Which, alas, will have to serve as your Friday Frisson as well. Your humble correspondent, having seen Sunday's forecast, needs to get in a little more Fall golf tomorrow. Robert Conquest famously has his three laws of politics, but I've only got the one about blogging. To wit, the blogging of the golf shall never preclude the playing of the golf.
Didn't See This Coming - While we slept, Tiger posted a number:
The shovels were at the ready, the piles of dirt in place to be tossed on Tiger Woods.
After not playing for nine weeks, after returning from a fifth surgical procedure to his leftknee, after getting only three weeks of solid reps playing regular rounds of golf, Woods began bogey-bogey-bogey on Thursday in his season debut in the Zozo Championship at Accordia Golf Narashino Country Club.
Clearly, the time had come to end any talk of Woods naming himself to the Presidents Cup team. Seriously, it had been four months since he had a top-10 on the PGA Tour and six months since he won the Masters.
And then Woods did a remarkable about-face.
After looking like a chop, he could barely have looked better.
He shot 64 after that dreadful start and finds himself tied for the lead with Gary Woodland, another lad vying for a free plane ticket to Australia.
Tiger's post-round comments are typically anodyne, though he does tip off that they've got weather issues with which to contend:
On his approach to the remaining 54 holes of the tournament
“Well, I think that it’s going to be sloppy and tough for us tomorrow morning before the storm gets in and I think we’re probably going to get a little bit wet while we’re playing out there tomorrow and then it’s going to be a grind on the weekend. There’s going to be a lot of golf on the weekend for all of us, probably be close to, what, 54 holes or so for some of the guys that are going out there on the weekend. So it will be a long couple days for us.”
Can't be a pleasant prospect for a guy with a surgically-repaired back...
John Feinstein puts his dedicated Ponte Vedra parking spot at risk with this plea to the Captain:
Why Tiger shouldn’t pick Tiger for the Presidents Cup
The gist of the argument comes from this little anecdote:
In 1993, after the United States had rallied on Sunday to win a dramatic Ryder Cup—the last time the Americans won in Europe—Seve Ballesteros and Nick Faldo sat togetherduring that night’s press conference. Bernard Gallacher had captained Europe to two close losses, and someone asked Europe’s two biggest stars who should lead the team at Oak Hill in two years. With a wide smile, Ballesteros said, “It should be Nick. I think he’d do a great job.”
“What?” Faldo said, genuinely shocked and a little concerned that Ballesteros was serious. “You want me to decide who to put in the team, get everyone ready to play, decide who is going to play each day and win my matches? No way.”
For once I agree with the not-yet-Sir Nick... At least as far as assessing his own capabilities, but perhaps that's because I remember seeing him out-maneuvered at Valhalla in '08.
But this bit is a howler:
But there are a myriad of reasons Woods shouldn’t name himself. Let’s start with his health—which is always an issue. The week before the matches, Woods is going to play four rounds in the exhibition he and his foundation run in the Bahamas. Then he has to fly across the world to Australia and, if he’s playing, will need to play practice rounds and tee it up as early as Thursday, if he puts himself in the lineup on the first day.
That might not sound terribly daunting, but Woods has said he needs to pick his spots to play as he approaches his 44th birthday with a back that’s always going to be a question mark. There’s no need for him to play in Australia. His only playing goal right now should be to prepare for the Masters.
He has no choice but to play in the Bahamas. He has a choice at Royal Melbourne.
Ya got that? He has no choice but to play in an exhibition? John seems to be struggling with the concept of free will.... Not that the Prez Cup isn't an exhibition as well, but you'll get my point.
John's point, and it's one worth considering, is that Tiger should play because it's too much for hsi delicate body. Of course, the Tour signed off on this schedule to benefit Tiger, so you'll appreciate the irony.
But just to lay a marker down, it would seem that this schedule is a bit of a risk. Tiger and a good chunk of the U.S. Team will finish the Hero on Saturday night, and get on plane for Down Under. By contrast, no players from the opposition will be in the Bahamas, though there are still two spots in that field to fill. So, should the U.S. team arrive jet-lagged and get off to a poor start, where do we direct the vitriol?
Further complicating John's thoughts is the fact that Tiger might need five names as opposed to four:
World No. 1 Brooks Koepka underwent a stem-cell procedure Aug. 26 for a partially tornpatella tendon in his left knee, which had been bugging him since last March.
