, but that's gone down the memory hole....

But this won't fit with the narrative:

Ebert, for example, said Donald Trump immersed himself in the redesign of the golf

courses, prior to and even during his presidential campaign. The two men would spend days on the courses, debating design changes. The Turnberry staff wasn’t used to such activist owners. 

“We knew who the (previous) owners were, but we didn’t get to see the owners, to understand them,” said Ricky Hall, the director of golf the past 16 years. “Nor were they golf people with an understanding of golf and what it takes to create something like that (motioning toward the courses), but then maintain it as well. (The Trumps) understand exactly what it takes and the demands on the quality and consistency.” 

The Ailsa Course reopened last year to widespread praise. Much of the talk has centered on the middle of the routing – holes nine through 11 – which surely rank among the most electrifying stretches of seaside golf ever created. And perhaps that was just a long time coming.

It was always the most beautiful of venues, though the course was a tad over-rated.... I always called it the Pebble Beach of Scotland, too many weak holes for the price tag, but also some of the most exhilarating golf to be found... And while weak finishing holes are endemic to links golf, they're problematic for Open Championships.

A Deep Dive on....Ball Markers - Can we talk?  Because I too caught this bit from Fax:

During the second round of the U.S. Women's Open earlier this month, Fox Sports analyst Brad Faxon brought up a fantastic point. Playing the par-4 5th hole at Trump Bedminster, So Yeon Ryu chipped onto the green and watched her ball slowly track

toward the cup and then ... stop. Her ball rolled into her playing partner's ball mark, hopped into the air and lost its momentum.

"You know what?" Faxon said. "Everybody out there, stop being selfish and marking with your big, favorite casino coin," he said. "Put a penny on the ground. … I can't stand it."

 Josh Berhow uses this in his definitive ranking of 21 ball-markers, including this slander:

11. Poker chip with club/tournament logo

These are slightly better than normal poker chips because they have a golfy flair. But some would argue that these are better suited as paper weights on your office desk. After all, as Fax noted, your partners would appreciate not having to putt around this behemoth. It's all good, though—just be conscious of your partners' lines and no one will get hurt.

I think my quals as an insufferable purist are beyond reproach, but I'd like to offer an alternative viewpoint on this important subject.   I carry both a poker chip and flat, plastic ball markers.  I use the chip when I'm away from anyone else's line, and the others when I'm in the way.

The reason for the poker chip is so that I can see my position from behind the pin without my ball down, which it shouldn't be until it's my turn.  If anyone is putting or chipping remotely closely to my line, I use the flat marker and also ask if they want it moved....

But I also reject the premise that any ball-marker that can be purchase on Amazon could be the second most....whatever.  Because, amusingly, it's billed as the definitive ranking of 21 ball markers, but the criteria isn't specified.

Dispatches From The Grassy Knoll - You know what golf can use?  That's right, more conspiracy theories:

This is certainly more in the realm of reality than the idea that aliens had to do with Jordan Spieth’s crushing quadruple bogey at the 2016 Masters, but nonetheless we’ve got people searching out bizarre scenarios for Rory McIlroy’s misfortune now. 

The British tabloid The Sun is alleging that the lost ball that ended any small hope for McIlroy to win last week’s Open Championship may have been picked up by an unwitting fan. 

Yes, we are in full conspiracy theory mode on McIlroy now.

Not that there's anything wrong with that....

A drive left at Royal Birkdale’s par-5 15th in Sunday’s final round led to a lost ball and a 

The crucial cel from the Zapruder video.

bogey just as McIlroy was making a late charge with an outside chance at victory with the way Jordan Spieth (the eventual champion) was struggling to that point. 

But as The Sun now alleges, that lost ball may not have been lost at all. The tabloid has obtained video it claims is of a fan picking up and pocketing a ball that could be McIlroy’s after his drive at the par-5 15th. 

During the video, you can see McIlroy walk into frame in the outfit he wore Sunday at the Open Championship, and those filming make comments during the video to the effect that this man had just picked up McIlroy’s ball: “That fella just found the golf ball!” and “He’s not told him (McIlroy)! Terrible!”

The lad looks far too young to have been the Lytham member that found Gray Player's ball....  and you thought Wilma was inside baseball! 

Virtual Meets Reality - A fun story from Mike Keiser's project in Wisconsin:

Virtual golf design met the real thing in mid-July at Sand Valley Golf Resort in central Wisconsin. Brian Silvernail, winner of Golf Digest's 2016 Armchair Architect contest,

spent a weekend consulting with golf architect David McLay Kidd on the site of the resort's second 18, Mammoth Dunes, now under construction. Silvernail's winning design, selected last fall by Kidd and resort owner Mike Keiser from among 532 entries, serves as the template for the downhill, drivable par-4 14th hole. 

Silvernail, a 47-year-old Melbourne, Fla. graphic designer who moonlights as a computer golf game architect, got a generous taste of the full experience of building an actual golf hole, from flagging the edges of fairway grassing lines to receiving a crash course in operating both a bulldozer, used to shape fairways and greens, and an excavator, used in carving out bunkers.

Way cool for the guy, and we get to go inside their process with this bit:

Kidd explained how that left-hand alternate fairway had to be considerably truncated in order to handle drainage. Rainwater rushing down the steep fairway has to be efficiently captured and drained, but Mammoth Dunes uses no drainage pipe. "The sand here is 300 feet deep," Kidd said. "If we can get water off the fairway and onto exposed sand, it will quickly drain away." 

So shaper Luis Valera created an enormous wrap-around bunker on the left to catch and absorb all water rushing down the hillside of grass, a bunker that high handicappers would have to carry from the tee in order to reach the lower left fairway. Not ideal, but unavoidable. To provide a more reasonable bailout option, Kidd had Polzerari flatten out the right-hand fairway above the bunker, some 125 yards short of the green. After examining the alterations, Silvernail was okay with them.

Just go read it if you have any interest in how golf courses are created....

Bernhard, Unplugged -  Apparently, the German isn't fond of being called a cheater....and I gte that:

While the USGA has come to Langer's defense, many prominent voices continue to cast

aspersions on Langer (and to a lesser extent, Scott McCarron). Speaking at Royal Porthcawl ahead of this week's Senior Open Championship, the two-time Masters champ sounds fed up with the matter. 

"I personally don't understand it because I'm a man of integrity and the last thing I want to do is break rules and be known as cheating or something," Langer said. "I mean, that's the very last thing I want. 

"What's even stranger is that I have conferred with the USGA rules officials, with the Champions Tour officials, on a regular basis...And then you have a few people that come up on whatever it is, Twitter or somewhere else, and questioning my integrity, which is really hurtful. "

OK, that's all well and good, if he had stopped there....

But Langer said he plans on continue to employ his current stroke, and offered his thoughts on why this vendetta is aimed his way. 

"It's human to be jealous," Langer said. "If I was No. 180 on the Money List, I don't think anybody would be talking about it. But I've been No. 1 the last few years on a regular basis, and now McCarron has a lot of success, as well. We're actually No. 1 and 2 on the Champions Tour. So you're going to have people, you know, being jealous or whatever you want to call it."

Thud!  That's the ticket, Bernie....  Just like the fact, as the old joke has it, that the Germans have never forgiven the Jews for Auschwitz.  

Or maybe, and I'm just spitballin' here, that people are upset that the USGA wrote a rule that's in practical terms unenforceable.

Have a good weekend, all.