Masters After-Action Report

Did you miss me?  Oh, you didn't even notice that I took a couple of days off?  That's hurtful...

In any event, I needed a little breather after the flood-the-zone Masters coverage, but most notably I had some pressing business... most notable was that it is now official, we are going to Askernish.  The airline itinerary taxed the best and brightest, but we closed on those arrangements an hour ago, and while the whole remainder of the trip is a blank slate, we're all in.

Never heard of Askernish?  Stay tuned to this station for for more details as we get nearer to our departure.... Best part is that our friends Elsie and John (Elsie, of course, is the famed Scottish housewife) have signed on to share this adventure with us.  They'll of course live to regret it, but it will be so wonderful to have good friends with us as we journey to the ends of the Earth.

The other item that kept me from our appointed rounds was my first round of the year in the company of Employee No. 2 yesterday afternoon.  So, please don't be bitter, and let's catch up with the reaction to our young Master.

Heir Jordan (But Not Hair Jordan) - To get things rolling, it appears that, to quote Sally Field, people really like him... Shack was a roundup of day after pieces about Spieth here.  I'll go with one quick example, say Jaime Diaz from Golf World:

Spieth is above all precocious, which usually goes hand in hand with fast learning. The son of two former college athletes, he’s been the sports obsessed kid who is expert at figuring out the effective ways to play games, and then doing whatever it takes. Never the fastest or strongest, but nearly always the most dogged and smartest.

To save us all some time, let's just stipulate that he's a great kid...

Now, to get us all in the right mood, you know how the kids these days like to do their super-cut thing?  Enjoy this version of Jordan's conversations with his golf ball:

Reminds me of mine own self there....

Jordan has been everywhere the last few days, taking selfies on the Empire State Building and stopping by the Bloomberg Offices to give the namesake a putting lesson:

When Spieth stopped by Bloomberg’s headquarters on Lexington Avenue for an interview, the guy whose name is on the building wanted to say hello. Spieth told him that at the Masters putting is “all about speed ... which we seem to be having some trouble with this morning,” as Mike Bloomberg left his first few rolls on a putting mat short. 

Everyone else in the office came to a standstill -- especially the women, young and old, who lined the set taking pictures with their iPhones, gazing and smiling at the blonde-haired, blue-eyed kid who if he had stayed all four years at the University of Texas would be in his senior year. It was the kind of showstopper moment usually reserved for celebrities like George Clooney, one insider said.

There is no earthly reason not to enjoy such a moment, though he is surprisingly fulfilling his commitment to tee it up at Hilton Head this weekend.  We like young men that fulfill commitments, though it's hard to imagine he'll be on his game after this whirlwind.  But Shack raises a flag over Spieth's quite ridiculous potential schedule:

Valero Texas Open - 2nd
Shell Houston Open - 2nd
Masters - Win
RBC Heritage - Still committed
Zurich Classic - Likely Pass
WGC Match Play - Jordan, it’s Mr. Finchem calling again.
The Players - Jordan, Mr. Finchem will get you on Pablo Creek if you'd like
Wells Fargo - Likely Pass
Crowne Plaza Colonial - Sleeping in his own bed…needs to pass
Byron Nelson - Definitely sleeping in his own bed...definitely playing.
Memorial - He won’t say no to the Golden Bear
FedEx St. Jude - Pass
US Open - Play

The conundrum is largely in the two hometown events, but anything remotely resembling this is way too much golf, even for a 21-year old.  Of course I was concerned that he had played too much coming into The Masters, so consider the source.

I think everyone was happy to see Sports Illustrated give golf a modicum of respect by putting it on this week's cover:

Though I hadn't realized that it was officially the Spieth Era.  Has anyone told Lebron?

And while I was critical of his hair-manipulation, he showed a sense of humor about it with this quote:

"There's a reason I have a hairline like this . . . It's stressful what we do."

For those of you unfamiliar with the regulatory structure surround the green jacket, club members are not allowed to remove their green jackets from the club property with one exception.  That exception is the current champion, who can take his jacket wherever he wants until the following years Masters.  I love this picture, because who would otherwise have known that the ebst part of that tradition would be the garment bag:

I'm trusting that he didn't have to jam it into the overhead...

The Back-Up Singers - Michael Bamberger considers the week a raging success for Eldrick, as per this:

On Friday he turned a possible 73 or 74 into a 69 with superior chipping, including two beauties in Amen Corner. It was something like vintage Tiger. Then there was his Saturday round, an all-systems-go 68 that was pretty much vintage Woods. It was exciting. If you don’t find watching Tiger Woods play golf at a high level absolutely enthralling, you might need a new hobby.

And this continues the Era of Good Feelings:

On Saturday he signed a flag for a kid in a Puma hat and said, “I’ll probably be an honorary starter here when you’re playing in the tournament.” Charming!

Am I the only one that has trouble picturing our Tiger as an honorary starter?  Imagine him out there in 2047 with Phil as honorary starters, and his glutes fail to activate.  As he's carted to his courtesy car you can hear him mumbling, "I just need a few more reps so I can find where the club is bottoming out."

Brian Costa has this take on Tiger from the Wall Street Journal:

Ten years ago, it was so much easier to assess how Tiger Woods played at a major. He

either won or he didn't. There was no room for nuance, no other way of looking at it. If Woods played a major and didn't win, it was a considerable disappointment for him and a mild surprise to everyone else. 

Now, Woods has become golf’s version of interpretive art. How did he fare at the Masters? The answer can be viewed in different ways.

 I like the interpretive art reference, though I doubt there's anyone that doesn't view his Masters as a meaningful step in the right direction.  Cameron Morfitt takes a glass-half-empty look at Tiger's potential path forward:

The bad news is he is still ineligible to play in the WGC-Cadillac Match Play in two weeks, so even if he wanted to revisit TPC Harding Park, where he beat John Daly at the 2005 American Express Championship — Daly missed a three-foot putt on the second extra hole — he couldn't. 

The next tournament Woods will be expected to play is the Players Championship, May 7-10. Will he tee it up there? That depends on his definition of “a while.” 

Just for fun, let’s say he will. Could Woods finish 17th or even higher at the Stadium Course at TPC Sawgrass? The short answer: No, he couldn’t, at least not if his tee-to-green game looks anything like it did Sunday.

Why so negative, Cam?  It's true that he drove it very poorly on Sunday, but that club has pretty much been his nemesis since, oh, 1996.  It's a little weird that after a successful return to the game we won't see him for a month, but that's mostly a function of the one-off timing of the Match Play this year.  

As for fellow Pip (or should it be Jordonaire?) Phil, Oliver Brown had this take in The Telegraph:

It is testament to Mickelson’s enduring greatness that at 44, he manages to reserve his best for the grandest arenas. He scarcely made a single misstep all round, electrifying the crowd with a familiar slice of inspiration when he holed out at the 15th on Sunday night, and yet still he wound up being beaten by four. In the circumstances, he could only offer a rueful smile.

Is now a good time to remind Ollie that at age 43 he missed the cut?  That's a common occurence as golfers age and the Tour Confidentialistas took it on here:

BAMBERGER: What I think Phil showed at Augusta is that he'll play Augusta well for years to come and maybe even grab a late coat, a la Nicklaus. Chambers Bay is a whole different matter.

GODICH: No place gets Phil's blood pumping like Augusta National, and it's no secret that his game is geared toward the major championships. But none of us can begin to predict how he will fare at Chambers Bay. That's what makes him so intriguing. Phil being Phil.

Don't strain yourself on this one, because Chambers Bay is so little known.  But notwithstanding Muirfield 2013, if the wind is up at all I don't like his chances one bit.