Monday, February 19, 2024

Weekend Wrap - Chaos Theory Edition

How'd Tiger's return go?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Face Plant™ Follies - Before we get too excited about Hideki's pyrotechnics, an important reminder..... The whole business model is about excluding such players from the big-money events.  You might think of Hideki as an elite player, but he's played quite poorly since that 2021 Masters and, as the 55th ranked player in the world, would barely qualify into these events (I tried to Google exactly how he did qualify, but have come up empty).  But in each of these Signature Events money grabs there are 60-70 Hidekis excluded, just to prevent what happened yesterday.  Hideki was on fire (and Jay is quite relieved that it's a guy that's actually known), but think about how moribund yesterday's play was except for the guy in yellow.

This inspired the sub-header above:

How an epic 30 minutes (and a little chaos) decided the Genesis Invitational

Sounds promising, but he starts at a strange juncture:

For the first nine holes of Sunday’s final stanza, Luke List and Will Zalatoris made their presence known. Playing in the penultimate pairing, the duo of flushers put on a ball-striking exhibition,
combining for five birdies and an eagle. Heading to the back nine, List held the solo lead, while Zalatoris lagged two behind. In the final pairing — playing at a glacial pace nearly a hole and a half behind — Cantlay and Schauffele struggled, failing to card a single birdie over the first nine holes.

Then, all at once, the roars flooded the grounds.

Schauffele shook his birdie-free stretch by holing a 12-footer at the 10th, and then followed up with a hole-out from the bunker at the next for eagle. When the ball dropped into the cup, the cheers could be heard from the clubhouse on the opposite side of the Santa Monica Canyon. After a round and a half of pent-up energy, the fans finally unleashed.

List and Willy Z. both had those moments where they suddenly realized they could win, and the proceeded to throw up all over their shoes.  No, it's the Xander bit that has me laughing, because that last group, wedding phots notwithstanding, as for me the synecdoche of these Signature Events.  The whole purpose (well, besides the all-important getting Patrick paid) of these contrived exhibitions is to create those kind of compelling match-ups, but did anyone find it compelling? 

If you didn't see Hideki's finish, well you can click through and read all about it.  Perhaps the most amazing fact is that the three birdies in a row from Nos. 15-17 was his third such streak of the round.  Avoiding even a single bogey, that's how you shoot 62 on Sunday (ironically, in Jack's yellow vs. that other guy's Sun Day Red).

The Tour Confidential panel, as is typical, is focused like a laser on the most important aspects of the week.  Or not:

1. Tiger Woods, making his first PGA Tour start since the Masters last April, withdrew after hitting his tee shot on the 7th hole during the second round of the Genesis Invitational, disclosing later that he had the flu. The 15-time major winner’s exit threw a jolt into Riviera Country Club, with two fire trucks and an ambulance arriving and exiting before Woods left the property in a car. Notably, a day earlier, Woods had hit a shank, and he blamed the mishit on a back spasm. What’s your read on how his week concluded?

Yes, fire trucks....amusing only when we recall that his still unexplained auto accident took place here as well.  He must be on a first-name basis with all the LA-area first responders...

Jessica Marksbury: This was a weird one. Flu symptoms don’t usually necessitate the arrival of
two fire trucks and an ambulance, right? We often get only the bare minimum from Tiger when it comes to details on his health. That’s obviously his right, but it seems like there must have been more to this. At the end of the day, he says he’s recovering, so that’s the best we can ask for, I guess. A definite bummer to not have him around for the weekend.


Jess, they're all weirds one with Tiger these days, in case you haven't noticed. 

Ryan Barath: For the limited amount we did see on Thursday, Woods looked pretty good except for the shank on 18, but at this point in his professional career, and based on his health issues, I think every day is a complete roll of the dice. Considering he had an extremely busy schedule this week with hosting the event and launching Sun Day Red (which I know we’ll get to in a moment), things can add up and take a toll. We all know the only thing he’s probably concerned about at the moment is the Masters, so taking the WD here and going home is probably the best way to recover.

Recover, maybe?   But I though he was trying to, yanno, prepare for it...

Nick Dimengo: It was a big week for Tiger and his team, given the release of his Sun Day Red line and his hosting of the Genesis. Given the schedule, golf sort of became a secondary focus, in my opinion. Sure, it was probably a PR nightmare that he had to withdraw with the illness, but what did anyone really expect from him on the course anyway? I don’t think he would’ve been competing to win the tournament, so he accomplished his main agenda — which was the new line and some publicity.

I've been reliably informed that all publicity is good, though that doesn't exactly square with my own observations....

Did any of these guys ever take a statistics course?  Because, yanno, there's a sample size issue:

2. On to Woods’ game. Before the WD, he played his first round on Thursday and completed six holes on Friday. Thursday’s round featured five birdies, six bogeys — and the shank on the 18th hole. In the limited action, were you left feeling encouraged by Woods’ play, or discouraged?

Barath: Being able to make that many birdies is very encouraging because it means he was hitting quality approach shots and putting himself in good spots off the tee. Bogeys come down to saving shots, and the short game was a bit rusty, which I believe is just as simple as getting in competitive reps, as Tiger likes to say.

Marksbury: The game seems OK to me. The real question seems to be his stamina for four long rounds of PGA Tour competition. I hope his ambitious comeback schedule ends up working in his favor as the season progresses.

Dimengo: When it comes to Woods the golfer, I think it’s officially time to adjust our expectations. Not only is he now 48, but, as Marksbury mentioned, I worry about Tiger’s stamina over the course of a tournament. Going two or four days is one thing, but what about all the practice and time on the range (not to mention his own recovery)? We all root for Woods to perform well and, maybe, rediscover some magic. But I have yet to truly see any indication he still has gas left in the tank.

Since the accident we've seen this each time he's graced us with his presence.  He quite obviously can still hi golf shots, but he can't compete.  After the latest fusion surgery there was/is a belief that he is more up to the grind of 72 holes, though he doesn't actually seem to want to test that theory...

I've never been a Tiger sycophant, but I find the current version insufferable, mostly because of his failure to use his own status to protect playing opportunities on Tour.  What I find most objectionable is that he allows this event to be limited to 70 players (removing up to 86 slots, though the field here was never that large), he then grabs a spot for himself.  Oh, and did I mention that he gave his a****e buddy Adam Scott, a guy whose vote he needs, a sponsor's exemption?  Then paired himself with another a*****e buddy (JT) in the first round?  This guy is so busy taking care of his own needs and comforts, how can we possibly bother him with the little business of saving our game?

Can someone do me a solid and check FanDuel to see what the over-under is for Adam Scott sponsor exemptions into Signature Events is?  I'm guessing, all of them....

Fortunately, the Tour Confidential gang only addresses the most pressing (just a little punning for ya) issue sin our game:

3. On to Woods’ new threads. On Monday, he fully revealed his new Sun Day Red brand, and when he played Thursday, it marked the first time he had not played under the Nike umbrella in 27 years. Sun Day Red — created in partnership with TaylorMade, which has backed Woods since 2017 — will include a host of articles of clothing, and it will launch to the public on May 1. From what you’ve seen, what’s your takeaway from the new brand?

