Before we start the process of picking up the pieces of our shattered lives, shall we sum up what we learned this week?
Jordan Rules - I'm not sure what's more amazing, shooting 18-under and winning by four, or doing that while leaving a gaggle of shots out there.... First, the obligatory game story:
AUGUSTA, Ga.—Your new Masters champion talks to his ball, has a short game thatcombines the best of vintage Tiger and Phil, and when standing over short putts will look at either the ball or the hole, depending on how he feels.
Jordan Spieth, following up on his second-place finish in his Masters debut last year, never came back to the field on Sunday, shooting a final-round 70 to beat Phil Mickelson (69) and Justin Rose (70) by four strokes. Spieth, 21, became the second youngest Masters champion after Tiger Woods and broke or tied a slew of other records in the process.
“It’s an honor to join those names that have been on the trophy before,” said Spieth, whose 18-under total matched the record set by Woods in 1997. “All in all, just very, very happy with the day today.”
Me, I'm just relieved to know that the oppressed underclass of right-handed golfers can still win at this place...otherwise some sort of affirmative action handicap program was going to be called for. After all, you wouldn't stand in the way of social justice, would you? What? You want me to get back to the golf?
Now of course is that part of the program wherein we put the win in its appropriate context and accurately project the arc of the young man's career. Or not...Sir Nick Faldo had this:
“This is a momentous moment in the history of our game,” Nick Faldo said. “This is definitely a new man who could carry our game on for decades. If these two guys [Spieth and Rory McIlroy] hold and carry on our game with this excitement and this drama golf is in very, very good strong hands. Plus the chasing pack, the backup singers are pretty darn impressive, my goodness.”
As is typical, Sir Nick fell in love with his ability to turn a phrase and beat the backup singer bit into submission, but his booth-mate was equally hyperbolic:
Anchor Jim Nantz called it “one of the epic performances in the annals of this sport.
Let's take a deep breath everyone... the kid is a great young talent and also a great young man, but if we use adjectives like epic this early we may run short on superlatives very quickly. A couple of the guys went after the character angle later on Golf Chanel:
“As good as he is on the golf course,” Golf Channel’s Brandel Chamblee said, “it seemslike everything he says in the media center strikes the right note. That was evident in his acceptance speech.”
Chamblee then asked Colin Montgomerie that in terms of appeal whether he reminds him of anyone.
“Seve,” Montgomerie replied. “The people’s champion. People loved Seve. This guy [Spieth] has a very, very young Arnold Palmer-esque feel about him. Seve and Palmer are loved. A lot of other golfers are respected.”
Monty's onto something there, though the comparison is a bit of a leap... guys like Palmer and Seve are loved because they're complete originals... comfortable with who they are. He's fiery like Seve, but it seems to come from a different well.
But there were great moments out there where he showed his character, and Mike Bamberger saw one here:
Michael Bamberger, senior writer, Sports Illustrated: When he patted his caddie on the shoulder after the double-bogey on 17 on Saturday. There is a humanity about this young man that leaves me hopeful for the future of mankind. Golf, too.
My moment was after Justin Rose's remarkable recovery shot on No. 7, after which Jordan gave him a big thumbs up, very reminiscent of Angel Cabrera in the playoff against Adam Scott in 2013.
Lastly, before we move on, let me leave you with the most significant pet peeve from the Simpson household, one that may expose a deep-rooted character flaw in the man. Jordan, you need to man up and stop arranging your hair.... Your hair line is in recession and when that's in evidence at age 21 we can predict the future... Keep what remains short enough that it won't get you in trouble, or make Under Armour happy by never taking your cap off in public, but the scenes of you sculpting your hair are not flattering.... Just sayin'.
The Tiger Beat - To state the obvious, it was a very good week for Tiger, given the great uncertainty as to whether he even belonged in the field. I still won't pretend to understand his point about matching release points through the bag, but he does seem to have solved the short game issues. But has anyone else noticed that he seems incapable of getting through 72 holes without drama?
Woods screamed in pain and let the club fly out of his hand. He shook his hand walking toward the green but managed to salvage par on the way to a closing 1-over 73.
Afterward, when asked about the injury on CBS, Woods said "the bone popped out." That amateur diagnosis led to plenty of derisive responses on Twitter.
Really? It can't just hurt like hell for a bit, there has to be an unlikely explanation....glutes don'r fire, teeth get knocked out by cameras....you know the litany. Here's how some of the Tour Confidentilistas summed up his week:
SENS: The sharpness of his short game seemed to surprise everyone but Tiger, and he sure sounded optimistic about where he’s headed. Then again, his self-assessments are always rose-tinted. The game Tiger showed this week could put him into contention on certain courses, but he wouldn’t want to bring Sunday’s tee-to-green play to a U.S. Open. You get the impression that Tiger’s game has become something like a round of Whack-a-Mole. Knock down one problem, and another one pops up.
