We've got a wide range of items on our plate this morning, from the serious to the frivolous... Shall we start with something guaranteed to put a smile on your face?
The Mini-Masters: We here at Unplayable Lies have flooded the zone in our coverage of the min-golf beat, but Neil Sagebiel beat me to this:
Oh the drama! And really, just a great read by Stevie...
The Cure For Your Back-Nine Blues - Shackelford puts into writing his thoughts on the back nine at The Loop, related to Nos. 11, 15 and 17:
11th: It just doesn't take a rocket scientist, brain surgeon or even a rocket surgeon to see that the swarm planted down the right side has made this hole difficult in a strange way. The patron experience is positively awful and the sight of golfers blowing drives way right and finding an opening in a mysterious gap that's been there from day one makes this an easy fix. Cue the tree spade and plant these trees out of play, as they don't deserve to die just because someone didn't read their Bobby Jones.
15th: The new length of this hole is just right, but the loss of fairway mounds and the addition of right side trees has taken the life out of this pivotal hole. No eagles Sunday? Blasphemy. The new Sunday hole location used the last two years is bringing the boring back of the green into play too much.
17th: In the upcoming feature story, I go into greater detail on the complicated issues facing the club in trying to replace Ike's Tree and make this hole interesting. In a nutshell, the advice we give in Golf World goes like this: plant a youngish tree where Ike stood so we can watch it grow. Deforest to open up the right side angle and overall freedom to whap a drive. Oh, and find a better Sunday hole location than the one this year that did not yield a single birdie.
Not to quibble, but I thought I heard that there was one birdie on No. 17 Sunday, though one player did say that the turf around the cup was purple. But the loss of those trees on Nos. 11 and 15 would be a blessing, and the mounds they used to have down the right side of No. 15 were a hoot.
One place Shack doesn't seem to go is the firmness and pace of the greens. We've been waiting quite a few years to see these conditions (he referred to them as "marble-staircase fast"), and no doubt were a factor in lack of final round back-nine fireworks.
Staying with the Masters, Golf Digest has a slideshow of the defining shots of the Masters:
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| Phil's first bunker shot at No. 12 on Friday. Making double without getting wet is pretty bad, but I would have gone with Thursday's dreadful chip on No. 7. |
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| Rory's second into No. 13 on Friday was ironic after asking Caroline to dye her hair to match the azaleas. A bad break, but nothing good was happening for him anyway. |
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| Bubba's second into No. 15 through the trees. Unfortunately, we really don't know how risky a shot it was. |
I've not previously commented on the Bubba shot above, which I think was likely less risky than Faldo's histrionics implied. As with his drive on No. 13, because the poo-bahs don't allow on-course reporters and/or a blimp overhead, we have only a limited understanding of these shots. No doubt the drive was gargantuan, we know that from his yardage in, but we don't know how risky a line it took or how close to clipping the trees it was.
Local Rules - I haven't had cause to link to David Owen in a bit, but his latest combines his two conspicuous talents, his knowledge of all things Augusta and his descriptions of his weekly golf games. In this case, his playing group continues their major tournament tradition of playing their Sunday matches using the scorecard from the course hosting that week's event, in this case a mid-1990's ANGC card.
My favorite bit was this:
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| The beta version of David's ANGC card. |
In 1996, I told Jackson Stephens, who was Augusta’s chairman at the time, that I thought the club ought to print a silhouette chart of the members’ jets on the back of the scorecard, so that a golfer on the course could identify whichever Gulfstream or Falcon or Challenger was passing overhead, on its way to Bush Field, and which friend, therefore, might be available for a second round, in the afternoon.
Great Minds... - I went back to find the Golf World cover from 2012 on Monday, but Shack shows us that the two major golf weeklies were on the same page this time:
If those don't bring a smile to your face, then you're a hopeless curmudgeon.
Ear Plugs Optional - Mike Walker confirms what we already feared knew, the 18th hole tower at Chambers Bay will house Joe Buck and Greg Norman. I didn't know this about Buck:
Buck is new to golf announcing as well, but he’s a veteran Fox Sports play-by-play guy, and part of the network’s so-called “A” team for football and baseball broadcasts. Buck is also a member of Old Warson Country Club in St. Louis, home club of new USGA president Tom O’Toole.
That's an interesting coincidence, though O'Toole was not, per this exhaustive Ron Sirak piece, deeply involved in the contract award.
As for Norman, I'm not particularly optimistic, especially as the 2015 U.S. Open will be their maiden voyage. That said, it's hard to see how he could be any worse than Sir Nick, though I'd have prefreed if they'd have let NBC keep it at least until Johnny is ready to hang them up.
I'm going to make a suggestion that will take many of my longtime golf friends by surprise, but the guy who should land an analyst gig is Colin Montgomerie. I know, I've had as much fun as the next guy in poking Mrs. Doubtfire over the years, but he's actually very good. Just keep an open mind, I was as surprised as you'll be.
Fun On Twitter - These crazy kids and their social media. Turns out that Lee Westwood and Ian Poulter have been having some fun at each other's expense. Poulter posted this pic of Lee:
And Lee countered with this of Ian channeling Kid Rock:
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| The Cobra logo is a nice touch. |
I'm Italian and I am a golfer,' says Silvio, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways.I have a glass of vino, and all is well.'"'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?''Who said my Father's dead?'The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?''He's 100 years old,' says Silvio. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little vino and that's why he's still alive. He's Italian and he's a golfer, too.''Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?''Who said my Nonno's dead?'Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?''He's 118 years old,' says the Old Italian golfer.The doctor is getting frustrated at this point,'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?''No, Nonno couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.'At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married? Why would a 118 year- old guy want to get married?''Who said he wantedto get married?"
Cute enough on its own merits, but the current Golf Digest includes a John Barton article on golf increasing life expectancy. Apparently researchers in Sweden analyzed death statistics and determined that mortality rates for golfers were only 60% of those for non-golfers, correlating to an extra five years of life expectancy.
I have no insights as to the validity of this study nor do I really believe that playing an excessive amount of golf will increase my life span, but why take chances? Wouldn't be prudent...
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