Sunday Stuff

My East Coast readers are enjoying a twofer....unnaturally warm weather allows for December golf (Employee No. 2 will be out later this morning) and the ski season schedule allows for weekend blogging.  Win-win, baby!

However, there's a price to be paid for this bounty as tomorrow is a travel day, so any Wrap, Weekend will be on a delayed basis.

Hero Stuff - Our Bubba is on cruise control, breaking the Albany course record that stood for....well, minutes:

NASSAU, Bahamas (AP) -- Bubba Watson holed out with a 7-iron for eagle and tied the

course record with a 9-under 63 Saturday to build a two-shot lead after three rounds at the Hero World Challenge. 

Watson tied the record at Albany Golf Club set 10 minutes earlier by Paul Casey, who made nine birdies in his first 13 holes before closing with five pars for his 63 that left him two shots behind.

I've watched a bit of the proceedings, though in DVRing it I missed yesterday's jump to NBC, i.e., the important part.  The funny thing is that in watching one is struck by how they struggle with the grain, on the greens but especially in chipping and putting on the fringes.  Bubba notably told us earlier in the week that the track doesn't suit his eye, yet he's nineteen under.

There's been a bunch of video highlights worth sharing, though most are in formats I need a teenager to teach me how to embed.  Many, like this Bubba classic of the genre, involve the many waste areas:

I believe that commentary is the very definition of Praise from Caesar.  This Bill Haas recovery is one that I'd have not attempted:

And how about Damian Green putting the silly in Silly Season:

Of course that's reminiscent of the moves he threw down on the home green at The Open Championship, which is not the slightest bit silly.

Should be a fun finale later today, as long as we don't take it too seriously...

Romance in the Air - Rory is presumably having a good time in Paris, tweeting photos such as this:

But also making news:

Just a year after his first engagement came to an abrupt halt, Rory McIlroy has reportedly popped the question again. 

According to the Irish Independent, McIlroy proposed to girlfriend Erica Stoll – possibly on a recent trip to Paris – and the two are now engaged.

Stoll, 27, and McIlroy, 26, had been dating for over a year, reportedly starting together last fall before first officially being seen together around New Year's at Ashford Castle last year, and the World No. 3 set off suspicions of an engagement when he posted this Facebook photo of the Eiffel Tower on Wednesday night:

I'm not sure why that photo set of suspicion, but Erica might want to consider eloping....  Rory's mind can wander right after those invitations go out.

As we always do when there's news of the couple, a reminder of the circumstances under which they met....Stoll was at the time working for the PGA of America and arranged the police escort that got Rory to his Sunday tee time at Medinah.  She'll be welcome in the Euro team room no doubt.

And in other affairs of the heart...

Stacy Lewis said yes to Houston coach Gerrod Chadwell on the grounds of her beloved

Arkansas. It was game day for the Razorbacks, and Chadwell had convinced Lewis to give him a campus tour. Only it was pouring rain, and Chadwell wasn’t sure if she’d even get out of the truck, let alone go hunt for her name on the university’s senior walk. 

Soaked up to their knees and huddled under an umbrella, Lewis found her name etched into stone moments before 38-year-old Chadwell popped the question. They celebrated on Nov. 27 with friends and family in a private skybox, watching Arkansas romp Missouri, 28-3. In a year where victory had eluded America’s top golfer, life couldn’t have been more sweet. 

“There are no surprises with her,” said Chadwell, who knew better than to propose to the introverted Lewis on the Jumbotron at Razorback Stadium or, worse yet, on the field. 

Perfection.

Expect to see him as a HAB at future Solheim Cups.

 Schedule This - Have you heard about the Tour's new Strength of Schedule rule?  Why, do you have a life or something?  Here's the skinny:

According to an e-mail sent to players on Tuesday, the circuit’s new “strength of field regulation” will mandate a Tour member add at least one tournament he had not participated in during the previous four seasons. 

Under the new policy, which was approved at the policy board’s final meeting on Nov. 22, any player who participated in 25 or more official money events during the current or previous season is exempt from the requirement.

OK, one can see certain sponsors advocating for this, and Todd Lewis and the GC gang slap as much lipstick as they can on the pig here.  But I didn't even need my Nurse Ratched decoder ring to discern the significance of this move, as it was a couple of 'graphs down in that linked Rex Hoggard piece:

Players who don’t meet the new requirement will be subject to a “major penalty,” which under the Tour’s regulations would be a fine in excess of $20,000 or possible suspension.

Rex, you've got a funny way of spelling meaningless penalty.  Seriously,  any player sufficiently prominent to move the needle for a sponsor, tips the locker room attendant more than that each week.

Rex also caught this curious quote from the Commish discussing a related issue:

On Wednesday at the Hero World Challenge, PGA Tour commissioner Tim Finchem was asked if those appearance fees and the overseas exodus of some marquee players they cause is a concern. 

“There isn't anything happening out there that would say the guidelines are starting to get pushed by players in typically unique situations,” Finchem said. “Certain places have a fair amount of appearance money and it can in turn go to the player's head.”

Heaven forfend!   These guys might think they're special or something...

On a related note, Shack had posted on an interview with new Euro Tour majordomo Keith Pelly, and see what you think of his characterization of his purview as entertainment:

(h/t Shack for the screen shot)

Here's Geoff's quick take on it:

I hate to encourage a man who owns more than one pair of blue-framed glasses, but it's hard not to get excited reading John Hopkins' Global Golf Post Q&A with new European Tour Chief Keith Pelley. 

Why? 

He's punching all of the buttons that Tim Finchem covers with duct tape, belly-flopping if he has to: faster play, golfers as entertainers first, a global tour, etc...

I mostly agree, though with an obvious concern.  It is a sporting competition, and the underlying integrity has to be guarded.  But Pelley does understand that he has multiple constituencies that need to be provided a reason to support his enterprise.

Venue Updates -  The USGA announced venues for 2019, and they hit a home run... First, the ladies will play their Open at The Country Club of Charleston:

FAR HILLS, N.J. (Dec. 1, 2015) – The United States Golf Association (USGA) has

selected the Country Club of Charleston in Charleston, S.C., to host the 2019 U.S. Women’s Open Championship, to be conducted May 30-June 2. 

This will be the second USGA championship conducted at the Country Club of Charleston. The club previously hosted the 2013 U.S. Women’s Amateur Championship, won by Emma Talley, 2 and 1, over Yueer Cindy Feng.

I watched that final round match, and it's a strong choice.

Additionally they're taking the Mid-Am to Colorado Golf Club:

FAR HILLS, N.J. (Dec. 3, 2015) – The United States Golf Association (USGA) today announced Colorado Golf Club, in Parker, Colo., as the host site for the 2019 U.S. Mid-Amateur Championship. This will be the first USGA championship contested at the club. The dates for the championship are Sept. 21-26. 

“The USGA is pleased to bring a championship to Colorado Golf Club for the first time,” said Diana Murphy, USGA vice president and Championship Committee chairman. “The course has a proven record in both stroke-play and match-play competition, and the variety of risk-reward options will allow for exciting and dramatic play, helping to identify a champion worthy of hoisting the Robert T. Jones Jr. Memorial Trophy.”

Designed by Bill Coore and two-time Masters champion Ben Crenshaw, Colorado Golf Club opened for play in 2007. The 1,700-acre property was once an Arabian horse ranch and features views of Colorado’s Front Range, dominated by Pikes Peak, Mount Evans and Longs Peak. The course plays through open meadows, foothills of ponderosa pine, natural gullies and streams. Coore and Crenshaw also created a nine-hole short course and 7,000-square-foot short game area to complement the championship course.

We saw this venue host the 2013 Solheim Cup, and it's pretty spectacular.  The only caveat is that it'll be a tough walk for the old guys...

And remember the contretemps over the redesign of Torrey Pines' North Course.  Joe Passov has the breaking news:

Tom Weiskopf has won the bid to re-do Torrey Pines (North), co-host of the PGA Tour’s Farmers Insurance Open. 

Sources close to the deal told GOLF.com that Weiskopf and his design firm, Tom Weiskopf Designs, along with Wadsworth Construction, have been selected on a “design build” contract with the City of San Diego/Parks and Recs to renovate the North course, one of the country's busiest and most scenic municipal courses.

They could have done far worse for sure....though the process has been more than a little strange, causing our Shack to get off this good one:

After Phil Mickelson was ruled ineligible by a pending ruling related to governmental rules, the job to remodel Torrey Pines North was opened to contractors who then brought in an architect to join their bid. Meanwhile it was all done in a secret process, though Tod Leonardhad reported some (Tom Weiskopf, Robert Trent Jones) but not all of the names of architects who were attached to the contractors (Natalie Gulbis!).

The entire thing has been done in secret, which is probably best in a time of drought since the entire process makes one yearn for a long shower.

I have no idea about that Natalie Gulbis reference, but that's why I say they could have done worse.  But the project is unfortunately limited in scope:

The renovation budget for Weiskopf's team is roughly $12.6 million. They will rebuild all 18 greens and rework the greenside bunkers. All the tees will be leveled, with some enlarged and others combined. Other planned enhancements include a new set of forward tees, several new back tees for tournament use and reshaped and relocated fairway bunkers. Approximately five acres of existing turf will be removed and replaced with a drought-tolerant landscape pallet.

The renovation will also include new cart paths and a new irrigation system to help maximize water efficiency. There will be no major alterations to the par or routing, but Weiskopf may look to find a worthy candidate to transform into a drivable par-4, one of the designer's trademarks.

It's a fairly dreary routing except for that brief moment on the front nine when you can see the Pacific.  Unfortunately, this means that they'll never blow the place up and start from scratch.

Black Lab Blogging -  I'm sure you're dying to catch up on my ski buddies,  Yesterday was the first reunion of the FOGs with full attendance.  

Mitch has an addition to the family, a black lab named, curiously, Doug.  Gotta admit I've never met a dog with that moniker, but I worry that the other dogs will make fun of him... you know how cruel they can be.

Apparently Mitch had Doug swimming in the little pond within a dog park and was given a $500 citation for Doug allegedly attacking ducks.  I know, it's outrageous, so Mitch fought it in court and, in his telling of the story, opened his defense with the claim that they wouldn't be there if Doug were a white lab.  Funny for sure, but I'll need a corroborating witness to believe he actually used that on the judge.

But he also provided this amusing and oh-so-topical picture of Doug:

Seer why I have so much fun out here?

Wither Tiger, An Update

Those with us from inception may remember this original Wither Tiger post that I think holds up

pretty well two years on.  Though it may be difficult for those reading it at the present time to remember that I was discussing a player coming off a five-win season that included the Players and was the No. 1 ranked player in the world.  I know, ancient history....

As noted recently, Lorne Rubenstein, author of A Season in Dornoch and other notables, is most certainly not retired from golf writing.  He's so not retired that he scored quite the get, a long sitdown with former (we kid) professional golfer Tiger Woods.  The session lasted some 2 1/2 hours and there's much of interest in it, and I'll give Tiger props for a level of candor and introspection not previously demonstrated.

That said, there are some obvious howlers mixed in, and I'm guessing that you come here more for those, so do please read the whole thing.  Shall we have at it?

Do you watch golf?

I can’t remember the last time I watched golf. I can’t stand it. Unless one of my friends has a chance to win, then I like watching it. I watched Jason [Day] win the PGA. But it was on mute. It’s always on mute and I have some other game on another TV.

On mute?  That's gonna piss of few folks off no doubt...

How do you feel about the way the media have covered you?

There’s no accountability in what they say. And what they say, it’s like it’s gospel, there’s no source behind it. Nothing like, yeah, I talked to X number of players, I talked to this player, this player, this player. It’s none of that. It’s just, some of the announcers, they don’t even go on the golf course. And they look at a pin sheet from the booth, but they’ve never surveyed the golf course, even though the television coverage doesn’t come on until the afternoon. You have all that time to go walk the golf course, to see some of the early rounds, see what guys are doing, how they’re hitting it, how’s the course playing, is the wind coming up? All those different things that you could do. The only one who does that is Finchy [golf broadcaster and former PGA Tour pro Ian Baker-Finch].

Shack puts in the rebound by noting the omission of good buddy Notah Begay in the carve-out.  But wait, there's more:

How do you handle the speculation about you?

One, you don’t listen to it. And two, in today’s world, you don’t go online.

You mean like you did with the Dan Jenkins faux-interview which you rebutted on Derek Jeter's website?  Never mind.... 

You don’t read what’s written about you? Was there a time when you did?

Not really. And that has served me well. It has served me well. Like my dad said when I was young, Were any of these guys there? If anybody has any kind of perspective on it, it would be the caddy. He saw the shot, he understood what the circumstances were. Other than that, there’s nobody else. So what’s their take on it? Who cares? They weren’t there. They didn’t see how difficult it was, what’s going on.

So then it makes sense for Stevie to write a book, seeing as how he's the only one that saw what you saw?   And this strains credulity:

How would you characterize your relationship with the media over the years?

I have a lot of good friends in the media. Guys I’ve gone out to dinner with on countless occasions. With respect. There’s also a flip side of people that I really don’t care for. Hey, they made their career being negative and being outlandish. They’ve made a career out of it. But that’s their take. They’ve almost created a character, per se.

I guess Steve Elling is in that latter category, 'cause he tweeted this:

 

Steve Elling‏@EllingYelling

Open question to all golf media: If you've gone out to dinner with Tiger Woods "countless times," please raise your hand. I'll wait.