After missing the cut in his first start of the season in the Shriners Hospitals for Children Open the first week of October, the four-time major winner aggravated the same knee after slipping on wet concrete during the second round of last week’s CJ Cup in Korea and withdrew from the tournament the following day.
The status of said knee now is unknown, as is his participation in next week’s World Golf Championships-HSBC Champions in China and the Presidents Cup in December in Australia.
Kevin Na, come on down....
Captain Tiger is chill, perhaps not sensing any serious competition to be had:
“As of right now, we’re just waiting on what the surgeon says and what Brooks is going to do,” Woods added. “He is getting other opinions on what are his options. You want to go through as many different opinions as you possibly can before you decide what you are going to do.
“I told him to take his time. No hurry. You’re part of the team. You earned your way in the top eight spots. You’re on the team. You have to figure out what is best for your career and your knee and if you decide you can’t play, great. I totally understand. We’ll cross that bridge when it comes.”
Obviously, Tiger can relate. Most folks think that his career record against Brooks comes down to his 15-4 lead in majors, but I focus more on the fact that he has him 5-1 in knee surgeries.
Those Delicate Flowers Need Everything - For some reason this story tickles my funny bone:
Five years have passed since the R&A was dragged, virtually at the point of a bayonet, towards something approaching the 21st century by allowing women to become members. That time-honoured traditions (discrimination), even slower to break down at Muirfield, lasted so long is as farcical now as was the case in 2014.
In early 2017, it was revealed there were still no changing facilities for females within the R&A clubhouse. The R&A was unrepentant about a policy whereby women had to wander up the street at St Andrews to Forgan House when seeking a shower or place of privacy to switch clothing.Belatedly – and surprisingly – this scenario is to change. In a move that must be linked in part to the backlash the R&A suffered almost three years ago, a female changing room is to be built into the historic clubhouse. It says everything about lingering perceptions that this is notable in the first place.“We are in the early stages of planning upgrades to the clubhouse, including the installation of women’s changing rooms,” a spokesman for the R&A said. “We are consulting with members before we finalise our plans. There is no firm timetable but it will be a phased programme which will take us beyond 2021.”
In their defense, it's a really old building, dating back to 1854, that's gotta be quite the bitch to renovate. But I can only hope that they're using the opportunity to get ahead of the curve and build a transgender changing facility (changing, get it?) at the same time.
Why I Don't Worry About The Future of Golf - All in a single header:
John Smoltz and other pro jocks embrace golf for many reasons, but mostly because that competitive fire never leaves
Fact is, as we get older the opportunities to compete diminish. Golf fills that void perfectly, the kicker being that you don't even need to be especially good at it.
My nephew is a hot-shot mogul skier, ranked as high as 31st in the country. I keep advising him to find his way to golf when he can, using this very point.
Skins Detritus - Shipnuck's mailbag starts with some Skins-related queries:
#AskAlan- I’m going to assume that Tiger, Rory, Jason, and Hideki got a huge appearance fee for doing the Skins Game. My question is, Why do it? These guys already make so much money, and travel so much, how much is enough? I’d rather have a real off-season. – @war_eagle1988
Well, you can enjoy any off-season you want, but I see your point. The charitable answer is that Tiger needs reps and the other guys couldn’t say no to the player they grew up idolizing. Obviously there are business considerations well beyond the paltry Skins purse, but as you point out, these guys already have tons of money. I really think the cult of personality around Tiger is what compelled everyone else to get on the plane. And Tiger knows he has a finite number of swings left so he is trying to maximize this playing/endorsements window before it slams shut.
The guys have always played during the Tour's offseason, think of Jack's many trips to Australia. I assume the foursome was going to play the ZoZo anyway, and the Skins was just a paid practice round.
The beter question is about the Tour's fall schedule, such as this one:
What does it say about me, Jay Monahan, reflexive American self-indulgence, the death of restraint or anything else it may reflect upon that I find these coming months of the (mostly non-PGA Tour) golf calendar to be the most enriching and deeply satisfying of the year, by far? – @Lou_TireWorld
I take this is an indictment of the PGA Tour product: the one-dimensional venues and style of play and the, uh, less-than-charismatic persona of the archetypical competitor. After months on end of this, there is an unmistakable sameness. Meanwhile, the European tour is visiting exotic places and its leaderboards are populated by more colorful characters. Pretty soon Australia and South Africa will begin serving up stellar events. But when it comes to the PGA Tour, I will say that the Fall season has grown on me. (Sounds like you, too.) There is low-key charm to events like Napa and Sea Island and Greenbrier that is a throwback to a simpler time, before FedEx Cup points were the coin of the realm.