Well, that's kinda golf, isn't it?
MORFIT: His transformation from Torrey Pines to Augusta was stunning, but it's so hard for me to get excited about another Tiger comeback even if I want it to happen. Every time we go down this road something happens to his knee or his back or his misfiring gluteus maximus or, on Sunday, his arm when he hit a tree root. When was the last time we saw him play four rounds without an injury? This guy has to be the most injury-prone character since Wiley E. Coyote.
Well, he just needs more reps so he can get his feels back.... though when asked when he'll play next, his answer was not for a while. He's got a bit of a problem in that he won't qualify for the Match Play, which is at the end of April. So we probably won't see him until The Players. His schedule has become Hoganesque...if only his game could follow suit.
Shack had a funny bit on Tiger's presser comments:
TIGER WOODS: Yeah, as said back then I was caught between two different release patterns. They're completely polar opposites. So I needed to do a lot of work and engrain the pattern. The Myelin pattern, where it takes 10,000 reps but it's actually 10,000 good reps. You might hit 50,000 to get 10,000.
Myelin patterns? Where does this stuff come from? Shack does the job that American's won't do, and Googles it:
A pattern of alternating light and dark columns was observed in wet, unstained sections of macaque striate cortex after monocular enucleation. The columns were clearest in layer IV, but could be detected through the full thickness of the cortex. Subsequent processing for cytochrome oxidase (CO) showed that the light columns in wet sections viewed under darkfield illumination matched the ocular dominance columns serving the enucleated eye. These columns labeled preferentially with an antibody to myelin basic protein, suggesting that greater myelin content accounted for their brighter appearance.
I went another direction completely, and did a Google image search.... turns out that this is the normal Myelin pattern of the brain:
You don't need to thank me, I'm just glad we could clear things up...
Other Notes: Martin Kaufmann shares this revelation with us about the broadcast:
But this past week, while watching the Masters, I had a revelation – what some might refer to as an ah-ha moment. It occurred to me that while CBS airs the Masters, it’s really Augusta National’s show. Augusta National keeps CBS on a short leash; the network’s announcers’ relentlessly gushy commentary was indicative of people who spent their week sitting on pins and needles. And given those parameters set by the club, I found it difficult this year to take issue with much of CBS’ work. On the whole, it was one of CBS’ better efforts.
Martin, what hole have you been living in the last 80 years? Have you ever heard of Gary McCord and asked where he is Masters week? Do you remember Martha Burke and did you notice that for a few years they broadcast the Masters without commercials?
Ashley Mayo revives a cute feature on things overheard at the Masters, including these:
Guy, as he takes a swig of his $4 beer and stares at the 13th green: “This place is dope. Just...rad.”Guy, to friend: “You’re wearing cycling socks with beach sandals at a golf tournament. Why did I even bring you?”
Can we at least agree that a guy in cycling socks and sandals does not deserve to be called a patron?
And this:
“Those pimento cheese things are sketchy.”
I'm pretty sure that whoever uttered those words is now an ex-patron.
And thanks to Maggot for this wonderful piece on Ron Green on covering his final Masters, though I will note for you all that Maggot allowed his bride to schedule theater for Masters Sunday afternoon. I know, it's hard to imagine, but would you believe that your humble correspondent scheduled his wedding to Employee No. 2 on a Ryder Cup Sunday? Stuff happens...
Ron covered the Masters for sixty years, and has wonderful memories, including these nuggets:
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| The author is kneeling in black. |
Hogan, Byron Nelson, Sam Snead, those were the stars of my early years there. Nelson was staying in the same hotel I was. One Sunday, when my roommate was running late, I bummed a ride to the course with Nelson and his wife. Pretty good way to arrive. Byron Nelson as chauffeur.
It was a different world then, no doubt...
An annual treat was sitting in the locker room on Sunday morning, when the contenders came in to get ready for the showdown. You automatically noticed what they were wearing. Would that go well with a green jacket?
Funny, that was my first thought yesterday when I saw Jordan on the range in navy blue...and see if you like this as much as I did:
Augusta National Golf Club is a lovely place but a day of hiking its hills will send you away aching for a tub and a martini. Over the years, I walked my 1,000 miles or whatever it was but I also hung out under a huge old tree on the clubhouse lawn. You could hear yesterday from there. Gene Sarazen was out there, along with a few more monuments who had known glory and now passed the days as living decorations.
You could hear yesterday from there...how good is that image?
But I watched it on dvr delay with no knowledge-- just as good-- maybe even better with fast forward.
ReplyDeleteAnd my wedding was on Master's Sunday as well.