Barath: Tiger resonates with golfers, and even if you aren’t a golfer, there is a very good chance you know who Tiger Woods is — so from a branding and marketing perspective, Sun Day Red could be a big win for both Tiger and TaylorMade. Does the world of golf need another company selling $100 polos and $200 cashmere hoodies? I honestly have no idea, but what I do know is that it had people talking — and likely ready to line up for a few pieces once it becomes available.

Marksbury: Tiger has always had a classic sense of style and has always looked great on the course. Sun Day Red seems to be following in that vein. I liked the monochrome look on Thursday, and the Friday throwback was super cool. I don’t expect to see anything too showy or out there in terms of trends, but no matter what the line produces, I’m pretty sure anything associated with him will be a success. I REALLY wish Sun Day was one word, though!

Relax, Jess, Sunday is and always has been one word...  

Dimengo: Like Jess said, I wouldn’t expect too much flash or anything eccentric from Woods’ new line. It’ll be classic threads that golfers will probably flock to given Woods’ stamp of approval. Then again, golf fashion has changed a lot in the past five years alone, so there’s stiffer competition in terms of market share and fun, unique designs.

The blind faith is endearing, at least until you remember that they're supposed to be journalists.  Of course, I'm old enough to remember all those folks playing Nike clubs and balls because of Tiger.... Yeah, both of them.

Another beclowning moment:

4. In another wild scene, Jordan Spieth was disqualified after the Genesis’ second round after signing for an incorrect score. (On Riviera’s 4th hole, he had made a four, but he signed for a three.) Of course, this has happened before, but the exit of one of the Tour’s stars from one of its biggest events was a stunner. Our question is: With the technology available, should the rules be adjusted for the pros?

How about if we adjust the pros to the rules? An idea so crazy it just might work...

Barath: This needs to end now! With so much gambling involved in the sport, the PGA Tour can’t have a mistake made by a pencil lead a player being DQ’d from an event. This isn’t some rec-league pickup game where players have to call out fouls; this is the highest level of professional golf, and because of that, the league should be fully responsible for keeping track of scores, plain and simple.

Marksbury: At the end of the day, keeping a scorecard is part of the game. It should be a no-brainer, but I understand mistakes happen. A DQ does seem overly severe. I’d be in favor of something like a two-shot penalty instead.

Dimengo: Spieth DQ’ing does no good for anyone (sponsors, fans, the overall event). So, yes, make some new rules and just penalize a player for a mistake rather than booting them from the tourney. Other sports have gotten with the times and incorporated technology for the good of the game; it’s golf’s turn to do the same.

It's easy to be outraged and it's certainly not a good look, but I'd be a little more circumspect in eliminating the obligation of the player to accurately attest to his or her score.  

I heard an explanation from the rules official on the broadcast that I didn't quite understand, along these lines:

Spieth was inside the top 10 at Riviera before he double-bogeyed his last hole in the second round. Feeling under the weather all day, he bolted up the stairs and into the clubhouse. When verifying his scores, Spieth confirmed that he had signed for a par-3 on the fourth hole but had actually made bogey. By the time the scoring discrepancy was identified, however, Spieth had left the scoring area, automatically triggering the disqualification.

I don't like this any more than anyone else, but I'm quite reluctant to remove the responsibility from the player, because it's my understanding that Patrick Reed is still playing professional golf.   Need I say more?   To be clear, I didn't suggest that he's playing it well, but we can never be too careful.

Seriously, the burden has been on the player to deciare and attest his own score since at least Prestwick in 1860..... I just like that tradition.

You'll be shocked to know that I'm going to have some things to say about this one:

5. The Genesis itself was potentially a peek into the PGA Tour’s future, as our James Colgan detailed in a piece that you can read here. The tournament was the Tour’s third “Signature Event” this year. Wrote Colgan: “In some ways, the PGA Tour’s Signature Events series was built exactly for Hollywood’s pro golf tournament, the Genesis Invitational. There’s a huge, high-profile sponsor (Genesis); a living legend tournament host (Tiger Woods); a historically exclusive and highly-regarded golf course (Riviera Country Club) and one of the best fields in all of professional golf. If the Tour’s new format for Signature Events — starry fields, limited (or no) cuts, lots of money — can’t work here, it’s hard to imagine where it can.” So, did the tournament deliver? Is the Signature series working?

Barath: Have Signature Events put more of the top players together more often? 100%. Have they put more money into the pockets of top players? 100% Have they delivered the kinds of historic finishes that people will be talking about for decades? Not quite, but that’s what happens in golf when you have a field of players that are all very talented and have the ability to win. Now with all that said, Hideki delivered on Sunday with a 62 so that was great to watch.

Marksbury: Well said, Ryan. The advent of LIV has desensitized me somewhat to outsize purses, but I do like the Signature Events. It’s nice to have a cluster of tournaments outside of the major championships where you’re guaranteed to watch a star-studded field, even if the biggest names happen to underperform in a given week.

Dimengo: These two nailed it with their replies, so I don’t have much to really add. As a golf fan, I always want to see the best players competing on the biggest stages (with a surprise every now and again). If that requires a Signature Event and a bigger purse, so be it.

 They've received their talking points and are dutifully repeating the BIG LIE.

The BIG LIE is that, prior to Tiger and Rory saving our game, we didn't know when the best would tee it up.  So, a little thought experiment: name one player who would have skipped Riviera under the old system?  Anyone?  Bueller?

Anyone remember when they told us it was about the tainted source of the money.... Ha, that was a good one, but now we know the only issue was the recipients of the tainted money, the source being rendered irrelevant.  

Now, they're telling us we need to know when the only guys that matter will play.  But we already knew they would play LA, Muirfield, Bay Hill and the like.  Signature Events aren't about who's there, they're about who isn't there....anyone that can ruin their party.  They think they'll create these dream duels and they most certainly did that with yesterday's final pairing.....  How'd that work out?  

But that is Tiger's and Rory's and Patrick's vision for our game.  But the excitement came from elsewhere, which is the inherent nature of our game.....  And cannot be allowed to happen.

I'm done ranting, but also see the clock's inexorable progress.  Just a few bits before I depart, first Jordan being helpful:

Lesson learned?

This from my favorite Tour wife points out something I've noticed on leaderboards:

OK, didn't know we all had rap names, but can we also do our porn names?

So, Cam is a problem for folks because there's another Young or two on Tour.  What I've noticed is that the TV leaderboards where they use only last name, Cam's presence leads them to use his full first name, necessitating a substantially smaller font size for just the one player.  You'd expect them to just give him his first initial, but that's where a rabbit named Carson Young becomes problematic.

Of course, I can't leave without noting that that smaller font is always in the middle of said leaderboard, not on the top line...

One last bit that amused your humble blogger:

Heh, that's a good one, and everybody reading this is in on the joke.

There was a strange scene yesterday that someone should research.  The penultimate group was in the seventh fairway (I'm working from memory), while the final group was still on the fifth green.  The rules official on the broadcast maintained that the List-Will Z. group was four minutes ahead of their time par, while the deliberate Patrick was exactly on his time par.  Perhaps they were on schedule, but there's exactly no chance that four minutes covers one-and-a-half holes, even with the full hole being a one-shotter.  Something was wrong in that analysis, and I initially planned to see their relative positions at the finish.  Fortunately, however, Patrick took me off the hook from any interest in his finish....  Thanks for that.

That's it for now, kids.  I have a weird week ahead, so bear with me as I blog when opportunities present.  Have a great week.

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Thursday, February 15, 2024

Thursday Themes - Return Of The Tiger Edition

The good news for Jay and his minions is that the return of the prodigal son will distract from last week's drunken orgy....  But it's about time those Signature Events start delivering Signature Moments, no?

Tiger, Version 4.0 - I haven't indulged in too much Tiger speculation in recent iterations, as there simply hasn't been a reason to think he could walk the golf course for four days, much less get his Bridgestone into the hole.  After his most recent surgery, and those like Super Bowls should be denoted with Roman Numerals, there is certainly more anticipation.  Said anticipation was created by Himself, specifically suggesting that he might peg it once a month.  Amusingly, given the current compressed golf calendar, the sum total of that is that he might, perhaps, show up at Sawgrass in March....  Really, guys, that's all, unless you think he's going back to Royal Montreal.

So, what should we expect?  Might as well start with Sunday's Tour Confidential panel:

Tiger Woods will make his first PGA Tour start since the 2023 Masters when he plays the role of tournament host/participant at the Genesis Invitational, which begins Thursday at Riviera Country Club in LA. What are you expecting to see from Tiger? And can he finish in the top 20?

Sens: Tiger being Tiger, I expect plenty of brilliant shots and maybe a couple of stellar rounds. The question is whether his leg/body can hold up on all cylinders for four rounds.  That seems unlikely. If I were a betting man, and unfortunately, I am, I would wager heavily that he finishes outside the top 20.

Colgan: I’m expecting to see a guy who’s capable of both making the cut and walking 72 holes. I think we’ll leave feeling pretty good about the state of his game, and I think top-20 is actually a realistic expectation. Four problem-free rounds on his feet, though, and we could be having a separate conversation headed into Masters week.

Zak: Tiger Woods’ best chances to win golf tournaments, both this week and forever moving forward, will be on firm, tough golf courses. Tracks where a ball-striker who can hit it both ways and make a bunch of 12-foot putts. Riviera is one of those! So I’d expect him to be rusty, but good enough to shoot under par twice, make the cut and finish T27.

Hard question to write, because the arithmetic result isn't at all what we (well, maybe you, since I'm not his biggest fan) care about.   Rather it's a binary question of whether his performance this week makes us believe he can be a factor in Georgia in April.  Everything else is just white noise...

But, as you're well aware, the business of America is business, so Tiger is there to hawk his new line of togs, featuring....well, you can handle that without my help:

The worst-kept secret in golf was officially unveiled – Tiger Woods and TaylorMade have partnered to launch a new premium active-lifestyle apparel and footwear brand.

“We’re going to sunrise a brand,” said TaylorMade CEO David Abeles at a launch party on Monday evening, announcing an extended partnership with Tiger to launch Sun Day Red as a standalone business.

Tiger ended his 27-year relationship with Nike at the end of 2023. On Thursday, he is scheduled to tee it up at the Genesis Invitational wearing Sun Day Red.

“It’s the right time in my life,” Tiger said. “It’s transitional. I’m not a kid anymore. I want to have a brand I’m proud of going forward.”

Please excuse any typos in the next few bits, as it's so terribly difficult to type while chuckling....  Also difficult when not chuckling, as I'm reminded on those rare occasions when I revisit an old post.

The easy bit to poke fun at is that about Tiger "ending" his relationship with Nike.  Of course he got dumped by the Swoosh, but I'm surprised he didn't go for the Seinfeldian mutual break-up cover.

The other amusement is that every grammatical resource available on these interwebs insists that "sunrise" is a noun, but that's not binding on the Big Cat, apparently.  But the jokes write themselves, as Abeles' insistence on "Sunrising" his brand will immediately evoke a certain song from Fiddler on the Roof, which is a good proxy for the expected half-life of this new lifestyle brand.

First, the name... Does it strike you as...well, forced?  You'll love this:

In almost none of the murmurs, grumblings, rumblings or tweets was there any cause for pause or
mention of a space between “Sun” and “day.” Of all the potential deviations from the script—Greyson Clothiers swooping in for a last-second coup, Woods not being healthy enough to go at Riviera this week—breaking Sunday up into two words was not something anyone saw coming.

If the odd alteration has your copywriter alarm bells ringing like a case of tinnitus after a Slayer concert, however, don’t worry. There’s rhyme to this randomness. At least according to TaylorMade CEO David Abeles, who explained the decision to the New York Times.

“Sunday red is the color that Mr. Woods has made very famous on Sundays,” Abeles said. “But Mr. Woods plays golf on more than just Sundays.”

It's true that he's played a little on Thursdays and Fridays, but in recent years he's mostly used Saturday afternoons to announce his WDs.... Just sayin'!

As for the goods, well he seems to have stolen that logo from my favorite ski gear company:


So a mandatory deduction for lack of originality....

How was it received?  Yeah, shockingly, folks can be harsh:

Hmmm.... whatya think he was going for there?

This guy can rip off Arc'teryx as well:

And I'm not the only one seeing an intellectual property case:

Still laughing...

When the story of the Nike split broke, I characterized this "opportunity" as fraught with peril for Tiger, for a couple of reasons.  The first is that, while his reputation is obviously built on his success on the golf course, the cleaner look of just the solitary swoosh I thought enhanced his position as different from the rest of the carnival hawkers....  In fact, I think this was confirmed when Rory went to Nike, when he said he didn't like his prior look of logos everywhere.  On preliminary evidence he seems to be avoiding that Nascar look, but you can see how folks are reacting to the logo.

My second risk-factor can be found in this tweet:

Will it?

As regular readers know, I'm a bit of a Tiger-skeptic on many fronts, including the extent to which Tiger "moved the needle."  I don't want to relitigate this point, but I'm pretty sure the pandemic cleaned Tiger's clock on the metric of actually creating new golfers, though he did get more eyeballs in front of TV's.  But set aside the historical argument.....

The real threshold question is to what extent does he still move the needle?  And is that enough to overcome the fact that the lifestyle line won't exactly offer anything new under the sun.  No doubt Tiger helped sell a bunch of shirts and shoes, though I think we tend not to give Nike its due there (also remember that, while moving some soft good, nobody bought Nike golf equipment and balls because of Tiger).

Athletic careers are over in the blink of an eye, though our game features the longest thereof.  My Spidey sense is tingling, telling me that this historic opportunity will remind us mostly of how short those windows really are.

Phoenix Sinking - People are for sure fickle, as any comparison of this year's depravity at the Wasted with prior installments will quickly demonstrate.  It's somehow OK to have beer cans thrown at you after an ace, but not in the absence of an ace.... I know, we really need them to write these rules down.

The good news in all this has been that no other Tour event has embraced this wanton frat boy experience.... Excepting, of course, for LIV, and their events suck so bad we need not fear their ruination.  This, of course, seems the triumph of hope over experience:

Let the Phoenix Open learn from its wicked hangover

It's a theory....

He is usually impervious to the chaos that surrounds him, but every man has his breaking point and Jordan Spieth reached his Sunday morning, his approach barely airborne at the 18th at TPC
Scottsdale as he tossed his iron into the sky and extended his right hand at the gallery, pointing in the vicinity where a scream emitted during his backswing. No matter that Spieth’s shot finished 15 feet from the pin; he could no longer abide the circus, shaking his head and mouthing “What the f***,” a question he and many in the sport want answered.

Because Spieth was not alone in his displeasure at last week's WM Phoenix Open. Cameras caught Billy Horschel and Zach Johnson confronting spectators. Ben An called it a “s***show” on social media. There was also a viral video of fans fighting, an individual fell from the stands and Saturday’s atmosphere was so out of control that the gates were eventually closed and alcohol sales were cut off. Golf’s biggest party went too hard and is now battling the type of hangover that asks if an intervention is needed.

Isn't that what they go there for?

This is a reasonable-sounding premise, but nothing happens in a vacuum:

But that never-again refrain after hangovers—spoiler alert—is almost always broken, and that sentiment applies here. No, we’re not advocating for kegs on every tee box or fight clubs underneath the stands. (Although, let’s be honest, there would be an audience for that.) Clearly this weekend crossed a line from a crowd-control standpoint, and what happened at the gates cannot happen again. It’s also a relatively easy fix: Fewer allotted tickets, more staffing at the entrances. Curbing alcohol sales may be a bit tougher, yet alcoholic beverages are present at almost every major sporting event in this country. Why it’s a recurring factor at TPC Scottsdale—whereas it rarely impacts the on-the-field proceedings at other competitions—is the biggest project the tournament needs to solve from now until next year.

Context, kiddies.  Easy to tell them to sell fewer tickets and/or to cut off beer sales, but this happens at a time when the PGA Tour has declared war upon them (them, I guess, being Waste Management and the Thunderbirds).  They are required to continue to pony up $13-15 million large, notwithstanding that the Tour has positioned them between two favored events ( on Super Bowl weekend, no less).  

The other problem is that players not eligible for the money grabs have mostly lost the ability to take a pass on Phoenix.....  I give the sponsor and the Thunderbirds much credit for making this event for on a problematic weekend.  That said, it becomes quite the awkward mess when the Tour changes the deal to favor other events and the guys lose a gaggle of high-money playing opportunities.

Eamon Lynch weighs in with the effects of the Wasted on the Genesis, making my point from above, though far less eloquently (I kid):

The standard defense offered by WMPO loyalists — if you don’t like it, stay home — is no longer fit for purpose. Only the stars can vote with their feet and walk. For everyone else, starts in Tour events are tougher to come by than ever, so staying home is a luxury they can’t afford. And if the Phoenix Open sees the quality of its field decline because of boorish fan behavior, that’s a problem. If women working on-site feel unsafe because of groups of leering drunks, that’s a problem. If spectators are emboldened to go inside the ropes, that’s a problem. When fans gleefully initiate and record conflict with competitors, that’s a problem.

Good news, Eamon, I've been reliably informed that those guys don't matter....  Of course, m source was Cantlay.   It's Eamon, so we'll just give him time to amuse us:

It’s difficult to find more disparate experiences in consecutive weeks on the PGA Tour calendar
than the WM Phoenix Open and the Genesis Invitational.

One is held at a modern course designed with spectator flow in mind, the other isn’t. One is at the center of every sporting conversation in its host city that week, the other isn’t. One is viewed by some Tour players with an aversion usually reserved for gas station sushi, the other isn’t. One attracts and engages fans at a level that’s the envy of most tournaments on the schedule, the other doesn’t. One stretchers out more inebriated, vomit-flecked fans than LIV draws in, the other doesn’t.

On the grounds at Riviera Country Club, much of the chatter remains focused on events at TPC Scottsdale, where the viral social media videos included Tour pros in terse exchanges with spectators, a pair of Two-Can Van Dammes brawling, shirtless belly slides in the mud, and a barely-conscious chap perched on a stool, blissfully unaware that he was also urinating.

It’s golf, but plastered.

And this adjunct to the apocryphal, "I love the Phoenix Open, I go every night" :

The WM Phoenix Open is a known quantity. Tour players understand that the party vibe at TPC Scottsdale isn’t just tolerated, it’s welcomed. Merchandise offerings celebrate the boozy bro culture, like T-shirts proclaiming the wearer got hammered at the 16th hole. One friend at Riviera said he heard from a spectator in Scottsdale who was upset when beer sales were suspended. “There was nothing else to do but watch golf,” they griped.

Please, anything but that....

The social media era has spawned a disease in many sports, in which a handful of spectators believe buying a ticket makes them part of the entertainment, apparently convinced there’s an audience dying to hear their slurred witticisms or watch them guzzle beer from a shoe. In most venues, that group is blessedly small. Not so at the Phoenix Open. To an extent —certainly more than they’re accustomed to — Tour players need to suck it up and tune out oafs riding the rope lines while offering commentary. That’s just part of being a professional athlete. The issue in Scottsdale is that the rope line is no longer the final frontier. Players won’t — and shouldn’t — tolerate people running onto the course to make snow angels in the bunkers, or yelling during the hitting of a shot with the intent of distracting competitors.

To be fair, Eamon, the Tour was encouraging exactly that behavior with its Live Under Par™ campaign.... 

I wouldn't want to stand in the way of Eamon's rousing coda:

It’s not like the Phoenix Open needs to be taken over by the temperance movement — and the game certainly needs reminders these days that fans matter just as much as players — but there has to be a line on appropriate conduct that is policed effectively, and right now that line hasn’t so much been blurred as entirely erased. The alternative is more elite players choosing not to compete, more fans opting not to put their kids in the middle of a bawdy piss-up, and more reluctance on the part of the Tour and its partners to embrace the entire experience.

Perhaps Riviera needs a little more TPC Scottsdale, but TPC Scottsdale needs a lot more Riviera. Perhaps it’s futile to ask spectators in search of a party to act responsibly, but it’s sure as hell not too much to ask of the tournament organizers.

And maybe this will surprise you as much as it did your humble blogger.  Yanno, how we've been saying that all the a******s went to LIV?  Apparently, there's inbreeding involved,. as they all were previously Sun Devils:

Just to be safe, we should probably nuke Tempe.  I mean, why take chances?

To be fair, they still have the important ASU guys left:

Six former Sun Devils have jumped to LIV Golf, most notably Jon Rahm and Phil Mickelson, who have a combined 64 PGA Tour victories. Mickelson once played 30 consecutive times at TPC Scottsdale.

The five remaining Sun Devils in the Phoenix Open field have a combined five PGA Tour wins (three by Chez Reavie and two by Grayson Murray).

 I caught some of this and thought it worked, though I'm not as over the moon as some of the folks:

Like the 16th hole itself, any guarded  approval comes with the caveat that we not roll it out everywhere.... But, as I said when the Kiz trial was announced, I really like the guy, I just think he's more of an on-course voice than an 18th hole tower voice.  This may well support that premise.