I agree with Alan about venues such as The Greenbrier. But surely Alan and his questioner aren't digging money-grabs such as the HSBC and CJ Cup?
Back to Skins Stuff:
Is a women’s Skins Game possible sometime in the future? What would it take to make it happen? Who would be the likely four players? Lexi, Brooke, Jin Young Ko, Ariya???? – @PopsandSunshine
l love this. All it would take is a sponsor to step up and underwrite the show. The purse the other night was a teeny-weeny $300K so a big investment isn’t needed. Golf Channel is so desperate for programming Monday-Wednesday, surely a spot could be found for something fun and new like this. You need extroverts and stars who transcend borders, so I’d pick Lexi, Danielle Kang, one of the Kordas, and the Tiger of the women’s game, Inbee Park.
Would a Skins Game at a tough course between four long-drive champs be fun? – @MagicNumberLA
Yes, please. Watching them wreak havoc off the tee would be almost as entertaining as the short-game blunders and yippy putting strokes.
I'd think the second has a far greater likelihood of happening... But really, don't these things pretty much always underwhelm?
Mystic, Schmystic - Taking time better spent sorting through his mailbag, Shippy tries to sell us old and tired goods:
Into the mystic: Golf in the Kingdom’s magical power still inspires, as does its visionary author
“Norman Mailer said every writer gets one book that is a gift from God,” says Michael Murphy with a twinkle, “and Golf in the Kingdom was mine.”
But which deity bestowed the gift? Was it Shiva, the Hindu god of destruction and
Murphy (r) with Aldous Huxley. redemption, whose name is evoked by Shivas Irons, the mysterious Scottish teaching pro at the core of the novel? Is it the Episcopalian god the young Murphy served in the 1940s as an altar boy in his hometown of Salinas, Calif.? Perhaps it is Buddha, whose teachings first entranced Murphy in the comparative religion class he took at Stanford, the seminal experience of his life, which set him off on a quest to become, in his felicitous phrasings, “an astronaut of inner space” and “lead a Manhattan Project of the psyche.” Maybe the book was a present from the very golf gods that beguile and bewitch us all, given to Murphy so he could help us make sense of an inexplicable game of which he writes, “How often have we seen a round go from an episode out of The Three Stooges to the agonies of King Lear — perhaps in the space of one hole?” When Murphy talks of the writing of GITK, his first book and, indeed, his first attempt to write one, he speaks in biblical terms, saying, “It came like a flood.”
That the very spark of GITK remains a mystery to its author should come as no surprise considering the book has been disorientating readers ever since its publication in 1972. The first half of it is a tale in three acts: a young Californian named Michael Murphy is on his way to India to study the teachings of the guru Aurobindo but first stops in Scotland, where he plays a round of golf in which, under Shivas Irons’ tutelage, his consciousness is altered and game unlocked. This is followed by a convivial dinner party where the meaning and mysteries of the game are discussed and debated. Finally, at midnight, Michael and Shivas return to the course (the fictitious Links of Burningbush, which shares much in common with the Old Course) in search of Seamus MacDuff, a sage and a seer who is Irons’ mentor. They never find this specter-like creature, but Shivas makes an ace in the moonlight using an old feathery and MacDuff’s only club, a crude Irish shillelagh. The second half of the book is a series of musings on the game, purportedly copied from Shivas’ journals.
You say mystical, I say impenetrable. Though I do admittedly think sometimes that I should give it another try.... Nah, life's too short.
More Alan - A few more random items, then I'll store some things up for Monday:
Rory took the high road when asked about Brooks’ comments at the Skins Game, but deep down, they had to hurt at least a little. Do you think the comments will stoke Rory’s competitive fire this coming season, or do you expect him to continue his Zen-like approach in 2020? – @MichaelGeiger13
I was deeply disappointed by Rory’s response. This was no time to be classy and diplomatic! Brooks challenged his manhood and McIlroy retreated, just as Bryson did when Koepka said he’d kick his butt in a fistfight and DeChambeau agreed. You can’t give a competitor that kind of mental edge, especially one who is already preening about like Brooks. Rory certainly played at an extremely high level in 2019 but I’m not sold on his commitment to equanimity. He has always been a passionate player and that mojo is an important part of sports. If anything, during those dispiriting moments when Rory has shrunk from the moment, he’s seemed too subdued and introverted. I want more fire from him, not less.
