Friday, May 28, 2021

Your Friday Frisson

I have a golf outing this morning that looks like it should beat the rain... But it does leave me seriously on the clock... 

He's Baaack - Forget that silly PGA Championship title, Phil is back with more....well, who knows what to call it:

The Match"—the made-for-TV events with Phil Mickelson taking part as one of the headliners each time—will return for a fourth time, Turner Sports announced on Wednesday, with a July 6 match
slated for The Reserve at Moonlight Basin in Big Sky, Mont., on TNT.

Mickelson—the 2021 PGA champion and a two-time winner in this format—will pair with Tom Brady, who Phil was teamed with in the second version of The Match at Medalist. They'll face Bryson DeChambeau and Aaron Rodgers, who will each make their debut in "Capital One's The Match" series. And once again, Turner says each competitor will be mic'd up throughout the competition, which will be a modified alternate-shot format, Turner says.

It has that "ripped from the headlines" feel, as both DeChambeau and Rodgers have featured prominently in  recent news cycles.  More on that in a sec.

Big Sky is ski country, and the golf course reflects that:

The Reserve at Moonlight Basin, ranked No. 2 on Golf Digest's most recent Best in State rankings in Montana, can be tipped out at 8,000 yards and features a 777-yard 17th hole. The course sits at 7,000 feet above elevation, built on an old ski mountain—so Mickelson and Co. will have the opportunity to hit some bombs.

At that elevation (and 7,500 feet has been cited as well) and playing downhill, that's a 777-yeard Par-5 that's likely reachable for the two pros... Just the speculation as to how far Bryson can launch it at 7,000 feet will draw some eyeballs...

 The trash talk is well under way:

That's actually a clever quip in reference to that strange field goal Green Bay kicked in their conference championship game, though that decision was most certainly not Rodgers'.

We know that suits in Ponte Vedra Beach are all over the synergy, and we have some fine examples today in connection with the Brooks-Bryson imbroglio.  That original video, by the way, has been taken down, notwithstanding the fact that enough folks had already seen it to achieve herd immunity.  Shack had this on the glorious spat:

Glorious!

Except in the State-guided media world.

As I noted in an earlier post, NBC/Golf Channel is “investigating” the origins of the video. And while the episode is a little embarrassing in various ways for Koepka and the network’s leadership, it amounts to a very small deal in the grand scheme and hopefully will not lead to a low paid, overworked employee losing their job.

Given the incredible number of times the clip was watched before getting taken down—as many saw it as tuned in for the final round of the PGA—you’d think media operations constantly searching for “engagement” and “impressions” with a young, hip, male audience would be reporting the above fun that does possibly have ramifications for the Ryder Cup.

The efforts to run from such good fodder suggest this is a grave matter at the Global Home and their internal “listening” reports are being drawn up to analyze the reactions. (GolfChannel.com and PGATour.com have touched no part of the social fodder while GolfDigest.com has buried an item on it where stories go to die, also known as The Loop…yes it still exists.)

So I guess the attempts at make this gaffe go away tells us not to expect an update on the Player Impact Program ramifications. Darn.

Give it up, Geoff.  In order to work for the Tour, one is required to have one's sense of humor surgically removed.

But Brady seems very much on his game:


Whereas Bryson's response has a forced feel to it:


Can't we all just get along?

Andy Nesbitt is a bit ga-ga for that meme:

Brooks Koepka and Bryson DeChambeau have been in a goofy golf feud for quite some time. The two obviously aren’t big fans of each other and haven’t been all that concerned about hiding that fact.


It’s an incredible video. Maybe the best golf video ever. I watched it like 40 times last night and I look forward to watching it more today.

Bad news, Andy, as one of the Five Families, omertà is maintained by any means necessary.  So, that video sleeps with the fishes...

The best part is in the end when Koepka tells Lewis he wouldn’t care at all if the video made it on TV. That’s how much he loathes DeChambeau. He’s not afraid to hide it at all.

And you know what? This feud and that hatred is so great for golf.

Koepka and DeChambeau or two of the best golfers in the world and a personal rivalry like this can only make things more interesting when they find themselves battling down the stretch of a tournament, which could happen any week the two are in the field.

The PGA Tour can be a very vanilla place where lots of guys are happy for a top 20 finish and the six- to seven-figure payout that comes with that. There are lots of smiles, waves to the crowd after a nice shot or a big putt, and aw shucks reactions to big moments.

What the Tour lacks is any real disdain felt between some players that leads to some epic Sunday showdowns and cause casual fans to sit down and tune in.

Until now.

 Well, we used to have Tiger v. Phil, though they've decided to go all BFF on us.  But we'll always have Tiger v. Sergio to fall back on... Notice a trend?

I’ve said before that the PGA Tour should do everything in its power to have these two great golfers paired up together in a tournament and I feel even more passionate about that right now. I mean, imagine if the USGA did that for the first two rounds of the upcoming U.S. Open? It would be ratings gold. Then imagine if they’re in the final group on Sunday battling for the win? My. Goodness.

In the interest of Five Family relations I'm pretty sure that Mike Davis wouldn't do that to his goof buddy Jay Monahan... although he is a lame duck.

Of course, this is the real elephant in the corner:

These two guys are also likely going to be key figures on the U.S. Ryder Cup team this year, which will make for a very interesting team room. There’s no way captain Steve Stricker would pair them together on that stage, but imagine if he did!? Again, there’s NO chance of that happening at all but just allow me to dream a little bit on this Tuesday morning.

Allow me to dream!

You were right the first time, there is no chance of that happening.  But Brooks is running up the score of guys that don't want to play with him, DJ being the first, so Stricker's hand seems dealt be fate.  It just so happens there's this other guy with whom no one wants to be paired, so remember that you heard it here first, I'm guessing we'll see a Brooks Koepka-Patrick Reed pairing at Whistling Straits.

And as Sean Zak informs, nothing is new under the sun:

Brooks? Bryson? United States Ryder Cup drama goes back nearly 100 years

But the truth is, drama has followed the Ryder Cup everywhere. Organize the best players in the world into a system they’re not used to and ask them to play for no money, but with implied significance that affects their legacy? Emotions are guaranteed to run hot.
Sarazen and Hagen.

For every modern tale like Patrick Reed slamming Jim Furyk’s decisions in Paris in 2018, there’s a moment in history where a legendary golfer did something just as brash. Actually, even more brash. Take, for instance, the plight of Gene Sarazen.