Exit Strategy - The above was drafted Wednesday afternoon, and my first cup of Thursday a.m. coffee was spent wondering how to wrap up this post.  Should I circle back and add some detail from Tiger's presser, or maybe look to close the absurd number of browser tabs open, many from the late 1980's?

Fear not dear reader, a better option presents:


Thoughts on why Tiger can’t win at Riviera, Sun Day Red’s logo, adding Canadians to the U.S. Ryder Cup team, Scottie’s putting, Charley Hoffman’s bank account, the OWGR’s irrelevance, best golf books and much more

Maybe they're not always great, but at least I don't need to work up a sweat.... Shall we?  Sorry, that was rhetorical, it's not always about you, Dear Reader.

By my reckoning Tiger has never won as a pro at Riviera. It’s possible he won there as an amateur, but Riv doesn’t host a lot of junior tournaments. Why no Riv wins? Is it the
course, or just a fluke? @PeteViles

Tiger will never say this out loud about a hallowed course where he made his PGA Tour debut but I don’t think he likes Riviera, and no wonder: In 2000, when he played the most dominant golf of all time, he finished 18th at the L.A. Open, his second-worst finish of the year. He couldn’t crack the top 10 the next year and then skipped his hometown event in 2002. In 2006, Tiger shot a second round 74 and W/D’d, citing the flu. In 2007 and ’08, when he was playing some of the best golf of his life, he skipped Riv entirely. Something about the place has never fit his eye, or his game.

For sure.  He did get himself into one LA Open playoff, of course the year the moved it from the Riv, which was hosting the PGA Championship.  But one loves the irony, no?  The MAN gets to host a PGA Tour event, but it's at the one venue that torments him and even now evokes memories of that auto mishap.

#AskAlan How much of a toll has the last two years taken on Phil Mickelson—he looks worn-out to me? With 20 events on the LIV circuit, Mickelson has just two top-10 finishes to his name. @LaBeets50

Yes, it’s been an extremely intense couple of years for Mickelson: global controversy, exile, repudiation by his sponsors, a much-scrutinized return, a near-miss at the Masters, low-grade vindication, the Billy Walters revelations…no wonder his nerve endings are fried! Mickelson will be 54 this year—it’s asking a lot for him to remain competitive against players half his age. He had a three-decade run that is unparalleled in the game’s history for the combination of longevity and excellence, but it had to come to an end at some point.

Was that a question for Alan, or were you looking for Mephistopheles?  You might want to refine that Google search.... But the real answer is, who cares?

Thoughts on Sun Day Red? @LIVGolfEnth

I don’t love the name, or the logo, but the shoes look cool and some of the threads are pretty nice. Tiger has a great physique for modeling clothes so he’ll look good out there. But I will say that after one day I’m already sick of hearing about it.

The underlying question is, of course, can the Big Cat still move the goods.  As noted above, that sound in the background I'm guessing is eggs being laid.....

This question is amusing in and of itself.... But asking it of the man the predicted an era of U.S. Ryder Cup dominance is nothing less than comedy gold:

Should the U.S. Ryder Cup team be expanded to a North American Ryder Cup team? @leaningcowboy

Given the success of the plucky Canucks on Tour, hell yeah! There is precedence for this, as the lads from the other side of the Atlantic didn’t become competitive until Great Britain and Ireland welcomed the continental Europe. Given how the balance of power has shifted, the U.S. clearly needs to call in the Mounties. And we’ll take Abe Ancer, too.

What's the problem?  I had been reliably informed that all pr4oblems had been solved by that Ryder Cup task Force....Yanno, that guy we trashed two questions above.

Do the fans have the right to say something to Zach Johnson about his mismanagement of the Ryder Cup? @JStewGolf

Well, sure, he screwed up royally…but shouting out the critiques in Johnson’s backswing is a bridge too far.

So, no Golf, But Louder™ for Zach?   I have an addendum to Alan's Q&A, the police blotter from Scottsdale:

According to Aaron Bolin, a Scottsdale police spokesperson, officers arrested 54 people between February 5 and February 11.

That was compared to 18 last year, while no arrests were made at ‘the people’s open’ in 2022. The exact charges they were booked on is not immediately available.

Bolin added that 211 fans were ejected from the event, over twice as many as last year, and 73 people were removed for trespassing.

The figures, from the Arizona Department of Liquor License and Control, do not include arrests involving underage drinking violations, as 653 calls for service were made.

Taylor Davidson, a Phoenix resident, told the Arizona Republic that security did not check her bag or scan her ticket.

So, the police just waived them in?  Sounds like an insurrection to this observer....

Back to Shippy:

If Scottie could putt only as well as an average PGA Tour pro, how many tournaments would he have won by now? If Scottie could putt commensurate with the rest of his game, how many majors would he have won by now? And the kicker – why can’t someone teach Scottie to putt? #askalan @DStan58

Pretty sure that the answer to first two are, all of them.

14 wins, 4 majors…at least. Even though it gets discussed on every telecast, I’m still not sure folks understand how incredible Scheffler is tee to green. He’s approaching peak Tiger! But the crucial difference is that Woods made a million clutch putts to key his victories while so often Scottie fails to hole the crucial momentum putt. As for why Scheffler can’t just learn how to do it, well, very, very few players are given everything. The golf swing is a marriage of grace and violence, demanding speed, balance, timing and myriad physical gifts. Putting is quiet and contemplative, requiring imagination and extreme concentration. It’s pretty much a different sport from what happens in the long-game. Maybe Scheffler will improve his putting, but that is hardly a gimme.

I think the enigma is that Scottie was a perfectly adequate putter for his entire amateur and early professional career, quite frankly right up until that bizarre 4-jack on the 18th green at Augusta.  Has he been the same guy since?

I haven't seen anybody miss so many shorties so badly since, well, when did Rory last play?

Nick Taylor has more wins in the last two years than Spieth, Thomas, Morikawa, Cantlay, Schauffele, & Young combined. Why has this become the journeyman’s Tour? #AskAlan @brianros1

That is one helluva stat. You can go through each player mentioned above and find a reason: swing changes, injury, new fatherhood…but the mules on Tour deal with those things, too. Maybe it’s as simple as the corrosive power of money. FedEx Cup bonuses, PIP bonuses, Aon bonuses, travel stipends, $20 million dollar Signature events with no cuts…the top end of the game has become soooo decadent. When you suddenly have generational wealth maybe it’s not as enticing to practice your putting for hours on end under a blistering sun? Meanwhile, the proletariat on Tour are desperately clamoring for a taste of that lucre, and perhaps that hunger is fueling all of these unexpected wins.

Wow, Alan, given the extent to which you've pimped LIV and the unified theory of elite golf, I assume you'll be gazing at your navel for a bit?  It kind of undermines the last three years of your work.

The simple answer, though, is that it's because it's a GOLF tour.  This is the nature of our game, in which the greatest players of their generation win sporadically.  Just remember who is trying to keep the Nick Taylors (obviously I don't mean Nick specifically, but rather those guys ranked from 70-156 on the priority list) out of the most important events, for they know any of these guys can do what Nick has done.

Will you allow me the liberty of interjecting an unrelated point that is ever so relevant?  I know, but are you aware that this week's Signature Event at Riviera has a cut?  Yeah, but not a cut that you'd ever recognize:

The tour ultimately agreed, and thus these three events, starting with this week’s stop at Riviera Country Club, will see some players going home early—but it could be only a handful. The field here begins with 70 players, which for most tour events is around the number of players who make the cut and play on the weekend (standard tour events have a low 65 and ties number for the cutline). But after 36 holes, only the top 50 players and ties will be moving on at Riviera, as well as anyone 10 shots or closer to the lead.

For comparison, last year, when the Genesis field started with 129 entrants, Max Homa led after two rounds at 10 under. The cut came at two over, with 68 players making the weekend. Under this year's setup, those who shot one under last year and made the cut—including Woods—would not play this weekend.

They've removed 59 playing slots from one of the biggest purses of the year, but they'll proclaim this as superior event to, say, Pebble, because of the cut.  Except that Pebble's field was more like eighty players.... All to get Patrick paid.

Thoughts on DJ slipping 13 spots in OWGR after his win in Las Vegas? I believe he still has the game to make noise in the majors. #AskAlan @RossJon22

It’s cute that you still look at the OWGR. I haven’t done so in months because it has lost all meaning. We can debate a lot of things about LIV but there is zero doubt that Dustin Johnson, Jon Rahm, Brooks Koepka, Bryson DeChambeau, Cam Smith and Joaquin Niemann are among the best two dozen or so players on the planet. (Talor Gooch might be, too.) That they are inhabiting the nether regions of the OWGR, or soon will be, is a farce. Even those at the top of the World Ranking know it: at Pebble Beach, Rory McIlroy said the all-inclusive Data Golf Ranking is what he checks. As for DJ, his play in the majors last year was atrocious and he said that motivated him to work harder on his game over the off-season. An early win in Vegas suggests that he was practicing the right things. I look forward to seeing what he brings to the biggest tournaments.

Sorry, Alan, but you're giving me whiplash....

Above you embrace the Nick Taylor story, which I agree is a good one.  But in the same mailbag you extol a Tour that has no use for the Nick Taylor's of the world.  You really can't have it both ways....

Either you play on Tour that allows young talent to emerge, and I quite agree that the PGA is moving in the wrong direction in this regard.  You say that those guys are among the best players in the world, but I can only agree that they used to be.  If they want to play exhibitions, that's their right, but no one is paying any attention...

Another interjection of marginal relevance:

Can you feel the game growing?  I mean, no more than three-quarters of those were tuned in to see what Paulina might be wearing (or, more likely, not wearing).

By contrast:

Sure, Alan, they're the same....  But, shall we compare field size?

Apparently, Employee No. 2 isn't the only one taking this hard:

How bad should we feel for Charley Hoffman? He sits 30th on the all-time money list, but also it was a sad way to lose a tournament that felt like it might be his career achievement? @Blulinski

I certainly felt a pang for Hoffman on Sunday. He’s had a very nice career and, at 47, will clearly be an ATM on the Senior Tour, if the private equity sharks soon to be running PGA Tour Enterprises don’t shut down that perennial money loser. Still, if Hoffman could have pulled out the win in Phoenix it would have been an exclamation point on his career and given him one last hurrah in the Masters and a few other big events. There are some things money can’t buy. Still, the dude abides.

Charley would have been a good story, just as Nick is.  But Alan doesn't seem to get that pimping for LIV effectively elbows Charley out of any opportunities to create stories....

I’m a Buffalo Bills season ticket holder and they cut off beer sales after halftime. After the debacle of this past weekend, do you think Phoenix will do that going forward, cut off sales at a set time? #AskAlan @BillsMafia1985

They would be crazy not to, but clearly the tournament organizers don’t want to be perceived as party-poopers. The Phoenix Open has been trending toward out-of-control for a while but still very little is done to curtail heavy pre-gaming in the parking lots or cut off patrons who are clearly overserved on the grounds. What will force change is if a bunch of top players start skipping the tournament, even if/when it is given Signature status. That hurts TV ratings, which bums out the sponsor, and that is how revolution comes to the PGA Tour.

But it ain't getting Signature status, is it?  And that puts another longtime Tour sponsor on the outs with the cool kids.... It's almost as if their event is going, pardon the expression, wide right.

Do you get the sense that the PGA Tour is actually willing to play ball with the Public Investment Fund/LIV or are they trying to run out the clock knowing a lot of big names will lose their major exemptions in the next couple years? @UnclePMo

The slow-playing can’t last forever—we will know in the next couple of months whether the framework agreement winds up in the recycling bin or if the PIF will invest a few billion dollars into PGA Tour Enterprises to buy its way into the golf establishment. The time horizon that matters is four years, which is the length of the contracts of LIV’s biggest names. We’re now in year three. The future of LIV will come down to the negotiations and machinations between Yasir Al-Rumayyan and the tour’s best players, beginning this coming off-season. LIV has done a remarkable job keeping it in-house but there is plenty of disenchantment among the players at the heavy-handed and often chaotic way the PIF runs the tour, with much of the decision-making filtered through the white-shoe law firm of Gibson Dunn; professional sports is very different from the oil business and courtroom litigation. But money can buy happiness, or at least acquiescence . Someone close to one of LIV’s marquee attractions recently said this to me about the impending contract negotiations: “Will he stay? If they offer him the same money as last time around, abso-fucking-lutely. But if Yasir gets stingy, he’s gone.”

That's an interesting sound bite, which at least hints at the bad hand Yasir has.  I don't know how much of the Tour's strategy was planned, but right at this moment Yasir has limited options.  Of course we assume he can keep writing checks, but can he write enough checks to make LIV work?  Color me skeptical...

In this new era of high purses, do you think we will see a regular season match play PGA Tour event? What venue would fit? Personally, I would love to see Bandon Dunes get a crack at that even though the infrastructure isn’t there. #AskAlan @derrickq42

Bandon would indeed be epic, and it actually has plenty of infrastructure for a 64-man field. But match play is dead on Tour for the same reason the Signature events don’t have a cut: sponsors, and TV, are now demanding that the stars be part of the show on the weekend. Match play is too much of a crapshoot, and too few warm bodies are left for the Saturday and Sunday telecasts. It’s a bummer because the last thing the Tour needs is more 72-hole stroke play events.

Painfully silly nonsense.  Irony alert, in the world of diminished field sizes, the one event that can justify a 64-player field is, of course, RIP.  I'd love to have a match-play event, but we shouldn't pretend that they're great events.  They're a change of pace and do allow for alternative venues (although those arguing for Bandon don't understand that Mike Keiser has no interest in hosting professional events), but I wouldn't be holding your breath.

