Midweek Musings - Soporific Par-3 Edition

Yeah, I tipped my hand on that Wednesday tradition, but the rest of the week is still pretty good...

Dinner Disappointment - I've checked the Augusta, GA police blotter, and it seems that everyone got along.... ort at least kept things in house.

Strangely, while we have an account, I'll lede with Mike Bamberger's preview of the dinner, in which he says some interesting things about those larger issues facing us.  It's a bit late in the game, for sure, but I found his take on things clarifying:

I see this whole LIV thing as a litmus test for your value system. That is your value system. Joaquin Niemann, a 24-year-old Chilean golfer who turned pro as a teenager after being unable to gain entry

to an American university, has no natural attachment to the PGA Tour and its traditions. (No guaranteed payday, big fields, four rounds with mid-tournament cut.) And I really do understand some (not all) of Mickelson’s frustration, that the PGA Tour operates as tax-exempt non-profit but surely doesn’t look like one. He wanted a bigger piece of the pie.

But how much is enough? How about working within the system that made you in the first place, no matter how long it might take? How about a sense of loyalty to the players—and sponsors and fans and volunteers—who were there before you collected your first check, who are there now and who will be there long after you’ve played your last shot?

I assume those questions in the middle 'graph to be rhetorical, because it's Phil he's speaking of.... But he took upon himself the right to go outside the system, and for that the penalty has to be lifetime exclusion.  Are we clear on that, Jay?

Although I'm disappointed that Mike didn't much deliver on his subhead:

A Seat At The Table

Expect civility to reign at the Champions Dinner, but the winners in the room are a reminder of the hunger it takes to be great

This is as far as he went, and he seems to have gone out of his way to acknowledge the irony:

LIV Golf, to me, is entertainment. Forty-eight players, three rounds, shotgun start and what-just-happened finishes? A nice exhibition. What drew me to the PGA Tour is the athletic competition. LIV Golf seems like more-more-more. I don’t know. Hogs get fat and pigs get slaughtered. Tiger Woods, for a while there, was actually hanging on every driving-range word Bryson DeChambeau said in his admirable quest to solve golf’s riddles. Now Tiger doesn’t even respond to Bryson’s texts. 

Yes, but don't you find it strange that the PGA Tour hasn't been calling them exhibitions?  That's because they're seizing the day by turning their own events into exhibitions....

What did happen at dinner?  Not much if you're looking for broken dinnerware, though still kind of interesting:

The elephant in the room went unaddressed Tuesday evening at the Champions Dinner.

According to multiple past champions, the topic of Masters winners leaving the PGA Tour for LIV Golf was not mentioned during the annual get-together.

“We’re just 33 past champions in a room, all trying to get along,” said 1979 winner Fuzzy Zoeller. “Nobody said a word about it. Phil sat near the end of the table and kept to himself. He didn’t speak at all.”

As for Fred Couples?

“Couples spoke a lot but didn’t mention LIV at all,” 1973 winner Tommy Aaron said. “I sat next to Freddie, and he and Ray Floyd kept trying to figure out how many champions had come out of the final group.”

And Ben struck a nice note as well:

Ben Crenshaw, who’s been the emcee of the dinner since 2005, welcomed the table by reading a 1954 letter that Ben Hogan had scribed to Masters co-founders Bobby Jones and Clifford Roberts. The letter shared the significance of being a member of the Masters Club.

“Dear Bob and Cliff,” wrote Hogan, as thirty-three sets of eyes latched to Crenshaw. “Today I received my invitation to the 1954 Masters Tournament and I am delighted to see this familiar invitation again. It brings back memories of the time I received my first invitation, back in 1938. Prior to that year, I remember hoping and praying that my game and record would qualify me for this much-prized invitation.”

Crenshaw paused to ensure all remained engaged. It wasn’t the first two paragraphs that stood out, but rather Hogan’s final words.

“Surely this has to be the most exclusive club of all. Not only do a fortunate few of us have the tournament to look forward to, but the annual meeting of our club as well. Here, long after serious competition for some of us comes to an end, we can still get together and reminisce,” Hogan wrote.

There were some concerns addressed, but mostly about the soup:

When asked how the food was, Aaron said, “The ribeye was fantastic, but the tortilla soup was spicy as hell.”

Added Fuzzy: “That soup was pretty damn spicy, but I enjoyed everything else.”

And that lonely guy in the corner?  Well, he seems to have found his milieu, though we'd wish he'd have employed this strategy last year:

As for Aaron’s thoughts on Mickelson, “I wished him good luck, but I couldn’t believe how quiet he was. Phil took a very low profile. He didn’t say a word.”

A penny for your thoughts, pretty boy.  At what point does the magnitude of that which he has squandered set in?

Super Tuesday - Alan Shipnuck signs up doer the triathlon of sportswriting:

Forget the back nine on Sunday, the Masters really begins in the press building on Tuesday morning, when a procession of the game’s biggest stars take their turns pontificating, prognosticating and chewing the fat with the global golf press. Nine months removed from the most recent major championship, Masters Tuesday serves as professional golf’s unofficial state of the union. The green jackets subtly made their feelings known, excluding any LIV golfers from the slate of nine interviews. (Champion Golfer of the Year Cam Smith was one of three pros to journey into the media center on Monday.) Rory McIlroy was the first man in the arena, at 9:30 a.m. sharp. Leading off with the game’s preeminent spokesman represented cagey scheduling, guaranteeing a packed house even though the assembled scribes were bleary-eyed from late nights and bloated on press room breakfasts. (The vanilla pancakes are particularly scrumptious.)

I'll give you a moment to absorb that telling factoid.  This righteous band of brothers are unwilling to take time from their relentless efforts to grow the game to answer a few softball questions.... The very same questions they've been ducking since "scary mofos" entered the vernacular...

This is kind of news:

McIlroy addressed the elephant in the room, saying, “I think the more face time you get with [LIV golfers], the more comfortable you become in some way. I’m going to go play nine holes here with Brooks [Koepka] in a little bit. And look, it’s a very nuanced situation and there’s different dynamics. You know, it’s OK to get on with Brooks and DJ [Dustin Johnson] and maybe not get on with some other guys that went to LIV, right? It’s interpersonal relationships, that’s just how it goes.”

Rory, no need to explain, even they hate Patrick.

Alan next tackles a huge issue at these pressers, though not sure the Spaniard will appreciate it:

Jon Rahm arrived hard on McIlroy’s heels; the press conferences were scheduled rat-a-tat every

30 minutes…with the exception of a long lull after Tiger Woods’s, allowing reporters to file their semi-mandatory Eldrick stories (and cram in lunch in the media center’s sit-down restaurant; the grilled caprese sandwich with pesto and balsamic vinegar pairs nicely with the Southern fried chicken). Per the prevailing custom, Rahm did not wear a hat, a nod to Augusta National’s strictly enforced gentility. Hat-head is always a thing on Masters Tuesday, and Rahm’s was particularly unfortunate. “I keep my hat on as often as I can,” said Justin Thomas, a nod to both the logo that helps butter his bread and his rapidly expanding forehead, “but I respect the rules if places want me to take it off. I have no problem with it.” In regards to Rahm, one Twitter wag referred to his ghostly white forehead as evoking Uncle Fester from The Addams Family.

If Uncle Fester was the best player in the world....

I didn't blog that nine-hole practice round, but he'll make a lot of folks jealous:

Masters rookie Tom Kim was up next. He radiated ebullience, which makes sense given that the day before he had played a practice round with the Hall of Fame trio of Woods, McIlroy and Fred Couples. “I did not put the group together,” he said. “That’s impossible, probably, for me.” He admitted that, internally, he feels much older than 20, alluding to “Clooney years,” presumably a reference to the silver-haired actor. Easy, grasshopper.

They tried to pull off the simultaneous ball-skipping on No. 16:

It's surprising that the green jackets allow anything that playful....

Of course he'll get to the Big Cat:

When Woods strolled in, the temperature in a big, soulless room went up. He remains both a superstar and an enigma, and the Masters will always define his legend, including his unlikely

made-cut last year returning to the course after a horrific car accident nearly led to the amputation of his right leg. After a lifetime of grinding, Woods spoke movingly of his newly enlarged perspective. “The joy is different now,” he said. “I’ve been able to spend more time with my son, and we’ve been able to create our own memories out there. And to share some of the things that I experienced with my dad, the late-night putting or practice sessions that we did at the Navy Golf Course, I’m doing with my son. It’s incredible, the bonding and the moments that come because of this sport.”

The Masters announced earlier in the week that its tees are mowed to 5/16”, fairways 3/8” and collars 1/4”. A hatless Woods appeared to have all of these different heights in the sparse rough atop his head. Father Time remains undefeated, and Woods, playing in his 25th Masters, sounded uncharacteristically reflective, saying, “I don’t know how many more [Masters] I have in me. So just [want] to appreciate the time that I have here and cherish the memories.” He did have one note of optimism for those who fear he can no longer contend with so few tournament reps. “I know the golf course,” said the five-time Masters champ. “So I’ve been able to recreate a lot of the chip shots at home in my backyard or I’m at Medalist hitting balls off sidehill lies, trying to simulate shots and rehearsing again and again each and every flag location, each and every shot I would possibly hit. I’ve gone through so many different scenarios in my head. You know I don’t sleep very well, so going through it and rummaging through the data bank and how to hit shots from each and every place and rehearsing it; that’s the only way that I can compete here. I don’t have the physical tournaments under my belt. I haven’t played that much, no. But if there’s any one golf course that I can come back on, it’s here, just because I know the golf course.”

But no issues with hat hair....

JT, Scottie and Fitzpatrick come off well, you should click through for those.  But if you thought they'd tee up a strong curtain-closer, well you'll be disappointed:

At last, the final press conference of the day. In a sadistic twist, the lords of Augusta scheduled

Patrick Cantlay, whose anodyne, monotone, life-sucking, content-free interviews have led many reporters to consider a more exciting profession, like proctology. Only seven brave souls turned out for Cantlay, who on six occasions answered questions with “I’m not sure.” For good measure, he also threw in an “I don’t think much about it.” At 3:47 p.m. the press conference mercifully ended, with the moderator’s closing words: “Thank you for your time, Patrick.”

Patrick?! He’s not the one who sat through more than six hours of press conferences! Honestly, it was pretty fun. Come Sunday, there will be only one champion, but everyone feels like a winner on Masters Tuesday. In the words of Homa, “Yeah, it’s definitely a different world when you get to see your name on a press sheet at Augusta National.”

Seven, you say?  The over-under was three...

Alan mentioned that Cam had spoken to the press on Monday, and was relatively candid in spots:

Perhaps it was the location that brought some toned-down realism to the rhetoric, or just Smith’s nature, but he acknowledged the importance of the week for the upstart league. “I think it's just important for LIV guys to be up there because … there's a lot of chatter about ‘These guys don't play real golf; these guys don't play real golf courses.’ For sure, I'll be the first one to say, the fields aren't as strong.” This was a pretty point-blank admission from a LIV player that he’s thinking the same thing as much of the golf world: the LIV guys have a lot to gain, and a lot to lose, depending on how they perform this week.

 As for his own game?

The highest-ranked LIV player did not sound enthused about the state of his game. (“I think I'm just not playing really good golf at the moment.”) That assessment of his own game brought a perhaps unintended shot at the venues and challenges he’s faced so far this year. “I'm just working on kind of getting a little bit more creative, hitting some different shots into the greens. I feel like I've been maybe a little bit…too one-dimensional for a lot of the time this year…this place for me is—I feel like I have to be creative. To get to some of those pins, you have to hit the big high cut. You have to hit the low sweeping draw into a back pin.” Despite one questioner’s amusing attempt to get Kevin Na to compare the Crooked Cat to Augusta National, there are almost no similarities between the two. ANGC is a place that allows Cam to shine and show off his creativity as he did at the Old Course in July. (To be clear, choosing one-dimensional host sites is not just a LIV problem. Many PGA Tour venues also don’t promote the most creative golf.)

That's fair enough, though the level of competition is the greater concern to me.... He's spot on that their performance this week will be way over-interpreted, but does anyone think that we're looking at more than Cam, DJ and maybe Joaquin?  I guess Koepka should be added since he seems healthy, but the other fourteen seem destined for canon fodder.

Pairings -  Geoff has discerned just a wee bias against LIV in these featured groups:

Hmmm, seems like Geoff himself has a wee bias against a certain Ulsterman....

Full pairings here, just not sure you'll be able to read it (you can enlarge it from the link above)

If, like you're humble blogger, you're interested in how they've buried the LIV bodies, here they are:

8:00 a.m. -- Mike Weir, Kevin Na
8:24 a.m. -- Sandy Lyle, Jason Kokrak, Talor Gooch
8:48 a.m. -- Adrian Meronk, Kevin Kisner, Louis Oosthuizen
9:12 a.m. -- Sergio Garcia, Kazuki Higa, Keith Mitchell
9:24 a.m. -- Patrick Reed, Adam Svensson, Sahith Theegala
9:36 a.m. -- Shane Lowry, Mackenzie Hughes, Thomas Pieters
9:48 a.m. -- Bubba Watson, Seamus Power, Mateo Fernandez de Oliveira
10:06 a.m. -- Abraham Ancer, Chris Kirk, Keegan Bradley
10:54 a.m. -- Hideki Matsuyama, Cameron Smith, Sungjae Im
11:30 a.m. -- J.T. Poston, Francesco Molinari, Bryson DeChambeau
11:42 a.m. -- Bernhard Langer, Mito Pereira, Ben Carr
11:54 a.m. -- Danny Willett, Gary Woodland, Brooks Koepka
12:12 p.m. -- Sepp Straka, Harold Varner III, K.H. Lee
12:24 p.m. -- Phil Mickelson, Tom Hoge, Si Woo Kim
1:00 p.m. -- Brian Harman, Joaquin Niemann, Tyrrell Hatton
1:12 p.m. -- Dustin Johnson, Corey Conners, Justin Rose

By my own count that's 17 of the 18, but I've no clue as to who I missed.  But they seem quite tame, as I don't expect Mito to cause any trouble with Bernhard....

Who Ya Got? - I've got a pool to enter, but don't plan on diving too deep into picks.  It's just that I look at this weather forecast via Geoff:

That's on top of the absurd amounts of rain that have fallen in the last week+, which focuses my attention on the one guy:

Rory McIlroy keeps facing the same Masters question. Will he find the answer?

Shockingly, Dylan Dethier frames it around that Sunday collapse in 2011 (I know, who coulda seen that coming?):

One thing is clear: That final round feels like a very long time ago. And another thing: It’s impossible to know its ripple effect. Losing builds scar tissue, but it builds determination too. Maybe it was that failure that propelled McIlroy over the top at the very next major, the 2011 U.S. Open at Congressional, where he set a slew of scoring records and won by eight. He was hungry enough to earn another eight-shot major win at the PGA Championship the following year and then, in 2014, the Open Championship and a second PGA. But a third thing became clear: As his résumé grew, the Masters-sized gap in his trophy case began to feel chasmic.

Yes, but Dylan elides one significant difference, to wit, that Congressional and Kiawah were played under extremely soft conditions, in which balls stuck where they landed.  Hence my focus on the weather forecast as relates to Rory.

Here's the arguments... He's suffered in recent years from distance-control issues with his wedges and from wildly inconsistent putting.  There's anecdotal evidence that he's improved the former, though will need a good week with that new blade putter.  The putter change itself was somewhat amusing, because he credited it with making himself more athletic as well as more creative with the Anser-like blade, both of which claims had eyes rolling.... 

I don't know yet that I'm prepared to actually select Rory in my pool but, as I've mentioned in prior posts, it has a strong "Now or never" feel to it, based upon his strong recent play and conditions specifically curated for his benefit.  Or, yanno, he can do what he invariably does, and shoot a Thursday 74 to put him too far back to make up the ground.

He's in the penultimate group on Thursday, going at 1:48 p.m. with Tom Kim and Sam Burns, so his Thursday struggles will be on full display in the ESPN window.  

Which I assume will be Topic A on Friday, the next time we'll see each other (my Thursday morning schedule does not allow for any Par-3 blogging).  Enjoy!

Masters Tuesday - The Dinner Heard 'Round The World Edition

I'm sure the listening devices have been installed and the cheeseburger sliders are at the ready....

Don't LIV On My Parade - It's really all anyone can focus on at this point.  Other than that little dinner, that is...

A question for all:  Was Greg Norman, the character actor currently playing the role of LIV Commissioner, actually present for the career of Greg Norman?  As a follow up, is he aware of the concept of irony?  Last question, is he on Eamon Lynch's payroll?  Because he's making it easy for Eamon to phone it in....

Because, he really needs to make Eamon work for it, though this is quite the lede sentence:

Greg Norman is hoping for revenge for being snubbed by the Masters.

And a short sentence at that, though two things obviously jump out.  The hunger for revenge has been on display since the 1990's, usually accompanied by a topless photo of the man.  But, perhaps of greater import, where is this snub from the Masters?  Yeah, I think he's missing the word "perceived", but whatever...

Norman, LIV Golf’s CEO, told The Daily Telegraph that if one of his golfers captures the Green Jacket, the other 17 will be ready to storm the 18th green.

“They’ve said that if one of them wins then the other 17 will hang around and be there to congratulate him around the 18th green,” Norman told the British newspaper. “Could you imagine what a scene that would be, all these players hugging the winner. You only see things like that in the Ryder Cup, although it’s happening in our events more and more.”

I'm betting that Phil will be handing out those overly-generous envelopes to the locker room attendants on Friday, so I'd be surprised if he's there on Sunday....

But isn't this an admission against interest?

“Funnily enough, I haven’t been invited,” said Norman, who lives in Palm Beach Gardens. “As a major winner I always was before, but they only sent me a grounds pass last year and nothing, zilch, this time around. I’m disappointed because it’s so petty but, of course, I’ll still be watching.”

Gee, and I'm just spitballin' here, subpoenas have a funny way of affecting people.  They can get so awfully touchy.... 

It's Norman and Augusta, and we can hardly expect Eamon Lynch to let that pass:

Among the many life lessons one might expect Greg Norman to have absorbed by age 68, the danger of prematurely planning victory parties at Augusta National ranks high. And yet the Great White Pilot Fish is eagerly anticipating celebrations this week at the Masters. Since any prospective festivities aren’t dependent on Norman closing, there’s a chance they might happen, though he won’t be joining since in these precincts he’s about as welcome as diarrhea in a space suit.

Why Eamon?  Did Greggy have issues closing at Augusta?  

Setting aside Norman’s unimpeachable authority on the power of goosebumps on Sunday at the

Masters, the “spirit” he presents as camaraderie could also be seen as churlish grandstanding, diminishing the peak of a man’s career in order to score points that his product can’t deliver on its merits. And it could happen.

That Greg Norman openly hopes to fashion a hollow victory for LIV from another man attaining his lifelong dream, that he is hating vicariously through others, is reason enough to hope that he experiences one last, gutting Masters disappointment.

Hard for Eamon to run up much of a score with this one, given its minute degree of difficulty, but our Sharkie just can't help himself, even when he should know better.

We are blessed with an Alan Shipnuck mailbag to muse upon, including this Q&A on this very topic:

Does LIV players making a scene on 18 if one of their players wins and putting attention on LIV upset ANGC and risk their players being invited back? @JMahal23

You should know better than to take Greg Norman’s gaseous emissions at face value. There isn’t going to be a scene at 18. Maybe one or two close friends of the winner would be on hand, which is fine. Now, it’s entirely possible if a LIV dude wins a bunch of his comrades will be waiting by scoring to give him bro-hugs, but that is a normal and acceptable practice.

That sounds about right.  And this does as well:

If a LIV player(s) is in contention on Sunday, what’s the coverage like? I know the networks have said it won’t influence their coverage…what say you? @kingchris0719

It’s the f’ing Masters—if a guy has a chance to win he will be all over the telecast. But expect the commentary to be sanitized. It will be about the player’s past performance in the majors, his biography, etc. with scant mention of LIV. And that’s fine.

Bob Harig takes on this existential question, though he spares a moment to put to bed one red herring that your humble blogger did as well:

The much-chided talking point that LIV Golf members are playing less, and thus happier, is a constant source of derision, even if is not exactly true in most cases.

With a 14-tournament LIV schedule, the potential for four major championships, a commitment to the Saudi International and potentially worldwide events, LIV golfers—with perhaps the notable exception of Patrick Reed—are not playing much less than they ever did while competing on the PGA Tour or DP World Tour.

But there is no denying they are playing far less heading into the Masters Tournament this week.

Do tell:

And that understandably leads to questions about their readiness to compete against peers whom most of them have not played against in months.

LIV golfers have competed in just three 54-hole events and the Saudi International going back to early February. Dustin Johnson, for example who missed the Saudi event with a back issue, has played just nine competitive rounds this year.

Scottie Scheffler, the defending Masters champion, has played six stroke-play events, winning the WM Phoenix Open and the Players Championship, and 24 competitive rounds. He also competed in the WGC-Dell Match Play, playing seven matches over five days.

More is not necessarily better, but competition certainly helps. It’s why players start eyeing the Masters in the winter and developing a game plan through the first three months of the year to be ready.

I continue to believe that the bigger issue is that LIV is a glorified Senior Tour, a place players go to avoid the grind.  That seems existentially incompatible with peak athletic performance, but....  Did you ever happen to take a statistics course?

Would a LIV podium completely invalidate the PGA Tour? @idiotinvestor7

In a word, no. Everyone is going to overreact one way or another based on how the LIV guys play, but one tournament is a very small sample size. At the end of the Open Championship in July, let’s look back and see what the LIVers have or have not done in the majors, and then we can try to ascertain if the limited schedule and small-field, no-cut ethos is hurting their chances at the major championships.

Except that, to be fair, the guys we're talking about this week haven't done much in those LIV events themselves.... 

I did find this an interesting take on Orlando:

A longtime golf columnist prepped for Masters week by going to a LIV Golf event. What did he think?

It doesn't seem to have gotten off to the best start:

Last weekend, the LIV folks were in Orlando to debut their Friday-through-Sunday brand of golf at Orange County National. The weather was nice and, on paper, it was just an hour away. On paper an hour, on the asphalt of today’s I-4 through Central Florida, another story. And once there, public parking was in a field of bush-hogged roots, soft sand and an occasional cactus plant.

“Don’t let the logistical failings of the Ops Team cloud your judgment of the day ahead,” became a quiet rallying cry modern customers reluctantly use now and then.

I'll bear that in mind....

Once through the gates — hell, even before you’re through the gates — differences between this and the entire history of tournament golf begin sounding off. The music isn’t overly loud, but plenty loud, and in keeping with the theme of a sports-world disruptor, it comes from that clubby, sometimes-techno, in-your-face catalog of sound designed to get the blood flowing.

It does, by the way.

Silly me, I thought it was the golf that was supposed to get you going.... But apparently they don't consider the golf sufficient to maintain the spectators' interest:

Thankfully, once the shotgun blasts (it sounds very similar to an air horn, by the way), the wall-to-wall music is turned down.

Down, not off.

Strangely, they allow it to intrude on their broadcast, at least it did the couple of times I tuned in.

Eventually, it should go without saying, it has to be about the golf, assuming there’s a future to this. And that’s where this guy’s senses unravel.

Someone mid-afternoon mentioned how the players not only seemed more relaxed than standard PGA Tour fare (nearly all were in shorts, by the way) but also less grim, less weighed down by golf’s ancient pressures. Happier, you could say.

Well, yeah. The LIV tournament norm is a $25 million total purse, with $4 million to the winner. Frankly, that can’t be from where all the positive mojo arises. Nope, the relaxed vibe springs from way south on the leaderboard, all the way down at 48th (and last) place, which pays $120,000.

And all you have to do is stay upright through Sunday afternoon, because there’s no 36-hole cut.

As I've been saying from Day One, if they're not grinding then I'm not watching.....And, in his rousing coda, this longtime golf writers sounds very much like your humble blogger:

As mentioned here time and time again, sooner or later, don’t the financiers have to look at each other and wonder what they’re getting for their billions? If this was designed as a form of sportswashing, as many critics insist, somebody forgot to order mops.

But even if you choose to ignore the politics of it all — as so many of us do in various facets of life — you need to enjoy the product if you’re going to devote any amount of allegiance.

It’s a big ol’ world with a whole bunch of varying tastes, and if the benefactors hang in there, maybe LIV will live on into the future, even if it fails this guy’s feel test.

After all, the music ain’t bad.

What are they getting for their money?   

Dinner For.....Six - Do they need any additional wait staff?  How about a 68-year old bouncer?

This seems unnecessary, I hope:

It is, at least until the real action starts on Thursday, the talk of ‘toonamint’ week so far. The

normally staid Champions Dinner, a traditional Tuesday evening gathering of those who have prevailed at Augusta National, will this year double as the place where Patrick Reed, Charl Schwartzel, Phil Mickelson, Dustin Johnson, Sergio Garcia and Bubba Watson, LIV players all, come face-to-face with fellow Masters champions who have remained faithful to the game’s more traditional circuits.

Given recent utterings from the likes of Garcia, Fred Couples and Gary Player, the potential for conflict is surely in the air. One who clearly thought so is Augusta National chairman, Fred Ridley. According to 1998 Masters champion Mark O’Meara, Ridley recently called every past winner to get an early feel for the mood in the two camps.

“I told Mr. Ridley when he called that everything is going to be fine,” says O'Meara, who last competed in the Masters in 2018. “I really believe that. My thoughts on the dinner are that golf will survive all of what is going on right now. Golf is bigger than all of this. Golf is fine. So my take is that the dinner will be fine. It will be about the Masters Tournament and [defending champion] Scottie Scheffler. Yes, not everyone in that room is necessarily super-tight, but it won’t be about guys who went to the LIV Tour, or guys who support the PGA Tour, or who has said this or that.”

Though this guy isn't quite as sanguine:

“It’s going to be interesting,” says the Welshman. “There will be some neutrals there, observers really, amongst the guys who have taken sides. But if anyone says anything it will be Phil Mickelson. Phil always says something, and he can blabber on. He’ll be the one to disturb things. Then again, there was Freddie [Couples] winding people up the other day. I wonder how much I could charge to put on a little badge and video the whole thing. As I say though, if anyone speaks up it will be Phil. He will be the one to disturb things. But I would hope no one will bring those issues into the room. I certainly won’t be saying anything.”

You would think Phil would show up sporting a muzzle, no?  If there's one guy that needs to limit his comment to, "Hi, nice to see you" it would be Lefty.

Alan had a slightly different prognosis, one that seems entirely credible:

If anyone was to make a LIV vs. PGA comment during the Champions Dinner to try and start something, who would you bet on it being? Maybe exclude Gary Player as the first obvious choice lol. #askalan @cdntac

Bubba! Not even out of malice, necessarily. But he’s so socially awkward, I could see Watson trying a joke that backfires badly. The thing about Bubba is that when he begins a sentence he rarely knows how it will end and he just keeps talking, so anything is possible.

And this:

Which player would you most like to interview five minutes after the Champions Dinner? @toddh_478

Fred Couples or Dustin Johnson, for the same reason: They don’t care enough to b.s. reporters and will just give it to you straight.

Ummm, Alan, Freddy has hardly been acting like a guy that doesn't care.... 

Udder Masters Stuff - Some Augusta-themed bits from that mailbag:

What storyline are you most enthused about going into Masters week? #AskAlan @AMungoven

1. Jeez, there are so many! Obviously a Tiger-Phil shootout on Sunday would top any list, but I’m trying to deal in reality here, so this would be my enthuse-o-meter:We get some clarity on who the best player in the world is in a showdown featuring some combination of Rory McIlroy, Scottie Scheffler, Jon Rahm, Justin Thomas and Cam Smith.
2. Rory finally wins the Masters, completing the career Grand Slam.
3. Sunday turns into the battle at Helm’s Deep, er, Amen Corner with a LIV antihero (think Brooks or PReed) versus a PGA Tour loyalist.
4. A likable first-time major champion breaks through. Xander Schauffele or Max Homa would do quite nicely.

Not a bad list, though Phil even being there on Sunday seems a stretch.  With all the rain in the forecast, this seems like now or never for Rory....

As for that lengthened hole:

If the 13th hole averages par or higher from the first two days, do they move the tees back up to last year’s for the last two rounds? @apindara

I’m afraid the scoring average might be down but in a boring way, as fewer players go for the green, taking the big number out of play. With today’s equipment, many pros don’t like to (or can’t!) draw their driver. I foresee a lot of bailouts into the pine straw. Or 3-woods off the tee, because it’s easier to shape that club, but that leaves a much longer shot in, especially if the rain comes and the course plays softer. Either way, it’s easy to imagine many more layups, essentially turning one of the world’s great par-5s into a 90-yard par-3. From that distance, to an expansive green, balls in the creek will be exceedingly rare, which means a lot of 4s and 5s but very few 6s and 7s…and precious few 3s.

It's not like there were a lot of balls in the water here.  

What holes at Augusta National are the most underappreciated in your opinion? @derrickq42

Five is a beast, with one of the toughest drives on the property and a wicked green. No one ever talks about 6 but it has a delightfully crazy putting surface, and when the pin is on the back shelf it’s a ridiculously small target that can lead to all sorts of fun chips and pitches. Fourteen has no bunkers or water, and tucked between two epic par-5s, it can feel like a letdown, but that might be the coolest green in North America and I love to watch all the geometry involved on approaches and recoveries. I love/hate 17: There’s seemingly no fairway and by Sunday afternoon the green is usually concrete, but again, the extremity makes it fun, especially after errant approach shots. Scott Hoch missed the ensuing putt so no one remembers it, but if you want to see one of the dirtiest shots in Masters history proceed to 2:29 of the telecast from the final round in 1989:

You can click through the link above if you're inclined to watch that video...  Let's just say that Scott Hoch's Augusta legacy involves a rhyme of his surname.  But I agree that No.. 5 is a beast, and No. 14 is oddly fascinating....

Would golf media have a coronary if on Sunday the winning golfer taunted his playing partner like Angel Reese taunted Caitlin Clark? Maybe pantomime putting on a green jacket after the winning putt drops? Which golfer (OK, other than Brooks) is most likely to do that? Also, higher finish: Cameron Young or Cameron Smith? @luke_peacock

It would be noisy, for sure, but just like the Reese-related blowback, the reaction would depend on the player. If Rory, golf’s white knight, did the taunting he would probably be celebrated for his leadership! Koepka is a solid choice for stirring the pot, but we all know Patrick Reed is the most likely candidate to go rogue, and he would be excoriated simply because he’s Patrick Reed. As for the Camerons, let’s see if the rain comes as forecast. If so, I’ll take Young. If not, Smith has to be the favorite on a firm, fast Augusta National.

It's just classless, but isn't that exactly what Norman was trying to provoke with his comments?

And this ripped from the headlines:

Is this the last year for Gary Player as an honorary starter? Does ANGC put him out to pasture? #AskAlan @joshcoley

It’s time. The embarrassment of last year—when Player’s son turned a celebration of Lee Elder into tacky guerrilla marketing— put the Black Knight on very thin ice, but remarkably, Player just blasted Augusta National for not making it easier for him to bring his grandsons to play the course. His tone-deafness is astonishing. Player has always been a loose cannon, but at 87 now, he is even more unpredictable. There is no upside left for the Masters to continue to give him a platform. Big Jack won’t miss him either. Nicklaus could have a year or two on the 1st tee without Player’s yapping and then gracefully exit. Which leads us to…

I don't see this happening, as much as it should.  There's only been one way of losing this gig historically, and that involves a funeral.... 

Once Jack and Gary pass on, who replaces them as honorary Masters starters? Tiger, Phil and Nick Faldo? Gentle Ben is a popular choice. Has Phil forfeited that honor by joining LIV? @LabLoverDE

Tom Watson and Ben Crenshaw are an appealing duo, and they could have a decade-long run. At that point Tiger and Phil would both be around 60 and they could take the mantle. By then, passions around LIV will have cooled and presumably Mickelson will have recouped some goodwill. Faldo has the résumé but not the love. If Watson or Crenshaw is unable to carry on, I think Bernhard Langer would get the nod ahead of Faldo, though he’ll probably still be winning Senior Tour events in five years and therefore not well-suited to a ceremonial role.

Crenshaw is an obvious answer, though wouldn't Ollie be a more popular choice than Langer?  

The Phil conundrum is real, but hard to fully envision until the LIV rebellion has been quashed.  I believe that he must be cast out from golf's polite society, but that's probably an argument best left for another day.   

Alan makes quite the has of this one:

Gary Player gave his major rankings — what are yours? @ZitiDoggsGolf

Oof, tough one. Let me try to puzzle this out. For venues, I would rate them: 1. Masters; 2. (Tie) U.S Open/Open; 4. PGA Championship. For historical importance: 1. U.S. Open; 2. Open; 3. Masters; 4. PGA. For modern-day buzz/prestige: 1. Masters; 2. Open; 3. U.S. Open; 4. PGA. For the feeling on the ground when you’re there: 1. Open; 2 (tie) U.S. Open/Masters; 4. PGA. Add it up and this is my ranking:

1. Open Championship/Masters (tie)

3. U.S. Open

4. PGA Championship

Can't we all just agree that the PGA is fourth in all measures, and ignore the rest?

The one point that should be made is that the size of the Masters field is disgraceful.  The field is no deeper than that for a 2024 designated event, and that tells us all we need to know about both.

Udder Alan Stuff -  A couple of bits not directly tied to this weeks little event:

Does the PGA Tour need to do something more innovative with the non-designated events? The Valero Texas Open made for grim TV, and it looked like it had very small galleries, which sponsors won’t be happy with. @EoinMurphyej1

It is the endless slog of 72-hole stroke-play events that made the Tour vulnerable for disruption by a new competitor. In the new bifurcated Tour, the non-designated events will certainly have to be more creative to generate any kind of interest. The two-man team event has been a home run for New Orleans, so clearly the players and fans are open to change. A jingoistic team event modeled on the International Crown is a no-brainer. The first Tour event that incorporates “wolf hammer” into the scoring will break Golf Twitter. Any and all creative thinking is encouraged. Unfortunately, the Tour’s bedrock rebuttal to LIV has been elevating 72 holes of stroke play into the be-all-end-all so I’m afraid we’re going to be stuck with more boring golf like the Texas Open.

I have no problem with Alan ragging on the Tour over format, the more so in the aftermath of blowing up the one match-play event.  That said, the problem is more existential than just formats....

The Tour has just informed us that eight events are super special,  which would be great if they were only staging those eight event.  But they will host 48-49 events, which means 40-41 events are of the non-special ilk, and each of those involves a sponsor and venue that need it to work.  The back story to this is that alpha dogs have decided that they shouldn't have to compete for their riches against the hoi polloi for their vast riches, which means that the Tour will be running only one event with both the big names and a full field.

Does that sound like a Tour that's worth your attention?  Maybe wolf hammer would help, though the problems seem more self-inflicted and fundamental than that which can be solved with just a silly gag...

Lastly a query about that terrific penis:

Why hasn’t Cantlay ever contended in a major? #AskAlan @brianros1

Have you ever listened to Patrick talk? He’s such a boring, straight-line personality and it’s reflected in his golf: He can hit the same shot over and over again with amazing precision. That is a good recipe for winning everyday Tour events but the more exacting setups at the major championships demand more artistry and a wider variety of shotmaking. That’s not Cantlay’s forte. He did make a nice run at the 2019 Masters: Starting six shots off the lead, he played the first 15 holes in 6-under, including an eagle, to give himself a chance. Of course, Cantlay then promptly bogeyed the next two holes and faded to 9th place. The right U.S. Open setup, or even certain PGA Championships, would seem to favor him, if he can figure out the metaphysical aspect of treating the majors like any other week.

That's why it's important to keep that field so small....  The world thinks Cantlay is great, but I haven't seen all that much evi9dence of that.

More tomorrow.  Be sure to check back in.

Weekend Wrap - Are You Ready to Rumble Edition

Yeah, I quite agree, the week in front of us is the far more interesting bit.  Though we did get that Saturday sneak preview...

Blame Canada - I hope he can live with himself after keeping these guys from a Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich:

At the 2019 Valero Texas Open, Corey Conners became the first Monday Qualifier to win on the PGA Tour in nine years.

Four years later, Conners is a winner on the PGA Tour once again, but this time without surviving the theatrics of a 6-for-1 playoff just to get into the field.

Conners shot a final-round, bogey-free 68 at TPC San Antonio Sunday to come from behind and win the 2023 Valero Texas Open by one stroke over Sam Stevens.

“I’ve drawn from some of the experience I had here and really happy with the way that I hit the ball and got myself in position,” Conners said after the round. “Just kept things simple, felt relaxed. It was certainly challenging and a battle out there, but just an amazing day and can’t believe it. It’s a relief that it’s over.”

The win for the Canadian, his second on the PGA Tour and at the event, ended any hope of a final bid to next week’s first major of the year at the Masters. Conners and Honda Classic winner Chris Kirk were the only players in the top 10 of the leaderboard who had already secured their spots for Augusta.

Sam Stevens, Patrick Rodgers and Sam Ryder not only have no tee times on Thursday, but have reinforced the feast or famine nature of Tour Live in the Age of LIV.  The only remaining drama will be whether they generated a discernible Nielsen rating, as well as whether they beat that other event in Orlando.

A Rose By Any Other Name... - I've good news for Ms. Zhang.  Those lady professionals will never be invited to Augusta National, so your long nightmare has ended....  Unless, of course, Rachel and Megha lure you back for your junior year.

But it was touch and go there:

Rose Zhang refused to quit.

With all the adversity she faced on Saturday at Augusta National, no one would’ve blamed her if she did. Her swing was out of sorts. There was a three-hour weather delay during the middle of the round. The best players in amateur golf had her in their sights. And she had the weight of expectations — from the outside and within — on her shoulders.

Despite it all, the Stanford sophomore stood tall and weathered it all, swing by gutsy swing, to emerge victorious at the Augusta National Women’s Amateur.

“To overcome everything,” said Zhang, who shot a final-round 76. “I’m just super grateful to be here.”

With the win, Zhang put an exclamation point on one of the most decorated amateur careers of all time.

Usually it's only the losers that go to this watery grave:

The back nine par-5s at Augusta National are glimmering with opportunity, yet rife with

catastrophe. Play them well, and birdies (and eagles) abound. Play them poorly, and your chance at glory can vanish. When Zhang played the 15th during the final round, it looked as though she would fall victim to the latter.

Clinging to a two-shot lead in the final pairing, Zhang put herself into a beautiful position off the tee. She had just over 230 yards into the green and, after debating with her father/caddie, Haibin, she opted to go for the green. 

As soon as the ball left the clubface, she knew she’d made a mistake. Her ball never threatened the putting surface, finishing in the water short of the hole.

“It wasn’t the smartest decision,” Zhang said.

Perhaps.  With a two-stroke lead at that point the lay-up made more sense, although that wedge in is no picnic...

It's a great event, but one that should be so much better if not for the pigheadedness of the Grand Poobahs.  Obviously the girls should play the entire event at AHGC, and the unnecessary cruelty of that cut line is hard to take given that cuts have been rendered passé by our betters.  But the black mark this event will always carry is the unnecessary destruction of the single most interesting women's event of the year....strike that, the single most historically important women's professional event.

Michael Bamberger makes an interesting point, though one I have been on both sides of:

Each year, when the women play Augusta National in the third and final round of the Augusta National Women’s Amateur, they play the course as its architects, Bobby Jones and Alister

MacKenzie, intended it to play. They play a course that makes sense in every way, a course we can relate to, a course that invites people to take up this bewildering and beautiful walking game, a course that tests all 14 clubs, some of them used in a variety of ways.

The way Tiger Woods played golf and used the tools of his trade, it was as if he carried 40 clubs. That’s why Sean Foley, Tiger’s former swing coach, says that Woods would have won twice as many majors had there never been an equipment revolution in the years since Woods turned pro, in 1996.

The equipment revolution, with the launching of the Titleist ProV1 as an elemental part of it, has changed the fundamental nature of the course for the world’s best male golfers, nearly all of them touring pros who spend most of their waking hours sorting through the problems golf presents.

That is a tiny but influential population of golfers.

Interesting accompanying photo. Prior to the first of the four installments, I had ventured a guess that we would find the ladies play on that back nine excruciatingly boring, as those two Par-5's are entertaining only to the extent that the guys are going for the green.  But in that inaugural event, the only two players drawing attention, Jennifer Kupcho and Maria Fassi, over-powered those holes much as the men do, with the former's eagle on No. 13 the critical moment.

The Tour Confidential panel spared a lone query for this event:

The No. 1-ranked amateur in the world, Rose Zhang, triumphed in a playoff at the Augusta National Women’s Amateur on Saturday, her latest victory in a young career filled with them. What impressed you about her play this week?

Colgan: I was at the ANWA in 2021 when Rose collapsed on No. 13 to lose the title, and thought we were in for a repeat performance Saturday when she made a mess of No. 15. The collapse never came, though she may have flirted with it, and now — with the ANWA, a Women’s Am, NCAA Championship and World No. 1 Amateur Ranking — she’s the most decorated amateur golfer this side of Jordan Spieth

Zak: She could have crumbled. Saturday wasn’t her day. And when her approach into 15 splashed, she could have completely given up. But her approaches into 16, 17 and 18 were all basically pin-high. She reset herself once she had blown the lead and then kept going. She’ll be in that position again somewhere down the road. The best players can play their way out of it.

Berhow: She won without her best stuff, which is what elite players find ways to do. She didn’t let her late mistake on 15 derail the tournament. She followed it with a great shot into 16 and played solid golf the rest of the way. Nothing flashy, but got it done. It’s funny to think about all she has accomplished now. I profiled Rose four years ago when she was one of the youngest players in this field. Her coach told me a story about when she was a junior she innocently asked him, “When am I going to win a trophy?” She’s got a lot of ‘em now!

She does and the NCAAs are in a little over a month.  After that, it's hard to see much for her to accomplish in the amateur game, though life on the big-girl tour can be a lonely existence.  And those Stanford girls do seem to enjoy being together, though you'd have to think she'll move up a weight class. 

Georgia On My Mind - Really, Gary?

'I helped make this tournament what it is' but Gary Player says he's sad he doesn't feel welcome at Augusta National

Is that why you keep pulling s**t like this?

See that guy seated, Gary?  He actually wasn't welcome back in the day, so it was very special of you and your Hunter-Bidenesque grifter son, to step all over his moment in the sun.

“After all I’ve contributed to the tournament and been an ambassador for them, I can’t go and have a practice round there with my three grandchildren without having to beg a member to play with us, and there’s always some excuse. It’s terribly, terribly sad,” Player told The Times.

“I’ve played my role: I’ve won it three times; I was in the top ten 15 times; I made the most number of cuts in a row ever (23), yet here we are struggling to get a round. If it wasn’t for the players, (Augusta National) would just be another golf course in Georgia.

“It’s just sad – and I put great emphasis on the word ‘sad’ – that Augusta (doesn’t) make you feel welcome in that regard because I helped make this tournament what it is.”

Perhaps they should, but when you say they don't make you feel welcome...

Come Thursday, Player will join Jack Nicklaus and Tom Watson as honorary starters ahead of the 2023 Masters, something he has done for more than a decade.

A times like this I'm sure you ask yourself the same question as I do, what would Eamon Lynch say?

Lynch: Fore please! Gary Player now making a fool of himself

More of a recurring theme, but still...Probably time to get out of Eamon's way:

Player’s grumbling won’t surprise Augusta National’s evasive members, who are presumably weary of lectures about everything from their improper weight to his pristine bowel movements. He is well-known as an insufferable braggart whose ceaseless self-promotion makes Donald Trump appear downright modest by comparison. To borrow Jimmy Breslin’s rapier twist on Rudolph Giuliani, Player is a small man in search of a balcony.

While he is the most persistent bellyacher rolling down Magnolia Drive this week, he is not the only one.

 Really?  What else you got?

Bryson DeChambeau has bemoaned Tiger Woods cutting off contact since the pseudoscientist decamped to LIV, not even acknowledging a birthday text message. Bubba Watson insisted there’s no bad blood between players and that any suggestion of such is media mischief, ignoring the fact that LIV has been scattering subpoenas like confetti at one of Greg Norman’s weddings. Joaquin Niemann clearly wasn’t cc’d on Bubba’s memo. He said LIV guys are motivated to perform because of the “hate” directed toward them by other players, a comment that illustrates how quickly the rot sets in when a man orbits Sergio Garcia.

But Eamon's just getting warmed up:

While his contemporaries Arnold Palmer and Jack Nicklaus were welcomed as fully-fledged members at Augusta National, Player remains an honorary member, a status conferred on all past Masters champions. If the club was hesitant to extend full privileges to a three-time winner, events have justified the caution.

Two years ago, his shiftless son Wayne sullied a first-tee tribute to Lee Elder, positioning a sleeve of golf balls he was pimping at just head height behind the wheelchair-bound honoree, right in the camera line. A couple years prior he was embroiled in an escapade over the selling of Masters access. