Friday, October 14, 2022

Your Friday Frisson

I slept far later than usual and was sorely tempted to skip blogging, but for three things:

  1. I'm headed to Bethpage on Monday with the Met. Golf Writers, so our usual wrappage will have to wait until Tuesday;
  2. Phil went in front of a microphone...
  3. Geoff saw Phil in front of said microphone and, well, you'll just have to wait a bit....
An Appeal to Authority - Famous quotes for $200, Art:

We shall overcome because the arc of the moral universe is long but it bends toward justice. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

So, you'll quickly see why this quote popped into your humble blogger's mind:

In a lively press conference on Thursday at LIV Golf’s event in Saudi Arabia, Phil Mickelson defended his new home tour’s home turf with a prolonged victory lap from the lectern.

“I firmly believe that I’m on the winning side of how things are going to evolve and shape in the coming years for professional golf,” Mickelson said. “I love the way they involve us and listen to us in decisions. I mean it’s so inclusive, it’s so fluid that things, LIV Golf is leading. Whether it’s shorts, whether it’s other aspects of professional golf that are going to change and evolve, those positions will be led by LIV.”

“I see LIV Golf trending upwards, I see the PGA Tour trending downwards,” he said. “I love the side that I’m on. And I love how I feel. I love how I’m reinvigorated and excited to play golf and compete. I love the experience. I love the way they treat us.”

Sure, I totally get it.  When I think of the Wahabis the first thought that pops into my mind is of their inclusiveness, because when those plane shit the tower they killed all 3,000 people without regard to race, gender or national origin.

There are exactly 200 million reasons that Phil loves how he's treated, but I'll leave you to suss that out on your own....

The commentariat reacted as you'd expect, though with a range of colorful analogies:

Perhaps we should view Brandel as a compromised observer, since he's a defendant for saying mean things about Phil's a*****e buddy Patrtick?  More on that below (I think).

But Phil also went in a really strange direction:

Q. You made some comments about this country last year which you've apologized for. I wondered how you feel about now you're here? Have you changed your opinion?

PHIL MICKELSON: So I will reiterate, I never did an interview with Alan Shipnuck. And I find that my experience with everybody associated with LIV Golf has been nothing but incredibly positive and I have the utmost respect for everybody that I've been involved with.

 Got it, you did not have sex with that woman.... Totally believable.

Here's the funny bit, at least to a guy that doesn't get out much.  Mike Bamberger has a defense of his buddy Alan Shipnuck, and he goes the same direction as the guy writing this blog:

Phil: “I will reiterate: I never did an interview with Alan Shipnick [sic]. And I find that my
experience, with everybody associated with LIV Golf, has been nothing but incredibly positive. And I have the utmost respect for everybody I’ve been involved with.”

He adjusts the stand-up microphone in front of him, which almost obscures his sunglasses perched on his black golf shirt, as he says reiterate.

He opens the fingers on his right hand at incredibly positive.

He punctuates utmost respect with an itty-bitty karate chop with his right hand.

Really, it’s such a good delivery you stand in awe. We’re talking Clinton-level.

You're never going to win this kind of argument with a reporter, because they take notes.  Having been routed on this subject in February, though, the question is why revisit it now.  In fact, at the Quad Geoff suggested an alternative answer to that interview question:

Golly it’s amazing to be here in Saudi Arabia. The Red Sea is so tranquil. I get a great night’s sleep in the amazing offshore yacht our hosts from the Kingdom have provided. Also, it’s remarkable to see so many women out at restaurants. Speaking of, did anyone notice? Not one mass beheading in months!”

Yanno, for what it's worth, I could get behind a few, highly-selective beheadings....

Mike and Dylan Dethier get into the long grass of what it means to speak to a reporter in that context, and you can read that at your leisure.  Mike actually thinks he's disingenuously trying to convince low-information fans that he didn't speak to Alan and say those very words, though does that strike one as a useful argument for Phil at this late date?

