Wednesday, April 9, 2014

'Dis and 'Dat

Alas, there's more content than time, or at least so it seems to this one-armed paper hanger.  Let's see if we can close some browser windows, shall we:
  • What Are You Wearing? - The AOL chatroom equivalent of "Do you come here often?" has reared its ugly head in the golf world.  Of course it started with Tiger, but now I'm receiving e-mails telling me what Steven Bowditch will be wearing for the Quad-Cities Pro-Am (joking of course, but just barely). 
Ryan Herrington gets it, and even tweaks his own magazine for this slideshow of Masters outfits.  If you're dying to know what Thorbjorn Olesen will be wearing with his white belt, click through.
Sergio obviously has no problem wearing white before Memorial Day, but those Friday pants seem a bit out of place.
 Tim Herron gives us the needed laugh by going hilariously off-script:
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Here’s what I’ll be wearing during tournament. Tumble dry low, everyone.


7:25 AM - 7 Apr 2014
As I've noted previously, my Theresa is awfully sweet on Lumpy.  If by any chance the Lumpster feels the same way, I just want Theresa to know that I won't stand in her way.
  • The Perils of Paulina - I'm sure that by now most have heard of the reaction to the Golf Digest cover featuring Paulina Gretzky.  The ladies were not amused, as the last folks sporting two "X" chromosomes to grace the covers of the national golf magazines were Kate Upton and Paulina.  I'm really quite sympathetic to them, as the latter was especially galling (Kate gets a pass because she was paying homage to the King).  It's not enough that her only connection to the sport is, you know, sleeping with a golfer, but the issue came out the week of the women's first major.
But being right about an issue and being right to bring up the issue are two entirely different matters.  For a more effective response, take a look at photographer Cy Cyr's homage to Walter Iooss' photo:
Theresa, is that Lumpy in the top row next to Paulina?
Remember ladies (and Commissioner Whan) it's called earned media for a reason. 
  • Guan in Sixty Seconds - Coleman McDowell brings us up to date on Guan Tianlang, the then 14-year old sensation of last year's Masters.  Turns out that Guan has been working with Sean Foley:
Guan, now 15, is meticulous in his practice sessions with Foley. After each shot he holds his follow-through until the ball hits the ground, analyzes the result and steps back to clean the dirt from his grooves before hitting another ball.
“One of the most deliberate practice players I’ve ever seen is Tiger [Woods], but I’ve never seen anyone like Guan at this age,” Foley says. “He may hit balls for two hours, but he might not hit more than 50 shots.”
In January, Guan missed the cut at the Sony, and this year he’ll watch the Masters like most people do—on TV, from his home in Guangzhou, China. He hopes to return to the Asia-Pacific Championship in October—the tournament he won to get to Augusta in 2013—and other top amateur events, including the China Open.
Ah, they grow up so quickly these days... 
  • Shots All Around - A fun golf.com slideshow of the Ten Greatest Masters shots can be found here:
Larry Mize breaking Norman's heart in 1987.  Do you think he's tired of looking at the clips of the ugly purple shirt?
See Phil, some white guys can jump.
They're all here, Phil's 6-iron from the pinestraw on No. 13, Sandy Lyle's 7-iron from the fairway bunker on No. 18, Sarazen's albatross (as well as King Louis') and Bubba's gap wedge that hooked 115 yards (maybe I exaggerate).  The only shot that comes to mind that perhaps should have made the list is Crenshaw's massive putt from the front of the tenth green.  Can anyone identify other significant omissions?
  • Augusta in My Future? - Recovering from being punk'd last time, I took the latest golf.com quiz to determine my suitability for membership at Augusta National.  Yeah, I know, I'd never get past the foreskin detectors at the entry gate.  However, this time they were smart enough to flatter a reader by concluding that I'm a perfect fit for Pine Valley.  One more bad answer and it coulda been Bushwood.
  • Predictions - Jason Sobel makes some Masters predictions in this Golf Channel post.  No choice but to excerpt this one, given my lede above:
7. One renegade player will buck the system. No, I'm not suggesting anyone will break any long-standing traditions at Augusta. I'm saying they'll go against their pre-tournament scripting. Someone will wake up one morning and think, "I don't feel like wearing periwinkle pants" or "This flat-billed fuchsia hat looks stupid." It will be noticed by exactly one very worrisome PR consultant in a Park Ave. corner office – and absolutely nobody else.
And for some reason this one reminds me of my dear friend Mark W.:
12. One of your friends will text you the following message: "I'm going with a total dark horse to win – Jason Day!" You will respond by reminding your friend that he is ranked fourth in the world, owns two top-three finishes here in the last three years and is actually amongst the favorites. Want a dark horse? Go pick Derek Ernst.  
 He then goes on to rate the field from 1-98.  For those curious, his Top Ten looks like this:
1. Rory McIlroy: Fresh off a final-round 65 in Houston, on a course tailor-made for his game, McIlroy might be the rare favorite to win the green jacket. If he does, consider the consequences: He will be three-quarters of the way to a career Grand Slam … at age 24.
2. Sergio Garcia: Talk about trending in the right direction: In the last four years, he’s gone from 45th to 35th to 12th to eighth at this event. Oh, and those famous putting struggles? He ranks 32nd on Tour – and was eighth last year and 26th the year before that. He’s due.
3. Keegan Bradley: He’s been close without seriously contending, playing well without playing great. But hey, isn’t the whole idea to peak during the major championships instead of before them? Bradley seems primed to improve on last year’s disappointing finish.
4. Matt Kuchar: Failing to close out victories on each of the last two Sunday afternoons might not bode as a good omen for Kuchar, but he’s clearly trending in the right direction. He already has five top-10s in eight starts this year. Hard to imagine another isn’t coming this week.
5. Phil Mickelson: What happens when you win a green jacket? It makes the next one easier. And the one after that even easier. For a guy who normally plays with a nothing-to-lose attitude anyway, this has only increased at Augusta. Oh, and all of his wins? They’ve come in even-numbered years.
6. Jason Day: Here’s a good rule of, uh, thumb before the Masters: Don’t injure your thumb ahead of time. Not because it will hamper your performance, but because you’ll be asked endless questions about it. As for the answer? He’s fine – and he absolutely loves this course.
7. Harris English: Ask around PGA Tour circles and you’ll find that while Patrick Reed is the guy who says he’s a top-five player, English is the one who everyone else says is a (potential) top-five player. He owns the proper patience and mental makeup to play very well this week.
8. Adam Scott: The defending champion isn’t just confident this week, he truly believes he’ll be taking his green jacket back down Magnolia Lane again Sunday night. He would have some lofty company. Only Nicklaus, Faldo and Woods have won back-to-back Masters titles.
9. Henrik Stenson: Six months ago, the question wasn’t whether he’d win a major this year, but how many. Last year’s FedEx Cup champion has cooled off a bit, but that doesn’t mean he can’t make a good run this week. He’s considered among the game’s best ball-strikers – and this is considered a second-shot golf course.
10. Patrick Reed: Say what you will about his confidence, but it sure won’t hurt him having loads of it this week. Also helping is the fact that he owns a high draw ball flight. “Go out and play your game, stick to your game plan, and that seems to be working for me,” he said. “I'm going to try to do that this week.”
Sergio and Keegan at Nos. 2 and 3 strike me as a shorting opportunity, though for the record the aforementioned Mark W. picked Sergio to win.  And for those who like such things, here's the bottom of his list:
91. a-Garrick Porteous: Reigning British Amateur champion has made the cut in one of five career starts in pro events.
92. Larry Mize: Augusta native has missed the cut in each of the last four years.
93. a-Chang-woo Lee: Asia-Pacific Amateur champion had a win and a runner-up in Korea last year.
94. Craig Stadler: As he said Monday: “I'm just going to be out there slashing around, trying to make the cut.”
95. Ian Woosnam: Only one made cut at this tournament since 2001.
96. a-Michael McCoy: At age 50, became the second-oldest Mid-Am champion last year.  
97. Sandy Lyle: Last year, I listed the 1988 champion last on this list. When he made the cut, Jason Dufner chided me on Twitter for having the gall to undervalue his talents. So I’m placing Lyle in the same spot once again this year. Not to undervalue him, but to provide motivation – and fodder for his peers when he proves me wrong again.
For those that care, Derek Ernst came in at No. 90, a dark horse indeed.  And, speaking of horses... 
  • I Got the Horse Right Here - Alex Myers and Luke Kerr-Dineen channel Stubby Kaye with a Masters betting guide.  Mind you, it didn't rain last night, the handicapper's sincerity is in doubt and I don't think any of these guys can trace their lineage back to Equipoise, so I went straight to the prop bets:
Luke: Will Patrick Reed Finish in the Top 20 at the 2014 U.S. Masters? Yes, 2.5/1
Patrick Reed may be a rookie at Augusta, but he's a really good one. Aside from winning three times in less than eight months, he played the course more than most of the other rookies (he got to play there while he was at Augusta State) and has the long driving-solid putting combination that tends to thrive at the Masters.
Jason Day, Dustin Johnson, Bubba Watson, Matt Kuchar v The Field, 5/1
Taking four guys over the field is always a little risky (unless it's the year 2000 and you're betting on Tiger Woods), but DJ, Kuchar and Day are some of the tournament's heaviest favorites. Bubba isn't exactly a slouch, either, and he obviously knows how to play the course. Sign me up for this one.
Alex:
Low South African - Ernie Els, 6/1
Charl Schwartzel at 6/5 and Louis Oosthuizen at 11/4 are the only two players listed ahead of Els, who is a two-time Masters runner-up and finished T-13 last year. His last major win also came more recently than those claimed by his fellow countrymen.
Top rookie - Derek Ernst, 100/1
Ernst has been brutal since he shocked the golf world and won at Quail Hollow last year. That being said, he's still a young PGA Tour pro and he's getting nearly four times the odds of the next PGA Tour pro rookie, Stephen Bowditch (28/1).
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