Not really enough here to justify using the valuable F&J brand, but Shackelford pulled an all-niter to produce a series of posts appropriate to the day, so why not go along for the ride:
- Trump national Pacific Gailes - Is the name Trump has in mind when he completes the purchase of Bandon Dunes Resort from Mike Keiser.
"I showed him video of one of Saddam Hussein's old palaces," Trump said. "You know, before we bombed the *&^% out of it with a real President in the White House. Keiser really liked the use of gold trim on the toilet seats and especially the gold-plated sink stoppers. Did you know they don't even have sink stoppers in the rooms at Bandon? It's a dump, let's be honest. I'll put some money into the place and make it the greatest resort on an ocean in the world, outside of Trump International Scotland. It'll be way better than Pebble Beach, St. Andrews, anything you can think of really. Except Trump International Scotland."
That's a reasonably good impression of the bombastic Trump, but the sink stopper reference is comedy gold, though requiring explanation. It dates back to a 2012 review of Bandon by the usually sober Ron Whitten, in which he skewers the accommodations because of the absence of sink stoppers. Shack was all over it in this post.
Curiously Shack opts for this photoshop effort:
Instead of this old favorite:
What, they don't have wind on the Oregon coast?
- Peace in our Time - In which we hear that the biggest feud in golf (well, the biggest not involving Stevie Williams) has been settled with the news that Brandel Chamblee will join Tiger's physical rehabilitation team during Masters week:
"I'm excited to join Tiger's team," Chamblee said in a statement released by Golf Channel. "I will be able to juggle my Live From duties with whatever he needs me to do to help his back. I'm also hoping I'll get a few opportunities to whisper in his ear about anything I see him doing wrong with his swing, which is pretty much everything."
That should work out well. No quibbles with the use of this photoshop effort, though Tiger does seem to be enjoying it way too much. The reader can insert his or her own happy ending joke.
- Short the Queen - Includes the sad news that the odds on Queen Elizabeth being the first woman member of the R&A have lengthened from 3:1 to 4:1, with the new favorite being...well, you'll just have to read the excerpt:
"We still feel the Queen is a solid choice at 4-1 after she opened at 3-1," said PaddyPower's director of international marketing, Ronan Lard. "Condoleeza has been a popular choice, which is why she's down to 6-1 after opening at 9-1. However Mr. Jenner, excuse me, the soon-to-be-Ms. Jenner, has been quite popular after he/she was seen playing golf at a charity event. The punters appear to think that having once had a penis sets her up nicely to be more relatable to the old boys at the Royal and Ancient."
Not exactly sure how this squares with Shack's outrage at the outing of Dr. V. way back when, but funny is funny.
- Task Forces Gone Wild - Lastly, this little nugget from the bureaucratic miasma that are our governing institutions:
Golf Digest Magazine--full disclosure: a partner of this blog--will be adding to its internationally-renowned ranking franchises by soon announcing a task force to rank golf's fastest growing marketplace: task forces charging themselves with growing the game.
"It's a hot growth industry and we think our readers will be very interested to learn which task force is doing the best job giving the impression they are doing a good job," confirmed Golf Digest Editor-in-Chief Jerry Tarde via email.
A Happy April Fools Day to all, especially my brother for whom it's his birthday.
No comments:
Post a Comment