Tuesday, November 23, 2021

Tuesday Treatises

 OK, I promised I'd get to that video.....

He's Baaack - If you've scanned a calendar, the timing of this video should come as no surprise

By way of comparison:

Abraham Zapruder stood on a concrete pedestal along Elm Street in Dealey Plaza holding a high-end Model 414 PD Bell & Howell Zoomatic Director Series Camera. He filmed from the time the presidential limousine turned onto Elm Street[1] for a total of 26.6 seconds, exposing 486 frames of standard 8 mm Kodachrome II safety film, running at an average of 18.3 frames/second.

But, hey, Tiger gave us three seconds of video, so we've got that going for us.

Which of the two has been more thoroughly analyzed?  Well, one has broken out to a substantial lead, though perhaps they're not finished with the Zapruder film.

 Dylan Dethier might have been first past the post with this:

5 revealing details from Tiger Woods’ surprising swing video

Any truth to the rumor that there's a Hitchcock cameo?  

1. The shorts are getting shorter.

Is it possible that “making progress” referred not to Woods’ recovery but in fact to the length of his inseam? For better or worse, Woods has favored the black cargo short for years, but until now he liked those shorts long. This is the first instance I can remember of Woods going above the knee. A thrill to see such an influential figure joining the short shorts movement.

You see Dylan's error... He's already put far more effort into this than the subject of said film.

2. We’ve heard “making progress” before.

The Tiger Woods Comeback Range Video is an entire subgenre of the golf world. It was four years ago that we were breathlessly tracking updates from an injured Woods. He posted one driver video from Medalist with the caption “Making Progress” which set the sports world ablaze.

 

This year? Same verbiage, though Woods ditched the capital P in “Progress” in favor of this year’s more casual caption. Whether his social media manager was making a nod to the last comeback or just has consistent taste when it comes to efficient copy, here’s hoping “making progress” still has some magic to it.

Or, and I know this is the liquor talking, this is a complete afterthought and no one gives a s**t.

But have you considered that it's even worse than my reference above?

5. He’s using a launch monitor.

The closest thing we have to a hint on Woods’ intentions isn’t the swing itself — it’s the presence of the Full Swing launch monitor in the foreground. That suggests he’s testing where his swing is, where his speed is, where his game is. The first time Woods went out to hit chip shots, we’re guessing he didn’t have a launch monitor. Now? He’s already made significant progress, and he has his eyes on the future.

[Update: Is this also some clever guerilla marketing? A couple hours after the post I received an email trumpeting the merits of the Full Swing, which counts Woods among its investors. Savvy! And even though this is playing directly into their hands, if your interest is piqued, the Full Swing KIT Outdoor Launch Monitor is available here for $3,999.]

Ummm, Dylan, it's far too obvious to constitute guerilla marketing, which you might have anticipated were you not in love-struck groupie mode.   Of course, who doesn't want to party with the band...

Geoff goes even more overboard with a full-blown Quadrilateral post, marginally salvaged by having his tongue in contact with his cheek, beginning with Tiger's timing:

Not long ago, the sight of Tiger Woods surfacing after months of silence might have been seen as a poorly-timed attention ploy. The social post appeared as the European Tour was winding down the 2021 season before restarting…this week in South Africa.

Geoff apparently didn't get the memo to ixnay "Euro Tour", but there were actually two tours wrapping their seasons this weekend, but Tiger has never hesitated to grab the spotlight at such moments.  The best example is when he held his 2010 mea culpa presser the Wednesday of the match play.  Why the Tour allows this nonsense remains an open question.

Geoff throws a bunch fof bullet points at the wall, with trace levels of humor detected:

  • Was this just a late PIP play? The PGA Tour’s super-silly, super-secret bonus program was going to be won by Woods since it was a rigged cannard to stop stars from taking disruptor money. Maybe Woods sensed someone was lurking and wanted another 23,629 Retweets, 172,462 Likes and 5.7 million views (as of this writing)? The man is a PIP legend already. 
  • He must be itching to play since he’s got a launch monitor out already? Or he needed to keep his friends at Full Swing happy. And feeling frisky about his rehab, too. 
  • Did he hear how much the Saudis are offering middle-of-the-road stars and decide he needs to re-join the disruptor league conversation, one he could shape or kill?

