Wednesday, January 14, 2015

'Dis and 'Dat

With the powder day (and the all-important nap) behind us, perhaps we can focus on golf... it's something of a synergistic life that I lead, in the sense that it's lucky one doesn't need quads for blogging, as mine are quite fried.

14 Still > 5 - Though, to be fair, the way he's racking up the W's it seems that Patrick Reed was not so much wrong as early.  Alan Shipnuck describes the unlikely events:
That was evident five days later, when Reed stole the Tournament of Champions with an
Red on Monday, that must be the ticket.
audacious display of will and want. He never had his best stuff across four rounds at Kapalua’s Plantation Course -- variously describing his play as “mediocre,” “okay,” “hot and cold,” “so-so,” “up and down,” and “not quite right” -- but he came through when it mattered most. 
Four back of Jimmy Walker with four to play, he birdied the 15th hole and then on the par-4 16th he holed-out an 80-yard wedge shot for a game-changing eagle. Yet Reed had battled his putter all week, and on the 17th hole he yanked a 3-footer, making a bogey that would have broken a lesser player. 
Reed responded with a clutch birdie on the 72nd hole, and when Walker made a messy par on the same hole they went to sudden death. A couple of loose shots in the playoff ultimately left Walker standing on the edge of the green, watching Reed line up an 18-footer for birdie and the victory. 
He had to know he had given the wrong guy new life.
 That's now four wins and a bravado Ryder Cup appearance in a little over a year...not too shabby.

But before we move on, Patrick may have stolen the TOC from Jimmy Walker, but Stephen Hennessey focuses on the far more relevant issue of who has the worst hat tan.  Is it this week's champion?


A strong, committed effort no doubt, but he's up against the reigning champion, Stewart Cink:


I know, it's just a crime that either of them has to lose.

Say It Ain't So, Ko - I'm sorry to have to share this crushing blow with you:
Oh well, we'll always have Paris.
Word has it Lydia Ko will be sporting a new look in 2015. The LPGA sophomore has traded her signature glasses for contacts, giving the prodigious teen a more grown-up look.
Lydia, now you've gone and ruined what we had together....I absolutely adored those glasses, and if anyone needs me you'll find me curled up in a fetal position in the corner.

By The Time I get To Phoenix - With the planets aligned for an epic week at the Waste Management Phoenix Open, enter Commissioner Ratched from stage left to suck all enjoyment out of the process.  A rumor circulated behind the gates of Fortress Ponte Vedra that people were, how to put it, having fun at the Phoenix tour stop and, really, we cant have that...

Alex Miceli tweeted this notice from the players' locker room:


Our Commish has long envied the NFL and appears determined to create his own version of the No-Fun League....remember, just a couple of years ago he ended the 16th hole caddie races because....well, his reasons remain a closely guarded secret.

The AP's Doug Ferguson got this clarification from Tour operations chief Andy Pazder:
What first got the tour's attention was Padraig Harrington kicking a football into the stands. That's now forbidden. 
Pazder said a direct handoff is fine. 
''If a player is going by handing them out or flipping them to someone in the first row, that's fine,'' he said. ''But not going by throwing things like a Frisbee.''
 That's great, but the reality is that the stands are built so high that hand-off are difficult.  In our sport spectators are routinely hit by errant golf balls, but apparently a football or frisbee is a weapon of mass destruction....sheesh!

Je Suis Charlie - If only, as Charlie Rymer lands what can only be described as easy (on the eyes) duty:



I have to say that despite being unfamiliar with the game, utilizing grips that would cause Harry Vardon to spin in his grave and footwear not found in a FootJoy catalog (hey ladies, spikeless is the thing these days), the gals actually make some reasonably solid contact.

And as a bonus, when have you ever seen The Donald not say a word for 2:07?

This Week In Trick Shottery - Shack thought more highly of this offering from the Courooons than I:



But this one is good clean fun, just stick around long enough for the underwater camera:



Tell It, Joe - Loyal readers are familiar with the fun I have with Golf Magazine's Travelin" Joe Passov.  To be fair, Joe's work within his core competency is mostly fine, it's when he participates in their Tour Confidential feature that he inevitably jumps the shark.  His answers tend towards the nonsensical, and he takes forever to get there, as if he were paid by the word.  

So with that as background, I want to salute Joe for this answer to the final question of this week's round-table
6. After a weekend of watching golf at Maui’s spectacular Kapalua course, what's your pick for the most beautiful course in golf? 
PASSOV: Gotta go with the cool, tranquil, ethereal beauty of Cypress Point Club, the Grace Kelly of golf courses.
A good answer (of course there's many good answers) elegantly phrased (I particularly like his use of the adjective ethereal) and the Grace Kelly analogy rocks.  Well played, Joe, take another $5 out of petty cash.

And I Didn't Get Them Anything - Turns out that yesterday was the 82nd birthday of Augusta National Golf Club, which opened on January 14, 1933.  Shack caught it and linked to this cool Green Jacket Auction:


I've no clue and a quick Google search does not reveal who G, Van Aken might have been, but Inwood Country Club is a significant locale in the history of Bobby Jones, as it's where he won his first major, the 1923 U.S. Open.  

It's somewhat lost to history, but Jones had trouble nailing his first big win, and in this day and age would have been saddled with the dreaded Best Player to Not Win a Major sobriquet.  He didn't finish well here, either, coughing up a big lead with a bogey-bogey-double bogey finish, requiring an 18-hole playoff to prevail by a shot over Bobby Cruickshank (an admittedly unfortunate name for a golfer).

Weird Story of The Day - I caught on the national news last evening that a man in Ohio was arrested for plotting to kill Speaker of the House John Boehner.  On the surface it doesn't seem like it's a story for this venue, but bear with me:
Those are just a few of the things a Butler County bartender cited as reasons he was
going to kill House Speaker John Boehner this past fall, federal agents said. 
Michael Robert Hoyt, 44, was indicted Jan. 7 on charges of threatening to murder the congressman in a plot police said included poisoning his drink at a country club. 
Hoyt served drinks to Boehner for more than five years at the Wetherington Country Club in West Chester and was known as “Bartender Mike” to employees there.
What's this crazy world coming to when you can't trust your bartender?  

Call of Duty - Dave Shedloski has a good piece in Golf World on the difficult situation faced by Sang-Moon Bae, as he tries to postpone his military service until after the 2016 Olympics.  It's no doubt an issue we don't see much of in golf, but South Korea remains technically at war with the Hermit Kingdom and as a result military service is obligatory.

The timing is indeed unfortunate, as Bae's has elevated his game to where he's a consistent contender and, most importantly, the Presidents Cup is in South Korea later this year.  Not only would a native son on the International Team provide marketing sizzle, but Bae has won two events on the Jack Nicklaus-designed course hosting the event.

It's one of those dreaded E-mags, so I've no ability to provide an excerpt, but Shack helpfully provides a screen shot of this great photo of K.J. Choi fulfilling his service requirements:


Hey, his nickname isn't The Tank for nuttin'...

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