Wednesday, April 6, 2022

Midweek Musings - Georgia On My Mind Edition

Hello, Friends, it's almost time.  Time to fill out my Masters pool, the one actual foray each year into fantasy golf, done for the amusement of the other participants.  I'm thinking this year that Mike Weir seems in especially good form, so we've got that going for us...

What's On The Menu - More here than you might expect, such as:

Surprising changes come to Masters food menu in 2022

Turns out there's been a loss in the family (which we had earlier):

The loss of the Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich is a travesty, a disappointment, a sad statement of our time … and about a hundred other things, if you believe the Internet commenters.

But the few of us lucky enough to try the Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich know the reality is far worse.

In losing the ice cream sandwich, Augusta National is losing a piece of itself. For a tournament that revels in its tradition, the sandwich — which features a dollop of perfectly sweet peach ice cream between two bakery-soft sugar cookies — has become a tradition of its own.

Without the ice cream sandwich, the Masters simply isn’t the Masters as we have come to know it, and one needn’t go much further than 10 paces inside the behemoth concession stand at Amen Corner to learn as much.

“Oh my goodness, you’re kidding!” One otherwise pleasant woman yelled when she heard the news on Saturday at the Augusta National Women’s Amateur.

“No,” cried another, her eyes failing to compute the reality placed before them. “You’re not serious, right?”

“I can’t believe it,” offered a man wearing an old-school Masters hat. “Those sandwiches are the best thing y’all sell.”

It does sound quite great, but I do so hope these folks can move on with their lives... But I do think this commentator captures the inevitable reaction:

“If Augusta is having supply chain issues,” one Internet commenter wrote. “There’s no hope for the rest of us.”

Your humble blogger never realized that there's a computer chip in the Georgia Peach Ice ream Sandwich.  Or is it potash? So hard to stay fully informed these days...  Of course, there's never been and never will be a shortage of the key ingredient in this crime against nature:

Check that box... we've wrapped up our pimento cheese blogging for the 2022 Masters.

There is one other typical food story from Masters week.  Good news for those that had Waygu Beef in their pool:

I for one never saw a Japanese-influenced menu coming....  Might have been funnier if he had gone with, say, Mexican....  Shack might want to keep that in mind as his April Fools Day posts have lacked a certain something lately.  I know, hard times to be a comedian for sure...

 Or maybe he should have gone for BBQ, just to annoy this fanboy:

“I'm going to have seconds of all of it,” Spieth said. “I'm very excited. I played the Dunlop Phoenix in Miyazaki back in 2014, and I might make a lot of people mad in the state of Texas, but it's the best beef I've ever had. To be serving that tonight on top of miso cod and sushi to start, I'm very, very excited. I saw it today. I had no idea what route he was going to go, and I'm excited to shake his hand and say thank you at the end of the night. I might have to get carted off.”

Thoughts and prayers to Spieth for inadvertently turning all of Texas against him.

The funniest bit being that "I had no idea what route he was going to go", because there was exactly one option available to him, assuming he wants to be welcome on the island of Honshu.

I think that will bring our food blogging to a merciful conclusion, assuming events don't intrude.

The Big Cat - Woods did his predictable thing in front of the press yesterday, including this breaking news:

First came the news:

“As of right now, I feel like I am going to play,” Woods said. Then came the real news: Woods isn’t just here to show up. Does he legitimately think he can win?

“I do.”

Those two words set the press room at attention. We’ve heard Woods say for decades that he’ll only show up to professional events if he thinks he can win. But that was before car accidents and surgeries and the inevitabilities of aging. If his expectations had changed, nobody would have blamed him.

Tiger just happens to be 46 years old, a significant number in the context of the Masters.  For years we listened to Jack inform us that he would never become a ceremonial golfer, an assertion he continued right up until that moment he baceme, yanno, a ceremonial golfer.  Much the same from Tom Watson, until he fielded a call from Augusta...

