Saturday Dystopia

It's a sump pump Saturday, so strap yourselves is....

Dateline: Ponte Vedra Beach - Apparently that guy that shot 55 over in U.S. Open local qualifying got himself a spot in The Players Championship as well....  at least from some of what I saw yesterday...

Let's dive in with a straight game account:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) — As conditions toughened, Louis Oosthuizen and Kyle Stanley played even better. Each posted a 6-under 66 to share the lead at The

Players Championship, making it even more difficult for the top two players in the world to catch them. 

Oosthuizen and his sweet swing were a good fit in any conditions at the TPC Sawgrass, and he managed to play bogey-free and finish with a birdie on the par-5 ninth. Stanley had eight birdies as the wind increased and the firm putting surfaces became crusty. 

They were at 9-under 135, two shots ahead of J.B. Holmes, who fell out of a tie with bogeys on his last two holes for a 69.

Shack with the first bit of 36-hole schadenfreude:

Take Louis Oosthuizen, sporting his UPS logoed collection in the week we found out FedEx renewed only after throwing in a silly last-minute exclusionary provision for players sponsored by competing logistics and shipping companies.

Go Brown!  More on that in a bit....  But of course that takes a back seat to that surly guy lurking in solo fourth:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. -- Vijay Singh enters the weekend in solo fourth just

three shots off the lead at the Players Championship, the flagship event of the PGA Tour.

He is also in the midst of a lawsuit against the Tour. 

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Singh said Friday when asked about the ongoing and contentious legal bout, now dragging into its fifth year, against the organization.

Though the suit extends back to the Tour’s previous commissioner, Tim Finchem, imagine new head boss Jay Monahan having to hand over the tournament’s crystal trophy to Singh on Sunday, just up the street from its headquarters.

Be still my foolish heart....  that would be the Super Bowl of awkward.  What?  Oh, yeah, we already had that in January:

It would be akin to when the NFL’s Roger Goodell gave the Super Bowl and game MVP trophies to Tom Brady this past February in Houston after Goodell had suspended the Patriots quarterback for the first four games of the season over Deflategate.

I'm not really expecting that Veej can keep it going but, if need be, I can summon an alternative metaphor.  Here's what passes for an update on his suit against the Tour:

The suit, which was filed a few days prior to the 2013 Players Championship, claims the Tour was negligent in its handling of Singh’s anti-doping violation and breached its

implied covenant of good faith and fair dealing, which caused harm to the now 54-year-old Fijian’s reputation. 

Last October, Judge Eileen Bransten heard arguments in New York Supreme Court from lawyers on both sides, with attorneys presenting arguments for two motions for summary judgment in the case over Singh’s use of deer-antler spray.

When contacted by Golf Digest, Singh’s lawyer Peter Ginsberg said they were waiting for a ruling on the motions, something that should come relatively soon given how long ago they were filed. 

Should the judge rule in Singh's favor, the case would go to trial, which would mean other players who have run afoul of the Tour's anti-doping policy could be exposed, though Bransten had previously ruled the scope of discovery be limited to those who used deer-antler spray.

Seriously.  Deer antler spray....  Given that limitation, I'm not sure how this will play out.  But any beam of light on the Tour's disciplinary processes is, to my mind, a good thing.

And while I'm never a fan of heckling on the golf course, I was amused by this:

But what got Horschel steamed was when someone among a group of fans near the 17th green yelled “Noonan!” as playing partner Vijay Singh was attempting an 8-foot birdie putt — a pop culture reference to the character in the movie “Caddyshack,” that golfers sometimes yell to try and coax a missed putt.

Billy was outraged, preferring that they do it to him instead, which I can't imagine would be difficult to arrange... When Billy is the calm voice of reason....

Epic Fails?  We had two of note....  the surprise being that only one happened at the expected hole:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. – For the record, Zac Blair liked all four of his irons

Friday at TPC Sawgrass’s famed par-3 17th. 

