Future Schlock

How about an ever-so-brief detour from my flood-the-zone Donald Trump coverage?  Don't worry, I'll get back to comb-over country in a bit, but first lets' deal with a newer story.

That would be a major redesign of Golf Digest intended to appeal to...you know it's coming, millennials.  Bill Pennington discusses this in his weekly golf column in Pravda, and the title tells us all we need

to know, "Less Faldo, More Fallon."  We can all agree on the former, but the utility of the latter would seem to be in doubt (see Timberlake, Justin).

Here's how Pennington tees up the issue:

But modern golf is losing participants in record numbers, and every sector of the game is desperate to attract a more youthful, urban, progressive and irreverent following.

Urban?  You can see the problem there, can't you?

Certainly some sectors are desperate, the equipment manufacturers and real estate developers come to mind.  But there's nothing inherently wrong with a niche sport, especially when that niche is a highly desirable demographic with cash to burn on little blue pills.

So, how do we get out of this mess, Bill?  Here's where Golf Digest sees this going:

On Thursday, in yet another sign of the blossoming initiative to reconstruct golf, Golf Digest, the most august periodical in the sport, revealed the first issue of its reinvented magazine. 

It contains articles about smoking marijuana on the course, ways to enhance a golf cart with music-blasting Bluetooth speakers, a core workout exercise, and a single South African golf hole that costs $175 to play but includes a helicopter ride from the tee to the green.

Yeah, that's the ticket!  We're gonna grow our game by outfitting golf carts with loud speakers... The reason that marketing people get the big bucks is because it's difficult to attract new players without alienating your core audience.  And let's take a quick look at the business rationale for this:

Golf Digest’s prospective advertisers are interested in reaching people 18 to 34, the so-called millennial generation. That hardly separates Golf Digest from the rest of the publishing world, but Golf Digest has scrupulously accumulated data on what distinguishes millennial golfers from older golfers.

Are so-called Millenials ripe for the plucking...err not so much these days since most of them seem to be living in their parents basement:   Per William Galston in the Wall Street Journal (behind their paywall, but excerpted here):

Young adults are living with their parents at much higher rates than before the Great Recession. Many cannot afford monthly rental costs, let alone come up with the down payments they need to qualify for mortgages. 

This reflects the continuing travails of young adults in a slack labor market. Among recent college graduates ages 20 to 29, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports, unemployment stands at 10.9%, more than three points higher than in 2007. A study from the Federal Reserve Bank of New York finds that of the recent college graduates who have managed to find work, more than 40% are in jobs that do not require a college degree; more than 20% are working only part-time; and more than 20% are in low-wage jobs. . . .

 Pennington cites some intriguing research, such as this:

While 29 percent of golfers older than 55 said they wore jeans or denim on the course, only 13 percent of golfers 18 to 34 did the same. The younger golfers were also more likely to be against wearing cargo shorts on the course. Dressing up is part golf’s appeal, millennials said. 

A stunning 94 percent said they followed the rules closely when they played, 69 percent called golf the best sport for advancing a business career, and 77 percent considered golf as much of a sport as basketball or soccer. 

Perhaps most intriguing, 51 percent of millennials said country club membership was a lifetime goal, suggesting that many nonconforming newcomers aspire to a home in the most traditional of golf settings.

I agree that those findings are surprising, but ultimately the data tends to be inconsistent.  By all means look for encouragement in the views of the younger generation and use their cool idol's love of our game to make your appeal to them.  

But it seems from where I sit that for this appeal to work, it has to be grounded in the genuine appeal of our game (and the understanding that it won't be for everyone).  To the extent it's based on loud speakers in carts and smoking a doobie on Colorado golf courses, that seems destined for failure.