But this one is different, as the issues are more, well, pedestrian:

“I can hit it just fine,” Woods added. “I don’t have any qualms about what I can do physically from a golf standpoint. It’s now, walking is the hard part. This is normally not an easy walk to begin with. Now, given the conditions that my leg is in, it gets even more difficult.”

Woods was still self-deprecating about his physical limitations. He joked about the challenges of upslopes and downslopes and sideslopes. He mentioned that preparations that used to seem simple now take multiple hours. He said that when it’s cold, things get measurably more difficult.

“I think anyone who’s in this room who’s older than me can probably attest to that,” he said with a grin.

As Dylan Dethier notes, he's been lowering our expectations all along, but we hit the limiting factor yesterday.  He can't bring himself to lower our expectations about his golf, which might just be justified based upon that which we all saw in December, as well as the reaction of his peers:

His playing partners gushed about his preparations, too. Cameron Davis, who Woods intersected with on Sunday afternoon, was optimistic about his chances to contend.

“Yeah, he’s striking it well,” Davis attested. “He’s hitting it far enough to play the holes the way you need to play them.”

Fred Couples, who played with Woods and Justin Thomas on Monday, took things a step further.

“If he can walk around here in 72 holes, he’ll contend. He’s too good. He’s too good,” he said.

Then he channels his inner Jack:

“Well, I love competing, and I feel like if I can still compete at the highest level, I’m going to, and if I feel like I can still win, I’m going to play. But if I feel like I can’t, then you won’t see me out here. You guys know me better than that,” he said.

That doesn’t mean Woods will play forever. In fact, it probably guarantees that he won’t.

“I don’t show up to an event unless I think I can win it. So that’s the attitude I’ve had,” he said. “There will be a day when it won’t happen, and I’ll know when that is, but physically the challenge this week is I don’t have to worry about the ball striking or the game of golf, it’s actually just the hills out here.”

My favorite part was his discussion of going 27 in that practice round last week.  Charlie wouldn't leave until they also played the Par-3 track,.  Don't see the big deal as, while he hasn't played it previously, he has caddied there...

 Admittedly, this was pretty good as well:

Best humble brag

Oh right, Tiger. You can read about the latest on his return here, but we’d like to point out the following from Woods’ press conference. Specifically, his reaction to the masses that followed his every move around the property on Monday afternoon.


TIGER WOODS: As I said earlier, the last time I'd had patrons out here was on that Sunday when I won, and it felt a little bit like that. Not quite as frenzied as that was. That was a little bit different. That was on a Sunday of a championship Sunday. But yesterday was incredible. Everyone loves Freddie. That's why they all came out (Laughter).

It’s funny because those patrons weren’t there to see Fred Couples at all! Forget training sessions or practice rounds or swing speed; that Tiger is cracking cheesy jokes again is the surest sign he is back.

I think the beauty of it is that it's simultaneously a humble brag AND an acknowledgement that Freddie is, indeed, Masters royalty.   

We are blessed with a Timely Ask Alan mailbag, so shall we pounce on the feline-focus therefrom?  I thought you'd see the logic:

In the history of sport, has anyone ever moved the needle like Tiger? Ali, MJ, The Babe? #AskAlan @opinionsvary328

The photos from Woods’s practice at the Masters on Monday were remarkable—it looked (and
felt!) like a final round and that he was chasing another green jacket. All the players you cite dominated in a different world. Just as Arnold Palmer’s legend was burnished by the advent of color TV, Tiger is a creature of the Internet age; he is the very reason I signed up for my first email account, in 1997. His turn-of-the-century heroics helped launch innumerable websites, and his sex scandal turbocharged nascent social media platforms. (I got on Twitter for the first time in the days after he ran over the hydrant.) Woods’s innumerable comebacks and subsequent personal setbacks have dominated—and created—news cycles in a way that even Michael Jordan in the 1990s could never have imagined. So the answer to your question has to be no. Tiger is not only a once-in-a-lifetime athlete but he also arrived at a unique moment, when sports was helping to usher in the digital age.