Have you met Mr. Occam and his famous razor?  The timing shouldn't be much of a mystery...

Just yesterday I reminded you of my high regard for Michael Bamberger, a man I've had cause to nominate as the conscience of our game.  but this one is odd:

Funny thing is, and I'm as guilty as anyone in this regard, sometimes we don't listen to ourselves as the words tumble out.  For instance, Mike's lede:

Tiger Woods posted footage of a single swing on Sunday, a three-second clip, and golf came to a standstill. Your first and human response had to be relief. The February car crash that could have killed him didn’t.

In terms of broad interest to golf’s masses, it wasn’t even a fair fight. Woods’s mini-doc v. Jin Young Ko’s win in Florida? Or Collin Morikawa’s win in Dubai? Or even Rory McIlroy and his desecrated golf shirt? Woods wins, every which way to Sunday.

Right.  The obvious conclusion is that Tiger is either embittered by or disdainful of the golf tours and their members, and is actively seeking to undermine them by drawing attention to himself at just the time their audience should be peaking.  Nice guy.

It gets worse:

Making progress, Woods’s Sunday release, was a savvy piece of marketing. Tiger’s life, more than any person I can think of — with the possible exception of Michael Jackson — has unfolded in front of cameras. Those cameras have enriched him almost beyond measure and cost him, too. Regardless, he’s addicted to them.

Ko and Morikawa and McIlroy had no chance because Woods — aided by his late father, by Phil Knight, by his many sponsors, past and present — has been doing this for 30 years. The selling of Tiger Woods. All those wins, all those Buick spots, all those post-round interviews. Nobody’s going to catch up to him, ever.

Savvy?  But, Mike, did you happen to notice that exactly nothing has unfolded in front of cameras since February?  

The clip from the Medalist range prepares us for a press conference he’ll likely have next week in the Bahamas, at his tournament there, the Hero World Challenge. TMZ won’t get a press credential there. In other words, it’s a good and safe way for Woods to begin his return to public life, following the devastating single-vehicle car crash he had in February. He hasn’t said a word about it. He likely never will. What’s the upside?

Gee, I don't know, Mike, it might be nice for him to explain and/or apologize for his actions which quite obviously imperiled anyone that might have been on the street.  Combined with being found drugged to the gills on the side of a Florida road, the man seems to be a vehicular tragedy waiting to happen.

But here comes a helluva fever dream:

With the possible exception of Ben Crenshaw, I can’t think of another Hall of Fame golfer who has such a powerful affinity for golf history, who knows so much about what Arnold did and how he did it. Ditto for Jack Nicklaus, for Lee Trevino, for Ben Hogan, for Sam Snead.

Let’s say other competing tours, world tours that threaten the hegemony of the PGA Tour, actually materialize. Any such tour will need name players. The single-greatest weapon at Jay Monahan’s disposal, in terms of trying to squash these other tours, is Tiger Woods his own self, and Tiger’s sense of history.

Imagine that you’re Morikawa or Jordan Spieth or Bryson DeChambeau or even Phil Mickelson, and somebody is offering you a guaranteed $50 million to sign on the dotted line. And now you have Tiger Woods on the line and he’s talking to you about how Bob Goalby and Doug Ford and Jack Nicklaus created this modern PGA Tour in the first place, the tour that you grew up on, the tour that fueled your dreams.

Who are we to cut bait from all that?

Mike, you might want to step back from that open bar.... Seriously, what is he smoking?

First and foremost, on the subject of breakaway tours, which do we think better describes Tiger:

  1. Deeply grateful for the opportunities presented by the PGA Tour and devoted to ensuring its survival, or;
  2. Me! Me! Me! Me!
Excuse me, but who exactly was the PIP program designed to appease?

But the second point is one I've struggled with in all our myriad discussions of the Premiere/Super/Wahabi tours under discussion.  Focus, is you will, on that last bit in the penultimate graph.  Do children go to sleep dreaming of PGA Tour stardom?  Oh my God, how silly can we be?

No, kids dream of winning the Masters...maybe the U.S. Open.  If you're Jon Rahm and grow up in Europe, maybe the Open Championship, though that likely has changed since the Seve era....Mike is just off his meds if he thinks Tiger gives a rat's ass about the Global Home.

