Morning Mishegoss

For non-New Yorkers and non-MOT's*, you'll just have to look it up...

Lots of nonsense breaking golf news to sort through.  I know you've come to depend upon me to separate the wheat from the chaff.  However, given that my people were historically the money lenders, it's actually quite surprising that I can spell chaff.  But that's not important now.

• The Irish Golf Desk informs us that the Donald is close to a deal to purchase Doonbeg, the five-star resort and Greg Norman-designed links, for an estimated 15 million Euros (Al, how to I make the Euro sign?).  Doonbeg has been in receivership for some time, and writer Brian Keough sounds the alarm for local Co. Clare residents:

Given the problems the people of Aberdeen have had with Trump International Golf Links, some will be worried about the arrival of the most famous combover in golf.

I have simpler concerns, merely hoping that the wind is up when he does his site inspection:

The Donald visiting his mother's place of birth, the Isle of Lewis, in Scotland.  I'll leave it to others to characterize the 'do.

• Which Foot Would You Like the Bullet in:  Shackelford has an item at each of his blog and Golf Digest's Local Knowledge blog concerning the trend towards denying practice round access to PGA Tour events, including this week's Los Angeles Northern Trust Open.  The reason?  Are you sitting down?

The reasons, according to PGA Tour Executive VP Ty Votaw, are financial. Citing "cost-benefit analysis" work done by the tour, Votaw said the expense of busing fans to the course "exceeds the revenue they produce," ultimately meaning "fewer dollars for charity." Votaw also cited the reprieve this gives to volunteers, requiring one less day they have to work. 

These events would be so much easier to run if it weren't for those huddled masses of humanity.    Major unforced error, as practice rounds offer far greater access to the fans and a far different experience than tournament rounds. 

• Be Still My Foolish Heart:  Rex Hoggard at Golf Channel informs us that the parties made final arguments on February 3rd in the Tour's motion to deny Singh discovery.  We discussed this lawsuit extensively here (still my favorite post title), and all I can do at this point is to hope that the judge lets the sunlight in.

But, what to make of this graph?

Bransten (the judge) heard final arguments from both sides regarding the circuit’s move to deny Singh’s legal team a number of discovery requests and may have eluded to the court’s pending decision on whether to grant the Tour’s motion to dismiss the lawsuit, which stemmed from Singh’s dust up with the Tour’s performance-enhancing drug program last year.

Al Z., call your office.   My highlight above, but it appears that your humble blogger is being held to a higher standard than a man who actually gets paid for this drivel.  I'm just sayin'...

• Zeros, Indeed: In his weekly Heroes and Zeros feature, Alan Shipnuck takes down everyone from Chris "Ground Control to David Toms" Berman to D.A. Points for his bone-headed DQ.  Unfortunately for Alan, the degree of difficulty score for Berman is asymptotically approaching zero, so no podium for you.  But I did like this one:

3. Blake Mycoskie. The founder of TOMS Shoes, which famously donates a pair of shoes to charity for every pair purchased, was playing off an 11 and nearly stole the Pebble pro-am with a score of -30, even as his pro Rory Sabbatini shot one over par for the week. Had Mycoskie won would a duplicate trophy have been given to a sandbagging kid in a Third World country?

He also gives Jordan Spieth a zero, which seems a tad harsh.  It's true that Spieth has to date been better at getting himself in position than in closing the deal, but isn't that typical of rising talent?  And don't we applaud when players come back from adversity, as Jordan did with his final round 67?  Upon further review in the booth, the decision on the field is confirmed and Jordan gets to keep his official Unplayable Lies kudo.  

• GIFapalooza:  When we find a fan favorite here at UL, we milk it to death give the people what they want.  Fresh off the popular Stadler family GIF, give a look to this Woods family GIF courtesy of Luke Kerr-Dineen:

Kinda freaky, no? But who else was she going to mimic?

•  Do It for the Children:  The delightfully droll John Garrity checks in early with his monthly post (John, we kid because we love) and continues to have Ailsa Craig on his mind.  Snowbound in Kansas City, John proposes a selfless crowd funding opportunity to save Ailsa Craig, the beautiful yet useless (sorry curlers) clump of clay (Ed.: technically microgranite) off the coast of Turnberry.  We discussed this exciting real estate opportunity here, but somehow no offers have materialized from Unplayable Lies Nation.  Go figure...

John has given this substantial thought, likely more of a commentary on Kansas City winters than anything else.  Let me allow John to lure you in with his thought process:

My first impulse, upon reading this, was to simply write a check for $2.4 million, take possession of the island and begin a thorough rehab of its iconic profile. But my very wise wife pointed out that this is the sort of stunt that one-percenters like myself are given to, and my generosity might be misconstrued. So I have decided instead to grant the privilege of preserving third-ranked Turnberry’s view to my readers — a.k.a. “The American golfer.” Send me your donations, large or small, and I will hold them in an interest-bearing account until we meet the $2.4 million asking price. I will then purchase the island on behalf of the Top 50 Charitable Trust, assuming the purely honorific title of “first Marquess of Catch Basin” along with the necessary powers of attorney to carry out the restoration.

To the casual observer, the island seems to have no economic value.  John, however, is the kind of man who thinks of things that aren't and wonders why not:

By “restoration,” of course, I mean restoration of the island to its pre-Sochi profile, which will require the repatriation of some two thousand tons of microgranite. I expect the five-star Turnberry Resort to underwrite this aspect of the project, it being in that Open Championship venue’s interest to preserve one of golf’s most iconic views. But if Turnberry or the R&A should fail to step up, we can follow the example of London Bridge, which was dismantled in 1967 and moved to Lake Havasu City, Ariz., as part of a real-estate deal. My personal choice would be to dismantle Ailsa Craig and reassemble it in the Flint Hills of Kansas, just west of fourth-ranked Prairie Dunes Country Club. This would be good for two reasons. 1) Prairie Dunes, with its view enhanced, would pass Turnberry in the ranking. (I love both courses, but hey, I live in Kansas City.) 2) There are very few Olympic curlers in Kansas.

I, of course, had my checkbook out, but then noticed this:

Please make your checks payable to John Garrity.

•  Everything Old is New:  Via Shack, comes this Jamie Kennedy piece on the reintroduction of the iconic Wilson 8802 putter.  

I associate the 8802 with Ben Crenshaw, who employed it in his salad days to great success.  But it was originally associated with a different household name:

The original shape was designed and inspired by Arnold Palmer, who was a Wilson player in the early 1960s. When he left the company in 1963, Wilson removed the "Designed By Arnold Palmer" inscription on the sole and replaced it with Wilson 8802, referencing the catalog number of the putter. The 8802 shape and styling has remained largely unchanged for the 50 years since.

I couldn't be expected to know that, since I was still a wee lad.

• (Non) Reader Mailbag:  I don't actually know whether golf buddy Colin King reads or is even aware of this blog, but he e-mails this morning with the taunting subject line "Just to Create a Little Ill-Will" that he will be playing Seminole next Tuesday.  Thank you Mr. King for proof of the absence of an all-seeing and benevolent deity.  I have requested demanded a full report from Mr. King for the benefit of my readers, as Seminole is in my Top 5 gets for the simple reason that I'm dying to see how one makes South Florida golf interesting.

As for Mr. King's host and playing partners, I have three simple words of advice.  Cash. In. Advance.  'Nuff said?

* Members of the Tribe