That concludes our review of the howlers he told Lorne, but you should read it for the areas in which he was more forthcoming...at least I'd like to credit him for that,  Here's a quick sampling of those:

Do you have any recovery goals? With past injuries, you have.

Absolutely. But this one, I can’t. There’s no timetable. And that’s a hard mind-set to go through. Because I’ve always been a goal setter. Now I had to rethink it, and say, O.K., my goal is to do nothing today. For a guy who likes to work, that’s a hard concept for me to understand. I’ve learned a little bit of it, I think. I know that, one, I don’t want to have another procedure. And two, even if I don’t come back and I don’t play again, I still want to have a quality of life with my kids. I started to lose that with the other surgeries.

He also tells this vivid tale that I certainly hope is true:

Because you couldn’t do things with them?

I’ll never forget when I really hurt my back and it was close to being done, I was practicing out back at my house. I hit a flop shot over the bunker, and it just hit the nerve. And I was down. I didn’t bring my cell phone. I was out there practicing and I end up on the ground and I couldn’t call anybody and I couldn’t move. Well, thank God my daughter’s a daddy’s girl and she always wants to hang out. She came out and said, “Daddy, what are you doing lying on the ground?” I said, “Sam, thank goodness you’re here. Can you go tell the guys inside to try and get the cart out, to help me back up?” She says, “What’s wrong?” I said, “My back’s not doing very good.” She says, “Again?” I say, “Yes, again, Sam. Can you please go get those guys?”

Now we just have the words on paper, but he certainly made a believer of Lorne as per this Morning Drive interview.   And the MD crew has a follow-up discussion of the interview here.

As to the picture of Tiger and Elin as "best friends", the reader is on his or her own there...

In other Tiger-related news we have Jaime Diaz reacting to his presser, though likely before the extensive interview with Rubenstein.  The header tells you all you need to know:

Forget the resignation in Tiger's voice when he talks about his future. Instead listen to the relief

The Jaime rules are in full force, to wit that you'd be remiss in not reading the whole thing, in which he makes the case that a complete break from golf may be the tonic that restores Tiger.  We might just find out, since for physical reasons he's doing exactly that.  But it seems far more likely that an extended absence would erode skills, and the question remains whether his body will ever allow him to be Tiger Woods again.

This is Diaz's close, something new to me:

At least some retroactive light resulted from Woods’ words, an instantly more vivid

memory of how incredibly good Woods was. So good, it immediately began an era. Late on Sunday afternoon at the 1997 Masters, with Woods increasing his double-digit lead on the back nine, Ben Crenshaw took in the electric but also eerie atmosphere and captured the meaning. “It’s like a passing,” he said softly. 

On Tuesday, it didn’t take Crenshaw’s elevated sensibility to have the same thought.

The '97 Masters as a passing?  That's more than passing strange, no?  Is he possibly confusing it with the prior year's death march?

Teddy Greenstein in the Chicago Trib goes for the Achilles:

A washed-up Tiger Woods has only himself to blame

He’s walking away as the greatest talent the game has seen -- a 14-time major champion before his 33rd birthday. He also leaves a TMZ-stained legacy of lies and indiscretions. 

Woods’ career tanked around the time his SUV careened into a fire hydrant, an angry wife chasing him out the door. Until that moment, no one reported on his bad qualities -- he’s a lousy tipper, ungenerous with his time, habitually blowing off autograph-seeking kids and oblivious to the early warnings regarding overtraining. 

Hank Haney and Stevie Williams got blistered for writing hyper-critical accounts, but what does it say about Woods that the three people closest to him (swing instructor, caddie, wife) turned away in such public fashion?

And his close:

There’s some sadness today in knowing that “a pretty good run” has all but ended. But mostly there’s a feeling that Woods brought a lot of this emptiness upon himself.

Now Greenstein as well was likely writing before seeing Tiger's long interview, which provides the obvious contrast.  Tiger admits that he brought much of this on himself , and seems to have filled that emptiness with his children....Now, whether that's more credible than his having had dinner with golf writers countless times, therein lies the paradox...

In post-interview reactions, Joel Beall offers six reasons that Tiger isn't done.  Joel makes many valid points, though this one sin't among them:

Tiger is too old to make a comeback

Tiger turns 40 later this month. That number is not a death sentence in golf, as plenty of players have enjoyed success after this milestone. Vijay Singh won 22 times in his 40s. Davis Love III grabbed the Wyndham Championship at age 51 this season. Everyone knows Jack Nicklaus was 46 in his historic Masters victory in 1986, but many forget a 58-year-old Golden Bear was damn close to putting on the green jacket a seventh time in 1998. Throw in Tom Watson's near-miss at Turnberry in 2009, and there's enough evidence to suggest Woods has some time to work with.