Wife and I are going on our first non-kids vacation in 12 years. What should I read? Already burned through your books and The Ball in the Air. @RyanGolfGuy

You flatter me, good sir. In no particular order, these are my favorite golf books: The Green Road Home, by Michael Bamberger; The Bogey Man, by George Plimpton; Golf Dreams, by John Updike; Down the Fairway, by Bobby Jones; Hogan, by Curt Sampson; Arnie, by Tom Callahan; Golf in the Kingdom, by Michael Murphy. I’m jealous that you get to discover these for the first time.

GITK?  Why do you hate your readers, Alan?

Updike beckons, as does the Arnie biography.  No The Match?  Of course, can't not mention Tommy's Honour as well.

Q: Next year should the Wasted Management event have a ‘Colosseum Hole’ where between groups, naked drunken fans have a chance to invade the green and fight to the death with a bear or mountain lion? I can’t see why not. @JTNeesonJnr

I am fully on board with this. There is probably no going back now, so it’s time for the tournament to go all-in with the hedonism.

In case you guys weren't watching, that pretty much describes a certain Par-3 at TPC Scottsdale....

Credit to Alan, I like his exit Q&A:

Is the new Tiger logo a denatured DNA strand and has it some deeper meaning, like it represents how fractured the game of golf is and Tiger is making a profound philosophical statement? @EoinMurphyej1

Our idiosyncratic views is what makes the world so interesting, because when I look at the logo all I see is Fluff Cowan’s mustache.

That's pretty damn good:


 Have Tiger and Fluff patched things up?

That's it for today, and likely the week.  Unless Tiger leads or dies, I suspect I'll next see you on Monday.  have a great weekend.

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Tuesday, February 13, 2024

Weekend Wrap - Tuesday Finish Edition

Amusingly, your humble blogger went to bed Sunday night assuming that the Niners would hold off the Chiefs and that Charley Hoffman had won in Phoenix.  Do I have my finger on the pulse of professional sports, or what?

Wasted Again - That was a tough one at Casa Unplayable Lies, because Employee No. 2 is a Charley Hoffman dead-ender.  How did she become a fan of Charley?  Well, Lumpy's retirement hit her pretty hard....

But the Face Plant Tour™ continues unabated, eh?  That was intended to be a Canadian-inflected "eh", so hope it sounded like that as you read it.  I mean, were Jay Monahan trying to destroy the PGA Tour, what exactly would he do defiantly?

A couple of events ago I recited the list of 2024 Tour winners, featuring everyone from Grayson Murray to some amateur that will now commence seven years in the wilderness.  Since then, we can add Wyndham Clark and Nick Taylor, but the needle remains stubbornly unmoved.  Tiger, Patrick and their sycophants assure us that only about five players actually matter, but that leaves a kind of emptiness when those specific guys play poorly and don't so much as contend.

There are stories to be had, whether it's Grayson Murrays redemption, Nick Dunlap's coming out party or that middle-aged Frenchman, but the Tour has effectively spit on anything that doesn't involve the Chose Few.  Now, conveniently, the Tour answers the pressing question, what else can we do to eff this up?

Well, how much you got?

Gates closed, alcohol sales suspended amid chaos at WM Phoenix Open | Rogers Report

And:

‘Don’t ‘sir’ me!’: Tensions boil over between players, fans at sloppy WM Phoenix Open

And:

'Shut up': Zach Johnson, Billy Horschel yell at unruly 2024 WM Phoenix Open fans

 But wait, it wasn't just unruly, apparently The Wasted now comes with a body count:

Video shows fan being carried out before the end of Day 1, the WM Phoenix Open is officially underway 

Were I a cynical man, I could add the NY Times-inspired, "Women and minorities hardest hit":

Woman hospitalized after falling from Phoenix Open grandstand

Do we think UPI was paid by WM to, just in that one instance, call it the retro Phoenix Open?

But before we leave this topic, Golfweek reminds of an epic comeback from Chris DiMarco:

Unruly Phoenix Open fans stir memories of epic Chris DiMarco quip: 'I'd love to get a six-pack of beer ... go yell at them while they're making sales calls'

I include that bit mostly because it's funny, but also because it highlights that, despite to response we'll get to below, this is not something that just suddenly happened.  They've been living on the edge for years....So, in that vein:

Phoenix Open leadership eyes changes in wake of incidents

Let's give them their due.... the Thunderbirds have created an event that doesn't blur into the life-sapping, week-to-week drabness of the PGA Tour, even more impressive in that they've made Super Bowl week actually work for them.  That said, it's long been apparent that someone is gonna get hurt, but we can't do anything about that because there's beer to be sold.  So, you can judge whether this is sincere:

Chance Cozby, the executive director of the Thunderbirds, the civic organization that hosts the Phoenix Open, told the Golf Channel on Monday that the tournament is already looking at ways to fix the issues that plagued the largest tournament on the PGA Tour this year.

"I think that you will see a complete operational change of how we manage, really, our Friday and Saturday, but the entire week," Cozby said. "We're very proud of what we've built. I think, we've been tournament of the year on the PGA Tour five of the last seven years. But we don't like what happened on Saturday. The players don't like what happened on Saturday. Our fans don't like what happened on Saturday, and, so, nothing is off the table."

Cozby said the Phoenix Open's leadership team spent "five or six hours" Saturday afternoon as fans were starting to leave brainstorming what changes needed to happen. The initial focus will be on the sale of general admission tickets and the tournament's "complete security plan."

 OK, but everyone talks about the weather, but no one does anything about it:

Cozby explained that the onslaught of rain last week led the grounds at the TPC Scottsdale, where the Phoenix Open has been played since 1987, to become muddy and slick, which forced fans to walk along the concrete paths instead of using the grassy hills to sit and walk.

That "really created significant congestion to where, ultimately, on Saturday we didn't do anything different from a ticketing or fan perspective as we've done in years past," Cozby said. "But since areas of the golf course were not usable, the decision was made by our security partners and our team to close the front gate, to close the concession stands, to close alcohol sales. We opened up all of our security blowouts on the entire course to safely remove our fans from the course and get everything back under control and try to get through that Saturday, which was a very tough day."

Yanno, it's pretty easy to get a weather forecast, and perhaps adjust before the disaster.... I put in that DiMarco just to remind that these aren't new issues.  I'll also remind that the Tour's ill-conceived Live Under Par™ campaign encouraged and celebrated drunken fans and combined with the Tour aggressive embrace of on-course gambling, puts us in uncharted territory.

The Tour Confidential panel led with this issue:

Due to overcrowding, the WM Phoenix Open cut off alcohol sales and closed its gates from ticket-holders entering the course Saturday. The tournament has long marketed itself as the biggest party in golf, but on Friday a spectator fell from the 16th hole grandstands, and
several videos shared on social media showed wild scenes and irritated Tour pros. (In a statement, the WM Phoenix Open said it closed the course since heavy rainfall led to severe congestion at key points.) Are these instances outliers, or has the biggest party in golf finally gotten too big?

Josh Sens: Are we supposed to be surprised by any of this? It’s exactly the type of atmosphere the tournament has cultivated for years. I don’t think of this as a tipping point. It’s just the odds playing out. You don’t get to throw a boozy fraternity party for tens of thousands of people and then act surprised or disappointed that some crazy things went down.