It just so happens the first three went in the water. 

“It was wild,” Blair said after his round at The Players Championship. “That’s just how it goes sometimes.” 

The 26-year-old continued to forgo the drop zone with each attempt, re-teeing from the full 147 yards in a move reminiscent of Tin Cup. But Blair liked his 8-iron from where he stood, and he figured the angle from the drop zone wasn’t as good.

 For the record, Zac, we liked them as well.... Though color me skeptical here:

“I was totally fine the entire time,” Blair said. “Three of the best swings I put on it all week … The second one was maybe the best swing I made all week, all year.

OK Zac, we might have identified the root cause of your problem...So, who had the honor on No.18?

Blair’s playing partners, Tyrone Van Aswegen and Lake City resident Blayne Barber also found the water on their tee shots, giving the group five water balls and a collective score of 20 on the hole.

Good times.  But Zac's travails pale in comparison to those of Anirban Lahiri, who put on a display of shot-making that belongs in the Saxon Woods D-Flight:

Anirban Lahiri was at even par and poised to make the cut when he approached the 18th tee box Friday during Round 2 of the Players Championship. 

Having made birdie on 16 and par on 17, Lahiri needed bogey on 18 to hit the projected cutline at 1 over. 

He did not make bogey.

 Do tell...What happened to the young man?

Lahiri hooked his first drive way left into the water. Then things got weird as Lahiri hooked two more shots into the water, his chances of making the cut gone in horrific fashion. 

He finally found the fairway on his fourth try and was lying 7 from 125 yards out. He put it on the green and two-putted for his 10, playing the hole 6 over par and finishing 6 over for the tournament. 

Man, that was brutal.

Sometimes the English language is simply inadequate to the task....  These were three of the snarkiest smother hooks you'll ever see, and it's a shock to the system for a tour professional to hit even one such shot.  But three?  In a row?

You might have heard that Spieth missed the cut, and it wasn't particularly close.

Not a great forecast for Saturday, and this seems unwise:

Given the weather forecast, you'd think they'd want to get in as much golf as possible, especially when Shack advise that the pace of play will be.... errr....glacial:

Oh, and your first group out on Saturday? The slowest player in the history of golf, Ben Crane, and recent Twitter retiree Grayson Murray.

What could go wrong?

Sorry, one last item....  It was just a week or so ago that I mentioned that old article in which it was noted that every golfer should make a birdie out of the water...  OK, now I see how one accomplishes that.

Rut Roh -  Everyone wants to be like Tiger, but this is getting very worrisome:

PONTE VEDRA BEACH, Fla. (AP) -- As if the TPC Sawgrass isn't enough of a

challenge, Rory McIlroy is dealing with another dose of back pain at the Players Championship and will have it tested at the end of the week. 

McIlroy already missed four tournaments over seven weeks earlier this year when he felt soreness in his back during the South African Open, where he lost in a playoff, and then was diagnosed with a hairline fracture of his rib. 

After salvaging a 1-under 71 on Friday, he said the pain was in about the same spot. He plans to get an MRI on Monday when he gets to Northern Ireland. 

''It's in the same area as what the injury was at the start of the year,'' McIlroy said. ''If that injury was an 8 or a 9 in terms of pain and soreness and stiffness, this is around a 4 or 5. It might just be a flare-up of what happened previously and I just need to rest for a few days and it might be OK. Hopefully, that's what it shows in the scan next week.''

Compare Rory's current body to the OEM version back at the 2007 Walker Cup:

What ever became of that guy on the left?

They keep telling us that the muscle added from heavy lifting is to prevent injury, and then they keep getting injured.

Exclusivity Blues - Bob Harig dives a bit deeper on the exclusivity provision, talking to two of the most prominent agents.  The Chubster makes the obvious slippery slope argument:

But Chandler acknowledged the perils of putting such a stipulation in place and the fear of it leading to other restrictions. 

"The tour [believes] that FedEx is different because it's [a] much bigger [sponsor] than anybody else,'' Chandler said Thursday at the Players Championship. "You can see BMW having a problem with Mercedes, for example. We had an issue like this in Europe about 15 years ago, and they sort of settled on as long as you didn't have [logos] on headwear. 

"It's a tough one. I see both sides. FedEx is such a big deal, so if they toss in a couple of bits and pieces, you're not going to say no. And FedEx knows it.''

But I'd feel a lot more sanguine if I knew this were the case:

Chandler said he learned a few months ago of the non-compete provision, but "they've been evasive as to what it is really going to be.'' He believes any player endorsing a competing company -- in FedEx's case that would really be UPS and DHL -- who competes in any PGA Tour event would doing so would be ineligible for the FedEx Cup playoffs.

Add the U.S. Postal Service as well (and ShipSticks and Luggage Forward?), but none of us know that to be true.  You've seen the droll commercials, the passive-aggressive work environment and the open floor plan.  FedEx is a shipping and logistics company, and that latter category can be defined quite broadly.

To me this shows the weakness of the Tour in the negotiations, as it's hard to imagine the enforcement mechanism working out well for all involved.  Shack closes his post on the subject with this:

Also fascinating will be the perception of the FedExCup as a sports competition should the provision actually rule a competitor ineligible from participating. Could that further damage how the sports world sees the FedExCup?

But it also feels like a bit of an overreach from the FedEx guys....  They're counting on the competitors steering clear of the sport, which was probably the status quo ante.  Now they're daring someone to contest this provision legally, which will be bad for all if it happens.  

TaylorMade - Another after-action report, but this one way over-promises:

Everything you need to know about the TaylorMade sale (but were afraid to ask)

C'mon kids, there's no stupid questions, only stupid people.

IS THIS SALE GOOD OR BAD FOR TAYLORMADE? 

Let’s first consider why TaylorMade was on the block—its profitability was underperforming the rest of the Adidas Group. One can assume there may be “downsizing” in the short term to get overhead more in line with current sales revenues. Of course, that should get the company moving toward a stronger balance sheet in the medium- to long-term.

The nature of this transaction, both the buyer and the consideration, reflects the weak underlying business being sold.   

DO POTENTIAL SYNERGIES EXIST WITH OTHER KPS BRANDS? 

One exciting thing about this acquisition is the prospect of shared resources. Each brand in the portfolio has its own intellectual property, manufacturing techniques and suppliers. Though it might not be as simple as partnering with a larger sporting goods company (Adidas), there’s room for newfound efficiencies, manufacturing techniques and IP that can help TaylorMade in the future.

No.  Next question.... Seriously, that seems quite the stretch, and it's hard to take seriously without a hint of where in KPS' portfolio such synergies reside.

But let's play a little thought game....  Does TaylorMade look stronger owned by Adidas or by a PE firm?  The question answers itself, no?

WHAT DOES THE SALE MEAN FOR TAYLORMADE’S BUSINESS? 

Since taking over in February 2015, Abeles spearheaded the movement to extend product lifecycles. It’s unknown whether KPS will push for new, different and possibly faster ways to distribute product.

Recently, TaylorMade’s embarked on more direct-to-consumer (DTC) sales through its e-commerce site. Though the majority of holdings within the KPS portfolio don’t sell in this manner, we’d expect TaylorMade to continue (even boost) its commitment to DTC in the future. TaylorMade might also expand into the high-end luxury market segment and compete with companies like PXG and Miura. Custom fitting and usable, built-in technologies are opportunities for growth as well.

Did you learn anything from that answer?  Exactly.

Everyone wants to sell direct, but given that most folks want to hit a club before plopping down $500 for a new driver, one readily sees the issues involved.  

The deal confirms that the TM business is weak, and that Adidas wanted it gone quite badly.