Rory seems more and more like a healthy, well-adjusted young man. Trouble is, that doesn't work well at the highest levels of sport...
Let me interject a couple of Rory sidebars at this point. First, Rory is getting props for this jab at the U.S.:
Leave it to Rory McIlroy to echo this sentiment ahead of this week's Zozo Championship in Japan. Two days removed from an appearance in MGM Resorts The Challenge: JapanSkins, the Northern Irishman met with the media on Wednesday at Accordia Golf Narashino C.C., and he was asked why he thinks the Americans dominance in the Presidents Cup doesn't translate to the Ryder Cup. His short answer was both funny and painfully accurate.
"They're not playing Europe in the Presidents Cup?" McIlroy coyly offered.Ouch.
Though the one Euro the Yanks have little trouble beating is that same Rory fellow. Rory also made news with this:
In May, Rory McIlroy said he would “likely” play next year’s Olympic Games in Japan. On Wednesday at the Zozo Championship, he removed the caveat and confirmed that he plans to play for Ireland in the 2020 Games.
Really an impossible position to be in, nationality wise. Hard to understand unless you've spent some time in those six counties of Northern Ireland.
But in a post-Brexit world, should he and the Brits be allowed to play for Europe in the Ryder Cup?
OK, back to Alan:
Will Phil be on the President’s Cup team? Will Phil be on the 2020 Ryder Cup team? Does Spieth need his swing rebuilt? How soon will Viktor Hovland win? – @TheTexasSteve
No. No. No. Soon.
I certainly agree with the first two of those negatives...
You have very public thoughts on ANGC and the pomposity of the rules, chairmen, etc. What tournament is in 2nd place for journalists (and players) having to mind their Ps and Qs? #AskAlan – @1beardedgolfer
There really isn’t a second place — Augusta has retired the category. Though the uptight folks at the R&A continue to make the working conditions at the Open more and more difficult by restricting access to players and the locker room. But there are still work-arounds and no fear of reprisal, unlike at the Masters.
Reprisals? Care to fill in some background here?
This is worth the price of admission:
Your most embarrassing moment from the beat. Go. – @PGATourSmartin
Oh, that’s easy: Sunday at the 2015 Open Championship. Jordan Spieth is chasing the Grand Slam, and I’m chasing the story. I was inside-the-ropes but got marooned in an awkward spot left of the Road Hole green watching Spieth make his killing bogey there. I wanted to get over the 18th tee to have good view of Spieth’s tee shot; given the crowds and assorted infrastructure the most direct path was cutting in front of the 17th green and looping back to 18 tee. I bolt without hesitation. As I am traversing that sacred sod the people in the massive grandstand behind the green begin whistling and shouting at me. In my haste, I didn’t bother to look down the fairway! Louis Oosthuizen was about to hit his approach shot into the 17th green but backed off when I cut in front of his target! I made a hard left turn just past the green and started hoofing down the edge of the 18th fairway. I was so mortified I became short-of-breath and a little dizzy. I was convinced I was going to get kicked off the property and maybe banned from the Open for life. Imagine if King Louis had hit his shot and it doinked me, potentially costing him the Open and earning me an everlasting infamy. My gawd. Four years later I still wince at what might-have-been. But since no cameras were trained on the empty 17th green and all the focus had shifted to Spieth’s attempt to birdie 18, no one saw my blunder except the fans at 17. Blessedly, it never showed up on social media. Still, it remains one of the most traumatizing moments of my life.
The only thing that would improve that story was if, in lieu of King Louis, it had been a Euro Ryder Cup player. Alan, of course, being the savant that predicted the current era of U.S. Ryder Cup dominance...
Enough Lori Laughlin bashing. Who do you have to pay to get your younger brother into the CJ Cup? – @laz_versalles
We can only hope that Chase Koepka marries Dru Love’s sister so two great dynasties can unite and rule as one.
He didn't have to pay, all he needed to do was agree to show up.... But, to be fair, Chase has made more cuts than his older brother this season.
To wrap up, just in case you though we needed to remove all the knives from Alan's home:
Why do you hate everything? – @MLawler34
I don’t! I’m a fundamentally happy person. I have a great life. The only time I’m ever grouchy is whilst tweeting about golf. I’ll work on that.
No, no, no, MLawler34, I'm the guy that hates everything. Alan is annoyingly upbeat all the time.
Have a great weekend.
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