James Colgan: As someone generally terrified of large crowds, enclosed spaces, and overserved twentysomethings stoking the embers of their problematic college youth, WMPO sounded like it might literally be the worst place on earth for a few hours on Saturday. On Sunday morning, it seemed like the players began feeling that way, too. Yeah, it got too big for a little bit this weekend, but I’m mostly glad I watched that happen from the comfort of my living room.

Sean Zak: The biggest outlier was the storm mother nature dumped on Phoenix in the lead up to this event. But this event is all about fans standing out compared to the normal golf fan. They promote “Look what I can do,” or “Look what I can shout.” If enough players speak up, tournament organizers will do something. But it may be too far gone to really contain it easily.

Speaking up is good, the other alternative is to not peg it that week.

But, having suggested that the lads vote with their feet, I also have to acknowledge that that's probably not an option, thanks to our enlightened Tour leadership.  For the great unwashed masses, playing opportunities are scarce, because of the microscopic fields at the Signature Events Money Grabs.   We've always said that Phoenix works because those uncomfortable with the environment don't have to play there.  Which is great, until you deny them a tee time at Pebble and Riviera, so now they sort of have to play anywhere they can...

Should any preventative measures be taken going forward? And how do you tone down the Phoenix Open without ruining its reputation that’s made it stand out from other Tour stops?

Sens: This thing has gotten so big and wild that you could probably cut the crowds in half and place stricter limits on booze and still have an event that stands out from other Tour stops. But
that’s still no guarantee that things wouldn’t ever get out of hand. Maybe just rebrand it Golf, but Dumber so you have complete buyer-beware deniability.

Colgan: Obviously the tournament organizers lost control for a bit this weekend and would be wise (for basic legal and public health reasons) not to do that again, but I don’t think there’s an existential issue here. Cut the crowds a little and hope for better weather next year.

Zak: What I appreciate most is the tournament just pinning these issues on the rain. Sure, it led to overcrowding, but you know what also leads to overcrowding? Selling hundreds of thousands of tickets. This event was overcrowded in 2023, when there wasn’t a drop of rain. So yeah, I think preventative measures begin with selling fewer tickets. Or maybe build out a reason for those fans to actually go out to the 6th or 7th holes, rather than focus on the final three.

The good news is that the Tour itself has marginalized this event.  It's not important enough to carry that Signature moniker, so we are all free to ignore it. Except, of course, for those trying to hold onto or enhance their playing opportunities.

But this might be my favorite side note to this event.  Can anyone sense what might go wrong here?

 Ringing any bells?  Anyone?  Bueller?

His wife did encourage him to get tackled harder.... But he does indicate that the lesson has been learned:

Adam Hadwin learned his lesson. He wore his PGA Tour badge and didn’t go running on the
green with a bottle of champagne to spray Nick Taylor when he holed the winning putt to win the WM Phoenix Open in a sudden-death playoff on Sunday.

Hadwin, you may recall, got tackled by a security guard at the RBC Canadian Open in June when he wasn’t recognized as a Tour pro.

On Sunday, Hadwin wore the same green hoodie and jeans he was wearing in Canada on that fateful day as Taylor battled it out with Charley Hoffman. Hadwin said he sported the same outfit that morning for good luck for Taylor, who shared the 54-hole lead. As one social media commentator noted, “It’s like he wants it to happen.”

Sounds like a great friend willing to take a hit for his team....

LIV Stuff -  I can't help myself, they're just too damn easy to pick on... Apparently, we're supposed to be excited:

Glitzy?

LIV Golf’s decision to stage a tournament in Las Vegas the same week as Super Bowl LVIII was … let’s call it ambitious. That’s looking at it as a sporting event. But consider LIV Golf, whic
h blares music during tournament rounds at its 54-hole events, to be an entertainment product and the gamble to go to Vegas seemed to pay off with big odds.

LIV Golf Las Vegas was a show, and like the dozens of others held in the casinos along The Strip, this one came to a dramatic end.

In cold and windy conditions on Saturday at Las Vegas Country Club, six players shared the lead at 10 under with three holes to play, and Dustin Johnson birdied three of the last six to shoot one-under-par 69 and finish 54 holes at 12 under to claim his third overall LIV title by one shot.

OK, but was anyone watching?   That sound you hear is LIV not releasing their ratings.... As I've been reliably informed, the only way to grow golf is to pay Patrick and put up with loud noise: 

Jon Rahm was not really feeling the 'Golf, But Louder' vibes on Saturday at LIV Vegas

So sad....But, just to clarify, the check cleared?

Unfortunately, silence is not golden on the LIV Tour, which allows music to blare in the background throughout competition. The party atmosphere was very much alive for Saturday's final round at Las Vegas Country Club, where Rahm was firmly in the mix with just seven holes remaining.

At the par-3 12th Rahm sat just two shots off the lead, and things were getting tense. Despite numerous pleas from his caddie Adam Hayes to get fans to quiet down, they would not listen (mind you, there is music blasting). Eventually Rahm himself had to step in, saying "make sure your phones are on silent." However you feel about all the LIV-PGA Tour drama, we can all admit Rahm begging for quiet when there's no quiet to be had is a hilarious image. Shoutout to our friend Joe Idone for picking this one up:

The irony, she burns.

But these guys are world class, we're reliably informed:

A Rahm shank, a Bryson top, and a DJ win — how LIV finished out in Vegas

I can't stop laughing.  Brooks has admitted that he'd never have gone to LIV if he thought he could still play and their latest savior obviously hates everything about the place, so I love when a plan comes together.

It doesn't get more pitiful than this:

Were LIV pros told they’d get World Ranking points? Carlos Ortiz weighs in.

Of course they were told that, the bigger issue is why they would have believed it....

The issue of World Ranking points was never really a secret. Members of the upstart league were unlikely to get them for any number of reasons, and even if they were to receive them, it would likely be a while before they arrived. Major championship eligibility is determined using the same rankings, so those who accepted bloated payouts from the upstart league were doing so with the tacit acknowledgment that their major championship futures were in doubt.

So why, exactly, were so many LIV players upset to see their World Ranking dropping?

I'm going to go with that they're entitled asshats that believe they're so special that they can screw the organization that made them incredibly wealthy and it will all somehow work out.

On this week’s Subpar, LIV signee and long-time pro Carlos Ortiz explained.

“I think it’s both [LIV told us that we were going to get World Ranking points and that we feel we have good enough golfers to get them],” Ortiz said. “They definitely said that we were going to get them, we haven’t got them. I just feel that, people have to recognize that there are good players here, and if you want to have a ranking that includes all the golf players, you have to have some [LIV] people included in that ranking.”

Yes, Carlos, there are good players there.  Unfortunately, these good players have devoted their precious, time-sensitive caree4rs to a series of lucrative exhibition matches, in which actual golf fans have no interest.  

But the funnies thing of all is that they believed Greg Norman....  Or, more likely, the checks were so big that they didn't care.  Now they care and whine, which is even funnier and kind of pathetic.  Actions have consequences, Carlos.

I'm going to release you here and promise to caver all things Riviera, Tiger and Sun Day Red in the next couple of days.  Hope you're jiggy with that.

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