Monday, March 9, 2015

Weekend Wrap, in which Holmes and Watson Lose the Plot

When it comes to golf predictions, most of us are safely below the Mendoza line... 

Yesterday I was mid-post when Employee No. 2 summoned me to a snow-shoeing outing on our former golf course (I use former because the depth of the snow is such that we shan't see it again until mid-June) with friends (one human, the other a Labrador-American).  I had intended to close the post with this excerpt from Rex Hoggard's 54-hole Doral game story:
Public service reminder: daylight saving time begins on Sunday. You know the drill –
spring forward, fall back. 
We offer this unsolicited advice only for the sake of J.B. Holmes, because at the rate the bomber is going at the WGC-Cadillac Championship it may be the only thing that could keep him from his first WGC win.
My intentions were to gently chide Rex that we've all seen this movie too often to think it was over, especially on a golf course with water in play on nineteen holes.  Shack, alluding to the leader's whining about the course, had this that should have had the theme music from Jaws in the background:
Beware though, the Golf Gods tend to punish course complaining when in the lead!
 I love the Defender of the Faith play, I just think that it's cruel to throw that out there without citations...  Did the Shark dis Dr. Mackenzie on a certain Saturday evening in 1996?

But Shack is chirping up a storm today, and who can really blame him?  
I believe I mentioned that J.B. Holmes ripping the course he was leading on is just the kind of thing our friends upstairs notice (a.k.a. the Golf Gods). And Bubba Watson griping about how he can't play a course after a 69? Noted upstairs. 
Oh sure, Dustin Johnson didn't three putt all week (!!!) on frighteningly fast greens and you say that's why he won. But we know better. The Golf Gods have always been architecture buffs. When players complain about the course they are shooting low scores on, they place a few calls!
A well-deserved victory lap for sure, and we'll even ignore the mission creep that included Bubba post hoc (the original comment clearly referenced only J.B.).  From the game story:
The six-month break from the game raised more questions about Dustin Johnson's personal life than his golf. He said it gave him time to work on a little of each, and he delivered answers to both Sunday at the Cadillac Championship. 
Johnson made up a five-shot deficit on J.B. Holmes and had a one-shot lead as he stood on the 18th tee at Trump National Doral, among the most daunting shots in golf. He produced his best drive all week, a monster shot that cleared the corner of the water and sent him to a routine par and a victory that never felt better.

He's played extremely well since he returned, except for the two days at the Honda which we'll just consider his Spring Training....Bob Harig anoints our DJ a/the Masters favorite and had this seeming candor from the winner:
"I would drink and drink to access,'' Johnson said in the ESPN interview. "The change I
made is I just don't do that anymore. I definitely have given up hard liquor 'cause that was the thing that I went to ... it's been a big change.'' 
On Sunday, Johnson was asked point blank if ever flunked a tour drug test. "No. Thanks,'' he said. 
Another question he dealt with why he hasn't been more forthcoming about his issues.
"It's personal and frankly ... it's not really anybody's business.''

Fair? Maybe. But still curious, especially when a top talent is gone for so long. If he entered some sort of rehab program, it wouldn't seem to have been for very long.
During the final holes yesterday, the Bride, an astute judge of character (with only the one obvious failure on her resume), posed an interesting question, "How come I don't like him?"  Because we don't like being lied to?  And because he's a man blessed with prodigious talent that seems determined to get as little out of it as possible?

DJ's charms similarly elude your humble correspondent, though I wish him well in realizing his talents.  This bit makes you think that perhaps he gets it:
"I knew I was really good," Johnson said. "I knew there was something I was missing that could make me great. I was working hard on that, and I think it's showing right now. ... It's tough. I'm so excited right now, I can't hardly talk. It feels great. The one definitely, by far, is the best one."
Perhaps...but I'm still stuck on that concept that the first step to beating a problem is to admit you have one.  But how about this bit from Commissioner Mumbles:
The PGA Tour's policy of not disclosing discipline -- except in the case of a failed performance enhancing drug test -- is really at the root of the issue that will likely not go away for Johnson. Why would he admit to any penalties if the tour won't announce them, won't make him disclose? It simply leads to rumors. 
"I think you raise a good point when you say, well, if it triggers a situation where a player is stepping away from the game or maybe being suspended but we really don't know, does that create confusion,'' said PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem, speaking earlier in the day about the tour's long-chided policy. "And that's one point that we are giving some thought to on that particular situation.'
 Take your time, Tim.....nothing to see here.  Linda Robertson of the Miami Herald can't control her excitement:
A climax packed with high-stakes golf shots on every hole injected intensity into the atmosphere at Trump National Doral. The vibe had been a little too mellow over the first three days, maybe because too many fans were chilling inside the various cocktail lounges and corporate suites arrayed around the grounds, or maybe because Holmes built a cushy lead, starting with his incredible opening-round 62, which prompted Donald Trump to ask for tougher pin placements on his revamped course. 
Even PGA Tour commissioner Tom Finchem acknowledged he’d heard the tournament described as “flat” and lacking “buzz.”
Close and exciting are not exactly synonyms, and I can't really share her excitement.  A couple of other trivial notes...First, when Commissioner Ratched made his appearance in the broadcast booth, the wife remarked that "He's a very small man with incredibly big hands."   That's just a rumor, my sweet...

Lastly, in the eraly Golf Channel coverage one of the talking heads mistakenly referred to this week's event as The Transitions Championship.  As all serious fans of golf are aware, it is the Valspar Championship now, but the over/under is three on the number of heads that exploded in Ponte Vedra Beach.

And are we sick of the club toss yet?  I've certainly done my part, but the notoriously publicity-shy
Donald Trump sent his diver (it's important that we know he has diver) into the drink to reclaim for posterity a certain Nike 3-iron, which no doubt will be on a wall somewhere soon to be gawked at in the presence of $30 cocktails.

Rory couldn't resit, after hitting his second (ball, not shot) into the water on No. 18, he gave us a feigned club toss just for old time's sake.  He then proceeded to chip in for double, so he's got that going for him.

Obligations beckon.  I hope to be back with more later, but in case not just a heads up that tomorrow is a travel day.

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