The lawyers would characterize that 'graph as an admission against interest.  The fact that in the long history of our game only two players, Veej and The Slammer, had productive careers in their forties is quite telling, especially since neither of those guys had injury issues.  Yes there are some one-offs, and Tiger fits that profile well, but the focus on his age is appropriate.

Curmudgeonly James Corrigan is having none of that, though, starting with the header:

Tiger Woods is now beyond pitiful - golf is taunting him

Woods was often ridiculed for limping into media centres, clutching a form-sheet as

wretched as his medical notes, and insisting he was there “to win”, while vehemently denying anything whatsoever had changed in his outlook. It was the only certainty that was left with Tiger, the red-shirted one who was always such a certainty on those Sunday afternoons. Well, hey, the physique was in tatters but at least the psyche was still intact.

Yet now it has followed his frame and begun to fall apart. When the question came, Woods not only veered off the script of the past six years, he yanked at the steering wheel and sent his career inexorably up that road to retirement. “There is nothing really I can look forward to,” Woods said, his clear discomfort as much to do with the admission as much as his aching back.

Good work there James, now I'm depressed. 

Udder Stuff

Tomorrow will be a travel day, so you'll have to muddle through without me.

Ski Blogging - I'll be making my first turns on Friday, but don't expect any proper ski blogging here until later in the season.  But to kick off the season I'll use a moment of personal privilege to brag on my nephew Zack, with whom we had dinner last night..

Zachy's first appearance on YouTube was this amateurish video I took when he was all of 8-years old:

Now 16, Zachy's the 91st ranked mogul skier (61st among juniors) in these United States.  Here's his highlight reel from last season:

It's hard to believe that I share genetic material with that....

Footwear Blogging - In our Weekend Wrap we shared a photo of the rather comely Melissa Weber Jones, a former Miss Idaho.  Maggot left a comment on that post that he wouldn't kick her out of bed for eating crackers, though I might be paraphrasing.

But we missed something, so your thanks go to Alex Myers in his weekly feature The Grind, for sharing this:

OK, back in the day we had a very descriptive term for such shoes, but this is a family blog.  Let's just leave it that I'm guessing the kids got put to bed early that Sunday night.

Albany Blogging- No, I've little interest in that hotbed of corruption two hours North of here (Shelly, say it ain't so), but that island of pleasure newly created for those with more zeros in their net worth than your humble blogger.

From Shack's Forward Press column:

Billed as an Ernie Els design, Albany opened in 2010 as a Tavistock-developed luxury resort on the island of New Providence. The place is named after a historic pink Bahamian colonial mansion called Albany House, which served as arch villain Dimitrios' beachfront home in the James Bond movie "Casino Royale." The course can be seen in a website photo gallery and is billed by its director of golf as a "desert links" merging the best of Arizona desert golf and links-style features. 

Host Tiger Woods has a place there and figures to surface this week to talk about his recovery. Or to just enjoy the amenities, which I suspect will start looking pretty good to most of the chilly United States after watching this promo video:

Well, if you like that sort of thing...or this drone footage:

Maybe those folks outraged over income inequality have a point...

Generational Blogging - I originally missed this Bob Carney post with his helpful nine-step guide to Millennial Golfers.  Of course, if you read our weekly apocalyptic features about the state of the game, there aren't and never will be any MG's.  But I digress...

There's fun stuff to be found:

4) How do I identify one?

The first place to look is your basement. The millennial is typically moody and communicates in clever, ironic bursts. I had one who disappeared after years in my home but left the television set on its video-game function. I have no idea how to get it back to Golf Channel. Millennials start companies like PicPKT, which tells you how many ball markers you have at any time in any of your pockets, and which hand to use to get them. Clever. But keep an eye on the remote.

6) Any particular on-course habits I should be aware of?

To millennials, golf is an outdoor video game through which you drive an electric vehicle and during which you track every nugget of information from chip-shot trajectory to penalty-drop dispersion, not to mention score. Say goodbye to "Oh, it's about a 7-iron." No self-respecting millennial would ever hit a shot without data, preferably big data. One millennial I knew called his driver Big Data. Or maybe it was Big Daddy. My hearing's going.

You get the drift...but we believe in airing both sides of the issue, so Joel Beall ascends from his parent's basement to dish on the Boomers:

Speaking of equipment, what's that odd-shaped thing in their bag?

That's called a "9-wood." Since getting it up tends to be a problem for older folk, this club is used to help accomplish such an integral task.

Is it a little blue fairway wood?  And this...

