There isn't a hole out there that can't be birdied if you just think. But there isn't one that can't be double-bogeyed if you stop thinking. BOBBY JONES on Augusta National
No doubt we'll see lots of each, as the festivities are already under way. But where to start?
- Kickoff - It was good fun watching the Big Three tweaking each other as they ambled around the Par
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| Arnie, shouldn't that be a darker shade of green? |
-3 course yesterday, though it does have a way of making us feel old. They've now fulfilled their obligations as honorary starters, and have earned the right to kick back and enjoy the next four days with the rest of us. Jack summed up his objectives thusly:
Jack Nicklaus said he accomplished the true goal in fulfilling his duties again as honorary starter at the
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Masters with Arnold Palmer and Gary Player on Thursday morning.
Don't hurt yourself and don't embarrass yourself.
It's a pretty easy room in that sense. Not sure there's anything these three gents could do to embarrass themselves. And for those who are more results oriented:
He certainly didn't do the latter. After Palmer and Player both successful found the fairway with their shots -- each to steady applause -- Nicklaus did the same, with his tee shot coming to rest just a yard or so past Player's.
"It's not bad," Player noted afterward, "because he used to outdrive me by 50 yards."
Gary told us earlier in the week that he was doing 200 sit-ups a day to ensure that he outdrove his playing partners, so we'll stay tuned to see if he toughens up the regimen for next year. Arnie was asked how long they intended to do it, and had this reply:
"As long as they keep asking."
Works for me...
- I Feel Your Payne - Billy Payne's annual State of Billy Payne press conference is a Wednesday tradition at the Masters, and nobody can pull it off with quite the élan of Billy Payne. There were only two items that qualify as news, no matter how low one sets the bar:
In the afterglow of the Drive, Chip and Putt competition Sunday, Augusta National Golf Club Chairman Billy Payne was in a jovial mood at his annual news conference Wednesday.
With few controversial issues on the docket and a year of Adam Scott as Masters Champion, Payne spent most of his time discussing the success of the Drive, Chip and Putt contest having received numerous positive comments from members on the Sunday competition.
Extremely happy with the competition and due to the success, Payne expressed that next year’s event will be dramatically expanded to 250 qualifying venues in all 50 states and allowing more than 50,000 kids to compete for their opportunity to play at Augusta National.
I don't pass up any shots at the stuffy poobahs in our sport, but this really was a great event and the Augusta folks were the ones that made it happen. The fact that it took the green jacket guys to think of something like this does not reflect well on those (I'm speaking to you, Mr. Bishop) in whose jurisdiction this would seem to fall. As relates to the recently deceased loblolly pine:
Payne expressed his dismay of the loss of the Eisenhower Tree on the 17th hole and while the tree was a strategic factor to the hole, the Chairman was more concerned about the loss of the link between President Eisenhower and the club.
No decision has been made on whether to replace the tree. At this point it makes sense to see how the hole plays in competition, as it's still a fairly tight driving hole.
Par-3 - I watched about half of the coverage of the Par-3, generating the same mixed feeling as ever. I've taken to calling it the second most painful day of televised golf, ceding the title to CBS' Saturday
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| Arnie's pink shirt seems to have become a Par-3 tradition. |
coverage from Pebble (isn't it well past time that Ray Romano be invited to play in the Par-3). It's no doubt a wonderful day for fathers to walk the course with their kids, it's just that by the 43rd cute urchin you've about had enough.
No, it's not because Moore favors a fade off the tee or because he's never finished better than T-13 in five trips to Augusta National, but rather because he played too well at Wednesday's Par-3 contest. Moore won by firing a six-under-par 21 and as those familiar with Masters history know, the Par-3 winner has never gone on to win the main event that week.
"I'm not afraid of it," Moore said. "You never know. Someone has got to break that curse at some point in time, so hopefully it's me, if I end up winning. Who knows? I might go shoot 8 under or something, make a couple hole-in-ones. We'll see."
Guy, to Masters guard: "Is it illegal to ask players for their autograph while they're
walking down this fairway?" Guard: "Yes, and there's no way they're gonna stop for you." Guy, whispering to his group of buddies: "You hit him low, and I'll hit him high. Let's knock him out."
And:
Woman, to guy standing next to her: "Webb Simpson is making his pregnant wife carry his clubs? Pig."
- Passov, Temporarily Reprieved - Travelin' Joe, whose job I covet, returns to my good graces with a fun slideshow of little known facts about ANGC. If you've been reading Unplayable Lies for the last few weeks, many of these tidbits are already known to you, but we're all killing time until CBS comes on at 3:00.
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| Wonder if they sell these on the Internet? |
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