With all due respect to Norma Desmond, Tiger is still big, bit it's an awfully small needle, no?  Yes, the crowd on Tuesday was electrified and the ESPN ratings will be boffo. but the context is still golf ratings, trace amounts compared to those that tune in for other sports.

Alan's a young punk, so I'll go deep into the Wayback machine for my answer:

A humorous story is told about the renowned baseball slugger Babe Ruth. He was negotiating his salary during the depths of the economic depression and was told that the amount he had requested was outlandish because it exceeded the remuneration given to Herbert Hoover who was the U.S. President. Ruth replied:

What’s Hoover got to do with it? Besides, I had a better year than he did.

Has Tiger ever had a candy bar named after him?   That's a joke, guys, only Reggie can lay claim to that, and it was quite the epic fail.

If Tiger is even a semblance of his old self, St. Andrews is his best shot, right? How far would making the cut at ANGC go toward reigniting the indomitable will that has propelled him to countless triumphs? (It never burned out.) #AskAlan @opinionsvary328

The Old Course is certainly a much easier walk than Augusta National, so that alone bodes well. Of course, cold temperatures don’t agree with Tiger’s back. (Let us not forget that was the big issue prior to his car accident.) Woods is now middle of the pack in driving distance, and that tips the scales to the Old Course, where creativity and shot-shaping remain paramount. (They matter at the Masters too, but ANGC is more of a bomber’s paradise.) Not to mention he should get in more reps between now and July. But there is something mystical about Woods’s connection to Augusta National, and we saw on the back nine in 2019 how much know-how matters, to say nothing of not being cowed by the moment; the choke factor at the Masters is much higher. It’s preposterous that we’re even debating this, but he’s Tiger F’ing Woods, so nothing feels impossible, even this week. The lack of tournament play, however, certainly suggests that the Open Championship is a more realistic opportunity for him to make noise.

One last one buried at the end of Alan's column:

Why does anyone still doubt Tiger? @ElNino22

It’s a valid question. Given all he went through from 2014 to ’18, I thought it would be a minor miracle if Tiger could win even a Quad Cities Open, but he scaled a much taller mountain. The bottom line is he is an all-time golfing genius. Whatever the limitations of his body, he will still find a way to deliver the club to the back of the ball. We know he has the best head ever for golf, and it’s increasingly clear that nothing short of having his hands amputated can part him from his gift. It’s astonishing and inhuman and, as golf fans, we are lucky to be living through this. 

Sure, in theory.... Just take a deep breath and appreciate that, after they miracle that was 2019, it's a big ask to think that he could be sharp enough to be in the hunt on Sunday.   

The other point I'll make is that the weather seems uncooperative.  I don't know how much rain they got yesterday, but there's rain the forecast for today and Thursday as well.  I think he would be far better served with a faster track, although perhaps there's enough wind in the forecast to frustrate the young guns.

Other Presser Notes - Just a selective sampling of comments from the press room, beginning wit those Irishmen:

Biggest victim of friendly fire

Rory McIlroy wasn’t trying to take a shot. He was just telling the truth. But sometimes the truth can hurt so much that it is dubbed a “truth bomb” and McIlroy dropped one of those bad boys on
poor Padraig Harrington.

McIlroy and Harrington played a practice round with Shane Lowry and Seamus Power on Monday, and Rory was asked how that grouping came to pass. Take it away, Rors.

“Shane and I spend a lot of time together down in Jupiter now that he and his family have moved down there. So, we organized that game last week,” McIlroy said. “Then he texted me and said Seamus is going to join us, and that was great, and then Padraig as well. I actually didn't know Padraig was in the field, which is bad (Laughter). But I guess he played pretty well in the PGA last year.”

On the one hand, who doesn't like a little orange-on-orange action?   But on the flip side, The Masters field is disgracefully weak, and Padraig is taking up a spot that you'd have to prefer go to a player more likely to be competitive.  But here's where it gets laugh-out-loud funny....  Who would be the next guy in?  Your humble blogger goes to the OWGR to suss out the 51st ranked player in the world and, you really can't make this stuff up, it's Phil Mickelson!  So, play well Padraig, and never mind...