Is there any benefit to playing with a Baby Boomer?

Of course! You'll get to witness firsthand the benefits of "old man's game," which is the process of making par despite hitting a 200-yard drive and chunking the approach. True, part of this practice is fluffing up your lie and giving yourself a 10-foot downhill putt, but still.

Hey, the rest of us bear no responsibility for Schrager.  All in good fun, right?

Roundball Blogging -  We touched on BBall earlier today, but are you a fan of the Monmouth Hawks?  I wasn't but I am now.... True, I don't what their record is, who the player are or even what state their school happens to be located in.  All I do know is that they have the greatest bench (and by bench I mean reserve players) in basketball.....Evah!

Heck, who knew white guys could dance?

Bleak House

"Ain't no sunshine when you're gone" goes the mournful Bill Wither tune, and it seems like we'll have to adjust to his being gone.

Doug Ferguson with the game story on Tiger's Tuesday presser:

NASSAU, Bahamas — Tiger Woods painted a bleak picture of when he can return to

golf or even get back to doing anything more than just walking. 

Woods had two back surgeries in a span of 18 months followed by what he described only as another “procedure” in the same area last month. He has not started rehabilitation and does not know when his back will allow for that.

But at least he's staying upbeat, right?

“The hardest part for me is there’s really nothing I can look forward to, nothing I can build toward,” Woods said on Tuesday. “It’s just taking it literally just day by day and week by week and time by time.” 

Woods is at the Hero World Challenge as the tournament host, not one of the 18 players at Albany Golf Club. The only time he touched a club was to pose for a photo, and he leaned on it while talking to Justin Rose and Zach Johnson on the putting green. 

A month away from turning 40, the smile did come as easily for Woods.

Yowzer!  He didn't even throw us a "I'm close" or "I'm regaining my speed" bones... It meanders down this path a bit more, and each answer opens the curtain a bit wider:

Would he be surprised if he was nothing more than a host at the Hero World Challenge a year from now? He couldn’t answer it. 

“So, where is the light at the end of the tunnel? I don’t know, so that’s been hard,” Woods said. “I had to reset the clock each and every day and OK, here we go. This is a new day and this is taken for what it is. I listen to my surgeon. I listen to my physios and we just take it day by day. Hopefully, the day-by-day adds up to something positive here soon.”

We were all a bit surprised at the Ryder Cup news, but does this sound like a guy that expects to tee it up at Augusta?

Woods said he wants to play again and that anything he accomplishes the rest of his career “will be gravy,” but he sounded at peace with what he already has done — 79 career victories on the PGA Tour, second only to the 82 by Sam Snead; 14 majors, second to 18 by Jack Nicklaus; and PGA Tour player of the year a record 11 times. 

“I’ve had a pretty good career for my 20s and 30s,” he said. “For my 20 years out here, I think I’ve achieved a lot, and if that’s all it entails, then I’ve had a pretty good run. But, I’m hoping that’s not it. I’m hoping that I can get back out here and compete against these guys. I really do miss it.” 

The first step? Getting healthy enough to play soccer with his two children.

“If I can get to that, then we can start talking about golf,” he said. “But, let me get to where I can pass the time and really be a part of my kids’ life in the way that I want to be part of it physically, not just as a cheerleader.”

Excuse the length and number of these excerpts, but the man seems resigned to a life without golf.  So, how are folks reacting?  Alex Myers posts the seven takeaways from the presser, including this topical reference:

3) And playing a lot of video games.

"I'm really good at video games. That's how I pass a lot of my time." We hope for Woods' sake whoever the governing body of video game competitions is still counts scores recorded as a solo player.

But this note seems especially ominous:

4) All three surgeries were on the same spot.

Tiger confirmed he's had three microdiscectomies on the same spot in his back. However, he said the two most recent procedures surprised him because he thought the discomfort he was feeling was in his hip.

That can't be good, can it?  I always thought that the body part that would end his career was the left knee, but of course my degree in physiology remains pending.  

This one-sentence excerpt from Ron Green seems especially apt:

For several years, we’ve understood that Woods is closer to the end of his career than the beginning, but he didn’t seem so close to the end as it sounded and felt this time.

Joel Beall surveys the Twitterverse, and finds it needing a hug:

GC Tiger Tracker @GCTigerTracker

Let's call this a wrap. Not that I've ever needed a reason to drink, but I certainly have one today.

1:58 PM - 1 Dec 2015

 
•  2929 Retweets
 
•  7878 likes

 Washington Post

Tiger Woods’s latest press conference is a masters class in sadness

By Sarah Larimer @slarimer

Apparently, Tiger plays a lot of video games these days.

View on web

 
•  22 Retweets
 
•  22 likes

And this was the beloved NY Post's take:

It was Brian Wacker at the Tour's website that originally made the comparison of Tiger to Kobe Bryant:

When Bryant announced that this will be his final season, he penned a poem in The Players Tribune that said his heart can take the pounding, his mind could handle the grind but that his body knows it’s time to say goodbye. 

The good news for Woods is that golf isn’t the rigor that basketball is -- even if Woods attacked his game the same way Bryant did. 

Vijay Singh won 22 times in his 40s. Davis Love III won this year’s Wyndham Championship at the age of 51. Neither of them had to overcome the level of injuries Woods has sustained, though.

Yeah, good luck with that.  There's really only two golfers that sustained their careers at anything remotely close to their peak performance level, Veej and Sam Snead.  Jack is sometimes included because he won three majors in his forties, though that's a bit of a red herring in that he won two of those at age forty and did nothing after that...well, except for that back-nine 30 at Augusta at age 46.  And ask yourself, does Tiger's swing look anything like Vijay's or The Slammer's?

In case you missed it, Kobe's Ode to Roundball is here, and just after we gave an Unplayable Lies shout-out to Derek Jeter's Players' Tribune.

Shack tweeted this on Tuesday:

Geoff Shackelford 

✔@GeoffShac

At Least Tiger's Not Writing Poetry Yet...: http://bit.ly/1HEUrAf 

5:47 PM - 1 Dec 2015

 
•  22 Retweets
 
•  55 likes

Then had to eat his words as Tiger penned an elegy to his lost friend:

Dear Golf
by Tiger Woods (almost) 

From the Moment
I started rooting for my dad’s missed putts
And making imaginary
Putts to overtake Y.E. Yutz
And appeared on the Mike Douglas Show
I know one thing was real: 

I fell in love with you as a way to make a lot of alimony and hush money. 

A love so deep I gave you my all —
My leg, my knee, my shoulder
And eventually my back three times each time I visit Dr. Rich a whole lot older. 

As a young boy
In love with the game
I never saw a time I could not beat Brandel with eyes closed left-handed
I only saw myself
Winning major after major 

And so I practiced
Running like a Navy Seal
Hitting every loose ball on the chipping green
From Butch to Hank to Sean to Dr. Galea to Chris
I gave you my heart
Because it came with so much more cash 

I played through sweat, a broken leg, even pro-ams
Not because drug testing was the following week
But because Jack’s record called me, and so did Phil Knight
I did everything for that record
Because that’s what you do, Steiny squeals
When someone makes you feel
As alive as bonus checks made me “feels” 

You gave a six-year-old boy his Masters dream
And my accountants will always love you for it
But, I can’t love you obsessively for much longer
This season is about the big payment I have to make to Elin yonder
My heart can take the grinding
My mind can handle the missed cuts
But my wallet won’t let me say goodbye 

And that’s ok
I’m almost ready to let golf go
I want you to know that now that January’s payment is coming
So we can savor the moments before I shuttle Kevin Kisner to Ryder Cup dining
The good and the bad
We have given each other
All that we have, almost. 

And we both know, no matter how many times Tim Finchem calls
I’ll always be Pop’s kid
Making his putts
Chasing the Golden Bear
Taking dead aim
Saying It Is What It Is
Fist Pumping to the Skies
The Second best Golfer of all time 

Love you always,
Eldrick “Tiger” “Tont” Woods

Y.E. Yutz?  Well done, Geoff.

Tuesday Tidbits

On this Tuesday morning I find myself immune to the effects of caffeine and exhibiting the attention span of a mollusk, so carpe diem.

Slow Burn - Curmudgeonly John Huggan takes on the R&A summit on slow play and finds it wanting:

Slow play is golf’s equivalent of the weather; everyone talks about it but no one does anything about it. Until now, at least. Following the results of a worldwide survey that attracted more than 56,000 responses from 127 countries, the game’s ruling body outside the United States and Mexico, the R&A, last week hosted the “Time for Golf” conference in St. Andrews.

I thought not that analogy as well, though the addiction-industrial complex has taught us that the first step in curing a problem is to admit that you have one.  But in the "Not just a River in Egypt" files is this:

Unbelievably, only once during the two-day conference in the Home of Golf was there any mention of excessive green speeds as an aspect of the game that adds, according to a Danish Golf Union study, “ten minutes to every round for every foot over nine on the Stimpmeter.” And never was the absurd distances leading players hit the modern ball -- and in turn the ever longer walks from greens to distant back tees -- cited as an obviously detrimental factor in pace of play.

Nothing to see here...Look, a squirrel....  

Lorne Rubenstein, who I had believed retired from writing about our game, takes an interesting existential stroll through the issues:

But give the R&A marks for getting various people and organizations together to discuss the matter, and, in the process, enjoy some fine claret. As the PGA master pro Denis Pugh tweeted from the conference, “Most enjoyable evening at R&A. Food, wine, and company first class.” Pugh is an advocate of faster play, and his experience informs him that golfers are more successful when, as Gene Sarazen once wrote, they “miss ‘em quick.”

If so many golfers, and not only those in St. Andrews this week, believe slow play is a scourge, well, why don’t they play faster? Are they as bothered by slow play as much as we suppose? Or, is this a case of leading the witness, as in posing multiple-choice responses to a question: “What is hurting golf most? (a) cost (b) slow play, (c) difficulty, and so on.

There's a lot to unpack there, but the importance of the claret cannot be overestimated... Lorne has some good anecdotes, including one that I've threatened but never followed through on, bringing a book with him.  To be fair, it was a collection of short stories.... How can you not love a guy that makes his playing partners let seven groups play through?

Shack opines that the issue is devolving into a U.S. vs. Europe cage match:

But as I wrote in Golf World, this is also setting up a battle between Team Europe (R&A/European Tour) and Team USA (PGA Tour/USGA), where Europe is signaling a willingness to crack down and even embarrass some slow pokes. Of course, that is a notion offensive to PGA Tour Commissioner Tim Finchem, who has discouraged the administration of rules in place to deal with slow play. Reason #459 he needs to retire.

Geoff, my counts is at 642, but that's not important now.... I'll add this as well from a Tour Confidential question about new USGA Prez Diana Murphy:

MOHLER: This is a big deal for the USGA, an organization not exactly known for innovation. Murphy is more of a business mind than a golf mind and has likely been appointed to help manage the USGA’s cash flow that drastically increased with the Fox deal. I’d like to see Murphy tackle slow play, an issue that’s plaguing all levels of the game and that has been recently addressed by new European Tour CEO Keith Pelley. That seems like a job more for whoever succeeds Mike Davis as the USGA’s next executive director.

Both Geoff and Brendon Mohler are way ahead of the facts on the ground.  Where the latter gives credit for "addressing", I see Kelley as having done nothing beyond paying lip service to the issue.  

And until penalty strokes are assessed, it's all talk... 

Not Just a Money Grab - Shack devotes this week's Forward Press column to Tiger's money-grab Hero World Challenge.  His appropriate focus is that it's more than just easy money:

Nothing says red flag like easy World Ranking points parked neatly off shore. When the Hero World Challenge resurfaces at its third venue in three years, it wheels out another incredible field looking to feast on the easy money and even easier algorithm for boosting points.

A field that good is noteworthy any year. But heading into 2016, when scheduling will become a tiresome subject and players should already be shedding starts, it should raise all sorts of red flags. However, since the Hero World Challenge added World Ranking points in 2009, the event has enjoyed stellar fields despite landing at a time of year when rest is a priority or when some stars go home to play in their native countries of South Africa or Australia.

The easy points are meaningful even for top-10 types thanks to the looming Olympic Games, and those precious points prove especially meaningful to those looking to stay in golf's most elite club for financial and access perks: the World Top 50.

I don't waste a lot of energy ranting about the OWGR nonsense, because I don't expect any algorithm to work in all circumstances.  It usually comes up in connection with the top ranking, and my thesis is that if you need to calculate who's No. 1, then nobody is.

But world ranking points should not be awarded for an event with an 18-player field.  Period.  Full stop.

Fun With Old Pictures - Alex Myers posts this wonderful video of Australian Open champion Matt Jones meeting his idol, Le Shark:

"I've watched the Australian Open many years growing up -- watching (Greg) Norman especially because he was my idol," Jones said after. "Just to have my name on that trophy with Norman, it's something I'll never forget." 

We assume Jones will never forget the first time he met The Shark, either. And thanks to 7 News Sydney, there's video of it. Take a gander to see an adorable six-year-old Jones, who had recently made his first hole-in-one, getting to meet and play with his idol --

I'm incapable of embedding the video, so you'll have to click through.  But, as Alex notes, often the best part of old photos and video are the details buried within.  See if you pick up on what has Alex and I giggling:

Any guesses?  Anyone?  Bueller?

That would be a much younger Stevie Williams with a first-class, 1980's vintage porn 'stache.  Wasn't that a time...

I'm out of energy and can't top that last item in any event, so you'll just have to soldier on from here without me.