But I'd also urge you to keep this top of mind as the Saudi/Greg Norman/Premiere League thrusts and parries play out.  Hundreds of millions of dollars are being offered to entice players to break away and form a new circuit of second tier events.  Ironic, no?

But here's the most curious bit.  Mike had a second bite at this apple in the Tour Confidential panel we linked yesterday, and his answer was quite different.  Oh, he lauded the man (not to mention his swing), but he devoted a paragraph to indicate he hasn't drunk quite all the Kool-aid:

Michael Bamberger: As Sandy Tatum once said of Tom Watson’s move, “He has a swing that will not quit.” Just replace one TW with another and the sentence holds. Even without anything like his normal speed, there’s a majesty to Woods’s swing. I think you’d say that even if he didn’t have 15 Grand Slam titles attached to his name. But he does. As Jack Nicklaus says, “Never bet against Tiger Woods.”

I’m going to guess that Joe LaCava and Charlie Woods were out of the frame but pushing him, each in his own way. The session reminded me of the spectacular footage, available through the magic of YouTube, of Hogan explaining his swing to George Coleman in George Coleman’s South Florida backyard, a feature of which is the Atlantic Ocean. (The balls were irretrievable; it was not a carbon-neutral session.) There are layers upon layers with anything involving Tiger Woods’s public life, and he reveals almost nothing about his interior one, which is what will determine most whether he can be a tournament golfer again. (Third ‘graph of the NPR — NPR! — story about the clip is telling: “‘Making progress,’ he captioned the post.”)

But I take those three seconds for what they are: the miracle of medical science, the drive of a singular man, the demands of the marketplace. He has to sell his Albany event, his Riviera event, his restaurant and all the rest. Golf clubs, golf courses, a huge educational foundation. That requires a public life and so a moment from an otherwise private session was released for the world to dissect. (Some will say the mini-clip shows his ego at work. I wouldn’t agree, but it does show that the laws of supply-and-demand require some supply.) What the clip ultimately shows is Tiger at his core. He’s a golfer.

I completely agree that the clip shows us quite a bit, though I'd widen the focus and add the entire period since the February accident.  What that shows is a range of aspects of Tiger Woods, included within is the fact that he's a golfer.  But it's also shown us many other aspects of Tiger, and those are equally deserving of Mike's scrutiny, though he'd likely fail to get it past his editors.

The Match - JV Edition - I assume I'll watch it out of shear boredom, but I don't expect anyone's reputation will be helped by the event.  OK, maybe Charles Barkley could come out looking good, but that's about all in my humble opinion.

There’s a joke going around Las Vegas that The Match between Brooks Koepka and Bryson
DeChambeau is being contested over 12 holes on Friday because DeChambeau wanted to play 24 holes and Koepka wanted to play none.

“That’s fair,” Koepka said. “Eighteen holes with him is a long time. I don’t want to be around him as much as anyone else.”

When asked to choose one word to describe the state of their relationship, Koepka said, “non-existent.”

DeChambeau described the two PGA Tour stars as having “kind of a disdain for each other.”

And I find myself agreeing with both of them...

They go on in this "Mean Girls" mode:

“I don’t hit him up every day and my phone isn’t blowing up so you can do the math,” Koepka said.

“The thing I’m looking most forward to is kicking his butt,” DeChambeau said. “For some reason, he doesn’t like me and whatever. It is what it is. I’m here to showcase and spark kids to play a game in a unique way and apparently he doesn’t like that. I don’t know what’s up with that?”

“He can continue to try to bully me,” DeChambeau added. “He’s not doing a very good job of it as of right now. I think we’re winning, personally. He’s obviously gotten his fun little jabs and what not but he’s missed a couple of cuts so I don’t know what else to say about that. You can’t say much when you miss cuts.”

Though...

The golf world had been rooting for the two to be paired together in a final round with a trophy on the line, but the televised exhibition, which will air on TNT with Charles Barkley and Phil Mickelson among the broadcasters, will have to suffice for now.

“Obviously no one would put us together so we had to do it on our own,” Koepka said. “I think the whole world wants to see it. I’m giving the people what they want. I’m a man of the people.”

Speaking for those people, would it be terribly inconvenient to just go away and shut the hell up?