I'll include this from Alan as well, if only because of the new word that can be added to your lexicon:

Shouldn't bullshittery have two "Ts"?  The funny thing here is that Shipnuck remains far more favorably disposed to Phil than I would have expected, not least because of this attack on his journalistic ethics (yeah, I know, it should have come with an oxymoron alert).

It is all bullshittery for sure, but funny bullshittery.... Not least because of Geoff.  Are you, Dear Reader, familiar with ClubProGuy?  A fromer Mexican mini-tour rabbit, he's carved out his own unique social media space to some amusing effect, including this that I posted back in the day:


So, it's over to you, Geoff:

The major champ is back to his wacky press conference ways and increasingly shares a lot in common with Club Pro Guy.


It's not merely a physical resemblance:

Consider what these two veterans appear to have in common:

Compete in a shotgun-start exhibition league? ✅

Consistently drag down their teams with mediocre play? ✅

Well-known gambling issues leading to questionable decisions? ✅

Propensity to wear sunglasses indoors? ✅

Own regrettable tattoos received in a foreign land? ✅

Tendency to hold strange press conferences? ✅

Sponsored by multiple brands? Oops, Club Pro Guy owns this one.

That's gonna leave a mark.... 

Patrick's Torment - Another LIVster that needs to be kept away from microphones would be Patrick Reed, A Hero of France.  But first, that venue change:

The nine-time PGA Tour winner-turned-LIV golfer was in the news again late last month when a defamation suit filed in his name against Golf Channel and Brandel Chamblee was withdrawn from federal court in Texas, only to be refiled in federal court in Florida.

In its refiled form, the suit expands upon the list of defendants (Golf Channel commentators Shane Bacon, Damon Hack and Eamon Lynch have been added), but its thrust is pretty much the same: It seeks $750 million in damages for injuries it claims Reed has suffered to his reputation as a result of “calculated, malicious, false and/or reckless attacks.”

Otherwise, the biggest change is geography: Florida instead of Texas.

Why the switch?

 Well, there was that little bit of misfortune in landing a judge that actually knows the rules of golf:

When Reed’s case was first filed in Texas, it was assigned to Alfred H. Bennett, a federal judge who also happens to be an avid golfer and a reported stickler for the rules of the game. Given Reed’s reputation and the judge’s fondness for playing it as it lies, it is not unreasonable to believe that Klayman felt that he and his client had gotten an unlucky draw and thought they’d stand a better chance in a different court.

This would not be unusual. Attorneys often seek out judges and jurisdictions that they believe will be favorable to their cases, says Matt Jacobs, a former federal prosecutor and partner at DLA Piper, an international law firm. In the absence of another explanation, Jacobs says, “it looks to all the world that (Klayman) is shopping around.”

You can't make this stuff up, but doesn't Patrick play with absolute fealty (yeah, that word again) to the rules of our game?

 You'll  not be surprised that there's other issues:

About a month ago, on Sept. 15, the District of Columbia Court of Appeals — the highest court in the District of Columbia — upheld a recommendation that Klayman be suspended from
practicing law in D.C. for conduct that was deemed unprofessional in a different case, unrelated to Reed’s — a sexual harassment suit, initially filed more than a decade ago, in which Klayman was representing the plaintiff. (You can read the court’s report on the matter here, which includes violations of the professional code that Klayman was found to have committed; Klayman told Reuters that the ruling was a “political hit” and that he had been unfairly targeted because of his support for former President Donald Trump.)

Though the 18-month suspension was handed down in D.C., it carries wider implications, because the federal district court in Texas where the Reed suit was filed has its own local rule stating that any lawyer “suspended or disbarred by another court shall immediately cease to practice before this court.” At this point, in other words, even if Klayman wanted to keep the case in Texas, he wouldn’t be permitted to represent Reed there, experts said. In the Florida district where the Reed suit has been refiled, the local rule is more lenient: An attorney can have a suspension stayed by petitioning the judge for relief.

Translation: Klayman appears to stand a better chance of being able to represent Reed in the district where the case has been refiled.

Nothing says "Righteous tort" quite like using a suspended lawyer, no?

But the funnier bit is what follows because, like Phil, Patrick seems to have trouble sticking to a story:

Patrick Reed, whom multiple outlets reported as saying his treatment at a DP World Tour event
last month was “a slap in the face,” said Thursday those stories were “false reporting.”

Since LIV started in early June, Reed has played in five of six events, though with the Saudi-backed tour awaiting word whether they’ll receive OWGR recognition, he has continued to play tournaments on the DP World Tour. And he’s made headlines. Ahead of last month’s French Open, multiple sites reported that Reed told Journal du Golf that he was displeased with how he was treated at the event.

“It’s a slap in the face not to invite me to do a press conference here, or as happened in Wentworth, not to have me play the pro-am and all those things,” Reed told Journal du Golf, according to the Telegraph.

First professional golfer in recorded history to complain about not playing in a ProAm....

I guess that didn't play well in the focus group:

In a press conference ahead of this weekend’s LIV Golf event in Saudi Arabia, Reed also said he did not play in another tournament because he “got decommitted,” though he had told one site that he withdrew after hurting his back due to a mattress being too soft. He then ended his session with reporters by saying that the Official World Golf Ranking was “not a true system if you’re not counting all the events and having points for everybody.”

Decommitted?  Yeah, that's the ticket....

Three weeks later, on Thursday in Saudi Arabia, Reed then had this exchange:

“I was reading that you were a bit unhappy about some of your treatment at the French Open,” a reporter said.

“No, that was false reporting,” said Reed, who has resigned his PGA Tour membership. “Had nothing to do with the French Open. When I went over there, the players, the fans, the tournament, they treated me amazingly. It was an unbelievable time over there. Obviously I wish I had played better and did something, but no, they treated me really well, and that’s just something that is unfortunate about how the media tried to spin that that week, because when I was over there, everyone was excited to see me. It was great there, being with the guys, being with the players, and seeing fans I’ve seen in the past.

“No, it was a great week based off of fans, players and the people there at the golf course.”

It never made any sense... Given how poorly Patrick played and how divisive his comments and Justine's tweeting was, why wouldn't the French welcome him back with open arms?

At the very least, the defendants in his defamation suite seem terrified:

But relaying Patrick's comments verbatim is now "False reporting", the saddest part being that I totally agree.

Udder Stuff -  Not unrelated, but did you catch the ladies playing that Aramco event at Ferry Point.  I've been arguing to keep a watchful eye on Jon Rahm, at the same time we'll need to watch the ladies.  I've ben thinking for a long time that the Saudis have screwed up in royal fashion (pun intended), that they could have done themselves a world of good sportswashing-wise at a fraction of the price by holding a few events for those in hijabs.  

We've seen the LPGA Commissioner indicate that she would take the call, as well as individual players almost pleading for such an opportunity as well.  So we see something like this and can't help but wonder if something might be going on behind the scenes:

Arc of history and all....

Gotta bring this to a conclusion, but wanted to leave you with this piece of historical importance.  Not so much for the actual incident, but it's always helpful to be reminded of who Greg Norman has always been:

The story of the mutiny at the 1996 Presidents Cup. Of course, it includes Greg Norman

That would be an incident that happened more than 25 years ago, when Graham, an Australian who won two majors during his Hall of Fame career was unceremoniously ousted as captain of
the International Presidents Cup team by his own players, just two months before the second biennial international team competition was to be held in September 1996. Some of what happened during a player meeting in July at a Grand Hotel conference room near Royal Lytham in St. Annes, England, where the British Open was being contested that year, still is a mystery but this much is clear: it damaged the reputation of a good man willing to give his time and effort to grow the fledgling event.

To this day, Graham is convinced Greg Norman, then the No. 1 player in the world and now the face of LIV Golf, and fellow Aussie Steve Elkington orchestrated what one participant in the proceedings dubbed “this mutinous act.”

They have the receipts.

Sharkie sticking the shiv in David Graham is the perfect accompaniment for Phil doing the same to Tom Watson in 2014, so put on some popcorn, because ultimately these two will go after each other, which will require exhuming that famous Henry Kissinger quote about the Iran-Iraq war.

Have a great weekend and we'll catch up on everything next week. 

 

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