And an example of DJ being DJ:

Most efficient answer

This corner is perennially owned by Dustin Johnson, who can say in four words what others say 
in 40. A recurring question on Tuesday was the impact of Tiger Woods’ return, a question that took several iterations, one of which revolved around the idea that Tiger and the circus then engulfs him may take pressure off other players. Here was how that question was asked to DJ:

Q. Tiger seems to be overshadowing everything about this Masters. How do you feel about that?

DUSTIN JOHNSON: It's fine.

Let's remember that, when it came time to drape a grene jacket over DJ, it was Tiger doing the honors....

I agree that he still has time, I'm just not clear that he's using it effectively:

Rory McIlroy on father time. “I'll keep saying that until it isn't, whenever that is. But right now I still feel like time's on my side. I'm 32 years old with a ton of experience. So I still feel young. I don't -- look, I'm still -- look, I'm only a few years older than those guys. I've got a few more gray hairs than I used to, but I'm still young at heart.”

Also still vibrant?  His lack of distance control on his wedges and his poor putting....

First world problems for sure:

Hideki Matsuyama on the Green Jacket and whether he ever had it dry cleaned. “As far as the last question about the dry cleaning, I thought about it and it needed to be cleaned, but I just was so worried that something might happen to it. So I didn't want to let it out of my sight. I just spent a year looking at it. I haven't really worn it that much, but I look at it a lot. And now I wish I would have worn it more (Laughter).”

We cover all the important issues....

This is why most of us never thought he could play this week:

Justin Thomas on the difficulty of walking Augusta National. “It's very, very long, very hilly, a lot of long walks back to tees. I would say probably 20, 30 years ago it wasn't as bad because you just would get off -- you know, I think of a hole like 6 to 7, you'd get done with 6 and walk right there to 7 tee. Or 8, you get done at 7, you go right there to 8 tee. 9, same type of thing. But now due to lengthening the golf course, it's now you get done with the hole, you walk back 60, 70 yards back to the tee, and then you walk right back again. You add that along with some of the craziest undulation and terrain of any course we'll play all year, it produces some pretty tired, sore legs at the end of the week.”

I'll bet even Charlie's legs felt it...

Least Favorite Masters Meme -  I don't know what these Folks are smoking, though I'm deeply hopeful that they've brought enough to share.  But they seem immune to the irony of what has actually happened, so they've earned what's coming.  First, Rod Morri from Down Under:


What a show the talented young women put on at the Augusta National Women’s Amateur at the weekend.

And what a shame we don’t get to see the game’s top women professionals afforded the same opportunity.

It’s just one more item to add to the list of reasons Augusta National always evokes mixed feelings.

 Morri, to his credit, does note the fallout....

Alistair Tait, in contrast, seems clueless:


What are the odds on Augusta National chairman Fred Ridley announcing a Women’s Masters when he holds his traditional press conference on the eve of the opening round of this year’s Masters?

Ridley and the rest of the green jackets have surely frequently discussed evening up its contribution to the game by affording the top women professionals the same courtesy as the best male golfers? Many say it’s about time, considering the men have an 88-year head start.

Maybe that’s why Ridley had a wee word with Phil MickCharlatan and asked him not to attend this year’s toonamint, lest the three-time winner’s Saudi Saga ruined Augusta’s big announcement. Ok, I made that up…

OK, I guess the gratuitous Phil mention was to drive Tait's Meltwater Mentions.... perhaps he thinks he's eligible for the PIP program.  

