Unplayable Lies: Midweek Mishegoss

The ladies are on the course in Rio, and with that as background music, let's dive in...

The Men, A Reflection - The reviews are in and, spoiler alert, the sporting press has been effusive in their praise. Here's an example:

After seven years of planning, the most important new golf TV show in decades finally

aired: Big Break Rio: Golfers Gone Wild. Golf in the Olympics was vilified, dissed, hyped, politicized and, finally, played. Brazilian sports fans -- mad for soccer and beach volleyball -- came out in droves for the Sunday finale, even though golf plays no role in Rio's sporting culture. More significantly, tens of millions across the world watched on TV as Justin Rose of England won the gold medal, Henrik Stenson of Sweden the silver and Matt Kuchar the bronze.

Even watching on TV -- as I did -- the Olympic golf never felt like an ordinary tournament, or even one of the game's four majors. It was a great many things. The golf duds with next to no corporate emblems. The new course, built for the occasion, which, on TV, looks like a course you would want to play (and got solid reviews from the world's fussiest critics themselves, Tour players). And then the extraordinary notion of playing for an … Olympic medal. For all the flaws of the modern Games -- doping, bribery payments, corrupt judging -- there is still something beautiful and inspiring about it all. Now and forever, those three golfers will be linked to Jesse Owens, Olga Korbut and Mark Spitz. They are part of the continuum.

Yanno, I'm still struggling to understand how folks are experiencing this event, though I'll that Mike Bamberger was not in Rio. See what you think about this bit:

It's hard to think of Kuchar that way, but that's really what he is. Yes, he's a Ryder Cupper and a proven commodity and a good presence. But without a professional major, he's made little impact on the history of the game. He hasn't won on Tour since Houston in 2014, more than two years ago. And he wouldn't have even been in the Olympics field if not for Spieth's withdrawal. But what he did on Sunday at Rio on the bumpy (that's a compliment) Gil Hanse course made more of a mark on the game than anything else he has accomplished.

OK, but doesn't that say more about Kooch than it does about the Olympics? Talk about the soft bigotry of low expectations...

It seems to this observer that the enthusiasm for the competition is fueled in part by relief that it would be a disaster. But now my concern is that in reading their press clippings they'll lose any urgency to change the format.

And of course there's bits like this:

Rose won the gold but dropped two spots in the FedEx Cup points standings because the PGA Tour couldn't take a week off. Shoulda played the Deere Sir Justin!

As for those guys that didn't make the trip, they're in our thoughts, or at least this guy's thoughts:

To: Jordan Spieth

Cc: Jason Day; Rory McIlroy; Dustin Johnson; Adam Scott; Hideki Matsuyama

Bcc: Vijay Singh

Subject: Rio!

Hi guys, sorry for the bulk email. I just wanted to see if you had a chance to watch any of that Rafael Nadal-Juan Martin del Potro tennis match from here at the Olympics. It was pretty thrilling stuff. Those two guys blasted thunderclaps at each other for three crazy sets. Then the third set went into a tiebreaker. Each point was like a novella. The crowd was delirious, practically incoherent with joy. It was incredible.

Anyway I know tennis is not your sport but I was wondering if you happened to see Nadal in that tiebreaker. You know, Nadal is a pretty accomplished guy. Fourteen Grand Slam titles. Nine French Opens in 10 years. Four-time Davis Cup champ.

And there he was in that tiebreaker, grinding with all his heart, playing with

every ounce of emotion in his body, caring so deeply. Why? Because this is the Olympics.

I guess the point is, all due respect, you guys blew it.

For the record, that is the funniest bcc I've ever seen.... Golfweek has a nice roundup of social media posts here, and Allistair Tait reports on Rory being a good sport:

“I did get one from Rory. Absolutely. He said he was very, very proud, and said he was pulling for me. He said he could see how much it meant to me and congratulated me. He was very complimentary. Obviously, he watched.

“He made the point that he really wants golf to succeed as an Olympic sport. He has some opinions that are very personal to him, and that’s fine, but as a whole, he’s very, very much behind golf succeeding in the Olympics.”

