Flotsam and Jetsam™

Lots of minor items have piled up, as they typically do by mid-week.  So bear with me as I power through my blogging to-do list and close some browser windows.

Breaking News - My wonderful bride, better known as Unplayable Lies Employee No. 2, just informed me that Rory McIlroy has called off the engagement to Caroline Wozniacki, awkwardly waiting until two days after the invitations were mailed.  The Guardian has the skinny:

However, in a completely unforeseen development on Wednesday morning, McIlroy admitted

The couple at a happier time.

matters in his personal life had been moving too quickly for his liking. McIlroy had spent time in London last week with Wozniacki, with the golfer tweeting a photo of the view as he dined with his fiancee in Monte Carlo on Sunday evening. 

“There is no right way to end a relationship that has been so important to two people,” McIlroy said. “The problem is mine. The wedding invitations issued at the weekend made me realize that I wasn't ready for all that marriage entails.

Obviously Rory is a Seinfeld fan, and just gave Caroline the "It's not you, it's me" Costanza-approved breakup line.  Do they get Seinfeld in Denmark?

We here at Unplayable Lies take the high road at such times of personal loss, and can only wish both parties the strength to carry on.  But no one seems to give a damn about my loss, as I had plans to run this piece of comedy gold a few thousand more times:

They just seemed so perfect together.

Don't worry about me....I'll be OK....<sigh>.

Et Tu, Asia - Alas, it seems that Asia suffers from some of the same problems currently affecting American Society.  No, not high unemployment, slow economic growth or a depraved political class...something far more serious:

I know, the resemblance is uncanny.

Kiradech Aphibarnrat's drinks, smokes and hits the ball really far. It's not really a surprise that people call him "Asia's John Daly". Heck, his swing even looks like John Daly's. 

But it seems Aphibarnrat is taking a quick break from that persona. It's a long-standing custom for young Thai men to spend a week living as Buddhist monks as a sign of respect to their parents, so that's how Aphibarnrat, who turns 25 in July, decided to spend his week, according to the Asian Tour's website. He's also hoping it'll help him focus as he prepares to break into the U.S. Open. To do that, he'll need to jump from 83rd in the world rankings into the top 60 by June 9th. 

Aphibarnrat shaved his head, eyebrows and ditched his shoes. He reportedly woke up at 4:30 a.m. every morning to mediate, pray, clean and gather food (he was only allowed one meal a day).

Admit it, you're dying to see the "after" photo...Would I let you down?

I'd pay real money to see Long John give this a go.

These Guys Are Still Good - In his weekly Missing Links feature, John Strege shares a feel-good story of the qualification season:

Prominent club professional Bob Ford (Oakmont Country Club in the summer, Seminole Golf Club in the winter) is 60 now and still enters U.S. Open qualifying, though no longer with any expectation of actually succeeding. Yet he shot a one-under par 71 in local qualifying to advance to sectional qualifying.

Meanwhile, how's that for a couple of first-class gigs?

Maggot-Approved Content - Not sure what accounts for this video resurfacing but I had meant to post it a few days when Maggot e-mailed it to me.  I had seen it some time ago, but it's a,) good, and b.) Jack, so why not?  Brendan Mohler posted it this morning at The Loop, so here's his set-up:

You must see this putt to believe it. But first, the backstory. 

Jack Nicklaus, Johnny Miller, Tom Watson and Arnold Palmer played a ceremonial round in August 2010 to mark the grand opening of The Golf Club at Harbor Shores in Benton, Mich., a Nicklaus design that will host this week's Senior PGA Championship. Miller faced an uphill double-breaker of more than 100 feet on the 10th hole and wanted to chip the ball instead, but Nicklaus understandably didn't want a divot in his brand new green. Johnny further complained that chipping the ball was the only way to get it to the hole, so Nicklaus decided to show him how it's done.

Now, just watch and enjoy:

But how wacky is that green?

Jungle Bird Man, The Sequel - We like Shackelford because he focuses on things that matter, as per this post:

Environmental rights activist and sporting event-crasher Andrew Dudley, otherwise known as

I'd suggest that a baggie might not be adequate protective gear.

Jungle Bird Man, interrupted the ninth inning of Friday’s Nationals-Mets game and was thrown to the ground by a Nationals Park security guard. With one out in the top of the inning and closer Rafael Soriano on the mound facing Ruben Tejada, Jungle Bird Man raced onto the field from the first base side seats and ran the bases.

"Environmental rights activist" is giving this wacko way too much credit.  But for those that don't remember his contributions to the game of golf, his crashing of the 2012 U.S. Open award ceremony can be seen here.  By far the best part of that incident was his admission that he was able to crash the event by blending in with the media...

And in great moments in legal estoppel, take a look at this letter sent to Jungle Bird by the U.S.G.A. prior to the 2013 Open at Merion:

Can't you just hear Jon Lovitz (as Tommy Flanagan - The Pathological Liar) in the background mumbling, "Yeah, a legal notice, that's the ticket."

Design for Dweebs - Shackelford devotes a post to recent news and notes from the golf course design world, and we might as well shamelessly plagiarize piggyback on his efforts:

• Rio Loco - Rex Hoggard tells us that water is finally flowing to the course at Rio, though Shack hopes it's not this water:

Nico Delle Karth, an Austrian sailor preparing for the 2016 Summer Olympics, said it was the foulest place he had ever trained.

Garbage bobbed on the surface, everything from car tires to floating mattresses. The water reeked so badly of sewage that he was afraid to put his feet in it to launch his boat from shore.

“I’ve never seen anything like this before,” Mr. Delle Karth said of Guanabara Bay in Rio de Janeiro, where the Olympic sailing and windsurfing events will take place.

There was a report a few weeks ago that the IOC had consulted with London officials to see if they'd be capable of and/or interested in hosting the Olympics should Rio not be ready.  Quite the epic fail, but as the glass half-full optimist that I am, Sunningdale anyone?

• Cabo Loco - We previously noted the new Jack Nichlaus course opening in Cabo, and Geoff points us to this Golf Course Architecture item, most notable for its' photos.  We ran the photo of the cliffside Par-3, but here it's visible in greater resolution:

As Shackelford noted on Morning Drive, it's like something from a calendar on fictional golf holes.

 But take a look at this "efficient" routing:

Remember, this is the course with a three-quarter mile drive from the 4th green to the fifth tee.  The next man to walk this golf course will be...oh who am I kidding, no one will ever walk this course.

• Market in a Funk -  It's common knowledge that precious few new golf courses are being built, a market so bad that Tom Doak had to part ways with Jim Urbina.  So imagine for a moment you're the developer of a new course, and because there's no work around you have your choice of the best in the business... what a dilemma, do you go with Doak, Coore/Crenshaw or maybe Gil Hanse?  Errr...maybe not:

RainDance National Golf Club will be located less than three miles from its sister course – the Pelican Lakes Golf and Country Club near Windsor in the north-west of the state.

The course will be the first design by PGA Tour winner Fred Funk, who described the project as an ‘unbelievable opportunity’.

Really?  Fred "Effing" Funk?  Why, was John  Daly unavailable? The jokes just write themselves...

Funk is good friends with Water Valley’s CEO Martin Lind, and commented: “Martin offered it to me to be my first course. I wasn't shopping around looking for one, but I met him and he said ‘I want this to be your first signature course. I’m serious.’ I thought he was kidding.

Wow, not just a Fred Funk design, but a Fred Funk signature course!  The good news is that there'll be no long Par-4's.  But get this profound insight:

“We customize the design to the site,” said Minchew. “We don’t try to overcook anything. I want to go with the flow of the land. This particular piece of land has got my attention and I don’t want to screw it up because it’s so good.”

 Really?  Have you shared that first insight with anyone else?  Don't want you to be unnecesarily giving away the secret sauce.

•  Not Cricket - Lastly is the restoration of Philadelphia Cricket Club's historic Wissahickon Course, a Tillinhast gem (sorry for the redundancy).  Do check out the slideshow of before and after photos, but I certainly love this look:

PCC will host this year's PGA National Club Pro Championship, which Shack speculates could be a test run for a major.  Hate to burst such an interesting balloon, but no way the club pro event is a test run for a major.  Wake me up when they bring the Senior PGA there.