Sarazen will forever be one of the greatest golfers to ever live, and he knew it. In the spring of 1938, after he had amassed his seven major championships and won the career Grand Slam, he was 36 years old and thinking about everything he had earned within the game. He was short on one goal in particular: a Ryder Cup captaincy.

The Ryder Cup was still in its infancy at the time — it had only been played six times — and Walter Hagen had captained the American team every single time. Great Britain and Ireland had won four of those occasions, and the most recent two Cups. Sarazen, with his 7-2-3 career record in the matches, wanted his time in the lead spot, but he wouldn’t get it.

So he did what players have done since time immemorial, he threw a hissy fit and quit.

Good times.

A Market Glut - Hey kids, exciting news today about yet another way to Live Under Par™:

The Memorial Tournament presented by Nationwide and OhioHealth partner to offer COVID-19 vaccinations

Johnson & Johnson’s Janssen vaccines will be available to patrons attending the 2021 Memorial Tournament on June 4, 5 and 6

Dublin, Ohio – The Memorial Tournament presented by Nationwide, in partnership with OhioHealth, announced today they will host on-site COVID-19 vaccination opportunities for patrons attending the 46th playing of the Memorial.

The Memorial Tournament’s on-site vaccination location will be conveniently located near the Tournament’s main entrance, adjacent to the Information Tent on the west side of the Practice Area. The vaccination station will be staffed by OhioHealth and offer Johnson & Johnson Janssen vaccines to Memorial patrons from Friday, June 4 to Sunday, June 6, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m.

“The Memorial is excited to welcome back fans to this year’s Tournament and happy to partner with OhioHealth to offer those individuals the opportunity to get vaccinated,” said Memorial Tournament Executive Director Dan Sullivan. “This is a perfect way to enjoy the world’s best golfers, and all that the Memorial Tournament has to offer, while also helping more Ohioans get vaccinated.”

 That didn't take long... What's second prize, two vaccines?

The NCAA's, Women First - The NCAA Golf Championships have successfully usurped the Men's and Women's Amateurs as the premiere amateur event, at least in the opinion of your humble blogger.  It's perhaps not a fair fight, because it's the team aspect that rules:

After leading Ole Miss to a dominant victory at the NCAA Championship – the first women’s
title in school history – head coach Kory Henkes said, “If you get the right people on your team anything can happen.”

When you look at the Rebel roster, Kennedy Swann stands out.

The Austin, Texas, native with the big smile and even bigger game has been the emotional leader and a sparkplug for Ole Miss, but this weekend at Grayhawk Golf Club almost never happened for two reasons. The first? Swann, a Clemson transfer two years ago, was unsure about returning for a fifth year after COVID-19 wiped out the 2019-2020 season. The second?

“To be honest, at first I told her no,” Henkes said of the initial call about a transfer. “I just didn’t know if it was the right fit for where we were going with our program at the time. After talking to her I said, ‘alright, I’ll give you a second chance, but if you mess up, you’re done.’ It was strict for the first year, and she didn’t blow it. She took advantage of every opportunity.”

It's the team match play format that makes this so compelling.  Really a great event, and the men follow this week also at Grayhawk.  

Just a bit of a shame that it now comes directly on the heels of the PGA Championship.  Having watched far too much golf over the weekend, it took some endurance to dive into this.   But that endurance was amply rewarded.

Colonial Daze - Not much interest in this event, but a good early leaderboard:

Jordan Spieth and Sergio Garcia lead

Jordan Spieth and Sergio Garcia both fired bogey-free rounds of seven-under 63 on Thursday to lead the field by two shots. Spieth is seeking his 13th career Tour victory, while Garcia is seeking his 12th. Both players are experiencing a bit of a career resurgence over the past several months, with Garcia claiming the Sanderson Farms Championship in October — his first PGA Tour victory since his 2017 Masters win — and Spieth winning the Valero Texas Open in April, which was his first victory since the 2017 Travelers Championship.

Colonial is also where Garcia won his very first PGA Tour event, 20 years ago (!), in 2001.

 I'm still a bit unclear as to why this guy even showed:

What about Phil?

Despite becoming the oldest player ever to win a major championship (the sixth of his career) at the PGA over the weekend, Mickelson honored his commitment to play in this week’s Charles Schwab Challenge. His performance wasn’t quite as dazzling at what was on display at Kiawah’s Ocean course, though, as he signed for a round of three-over 73 — 10 shots off the pace and currently T87. While Mickelson didn’t suffer any disasters during the first round, he did make five bogeys and only two birdies on the day.

Even so, he does make a good point:

And we'll be hearing about that from him incessantly, but who could blame him?

I do, alas, have to run.  Enjoy your holiday weekend, no matter how cold and wet it might be. 

Tuesday, May 25, 2021

Tuesday Trends

Some PGA Championship remainders, and a couple of other items for your delectation.

PGA Leftovers - Seth Waugh with an apology:

Geoff finds said apology lacking:

But the PGA has yet to address what it plans to do about the security and crowd control breakdown at Kiawah.

With a Ryder Cup coming and no apparent desire to limit adult beverage sales, barricades may be in order. Also yet another review of the alcohol policy might be in order.

Meh!  It seems unreasonable to expect an action plan for the 2022 PGA Championship, so is Geoff bemoaning the absence of a pro forma commitment to do better?   

As for the Ryder Cup, the problems there are inherently different.  Sunday is its own mayhem in a tightly-contested cup, but there's no way of knowing where matches finish.  But the real problems are Friday and Saturday, where the confluence of open bars and little golf to be seen (only four matches per session) seem highly combustible.  Let's hope Wisconsin Nice is a real thing...

Of course if you're worried above the rampaging hordes at a Ryder Cup, Whistling Straits isn't what will keep you up at night.  Bethpage in 2025, however, seems like asking for trouble.  I was last there with the Met. Golf Writers in 2019, and was a bit taken aback by the New York State and PGA of America officials who were completely blasé about the numbers  of spectators to be allowed and alcohol policies, seemingly unaware its effect on humans.  

This from ESPN's Bob Harig seems to confirm suspicions:

The tournament originally announced that attendance would be capped at 10,000 spectators per day due to COVID-19 protocols. But with restrictions being loosened across the country and in South Carolina, the crowds were considerably larger throughout the event. There were thousands of people lining both sides of the fairway at the 18th on Sunday.

Maybe some enterprising reporter could ask Seth how any were allowed in?  Just spitballin' here, but I think they call that journalism...

 Dylan Dethier, in his Monday Finish feature, has some graphic imagery from that 18th hole scene

I could still see the crowd rushing down from the rough on No. 18, overtaking Mickelson and his caddie. Overtaking me, too. The whole thing felt surreal; we’ve seen crowds fill in behind golfers coming down the 72nd hole, but they’re not supposed to swallow them altogether.

Ummm, Dylan, perhaps you should watch this.

I could feel the crush of the crowd around me as their collective charge was halted greenside. The back of the mob continued pushing forward. I could tell I wasn’t the only one quickly and
unexpectedly readjusting to being in close proximity with thousands of strangers after more than a year of adjusting to the complete inverse.

I could hear the chants, the jubilant Phil! Phil! Phil! getting quicker in cadence and exploding into ovation, earning a raised thumb and wide grin from Mickelson, who’d been inscrutable nearly all week, hiding behind dark shades.

I could taste dust in the wind, which isn’t a commentary on the meaning of Sunday’s conclusion but actually the very literal consequence of fans charging downwind from the dunes, bringing that sand with them onto the fairway.

And I could smell these good people, too, the inevitable after-effects of an 87-degree day spent trekking a treeless golf course.

So sorry to have missed it, as it seems to have been an orgy for the senses.

Dylan had some thoughts on the scene or, more accurately, on the protagonist:

Mickelson is widely but not universally beloved. I get that. Phil himself joked on Twitter that he’s “best taken in small doses.” But three remarkable bits from Sunday’s victory stuck with me. And even if you’re not a Phan, I’ll humbly present them for your consideration, too:

I've always spoken of Good Phil vs. Bad Phil, and that smidgeon of self awareness fits perfectly into the former.

First, that Mickelson still genuinely loves playing golf. Fellow San Diegan Charley Hoffman
suggested that Lefty may play more actual golf than anyone on Tour. In an era of pros chasing specific spin rates on Trackman at the range, that’s a refreshing way to operate.

“I’ve never been driven by exterior things,” he said after his win. “I’ve always been intrinsically motivated because I love to compete, I love playing the game.” I think he was telling the truth. His brother backed him up.

“He just loves golf,” Tim Mickelson said. “He loves golf.” Say no more.

Yeah, a lot of these guys never play for fun.  Though Dylan elides the competition and action factors...  Remember, Phil is the kind of that has said, in setting up a money match, that he doesn't get out of bed for less than X dollars a hole.

Second, it’s worth appreciating the way Mickelson seems to be appreciating this championship.

“So, it’s very possible that this is the last tournament I ever win. Like, if I’m being realistic,” he said. There’s something very special in that recognition. How many athletes get to savor a win with full knowledge there might not be another one coming? How great is it to stand on the top of the mountain and try to appreciate that this genuinely might be as good as it gets? As fans of the game, we want the folks in the arena to recognize just how good they have it, and it was neat to watch that in real time.

Of course, this is Phil Mickelson, so he didn’t leave it there.

“It’s also very possible that I may have had a little bit of a breakthrough in some of my focus and maybe I go on a little bit of a run, I don’t know,” he said, twinkle in his eye.

I liked that bit as well.  And this has long been part of good Phil:

The third bit worth appreciating actually came from Mickelson’s session with reporters after his round on Friday. He was eager to finish chatting and requested through the PGA that he take only three questions. After those three questions — and one follow-up — he started to walk off before glancing to his right, where he caught a glimpse of longtime Augusta Chronicle scribe Scott Michaux. He turned back.

“Scott,” he said. “I’m really sorry to hear about your dad.”

It was a fundamentally decent moment and a kind thing to say to Scott, whose 94-year-old father had passed away a day earlier. Mickelson had broken character for a moment and revealed something sweet underneath.

And did anyone catch the scene where he gave a ball or something to a kid in a wheelchair during the round?  

But Dylan also has some of the less pleasant aspects of Phil's Sunday:

Crowds are back at golf tournaments, which means the U-shaped tunnels surrounding wayward tee shots are back, too. Phil loves these tunnels — up to a certain point, at least.

By now you’ve already seen the mob scene that followed Mickelson home on 18. But on Saturday, it was the scrum on a punch-out right of No. 16 that stood out. Directly after impact, the sand-dune crowd suddenly closed in around him. Two security guards plus Mickelson’s brother/caddie, Tim, jumped in to secure a perimeter, but one particularly frisky fan seemed set on giving Mickelson a pat on the back. When that man touched Mickelson’s shoulder, he sprung forward like he’d been electrocuted. “Don’t touch me!” he yelped, speeding back under the safety of the ropes.

Watching golf is slow, until it suddenly isn’t. Mickelson seemed more comfortable in the crowd on Sunday, despite their massive numbers. But when another fan grabbed his shoulder, he understandably reacted. “Elbowed him in the ribs,” he wrote on Twitter later with a laughing emoji. “He backed off.”

It had to be scary in the moment...

One additional aspect of the return of fans is the return of Grandstanding, which was the play on No. 18:

3. “Hit me, Hideki!”

The most fascinating subculture I discovered all week was down the left side of the 18th fairway. Because the hole played into the wind the first few days, golfers were tempted to aim down the left side and into the hospitality tents, from which point they’d take free relief on trampled rough.

Some of the more reckless spectators started cheering for pros to launch balls their way. What better chance to get close to the action?

Now we get to my least favorite part of Phil's incredible win, specifically the over-interpretation thereof.  First example:

Could Phil Mickelson be poised for another major win this year?

Similar to Tiger's Masters, people's instinctive reaction to a miracle seems to be to expect another one just around the corner.   

 This one might be even more alarming:

12 players Phil Mickelson may have just stolen a Ryder Cup spot from

Yanno, guys, there was a reason Tiger left Phil off his Prez Cup team.

Please, God, no, those memories from Paris are still etched in my mind.  Anyway, this is actually a fun analysis from Christopher Power, who makes some assumptions  (Jordan and Patrick in, for instance) leaving Captain Stricker with two spots to fill.  Here's how he sorts it all out:

"Probably still going to make the team, but officially have to watch their back" category: Tony Finau, Daniel Berger

I like the latter a lot more than the former, for the simple reason that he can roll his rock.

"Wait a minute, he’s on the outside looking in?" category: Patrick Cantlay

 I know everyone thinks he's a great player, but what has he really done yet?

"The biggest victim of Phil’s win" category: Billy Horschel

Oh, you though Billy Ho was going to be on this team?  Heh, that's a good one...

"The guys who might never get another real shot" category: Max Homa, Harris English

I think the Republic will survive their absence, though Max is awfully good at the social media stuff.

"Young studs who have plenty of Ryder Cups in their future" category: Will Zalatoris, Sam Burns, Scottie Scheffler

Geoff had this interesting feature on Phil's numbers, which include some surprises:

Mickelson’s 2021 PGA Win By Some Of The Numbers

6th: Major title, making him the 14th in the 6-or-more club. (2004 Masters, 2005 PGA , 2006 Masters , 2010 Masters , 2013 Open , 2021 PGA)

50 years, 11 months, 7 days: Replaces Julius Boros as golf’s oldest major winner.

2,864 days: Since Mickelson's last major victory at the 2013 Open.

45th: Career PGA Tour victory to tie Walter Hagen for 8th all time.

115: Mickelson’s world ranking to begin the week. He’s the lowest-ranked player to claim a major since No. 169 Shaun Micheel at the 2003 PGA Championship.

30 years: Since he won the 1991 Northern Telecom Open as an amateur.

4 of 4: Mickelson becomes the fourth player to win a tour events in four different decades (Sam Snead, Raymond Floyd, Davis Love III).

1st: Strokes gained tee to green. He was 176th on the PGA Tour entering the week.

15th: In driving distance (all drives) for the week (293 average)

114: Putts for the week (SG 37th)

5th - strokes gained approach (46/72 GIR)

12 of 26: scrambling for the week (T66)

366: yardage of 16th hole tee shot Sunday, longest drive there for the week.

Unsurprisingly, pretty strong through the bag, with the shocker being the sub-par scrambling numbers...

Shall we exit with the man in orange?  he had himself a credible week, finishing in the top ten and justifying the special exemption.  But an expensive miss on his final hole:

Fowler didn't know it at the time, but his second-to-last putt of the tournament was of great
importance. After beginning the day at even for the week, he had worked it to two under through 17 holes, needing only a par at Kiawah Island's 18th to finish at two under. That would have eventually put him in a five-way tie for fourth. The medium-length par effort caught the hole but lipped out, leaving him in a tie for eighth at day's end.

Why does that matter? Well, as Harry Higgs could tell you, a T-4 would have earned Fowler a spot in the 2022 Masters and the 2022 PGA Championship, two events he is not yet exempt for. That should be shocking, but it's not given Fowler failed to qualify for the Masters this past April, which marked the first time he missed a major since 2010. He also wasn't exempt for the PGA at the Ocean Course, but the PGA of America extended him a special invite, which drew some Golf Twitter ire.

Ouch!

We'll leave things with this hysterical video:


 In case you weren't aware, those two don't exactly get along...

Girls Night Out - We all watched too much golf this weekend, but on the odd chance you have remaining bandwidth, this week is the Women's NCAA Championship.  Last night was the preliminary:

It is an unwritten, though not unavoidable, decree in school hierarchy that freshmen need to know their place. So it is that Stanford freshman Rachel Heck has spectacularly affirmed that her place
is atop leader boards.

Heck, 19, from Memphis, Tenn., concluded the individual part of her remarkable freshman season by winning the NCAA Division I Women’s Championship at Grayhawk Golf Club in Scottsdale, Ariz., on Monday, the first Stanford woman ever to win the individual title. It was her sixth victory, already tying her for third most in Stanford history, and she became only the ninth freshman in NCAA history to win the individual championship.

Moreover, Heck became the third woman in Division I history to win her conference championship (the Pacific 12), an NCAA regional (the Stanford Regional) and the NCAA Championship.

I call it the preliminary because the fun stuff begins tonight, team match play.  Young girls and a great format: what's not to like?

Girls Just Wanna Have Fun - Remember that cancelled Baton Rouge regional?  Well, the girls at least got to play somewhere:

Wednesday, the NCAA controversially cancelled the Division I Women’s Golf Championships regional event in Baton Rouge, La., without a single shot being played. The reason? The course
has received over seven inches of rain, and though it was deemed playable, it wasn’t “championship level.”

So, in lieu of qualifying on the course, the top six-seeded teams (LSU, Ole Miss, Baylor, Oregon, Maryland and Alabama) of the 18 onsite and top three-seeded individuals were selected to advance to the national tournament, abruptly ending the season for the dozens of players left on the outside looking in. A video of an NCAA official’s announcement of the cancellation quickly went viral on social media.

Fast forward to yesterday, Friday, and Audrey Tan being crowed the inaugural individual champion of the Barstool Sports Let Them Play Classic, where her team, North Texas University, also claimed victory at an event that didn’t even exist just over a week ago.

 “I’m so happy. I really could not have asked for a better week,” Tan told GOLF.com. “To have the opportunity to play, and finish out the season playing, I’m just incredibly grateful to be here.”

The awards marked the culmination of eight days of tireless organization spearheaded by Sam “Riggs” Bozoian, Barstool Sports’ Fore Play podcast host.

Good stuff, and the NCAA should be shamed.  

Catch you all down the road a bit. 

Monday, May 24, 2021

Weekend Wrap - A Win For The Aged

Going into yesterday's final round I didn't have a clear idea of what I wanted to happen, though it was clear that nobody on the Ocean Course suffered from the same indecision.

This seems as good a place as any to dive in:

Coffee, meditation, and 'bombs': How Phil Mickelson defied his age to make history

KIAWAH ISLAND, S.C. — Your friends consider golf the domain of retired geezers, but at the elite level, it really is a young man’s game. At least relatively so. In your 20s, you’re fearless,
completely devoid of scar tissue, and you ram that ‘sumbitch in the back of the cup. Your 30s find you in your prime, still physically pliable but also efficient with your practice, disciplined in decision-making. The great ones get a few looks in their 40s. It’s a recent thing, the product of sports getting smarter and equipment getting, well, better.

But your 50s? You want to win a major past the half-century mark? Bollocks.

Until Sunday. Phil Mickelson pulled off the impossible, winning the PGA Championship at Kiawah Island’s Ocean Course for his sixth major. In the process, he became the oldest player to ever win a major championship, breaking Julius Boros’ record that stood for 53 years.

Defied?  Pushed the boundaries a bit, sure... But Boros at 48 and Jack at 46 had already happened, not to mention Watson's one-hand-on-the-Claret Jug moment from 2009 (at age 59), which karmically (shocking, but an actual word) evokes Stewart Cink's two wins this season.  This 

But the "how" is worth a moment or two:

The motivation

The first step toward advanced-age greatness is passion. Simple passion. It’s a prerequisite. Without it, none of this is possible. Coming into this week, Phil Mickelson had 44 wins on the PGA Tour, five majors, a beautiful family, a gazillion dollars in career earnings…you get the picture. He did not need this by any stretch. He could’ve easily rode off into the sunset, slowly converting into a ceremonial golfer. Eight starts a year. Play the majors, maybe Torrey, the Memorial, shoot some commercials, call it a career. For normal people, this option grows more enticing with each failure. Lefty had gone 18 straight starts without a top 20; that would crush the spirit of most every 50-year-old, and would you blame them?

But Mickelson has been adamant his work isn’t done.

“My desire to play is the same,” he said Sunday night. “I've never been driven by exterior things. I've always been intrinsically motivated because I love to compete, I love playing the game. I love having opportunities to play against the best at the highest level. That's what drives me, and I think that that's what is—the belief that I could still do it inspired me to work harder.

He can be a bit insufferable when he starts nattering on about how close he is as he's missing cuts by a touchdown, but it's obviously quite irrelevant whether or not we believe it.  

The speed

The most obvious answer to the why-old-guys-get-worse question: they get weak and slow. It’s
why you don’t see any 45-year-old NBA players or NFL players not named Brady. Our bodies peak sometime in the mid-to-late 20s before slowly tapering off. Golfers are not immune to this—granted, Phil wasn’t exactly LeBron to begin with, but if you had him run through a full combine at 30 and one today, 30-year-old Phil would prevail easily. But golf does not force you to run or jump or cut; it calls for a very specific type of physical exertion.

Phil has tailor made his fitness routine with flexibility in mind. He won’t get confused for Adonis, but he’s found a way to stay springy and actually gain speed in the last five years. On 16, his veins coursing with major-Sunday adrenaline, Mickelson pumped his drive well past 31-year-old Brooks Koepka, 366 down the center, with a cut. He is still long as hell.

For those of us skeptical about those golfers bulking up, Phil's seems the better model.  That's of course easier when you're already monstrously long, but doesn't help explain how he was able to drive it so straight this week.

 Though this is the part where my eyes involuntarily roll:

The mindfulness

If you watched Phil down the stretch closely, you couldn’t help but be struck by his sense of zen. He oozed calmness. Interestingly enough, in recent months he’d been honest about his problems focusing. He’d hit good shots and even piece together good rounds, but he’d have a hard time stacking good rounds on top of one another or re-focusing when something takes him out of the zone. Which is totally normal.

“As you age, it typically takes more effort to sustain focus,” says Dr. Bhrett McCabe, who works with a number of PGA Tour pros. “Golf is so hard because the mind is flooded constantly with processes and challenges that make it so hard to stay focused. You add in a major championship, it’s brutal.”

Unwilling to simply accept that new reality, Mickelson has proactively sought out tangible remedies to keep himself sharp.

“I'm working on it,'' Mickelson said Friday. "I'm making more and more progress just by trying to elongate my focus. I might try to play 36, 45 holes in a day and try to focus on each shot so that when I go out and play 18, it doesn't feel like it's that much. I might try to elongate the time that I end up meditating. I'm trying to use my mind like a muscle and just expand it because as I've gotten older, it's been more difficult for me to maintain a sharp focus, a good visualization and see the shot.”

As he strolled up the final fairway on Sunday, with a mob of fans sprinting in his rearview mirror, Mickelson made a concerted effort to control his breathing. It’s a meditative practice that dates back millennia but is also backed up by modern physiology.

Yeah, we'll get to that peaceful stroll up No. 18 in a sec, but I'm guessing fear made a cameo appearance.

Eamon Lynch has his usual interesting take, including noting the curious cameos of those previously guilty of elder abuse:

For superstitious types, it might have seemed ominous that Sunday was a good day for the two men who were spoilers when guys in their 50s previously led major championships entering the final round.

Padraig Harrington, only a few months shy of the half-century himself, shot 69 and finished T-4, while Stewart Cink carded two eagles in a 69 of his own. In long-ago Open Championships, Harrington and Cink ran down, respectively, Greg Norman and Tom Watson. Norman was 53 when he led by two at Royal Birkdale in ’08 and Watson almost 60 when he carried a one-stroke advantage the following year at Turnberry.

As someone once said, "History does not repeat itself, but it does rhyme."

 Though I'm not completely sold on this bit:

Considering the outcome in both instances, one would be forgiven for assuming that seniors leading majors are like dogs chasing cars—you admire the tenacity, but know it won’t end well.
That was the undercurrent Sunday at The Ocean Course when Phil Mickelson, a month shy of his 51st birthday, took a one-stroke lead into the final round of the PGA Championship, achingly close to a sixth major win and the distinction of being the oldest ever (by three years) to claim one of the game’s most important titles.

Yet what separated Mickelson from Norman and Watson was frailty. They had too much of it to outlast their pursuers, he had too little of it to encourage his. Mickelson’s paperwork might say 50, but his swing, his attitude and his confidence belie the years.

Phil seemed plenty frail to me on the 18th hole at Winged Foot in 2006.  Isn't the more interesting aspect how he was able to hold it together 15 years later?

This has been foremost in my mind, but Eamon is the only writer I've seen connect these dots:

It’s no coincidence that all three majors in which the 54-hole leaders had AARP cards were played on golf courses that reward the attributes that come with age. The Ocean Course isn’t a links in the literal design sense, but the demands it makes of players are identical to those celebrated courses just beyond the eastern horizon: patience, acceptance, stoicism, resilience.

Mickelson hasn’t always exhibited the first of those traits, but the gut punches he has absorbed over the years are testament to his familiarity with the other three.

Eamon's focus is obviously on the internal battles, but the specific demands on the player tend to be more favorable to those more experienced players.  The game becomes less about brute force and point-to-point golf and far more about managing the wind and the release of the ball on the ground, rewarding judgment and experience.  Which makes it fascinating that Phil, a man not noted for his judgement, has achieved his two most recent stunning successes, this and the Open Championship at Muirfield in 2013, in events requiring that very attribute.

Dylan Dethier has been posting inside-the-ropes accounts all week, and his account of Sunday's stroll with Phil and Brooks is worth excerpting generously, beginning with the yin and yang of their warm ups:

Sunday also served as a reminder that if you ever find yourself watching golf and feeling the pull of an inevitable result, remember: You’re watching golf. Nothing is inevitable.