But he said he was only going to watch the real sports? He also responded well to this bait, though of course he's the one that ended it.... Now, Rors, what are we doing about that putting?

And while we all enjoyed Kooch sleeping with his bronze medal, you'll be happy to know that he'll also receive a tax bill:

But the Olympics are all about sportsmanship and national pride! we hear you say. Well, they are for the most part, but there are financial benefits as well, starting with the medals themselves. According to CNN Money, a gold medal has a value of about $564 and a silver goes for $305. A bronze is actually deemed to be worth a negligible amount, so good news for Kuchar, he doesn't owe any taxes on the medal itself.

But then there's the prize money. Again, contrary to popular belief, there are monetary prizes at the Olympics, which come in the form of bonuses that are determined by each country. The U.S. falls on the lower end of this scale -- in part because it has to pay out so many athletes -- but Americans still get $25,000 for a gold medal, $15,000 for silver and $10,000 for bronze. So Kuchar will have to pay taxes (probably about $4,000) on his bonus payout.

Do we need to hold a rent party for Kooch?

In this day of overpriced sports memorabilia, see if you're amused by this:

When Justin Rose holed his short birdie putt on the 18th hole to win Olympic gold in

men’s golf, he stood back, celebrated and soaked up the moment.

He also left behind his golf ball.

Arguably the coolest artifact from Sunday’s final day -- besides the 18th hole flag claimed by caddie Mark Fulcher -- sat in the cup. And sat. And sat.

About 45 minutes after the final putt and medal ceremony, a few British lads ventured out onto the 18th green to pose for photos. One of them looked into the cup. That’s when Brazilian photographer Zeca Resendes, also out doing some final photos and soaking up a magical final round, intervened.

“No, no, no!” he said, waving his credential and barking something in Portugese to the effect of, “that belongs to Justin Rose.” Resendes couldn’t believe his eyes but knew that the flagstick had never been put back in the cup.

Sitting there was a Taylor Made ball stamped with Rose’s signature “99.” It could only belong to the first gold medalist in 112 years.

Really funny and a really nice outcome:

Resendes took the ball out of the hole and shared it with is Brazilian golf peers, who decided it was a fitting artifact for the Olympic Golf Course clubhouse. After some debate about whether they should offer Rose the ball back, Brazil’s Henrique Fruet said officials figured Rose would be quite pleased with his gold medal. He was right.

Fruet used his special clubhouse access to ask Rose to sign the ball with the idea of displaying it on site.

Nice. No, seriously.... One last item, which I recommend for those that believe that the Rio golf course will help grow the game in Brazil:

The new course, carved out of natural park in the southwest of Rio de Janeiro, will become a public facility after the Games, a legacy for promoting the sport in Brazil.

Brazilian fans say the main issue, though, will be cost.

The green fees will be set at $80 for Brazilians and between $200 and $250 for tourists, with golfers charged $8-$10 to play a four-hole practice course, says the Brazilian Golf Confederation.

In a country facing economic hardship and a minimum wage equal to $275 a month, even the practice course will be a stretch for many Brazilians. Then there is the pricy equipment.

"Even $8-$10 for a local, that is a lot of money and they could spend that money somewhere else and go to beaches and have even more fun," said 16-year-old Taichi Fukai, a Sao Paulo resident who was roaming the course with his family on Sunday to see the gold medal winner, Justin Rose.

It will be interesting to see what becomes of this golf course.... I'm not an optimist, but I do hope that some enterprising reporter with a travel budget returns in five years to see what's become of it.

The Ladies, Ready For their Close-Up - As noted above, balls are in the air in Rio, and Lexi just missed a 2-footer, so it's just like an LPGA event. Lexi, we kid because we love....

Lydia is charming all, another weekly occurrence:

“If I end up with a gold medal standing on the podium, I’m not sure I’ll ever take it off,”

Ko said Monday ahead of Wednesday’s start of the women’s tournament at the Olympic Golf Course. “It will bruise me a little bit if I was swinging.”

She was kidding, of course, which comes very easy to her. Then again, she’s been, in her words, giddy since she started watching the Olympics last week and definitely since she landed here on Saturday.

“I love my sleep and I don’t know if I’ve ever gotten up at 7 a.m. to watch someone else play,” Ko said about her alarm going off Sunday so she could go to the golf course and watch Team New Zealand’s duo of Danny Lee and Ryan Fox in the final round of the men’s tournament.

Have I mentioned that I like her?

I was pleased to learn that Inbee Park is able to play, but Shack suggests that we savor the moment:

It’s no secret Inbee Park is thinking about a new career as a mother. The South Korean legend has battled back to reach Rio this week after an injury-ravaged season. Her future is so cloudy that the Olympics may be her final event on a big stage.

“I'd like to have a family soon and that's probably my priority maybe the next couple years,” she said. “But I really don't know what's going to happen if I have a baby or after I have a family, whether I'm going to come back or not comeback. I'm just in between how to plan the rest of my career.”

She's had a miserable time of it recently, so let's just be happy that she's here for this week.

Alex Myers files seven things to know about the women's competition, though if you've found your way here I suspect there won't be anything new. Bob Harig profiles the American women as well:

"This is an extremely important week for us," said Stacy Lewis, one of three Americans

in the 60-player field that begins play at the Olympic Golf Course on Wednesday. "I think Mike Whan did a really good job of moving our schedule around so we don't play any tournaments around the Olympics. I think that leadership from the top shows that this is an important week for us.

"This is a great stage for us to play golf on, for the world to see us play more than they do. All of the best players in the world are here -- nobody really dropped out. Everyone is here to compete. I think it's so cool. I grew up probably watching the Olympics more than I watched golf. To be here and be a part of this is a big deal."

Well, they're all important for Stacy these days, since she hasn't won anything since the Carter administration. Stacy, we kid because we love....

Our tweaking aside, the stage is far more important for the ladies, so let's hope they can deliver a good show.

Udder Stuff: When last we visited the hero of this item, he was frantically searching for the real murderer of Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman. I hope this doesn't impede that search:

Robert Allenby was arrested at an Illinois casino shortly after missing the cut at the John Deere Classic.

According to a WQAD report, Allenby was arrested around 2:30 a.m. Saturday outside Jumer's Casino in Rock Island, Ill. He was booked into the Rock Island County Jail shortly after 4 a.m. and was reportedly charged with disorderly conduct and criminal trespassing. According to the arrest report, Allenby's bond was set at $1,500.

What? Robert Allenby missed a cut? Talk about your man-bites-dog stories....

I might pop for the $1,5000 just to ensure a steady stream of content. Did I miss the release of another sequel to Taken? I have more, but let's just take this stroll down memory lane:

Good Times.

How Long Is Her Term? - The U.S. Senior Open got lost in the shuffle this year, I mean even more so than usual. A shame, if only because a look in on Scioto, home to two famous Jacks, is well worth our time.

Making matters worse, weather pushed to conclusion until Monday, and it was won by relative unknown Gene Sauers.... I know, but it reminds us of how lucky they got in Rio, given their depleted field. Sauers is actually a great story, and I'll just kick you to Bill Fields for the background on that.

But right below Allenby on the list of gifts to bloggers comes the irrepressible Diana Murphy, who has single-handedly made USGA awards ceremonies appointment TV. Here's Geoff's take:

Apparently Gene Sauers only got the partial Diana Murphy treatment upon winning the U.S. Senior Open, as she nailed his poentially botchable name and yet somehow mispronounced the trophy name, which memorializes one of the top three most revered USGA champions.

This is great news, as this week's U.S. Amateur takes on even greater meaning. Will Murphy be the first USGA President to win the Grand Slam (Of Trophy Ceremony Butchering) after less-than-subtle mishaps at the U.S. Open, U.S. Women's Open and U.S. Senior Open.

The reference is to the Frances Ouimet trophy, yanno, The Greatest Game Ever Played. Here's one helpful tweet: