Flotsam and Jetsam™ - Monday Morning Edition - UPDATED

Lots of this and that piling up.  Shall we start with the highbrow stuff?

• Things That Never Get Old - Epic cart fails are the gifts that keep giving for bloggers such as yours truly.  This one is courtesy of Golf Channel's Grill Room feature:

As a matter of pure self interest I need to remember to put the epic cart fail GIFs last in these F&J posts, as it's extremely hard to type with the cart hitting the guy in orange every 2 seconds.  You'd think that after a few times he'd wise up, but it's not to be.

• Good Neighbors -  There's a long history of contentious relationships between golf clubs and their neighbors.  John Strege reports on the latest such tussle involving prestigious Los Angeles Country Club, whose George Thomas-designed North Course will host the 2017 Walker Cup.  Usually these spats involve neighbors discovering to their dismay that golfers don't always hit their shots on the intended line.  This one, however, 

At issue, is a 280-foot long, 150 to 166-foot high mesh fence that LACC said it wants to build to prevent golf balls from pelting the buildings and thus reducing its liability.

So, it seems like the club just wants to take proactive measures to prevent incoming to those on the perimeter, right?  So, who could object to that?

In the other corner is BH Wilshire International, a development company that paid $148.3 million for 7.57 acres adjacent to the 16th hole of LACC's South Course, for the purpose of building two high-rise condominium buildings.

"Specifically," BHWI stated in its appeal, "LACC's apparent plan is to permit a fence so massive and visually unattractive that it will block views and cast excessive shade on the new buildings, thereby inhibiting BH Wilshire's ability to sell condominiums."

Seems like this should be easy to solve with a waiver of liability, assuming that it would be binding upon the purchasers of said condo units.  

• Crime Wave -  Alex Myers reports on a British crime wave that might prove troubling for golf tourism:

The good news is that Daniel Lloyd and Joe McCaughey have been caught. The bad news is it came after the pair stole golf clubs and other valuables from lockers at 36 courses in England, according to the United Kingdom's National Crime Agency. 

The report states the two simply dressed as golfers and entered golf clubs to commit their crimes. And while evidence from 36 of their burglaries was used in their trial, officers believe the two could have stolen from as many as 1,000 lockers, taking goods worth more than $1 million in golf clubs alone.

That's a lot of golf clubs, even assuming they're valued at full retail.  I'd just like to state for the record that while it might be prudent to check his passport for a U.K. stamp, that I don't believe this fits David Owens' MO, as I believe he was in the Maryland heist for the steaks.

This reminds me of this amusing story from last summer of thieves targeting the locker rooms at top clubs such as Baltusrol, Plainfield and Canoe Brook.  

The main suspect in last summer's crime wave.

What I found amusing was that the suspect was seen walking through the Baltusrol parking lot wearing a golf glove because, isn't that what golfers do?  Me, I think it's weird enough when guys don't take off their glove to putt.

• The Trials of Jobe -  Another item I missed, but John Strege informs us of the passing of Frank Jobe last week at age 88:

Dr. Frank Jobe was best known for performing the first ulnar collateral ligament reconstruction, more widely known as Tommy John surgery, that resurrected many baseball careers, but he also left his mark on golf, too. 

Jobe, who died on Thursday, was instrumental in introducing the fitness trailer to the PGA Tour. At the time, he was researching how a training regimen might help golfers and later authored a book on the subject, "Thirty Exercises for Better Golf."

Jobe also was responsible for detecting the cancer in Paul Azinger's shoulder:

Jobe also was involved in the detection and treatment of the cancer in Paul Azinger's right shoulder. In the summer of 1993, the year he won three times, including the PGA Championship, Jobe, concerned with Azinger's unrelenting pain in his right shoulder, suggested he get a biopsy.

"He's unbelievable," Azinger told Golf World contributor Bob Verdi in December of 1993. "Dr. Jobe worked on my shoulder in 1991, when I was having problems. He cleaned it out, removed a small sliver of bone, tested it for cancer. Negative. Since then, he'd been all over me to come in again. He was after me like I was his son. He treated me like his son. And when he told me the results of the latest biopsy, you'd have thought I was his son. But, I think we got it in time, thanks to him."

• There's a Bunker Joke in Here Somewhere - Peter Finch informs us of a golf travel company called Cavalry + Company, which features play at such hard-to-get tee times as Kabul Golf Club and Beirut Golf Club.

The opening tee shot at Kabul Golf Club.  Doesn't strike me as particularly exotic, as it looks remarkably similar to our 7th tee by about mid-June.

Here's the deal:

These trips start out soaked in luxury, with stays at the One & Only Palm and the Four Seasons hotels in Dubai. Travelers will play a handful of courses there, including Emirates Golf Club and Jumeirah Golf Estates, site of the Dubai World Championship.

Then -- to put it in golfer terms -- the wheels come off. Next thing you know, you and your "special forces guides" are jetting off to Afghanistan or Lebanon.

"The most intimidating round in golf," the company's website declares of Kabul Golf Club.

"Tee off in Hezbollah's backyard," it says about Beirut Golf Club.

I have to admit, the ramifications of a bad shot in "Hezbollah's backyard" could be intimidating. 

• Don't Go There -  Golf.com provides putting advice from Top 100 teacher Marius Filmalter, who leads with this pearl about selecting a putter:

Your putter should be like your life partner: Sexy, snazzy and classy.

Ummm, it's hard to imagine that anyone who had a life partner could, you know, get away with that analogy.  We would all readily acknowledge the importance of the look of the putter, but one man's Kate Upton is another's two-bagger.

Filmalter does make one point that's worth further thought, namely that putters with soft inserts give insufficient feedback necessary for distance control.   I want to cogitate on that thought a bit, but any resemblance between my TaylorMade Spider Blade and the Little Irish Girl™ is, as they say, completely coincidental.

• SIG+D - Still the worst acronym in golf, but a more interesting issue this week.  First this great photo in the Teeing Off feature:

Tom Bond playing a shot in the New Zealand Open at the Hills Golf Club.  The course features twelve art installations, including this one called The Wolves are Coming by Chinese artist Liu Ruowang.  No information is provided about local rules.

Gary Van Cynical's contribution is titled Twilight of the Gods, acknowledging that Tiger and Phil's days of being consistent winners could be waning.  Fair enough as it goes, but Unplayable Lies readers have been listening to me beat on that specific drum since Post 1.  

Alan Shipnuck waxes nostalgically about the 2005 epic dual of Tiger and Phil at Doral.   One of the few negatives about our beloved game is that there are precious few times that we get to see the alpha dogs slug it out eyeball-to-eyeball.  We can only hope that the planets will align again, preferably at Augusta or perhaps Pinehurst.

Cameron Morfitt posits that your Masters fantasy pick should be found amongst the high finishers at Doral, citing the usual suspects such as Scott, Watson and Schwartzel.  OK, that should be good news for DJ, Bubba and Jamie Donaldson.  Though it is, you know, a new course at Doral this year, so your mileage may vary.

• Prediction Fail -  Not only did I finish in a disappointing 385th place in the Golfweek Fantasy Challenge for the WGC Cadillac, but I note that Inbee Park won the ladies event in China, holding off Suzann Pettersen.  So much for my astute prediction that Inbee was the next Yani.  

UPDATE:  I'm pleased to report that Al Z. has resumed his proofreading duties, fortunate for those of you who read the posts after corrections have been made.

In this case he also writes with a comment on the putter post above, speculating that the Little Irish Girl™ might also object to a soft insert.  He'll be here (or somewhere) all week, folks.  

I'll anxiously await his corrections to this update.