But through exactly one hole at Kiawah Island on Sunday, the result felt inevitable.

In one corner you had Mickelson, an aging warrior with exactly zero major top-10s since the
Obama administration and a game that seemingly shouldn’t work at the Ocean Course. He grinded his way through an intense pre-round range session that included a broken club, a last-minute equipment switch and plenty of discussion with his swing coach Andrew Getson. (“If I hold this angle it’s harder, I have to flip it,” he told Getson as he worked to refine his driver swing, exactly 22 minutes before his tee time.) Mickelson missed the fairway, mis-hit his approach and left his lengthy putt so short he was still away.

And then there was his playing partner, Koepka, who has won four majors since the last time Mickelson contended. Koepka warmed up on the far end of the range, exuding nonchalant intensity. In contrast to Mickelson, he didn’t really consult anybody. He didn’t appear to be tweaking anything in his swing. Koepka has built a reputation as a major championship killer; he was one lousy Sunday away from entering this week as a three-time defending PGA champion. All he did during warm-ups was get his body — and his putter — ready to go. It seemed to work: Koepka busted 3-iron 280 yards down the first fairway, hit a wedge to 12 feet and dripped the right-to-left swinger in the center of the hole.

 But then they immediately swapped roles on the second hole:

But Koepka, with all the momentum in the world, served as a neat reminder that momentum doesn’t guarantee a perfectly square clubface at 120 miles per hour while an entire island of Michelob-fueled spectators screams for your playing partner. At No. 2, a downwind par-5, he tugged his tee shot, pulled a wedge, drew a gnarly lie and made double. Mickelson pulled off a nifty up-and-down from behind the green for birdie. Suddenly he was back in front by two.

One of the mysteries of this week has to be Koepka's brutal play on the Par-5's, which I believe he played in +3 yesterday, even with a birdie on No. 16.  One of the necessary ingredients to a win like Phil's is the necessity of help from the supporting cast, and Koepka was especially generous.  He always seemed to me to be playing too aggressively, instinctively wanting to be as close to the green as possible, though with Kiawah's pushed-up greens that's not always a great place to be.  And his airmailing of that second green made this observer assume he hadn't properly allowed for the change in wind direction.  Yanno, that experience thing we were discussing above.

Shall we visit with the Tour Confidential writers and see how they reacted?

1. Fifty-year-old Phil Mickelson did what no one saw coming: win the 103rd PGA Championship to become the oldest major winner in history. What will most stick with you from Phil’s performance?

Zephyr Melton: The feeling that at any moment it could all come crashing down. Every shot felt like it had tournament-deciding implications, even when he had a huge lead, and I don’t think I’m alone when I say I didn’t feel certain he would win until his approach found the green on the 72nd hole. It was vintage Lefty, and boy was it fun.

Yeah, we all did, or at least I assume we all did.  But in this case that's not all on Phil.  It's that type of golf course where disaster is literally always one swing away... 

Sean Zak: That the entire week was decidedly un-Phil. He didn’t seem jovial with the press, he was curt with a cameraman, he flashed the thumbs-up, but wasn’t really looking at the fans. And he drove the ball like a stallion. All of that is to say that the man sort of reinvented himself to win at 50. Hitting bombs, hitting irons like he was 24, rolling the rock as good as ever. I will never forget how new it all seemed.

Jessica Marksbury: That ridiculous short game. Aside from the obvious highlight — the chip-in on 7 — Phil got it up-and-down time and again under extremely difficult, stressful circumstances, not to mention brutal lies. Also, the incredible effort he put into controlling his emotions. You could tell it took a toll.

If I never hear the term "sandy area" again I'll be a happy man.  But when golf writers internalize this nonsense of there being no bunkers (a lot of rakes for a course with no bunkers) and start calling run-of-the-mill bunker explosions "chip shots", one can only suggest they find another line of work.

James Colgan: How fun it was to ride the roller coaster with him on Sunday. Phil’s performance was, as we all know, anything but sure-footed, but that added so much to the experience. Everyone, Phil included, was clinging to the edge of their seat till his approach landed safely on the 72nd hole. If that’s the last time I ride the roller coaster with Lefty, I’m leaving happy.

Michael Bamberger: The trooper shades, and imagining what went on behind them.

I would have referred to them as aviators, but Mike nailed it.

Nick Piastowski: Along the lines of what a few others above said, and what Mickelson said himself, the focus. Take his tee shot on 17. On the hardest hole on the course, in front of a spirited crowd, while holding a lead on the final day of a major, while trying to become the oldest major champion ever, Mickelson said he felt the wind. It changed directions. And he stepped away. Does Mickelson in his 20s and 30s do that? I’m not sure.

More importantly, that up-and-in birdie on No. 16 allowed him to hit the right shot on No. 17, one that the wind couldn't affect.

2. Where does this victory rank among Mickelson’s career achievements?

Melton: No. 1, no questions asked. The Open Championship win came out of left field, but this win came from another planet. There were no signs that this would be Phil’s week, yet he gutted it out and came out on top. Winning like that at age 50 is certainly the top accomplishment of his decorated career.

Bamberger: No. 1, no questions asked. Thanks, Z.

Zak: This is his greatest achievement and will go down as the greatest memory of his career. How can it not? The greatest testament to a full, full, full career in golf, and a victory at 50 on perhaps the toughest course in the world. The only thing that could top it … well, it takes place in four weeks.

Marksbury: For us, the viewers and fans, it has to be No. 1, given the sheer unexpectedness and happy-surprise factor. Who knows where it ranks for Phil. I’m sure he’s gratified by the achievement, but it feels like the emotional impact could have been higher for him if his wife and kids had been on-site. I was yearning for Phil’s version of Tiger’s 2019 Masters moment on the 18th green and felt kind of disappointed when it didn’t happen.

Colgan: Yep, what they said. ^

Piastowski: No. 1, in a career full of highlights. The breakthrough win at the 2004 Masters and the emotional victory at the 2010 Masters are also up there, of course.

I'm sorry, but perhaps these nice folks will come to their senses after a moment to catch their breath.  First and most obvious, no PGA is ever as important as any Masters, that's just how things are in our little world.

But to me this misses the far more interesting question, which is how this win will change the assessments of Phil's career in total.  This isn't the time and place to go deep on this subject, but here's a quick peak at the list of major winners:

At some point I'd love to find a version of this graphic that includes how many so-called majors each played in.  For instance, Young Tom Morris only won four majors, but that's a far greater accomplishment when you realize he only played in five...  Not to mention the obvious Daddy issues.

Prior to this, I'd have argued that Phil deserved to be considered an all-time great, but that he wouldn't crack my top ten of all time (though perhaps he would if we limited ourselves to the modern era).  But no doubt he's strengthened his position in all of those arguments, and has now won Tour events in four decades.

3. Before Mickelson, the oldest player to win a major was Julius Boros, who at 48 won the 1968 PGA Championship. One could argue fields are deeper today than they were in the 1960s, but when you also consider equipment advancements and modern players’ emphasis on fitness, is Mickelson’s win more or less impressive than Boros’?

 I think you'll agree that these first two answers are a tad curious.

Melton: I know very little about Julius Boros and his win in 1968, so I will leave this question to the more seasoned staffers here at GOLF.com. *cough* Bambi. *cough*

Bamberger: Lexi Thompson’s mother’s father delivered milk to the Boros home.

Ummm, Mike, I have some follow up questions... 

Zak: How could it not be more impressive? I also know little about Mr. Boros, but Phil took down Koepka! The king of majors! He gave strokes back to Koepka and Oosty and the rest of the field, and then jumped right back on them. The best field in golf.

Sean might be surprised at how lengthy the list of guys that have beaten Oosty is, given that he's built on that 2010 Open Championship by winning exactly never in the eleven years since.

Marksbury: Yeah, always tough to compare eras. Gotta give Phil the edge, especially when you consider the stage: the longest major championship ever! Phil topping the tournament’s longest drive with that 366-yard bomb was just icing on the cake.

Bamberger: I think Boros’ win is more impressive, in its time, only because there was less cultural acceptance of what a golfer could do at 48 (or 50). What Phil did is incredible. Two incredible feats.

Mike makes a good point, though the most impressive bit might be that a 48-year old man won an event played in San Antonio in July:

Colgan: With the disclaimer that I’m not yet half Phil’s or Julius’ ages when they won, I’d have to lean toward Phil. The gap between young and old has never been greater in professional golf than right now, particularly given the advances listed above. Phil’s victory (at two years Boros’ senior) seems damn-near impossible.

Piastowski: Agreed that it’s difficult to compare eras. And while Mickelson edged Koepka, Boros bested Arnold Palmer. I’ll give the edge to Phil, simply by the fact that he’s older. Two great accomplishments, for sure.

Boros seemed to have Arnie's number, also beating him in the 1963 U.S. Open playoff.  What was it I said about history rhyming?

4. Brooks Koepka started the final round one stroke behind Mickelson and well within striking distance of his fifth major title. But he played the par-5s in three over and shot a 74 to finish two back, albeit on a still balky knee. Does this Sunday at all tarnish Koepka’s reputation for unflappableness in the majors?

Melton: Koepka was never going to win every time he was in contention. Golf is just too hard. Even Tiger didn’t close the deal every time (hello, Y.E. Yang), so a runner-up finish shouldn’t diminish his achievements in the big ones. I was still extremely impressed with Koepka’s ability to keep himself in it until the very end despite being less than 100 percent.

Zak: It shows he’s not invincible. He had a bad left miss going on all afternoon and couldn’t fix it until it was too late. When he needed to carry that bunker on 16 for an eagle chance, he didn’t. I think he’s still unflappable, but nobody conquers this game forever. That said, all he needed was a 71 to win.

Marksbury: Not at all. Koepka put himself in the mix yet again, and there’s a lot to be said for that at the game’s highest level. Plus, as Zephyr said, you can’t win them all. Just ask Jack Nicklaus.

Bamberger: Oh, Jess. It pains me to disagree with you. But, yes, it does. After turning the table after just one hole? That was Koepka’s moment to step on Phil’s throat, Tiger-style.

Colgan: Now you’re speaking my language, Michael. Brooks’ mythos is as a stone-cold killer. Phil left the door firmly ajar for him this afternoon, and he didn’t capitalize. (Though I’ll admit I admired his grace in defeat — maybe Brooks isn’t ALL frat bro, all the time.)

Piastowski: No. Capital N. Golf is hard. But on one knee — and shoot, maybe no knees — he tied for second. That’s incredible. The dude knows how to show up when the tournaments are the biggest. No one wins every time out, not even Tiger.

Yeah, I've certainly struggled to know what I think of the guy.  I'm not sure any of us should have considered him bulletproof, at least not after he almost lost a seven shot lead at Bethpage.  I just don't see much subtlety in his game, nor much strategy.  

Lastly, their thoughts on the golf course:

5. The windy Ocean Course at Kiawah Island lived up to its fearsome rep, giving the players all they could handle over four rounds. Would you like to see Pete Dye’s design appear more frequently on the major rota?

Melton: I have no issue with the Ocean Course becoming a regular stop for the PGA Championship, and we can throw Whistling Straits in there, too. So I guess what I’m saying is yes?

Zak: With the PGA Championship moving to May, perhaps it should take the ceremonial spot of Whistling Straits, which won’t be able to host that event in May anymore. Whistling hosted three PGAs in 12 years, and I think we’d learn to really love Kiawah in a sick and twisted way if it came around three times every two decades.

Do they intend to go to Wisconsin in May?  If you're Ok with Rochester, NY, why not cheese country? 

Bamberger: The golf course exists, as best I can tell, as an excellent venue for major events in beautiful weather on TV. But it’s not a real course, not in the conventional sense of walk the course, find your ball. I’m sure they sold a million tee times this week. The setup was excellent. It was a great event. But it’s really tough on spectators, and I just don’t know. By which I mean alternate every year between the Ocean Course and Pebble Beach.

They did once play a PGA at Pebble (Lanny Wadkins won that one), but Pebble is firmly in the USGA rota for eternity.  More likely, it would alternate between Kiawah and Frisco, TX, at least in Mike's fever dream.

Colgan: Eh. I think it’s worth noting that we were four windless days away from a 16-under winner. Kiawah seems like a lovely location, but I’d stop short of calling it a blue-chip location.

Marksbury: Most definitely. The vistas we were treated to of the crashing surf and perfectly manicured golf course made for a sublime viewing experience. And why should the U.S. Open have a monopoly on carnage? Bring it on!

Piastowski: Yes. Capital Y. The golf was entertaining for all four days, which is what we want, and most every player said the course was firm but fair, which is all they want.

It's a bit of a weird venue for sure, and you can add the logistical nightmares as well.  The real question might prove to be whether they can manage to get everyone on and off the island with a full crowd, which was a disaster in 2012.

Just a few more bits from the week, and then I'll release you to your busy day.  About that rugby scrum at the finish, Luke Kerr-Dineen has a first-hand account:

Louder and louder, more and more. Once Mickelson’s drive found grass on 18 and he made his way down the fairway — two-shot lead and smelling that Wanamaker — the seams finally burst. Or rather, the ropes did.

It seemed to start with a small group of friends, holding their beer in one hand and lifting the rope with the other. They ducked under and ran forward. All it takes is one. The dam was broken, and the water poured. A group of police swarmed around Mickelson and another around Koepka. The remaining marshals tried to hold the line, but it was a fruitless task.

And that's the calm before the storm:

Things calmed for a moment, and the marshals formed a line. A nice gesture, but it was obvious what was going to happen. As soon as Koepka — the second to play — hit his shot, the race
would be on.

Trying to stay within one-arm’s length of a rope that no longer existed, I had walked up the fairway behind Mickelson and his caddie, Tim, but I had meandered my way over to Koepka by this point. I thought the crowd would be more interested in sticking to Mickelson and therefore give Koepka (and myself) some breathing room. I didn’t realize that at this point, they had forgotten about Koepka, the four-time major champ, altogether.

Koepka set up to his ball. A marshal manning the crowd went to plug a gap in the line, but it had the inadvertent effect of his shadow hovering over the ball. Koepka backed off and asked the crowd to move back 10 feet. They managed about a foot. Koepka stepped into the shot again, sent the ball into the air and the crowd rushed past before it even fell to the ground.

It was exciting and beautiful and terrifying all at the same time.

Koepka's walk to the green was not a pleasant stroll:

Koepka’s walk up 18 was slow and cramped. He kept his eyes locked onto the ground, and his
head bowed as the noise intensified. He needed a birdie. Mickelson needed to three-putt. Security had formed a box around him, about the size of a small elevator shaft. What was he thinking?Trying to stay focused, I assumed. Professional golfers, I like to say, are essentially robots. What else could Koepka be thinking about in this moment but the next shot he needed to hit?

Turns out, what was going through his mind was far more human.

“I don’t think anybody really understands, unless you’re coming out of surgery how, when there’s five people kind of standing by your knee, you get a little skittish,” he said afterwards, obviously referring to the knee doctors worked on months earlier.

Things came to a grinding halt at one point. The smallest of steps forward had became a standstill.
“Guys, we gotta get through” a security guard bellowed at the crowd, which didn’t part as much as it got pushed through. Koepka was worried about his knee.

“It got bumped a few times,” he said. “Somebody jammed [my caddie] Rickie. Rickie stopped unintentionally because he got drilled in the face, and then I got drilled in the bag because he got stopped so quickly. It feels like s— right now.”

This is SOP at Open Championships, but seemed far more combustible here, and potentially dangerous for the two players and caddies.  The PGA ran a great event for most of the week, but even Jim Nantz had to recognize that the organizers had lost control of the crowd.

One little bit on rangefinders, which in general was the non-event most of us expected it to be.  But one pre-tourney skeptic was Webb Simpson, who has changed his tune:

“I feel like, this is a fact that it’s not going to speed up play, because everybody I know and have talked to, we still want front [of the green] numbers, and the rangefinder, you can’t always get the accurate front number,” Simpson said last week. “So you’ll probably have the player shoot the pin, the caddie walk off the number because I’m going to want, what’s front, what’s the pin? I haven’t read the reasoning behind it or their desire to test it out that week, but I don’t think it will really make a difference.”

It didn't exactly make a difference, but the Webber at least keeps an open mind:

“I was definitely against it coming in but we have seen how there’s a lot of situations where it helps,” Simpson said. “I was in the right rough on 10 yesterday, so you know, it’s a funky angle to that back left pin and my rangefinder got about six yards different than what we had come up with.”

“So you know, the carries over bunkers, if they move the tee up, instead of walking it off and calculating it in the yardage book, we’re just able to shoot it,” he said. “I think I was one of those old-school guys thinking we’re going to need both numbers still, it’s going to slow down play, but I actually do think it’s been a good thing. The more we did it each round, the more I like it.”

So, can we now discuss green-reading books?  

Did anyone catch Cameron Tringale on Friday?  

At 1:00 p.m. local time on Friday, Cameron Tringale stood tied for second at the PGA Championship. By 2:45, he’d fallen into a tie for 125th place.

How does an individual fall one-hundred and twenty-three leaderboard spots in the span of a little under two hours? Well, a quintuple bogey and a quadruple bogey on consecutive holes is a good place to start.

In this case, pictures tell the story:


I don't remember seeing anyone else in the water off the tee on No. 16, but he did it twice.  A brutal stretch of holes into a 20-mph wind, but when have we ever seen a 48 from one of these guys?

The last item of interest to your humble blogger was the issuance of an actual penalty for slow play.  Now pace-of-play was dreadful this week, with most rounds in the 5 1/2 hour range.  At one point the TV coverage actually showed us four groups on the 17th tee, so it was very much that kind of week.  Though, to be fair, it's that kind of golf course:

John Catlin was issued a rare slow-play penalty Thursday during the opening round of the PGA Championship, with the extra stroke resulting in a 3-over 75 at the Ocean Course.

Catlin, an American who plays on the European Tour and is making his major championship debut, first received a pace-of-play warning on the 16th hole (his seventh), where he took 74 seconds for his second shot.

When he used 63 seconds for his second shot at No. 3, he was in violation of Rule 5.6b (3) and was given a 1-stroke penalty.

Ironically, Caitlin was the recipient of the second (non-controversial) exemption into the event, the other being to the man in orange.  Amusingly, our head profesisonal asked me whether it was possible that he was invited by the PGA of America for the purpose of being penalized, but even your humble blogger isn't that big a conspiracy theorist.

But I'll just ask the reader rhetorically whether Catlin was the only guy to take that long to play shots?  The question isn't so much rhetorical, but it is one that answers itself, that the few instances of actual penalties for this crime always seem to land on the downtrodden of the golf world.  Tianlang Guan was unavailable for comment.

I'm sure we'll have more as the week progresses.  Come back early and often...