There's little going on, so how about we see if we can have some fun with Gary Van Sickle's call-and-response feature?
Van Cynical, Why is nobody talking about Rory McIlroy’s Masters performance?
The rumored love interest.
If he makes any putts, he wins by three. I love Jordan Spieth, by the way. — DanFromDC via Twitter
Gee, DC, it might have something to do with Jordo breaking (temporarily) the all-time Masters scoring record and the fact that Rory was never seriously a contender. If Rory makes any putts—well, if took a you-know-what and died. If Jordo doesn’t gaffe two chip shots (including the double at 17 on Saturday), he wins by seven. There ain’t no what-if in golf.
Yeah, that's what's wrong with our sport, Rory doesn't get enough ink....we don't get enough workout videos, Nike commercials or updates on his social life.
These two blur together:
If this is how he looks when happy... Van Cynical, Jim Furyk is a nice guy but he’s not Hall of Fame material with only one major. The minimum requirement should be at least three majors and even that is a bit weak. When is the HOF going to change from an old boys’ club into a legitimate Hall such as the LPGA? Who’s in charge of this fiasco? The PGA Tour? — SoCal Golf Guy via email
It was the PGA Tour that turned the HOF from a legit Hall into an old boys’ club, Guy, when it decided the annual induction ceremony should be a TV show that it could package and sell. The tour took the HOF vote away from media members so it could control who gets in by using a new rubber-stamp panel of golf greats it can control. So our opinions on who should or shouldn’t be in the Hall are moot. An induction ceremony needs inductees and rest assured, at the current pace Furyk will get in.
Vans, Jim Furyk, Hall-worthy? It’s already watered down. You can write the history of golf without mentioning him. He’s a lock for the Hall of Very Good, though. — Michael O’Connor via Twitter
Savvy comment, Mannix. You can write golf history without mentioning a number of major champion winners. Don’t bother having Hall standards anymore. Everybody is going to get in nowadays. Everybody.
Ditto as to the second questioners framing... but that horse isn't just out of the paddock, it's well over the horizon.
Van Cine-man, Movie report: The Squeeze sucks. It’s terrible. It’s worse than
Seven Days in Utopia and even worse than Golf In the Kingdom. It’s even worse than A Gentleman’s Game. I’m good with watching bad movies but this is crap. — Turtle Trader via Twitter
You surely noticed my review was not a rave, Donatello. I gave it a B for its original and surprising ending, and detailed many of its failings. But you sound surprised that Golf In the Kingdom was a bad movie. If you read the book, how could it be anything but?
You know what the best golf movie ever was? I tricked you, there isn't one... OK, Caddyshack had some moments, but it's quite the mess. Tin Cup is a poor man's Bull Durham, which seems appropriate because Rene Russo is a poor man's Susan Sarandon...
I also feel strongly that anyone claiming to have read (or watched) and enjoyed Golf in the Kingdom should immediately be strapped to a polygraph, publicly shunned or, in a perfect world, both. Ponderous, pretentious and impenetrable are some adjectives that come to mind, but even collectively they don't do it justice...
Van Comical, I know it’s not your beat but the LPGA still isn’t quite there. I hate to say it but if I were Alison Lee, for instance, I’d probably use another last name. — Michael O’Connor via Twitter
It’s a fact, Mannix, that a lot of Asian players on the LPGA have similar names. I keep a separate file on players named Lee and Kim and Park because of their sheer numbers. In China, they probably think the NBA has way too many players named Johnson, Williams, Smith and Jones. This is why someone invented marketing—see Birdie Kim, for instance. You’ve got to build your brand your own way.
I've been pondering whether to deal with this issue, with an emphasis on how to do so without seeming xenophobic. The good news is that in confessing that I watch the LPGA I automatically receive a Get-Out-of-Jail-Free card on the misogyny rap...
The names are no doubt a complicating factor, as the South Korean gals seem increasingly interchangeable... they can really play for sure, and they keep coming, but all with the same three surnames. Perhaps uniform numbers and a scorecard?
Sickle cell, When is the PGA Tour going to allow a dress code similar to the LPGA—Lumpy in a spaghetti strap? — Michael Bailey via Twitter
I stand opposed to making fun of middle-aged guys and their body shapes, Bailjumper. On behalf of the golf-writing media, we do miss Mr. Tim Herron being in contention and regaling us with tales in the pressroom. Lumpy, come back…
I got nothing here, but Lumpy in a spaghetti strap is comedy gold...
Van Cynical, If Hilton Head is so popular, why not move it from after the Masters on the schedule? — Brian Norman via Twitter
One reason it’s so popular, Sharky, is that it is right after the Masters and only a relaxing two-and-a-half hour drive from Augusta. Another is that it’s a great vacation spot. You miss the Masters cut, you load your family in the car and drive to Hilton Head for two extra beach days. In addition, while the Phoenix Open gets all the attention as being the tour’s party spot for its loud behavior, the Heritage ranks right up there as one of the best parties on the tour—wine coolers, mixed drinks, marinas and shade trees. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it—just shake it, don’t stir it.
True that... the Tour schedule doesn't always make such good sense, but this event has found the perfect slot on the schedule. It's a perfect, low-key event that aptly suits the week after the Masters and is, as the military is wont to say, Geographically Desirable.
Van Shanksalot, Does Kiradech Aphibarnrat have enough game to be a worldwide stud? — Andrew Polson via Twitter
Enough game, AP? No. Enough name? Absolutely. Sheesh.
Vanna, I'd like to sell a vowel, consonant or,better yet, whole syllables of my name... I've taken to calling him Kiradech Alphabet.
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