Drafting On Alan -  His mailbox, that is, because I'm giving the people what they want:

Is Phil actually the greatest golfer of all time? And we’ve just been using the wrong criteria? @jjcoop007

I think we can safely say he’s the most entertaining golfer of all time, and that’s enough. Phil is the gift that just keeps giving. He has turned into a caricature of himself, but it’s impossible to look away. I’m so grateful we had him during the Tiger era—he was an excellent foil, and he always made things fun, even if slightly ridiculous. Hard to believe that for more than three decades he has been at the front ranks of the game. What a legend.

A seriously delusional question, though I'm sufficiently curious to know what criteria would yield the desired answer?

But the MEAT?  Isn't that a fun question, one I could use more time on.  Names like Hagen and Seve jump out at me, though I'm quite certain I'm ignoring all sorts of other options.  Doug Sanders, anyone?  I sense a future post...

Will Phil’s performance on the Senior Tour (4 wins in 6 starts) either save the franchise or kill it as those already on that tour have no chance at beating him? @wadster13

It is a reflection of Mickelson’s vast star power that we are even talking about the seniors, and therefore I think you have answered your own question. He is clearly the best thing to happen to that tour in a really long time. Jim Furyk and Ernie Els can still beat him in any given week, and I, for one, look forward to watching them try.

I suspect it'll bore Phil pretty quickly, but still an unqualified home run for the round bellies.

Just a reminder that these questions go back a week, competition-wise, so the questioner is reacting to that near miss the week prior, when she lost to Nelly in a playoff:

How much scar tissue can Lexi Thompson accrue before she says, I’m done with the
disappointments of golf and I’m hanging it up? The heartbreak of professional golf is hard to watch sometimes. @LaBeets50

Just as with Rory McIlroy, I think Lexi should take a year-long sabbatical. Don’t touch a club, just travel, hang out, live life and recharge the batteries and competitive hunger. Lexi, especially, projects a heavy wariness. I’m not sure anyone expected her to make those do-or-die putts on the closing holes at the Pelican, least of all Lexi. I give her credit for persevering despite all the setbacks, but, as you suggest, the toll just keeps accumulating.

Note the passive voice?  This is just all something that happens to the girl... Even Alan kinda goes along with his bit about not expecting her to make the putts.  It's not that she misses putts, it's that she's unable to make her normal putting stroke under final round pressure, what Johnny  Miller used the C-word to describe.  I know that i watched the final round of the U.S. Open and, when she walked off the tenth green with a five-stroke lead, I asked myself to guess at the manner in which she would blow it....

Golf is hard and elite-level golf is impossible, so the bigger surprise is that anyone can take the club back at such moments.  But Lexi's backstory is that she was battle-hardened by competing against those two brothers growing up, though the reality is far harder to watch.

How similar are the courses on the Bonesaw Circuit to the ones in Texas? Kokrak might end up being the Tiger of that thing if they’re close. Serious question though: It’s a bummer to see someone affiliated with the Saudis get a win. How much is the specter of that going to affect how we digest the Tour for a while? @luke_peacock

The insidious thing about sportswashing is that it works. Six months ago I registered my disdain for the Saudis’ encroachment into professional golf, and I have returned to this topic regularly in this space and on the Full Send podcast. But at some point fatigue sets in, both for me and the reader/listener. And the pablum of the Jason Kokraks of the world just further normalizes the relationship between golf and the Saudis’ blood money. We all need to keep our eyes wide open and continue to call out the hypocrisy and greed. Whether it has any effect on the discourse is unknown, but that’s all we can do.

This is truly interesting, because this little bit about the Saudis (and we can stipulate to their mendacity) has been overtaken by the Peng Shuai story (not to mention trifles like those Uighur concentration camps).   Are we going to hold the Chinese to the same standards?  it's all coming to a head with the Olympics there in February and you might want to get out ahead of this one...

How great has Steve Alker’s run been?!? One of the greatest stories and a really good guy. Think he made more money in the last six weeks than his whole career. @Elpulpo8888

As Monday Q Info recently detailed, Alker’s life-changing binge began with a successful Monday qualifier at the Boeing Classic three months ago. Alker finished seventh, earning another start by virtue of his top-10 finish. Then he did that five more times in a row, along the way earning his playing status (and $1.1 million). What a cool story, and just the latest reminder that professional golf, despite its flaws, remains the ultimate meritocracy.

In so many ways this should be what the senior circuit is about, and far more interesting than Phil's run of wins has been.  But, that's a decidely minority opinion for sure.

I'm not sure why he wouldn't have included this up top with the Phil series:

Will there ever be a day Tiger vs. Phil battling it out on the senior tour? @Squizz612

A few years ago I would have said no way, but now? I could see it happening at a few of the big events, if Tiger is able to reconstruct his game. Neither of these proud champions wants to suffer the irrelevancy of finishing 50th every week on the big Tour. They live for the adrenaline high of being in contention, and they’ll never tire of trying to beat the other guy. Realistically, the Senior Tour is where this can happen. Before his car accident, Tiger was probably too proud to ride in a golf cart during competition. But if his reconstituted foot can’t take the pounding of walking day after day, the carts of the Senior Tour might be a saving grace.

I'm still going with "No", for the simple fact that Tiger ain't giving Phil another shot at him, mostly because I don't think he'll especially like his chances.

Why does the Tour have a fall season? No one cares. @rdpatterson99

I don’t know, man, you cared enough to fire off this question. Is the fall season great golf? Not really. But I will always contend it’s better than no golf at all!

You'd think Alan would take a wider perspective here.  The real reason the Tour has those fall events is so that no one else can get a foothold, so there's a price paid elsewhere, such as Australia, whose competition season has been marginalized.

But the far bigger question is how to make the fall more interesting, and I think the answer is to make it smaller.  A season of developmental tour events where guys are fighting for their status, rather than Matt Kuchar playing to break $50 million in career top ten finishes.

If you could do anything you wanted format wise with a regular PGA Tour event, what would it be? @SteveThomsonMN

A co-ed mixed-team event is a no-brainer, and I have been assured by various powers-that-be that it’s gonna happen. How about a whole tournament as three- or four-club challenge? I would love if New Orleans was two rounds of alternate shot and two rounds of worst-ball scramble—that would destroy some friendships.

There's a far easier answer.  Jay just so happens to have an event in his portfolio that doesn't really work as originally envisioned.   It includes the Asian men, who haven't been remotely competitive.  By coincidence, the balance of power in women's golf is to be found in South Korea, so isn't a mixed Prez Cup a blindingly obvious solution?

Phil is 51 and said he expects to play both the Senior and regular tours next year. Realistically, can he compete on the big tour? @JStew68129215

He didn’t really compete this year, and yet he’s eating Cocoa Puffs out of the Wanamaker Trophy every morning. It’s unrealistic to expect Mickelson to be a regular force on Tour, but he’s clearly still dangerous on courses that demand talent and imagination, which is most of the major championship venues.

After Kiawah, who wants to stake his reputation on the fact that Phil can't compete with the big boys?  Alan nails it, the mistake would be to assume week-to-week competitiveness, but he could still be dangerous at moments.

Which caddie could jump on the sticks and not make a fool of themselves? @LiontamerStuart

OGs like Paul Tesori, Lance Ten Broeck and Damon Green for sure. Younger Bucks like Keith Nolan, Joe Greiner and Brett Waldman all have competitive backgrounds. There are many, many caddies who are good golfers in their own right.

Austin Johnson?  Lots of good sticks to be found in the caddie yard, though skills might have rusted a bit.

Should there be a senior Ryder Cup match with Phil Mickelson and Bernhard Langer, who are firing on all cylinders, both playing? @BillDonald1

A senior Ryder Cup would be riveting theater. Can you imagine how yippy it would get?! And the captains would have to collude to give us the matchups we want: Zinger vs. Olazabal, Calcavecchia vs. Monty, Irwin vs. Langer, Mickelson vs. Clarke…so many possibilities!

C'mon, Alan, what have you been drinking?  It has to be Zinger v. Faldo.... Seve would have been better, but I heard he died.

This is such a no-brainer I can't conceive that it hasn't happened yet.  I do think you'd find the Euro team a little thin at the bottom, but who cares about the details?  Of course, you might need age brackets.

That's a wrap for today, kids.  I'll be around and blogging, to the extent that there's anything about which to blog. 

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