Flotsam and Jetsam - Lazy Saturday Morning Edition (Updated)

It's a lethargic morning in New York, so no excuses for not teeing up some items for my vast readership.  I'll note for the record that Canyons Resort has had 10" of fresh snow since I left town after skiing a rock hard mountain for five days, but I'm not bitter.

• Wow! - Scotsman Stephen Gallacher grabbed the 54-hole lead at the Appearance Fee Open Omega Dubai Desert Classic, with sterling third round 63, featuring a back nine 28.  Oh, and did I mention that the back nine is a Par 37?  Of course he played the three Par 5's well (4 under), but that lone par on No. 14 must have stung.  We all know that These Guys are Good™, but sometimes the definitive proof of that is how good the guys are that aren't, you know, all that good. 

• When Bad Things Happen to Good Golfers - The Yang to Gallacher's Yin was Keegan Bradley, who parlayed a completely unfair bounce off a cart path out of bounds into a 41-39-80 MC-TS*.  Mind you, it wasn't just the snowman on No. 3, as he had more bogeys (8) than pars (7), so we can conclude that These Guys are Good™, except when they're not.

This is an example of what Theresa calls Keegan's signature stink-eye.  Surprisingly, I didn't notice one directed at the offending cart path, though who could have blamed him?

• You Heard it Here First, Not - American Brooks Koepka rode a second round 65 into solo second after 36 holes, and a third round pairing with Rory.  He struggled a bit on Saturday, but held it together sufficiently (a 2-under 70) to keep him T3 and in the penultimate group on Sunday.  I note this because in my as yet unpublished 2014 Preview post, I touted Koepka and Frenchman Victor Dubuisson as my break-out players of the year.  

• Being Freddie - Freddie, what were you thinking?  First he takes the appearance fee bait and travels, bad back and all, to Dubai.  Then he birdies that last two holes on Friday to make the cut on the number, and render his Super Bowl tickets (a Seattle native, he's waited a long time for his Seahawks to have a chance) a charitable contribution.  Reminds me of the last time the Super Bowl was in Phoenix.  Phil was in the hunt in the Phoenix Open and couldn't make the kick-off, so he gave his ducats to some guy lining the fairway.  

• Really? - Theresa and I caught this item on the local news last night, and it's a head-scratcher. For those clickophobes (I'm speaking to you, Glenn), apparently two packages of Kerrygold butter were found with razor blades in them.   My love of Kerrygold is of record here, and they'll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.  But what is the point of putting razor blades in a stick of butter?  Not like anyone would pick it up and take a bite, so one has to conclude that the perp wanted to extract revenge on the brand or store without actual bloodshed.

• Two Words Rarely Used Together - I missed this Gary Van Sickle piece on RippedLinks, an ill conceived attempt to marry golf and extreme sports.  One can only shake one's head and ask why?  I get the allure of hopping on a zipline after hitting your tee shot, but how exactly does that work on the uphill holes?

• Golf Fail - Shackelford seems to be having an even lazier Saturday than your humble blogger, though his one item posted was this greatest hits video:

                                   

* Trunk Slammer.

UPDATE:  Proofreader to the Stars Al Z. notes that my Kerrygold item above, specifically the discussion of the perp's motives, errs in neglecting the prevalence of deep fried butter, and provides this supporting link. We here at Unplayable Lies strive for comprehensive accuracy, as evidence by this prompt correction. However, it would seem that the frequency of deep fried butter consumption in Holmdel, NJ, as well as the desecration involved in deep frying Kerrygold, both argue against his scenario.