 I'm a little surpised that Alan is equally clueless:

Will we see a Women’s Masters for professionals in our lifetime, and if not, what is the biggest obstacle? @spooky623

Gawd, I hope so. There are two obstacles: the club calendar and the bandwidth of its members.
ANGC is closed during the sultry summer months and it gets rather cold during the winter in Augusta, so the prime season for members is pretty short. And the Masters monopolizes things during the best month. October would be ideal for a Women’s Masters, but that’s when the club hosts one of its four big member shindigs, which are low-key compulsory for the green jackets. So is having a role in running the Masters, and it’s a big effort. Another tournament would double the workload. Obviously, every member has many available resources, but time is the most valuable of them, and do these rather busy people want to have to spend another long week fretting over range balls and concessions and all the other tournament details? But the instant popularity of the ANWA helps create momentum for change: It’s a little contradictory for the club to celebrate all these great young women amateurs but then tell the pros they’re not worthy of their own Masters. Every club chairman wants a legacy project; if Fred Ridley doesn’t pull the trigger on a Women’s Masters, hopefully the next guy (or gal!) will, because there aren’t many more new frontiers left to conquer.

Oh, gawd, you don't get out much, do you?  Augusta National has made a decision, and there will NEVER be a Women's Masters.  Deal with it!.  I'm just a little amazed at their naivete, given that they're supposed to know something about this game.

Augusta made what I think was a wonderful decision, to open the club to the women, but specifically for women amateurs.  That is consistent with the history of the club and its guiding light, and was a great thing, except for the ham-fisted nature of the implementation, which had two profound deficiencies, proving that their underlying commitment to women's golf is, well, superficial.

The first and lesser of these evils is allowing only the one competitive round at Augusta.  They've told us with that what they think of women's golf and, more importantly, their priorities.

But the second point, the one I've been hammering about ad nauseum, is the professional women had a Masters, and Augusta National was perfectly happy to stick the shiv in that event for their own convenience.  And the only human being willing to say that, above and beyond your humble blogger, was Christina Kim.  Though at least Rod Morri could see the issue...

Alan in Full - he's got lots on the event for your enjoyment:

Can you explain the added value of the Masters compared to other majors? It seems too elite, too exclusive, too fairytale (bluest water, blooming flowers), patrons and not spectators, no pictures allowed. Why are we buying it? @PeteKnot

Well, some of us are rather tepid in our enthusiasm for the treacly piano music and all of the hoary traditions. But it is a thrilling tournament course that always produces drama, and there is something undeniably intoxicating about the whole thing, no matter how hard you try to resist the Southern-fried charm. You can’t deny the power of the calendar: All those blooming flowers herald the coming of spring for many snowbirds, and there is now a nine-month buildup since the previous major, increasing the excitement and meaning of the Masters. And let’s face it, there is a cult of exclusivity in this country in general and golf in particular. The things you find off-putting are part of the appeal for many, in a way the other, more egalitarian major championships can never have.

 I love that he used the adjective "treacly", because that's the word that pops into your humble blogger's fevered mind.  Same can be said about the Par-3, which I've called unwatchable.

But, that said, it all seems rather obvious to this observer.  It doesn't always deliver the goods, I called last year the worst Masters ever, but it's...what's that phrase, better than most.  It also comes at exactly the right time of year, and benefits from the long period without meaningful golf.  It's not perfect, but it is pretty damn good.

What’s the second-biggest story this week? @scrambln_hawk

Charlie Woods’s swing changes. Third-biggest story would be some clarity on the ongoing question as to whom is the best player in the world. Jon Rahm has the ball-striking stats but needs more victories. Collin Morikawa has cooled off a bit. But if either wins this week, they are indisputably The Man. Then you have all the stalled superstars: Rory, Jordan, DJ, Brooks, JT, Bryson. It has been a fallow stretch for each of them, but winning the Masters would change that in a hurry and vault them once again to the front ranks of the game. All of this is to say we’ll probably get a random winner, which would only further muddle things.

You mean it's not Padraig being in the field?  In truth, though, this is actually the second biggest story of the week:

I can understand Phil not playing, but to not attend the Champions Dinner is odd, right? @jasongrant19

I think it would be weirder to attend if he’s not playing. For Phil, it would be torture to get this small glimpse of the grounds, and all the other champions would demand an explanation he might not be ready to offer. And amid this week’s Tiger lovefest, I think it would make Mickelson feel even worse that he’s not teeing it up. So it seems like the longest of long shots that he would jet into town just to break bread.

Although that specific question is getting old.  What part of "Not invited" dis unclear to folks?  

Make your best case for Spieth winning his second green jacket, and your best case for him missing the cut. (I won’t read the second half of your answer but figured I should ask for balance.) #askalan @MuirFalls

Best case: He remains a premier iron player, his putter can still turn molten, and no one has played the course better over the last eight years.

Worst case: He’s jumpier than a cat on a hot tin roof.

I think the best part of Alan's answer is the accompanying photo.  Rather than showing the more obvious photo of Bubba putting the coat on Jordan, he shows Jordan being forced to do the same for Willet, after having rinsed two balls on the 12th hole to kick away what looked to be back-to-back wins.

Though I am legally required to remind folks of how hard it is to actually miss a Masters cut.  You have to edge out Sandy Lyle and Bernhard Langer, and not much more.

perhaps I was a bit quick on the trigger, as Alan seems to at least get it from these two bits:

#AskAlan Have you had anyone use ”bull hockey” in an interview to get ON the record? Also, do you agree with the sentiment that putting the ANWA the same week as the Dinah and putting in a contrived cut for the girls is, well, exactly what Christina Kim said?

Ha ha, only Christina. Her critiques are on point, as usual. It royally sucks that any young woman can qualify for the ANWA but not get to play a tournament round at Augusta National. Ditch the cut, and let ‘em all play. And no doubt the creation of the ANWA has had a chilling effect on the Dinah Shore. It is unfortunate, but the LPGA is having to move the Dinah on the calendar for it to have the spotlight it deserves.

I will miss Mission Hills as the venue for the Dinah. Perfect weather, mountains, Dinah Shore’s statue, Poppy’s Pond were all iconic components. What do the players think about the move? #AskAlan @david_troyan

They’re bummed but pragmatic: The new sponsor is good for the long-term health of the tournament, even though it makes us traditionalists sad. All of those elements you cite were indeed part of the tournament, but Mission Hills is never going to make anyone’s top 100. The players are going to miss the pageantry but not the course.

I don't think he's right about that last bit.  They mostly have come to love the venue, even many of the shorter hitters.  The funny bit is that I felt about Poppy's pond much like Alan feels about the piano music, but there's a comforting familiarity in it as well.

Is it too far-fetched to think Rory either intentionally or subconsciously missed the cut last week in order to relieve expectations and pressure — from others as well as from himself — about Augusta and the career Grand Slam? #askalan @MuirFalls

With him, you never know. But I think Rory should try something new and arrive in Augusta on Wednesday night, or even Thursday morning. Just walk straight to the 1st tee and let it rip. This place is so deep in his head that I think the shorter the preamble the better.

What was he doing in San Antonio to begin with?  There's little doubt that Rory's mind is not his friend these days, but it always seems better to freak out ahead of time, as opposed to on the first tee Thursday.

One last one, which I've always noted is a big ask of a club:

To combat length, do you think ANGC will ever require all contestants to use ANGC-sanctioned, rolled-back golf balls? @bill_lundeen

Only as an absolute last resort because it would change, and possibly, taint the competition. Imagine if the NBA suddenly raised the rims to 11 feet just for the finals. It would still be basketball, but do you really want to make the players change their game at such a crucial moment?

I wouldn't think this would even be discussed until the USGA/R&A complete their abdication on this issue, in 2050.

A Blogger's Dilemma -  I participate in the Masters pool run by former Willow Ridge member Yale Stogel, whose format is to have each participant pick a player from each of six tranches.  It's that last tranche (which are based upon world rankings) that's most interesting this year:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There's more current talent on that list than I'd have expected, but do I or don't I?  I'm thinking the answer is probably not, under the theory that everyone else will be checking that box.  But still, Tiger as a value play is a rare opportunity...

It's almost game time, kids.  Enjoy!

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