Tuesday Tidbits

On this Tuesday morning I find myself immune to the effects of caffeine and exhibiting the attention span of a mollusk, so carpe diem.

Slow Burn - Curmudgeonly John Huggan takes on the R&A summit on slow play and finds it wanting:

Slow play is golf’s equivalent of the weather; everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. Until now, at least. Following the results of a worldwide survey that attracted more than 56,000 responses from 127 countries, the game’s ruling body outside the United States and Mexico, the R&A, last week hosted the “Time for Golf” conference in St. Andrews.

I thought not that analogy as well, though the addiction-industrial complex has taught us that the first step in curing a problem is to admit that you have one.  But in the "Not just a River in Egypt" files is this:

Unbelievably, only once during the two-day conference in the Home of Golf was there any mention of excessive green speeds as an aspect of the game that adds, according to a Danish Golf Union study, “ten minutes to every round for every foot over nine on the Stimpmeter.” And never was the absurd distances leading players hit the modern ball -- and in turn the ever longer walks from greens to distant back tees -- cited as an obviously detrimental factor in pace of play.

Nothing to see here...Look, a squirrel....  

Lorne Rubenstein, who I had believed retired from writing about our game, takes an interesting existential stroll through the issues:

But give the R&A marks for getting various people and organizations together to discuss the matter, and, in the process, enjoy some fine claret. As the PGA master pro Denis Pugh tweeted from the conference, “Most enjoyable evening at R&A. Food, wine, and company first class.” Pugh is an advocate of faster play, and his experience informs him that golfers are more successful when, as Gene Sarazen once wrote, they “miss ‘em quick.”

If so many golfers, and not only those in St. Andrews this week, believe slow play is a scourge, well, why don’t they play faster? Are they as bothered by slow play as much as we suppose? Or, is this a case of leading the witness, as in posing multiple-choice responses to a question: “What is hurting golf most? (a) cost (b) slow play, (c) difficulty, and so on.

There's a lot to unpack there, but the importance of the claret cannot be overestimated... Lorne has some good anecdotes, including one that I've threatened but never followed through on, bringing a book with him.  To be fair, it was a collection of short stories.... How can you not love a guy that makes his playing partners let seven groups play through?

Shack opines that the issue is devolving into a U.S. vs. Europe cage match:

But as I wrote in Golf World, this is also setting up a battle between Team Europe (R&A/European Tour) and Team USA (PGA Tour/USGA), where Europe is signaling a willingness to crack down and even embarrass some slow pokes. Of course, that is a notion offensive to PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem, who has discouraged the administration of rules in place to deal with slow play. Reason #459 he needs to retire.

Geoff, my counts is at 642, but that's not important now.... I'll add this as well from a Tour Confidential question about new USGA Prez Diana Murphy:

MOHLER: This is a big deal for the USGA, an organization not exactly known for innovation. Murphy is more of a business mind than a golf mind and has likely been appointed to help manage the USGA’s cash flow that drastically increased with the Fox deal. I’d like to see Murphy tackle slow play, an issue that’s plaguing all levels of the game and that has been recently addressed by new European Tour CEO Keith Pelley. That seems like a job more for whoever succeeds Mike Davis as the USGA’s next executive director.

Both Geoff and Brendon Mohler are way ahead of the facts on the ground.  Where the latter gives credit for "addressing", I see Kelley as having done nothing beyond paying lip service to the issue.  

And until penalty strokes are assessed, it's all talk... 

Not Just a Money Grab - Shack devotes this week's Forward Press column to Tiger's money-grab Hero World Challenge.  His appropriate focus is that it's more than just easy money:

Nothing says red flag like easy World Ranking points parked neatly off shore. When the Hero World Challenge resurfaces at its third venue in three years, it wheels out another incredible field looking to feast on the easy money and even easier algorithm for boosting points.

A field that good is noteworthy any year. But heading into 2016, when scheduling will become a tiresome subject and players should already be shedding starts, it should raise all sorts of red flags. However, since the Hero World Challenge added World Ranking points in 2009, the event has enjoyed stellar fields despite landing at a time of year when rest is a priority or when some stars go home to play in their native countries of South Africa or Australia.

The easy points are meaningful even for top-10 types thanks to the looming Olympic Games, and those precious points prove especially meaningful to those looking to stay in golf's most elite club for financial and access perks: the World Top 50.

I don't waste a lot of energy ranting about the OWGR nonsense, because I don't expect any algorithm to work in all circumstances.  It usually comes up in connection with the top ranking, and my thesis is that if you need to calculate who's No. 1, then nobody is.

But world ranking points should not be awarded for an event with an 18-player field.  Period.  Full stop.

Fun With Old Pictures - Alex Myers posts this wonderful video of Australian Open champion Matt Jones meeting his idol, Le Shark:

"I've watched the Australian Open many years growing up -- watching (Greg) Norman especially because he was my idol," Jones said after. "Just to have my name on that trophy with Norman, it's something I'll never forget." 

We assume Jones will never forget the first time he met The Shark, either. And thanks to 7 News Sydney, there's video of it. Take a gander to see an adorable six-year-old Jones, who had recently made his first hole-in-one, getting to meet and play with his idol --

I'm incapable of embedding the video, so you'll have to click through.  But, as Alex notes, often the best part of old photos and video are the details buried within.  See if you pick up on what has Alex and I giggling:

Any guesses?  Anyone?  Bueller?

That would be a much younger Stevie Williams with a first-class, 1980's vintage porn 'stache.  Wasn't that a time...

I'm out of energy and can't top that last item in any event, so you'll just have to soldier on from here without me.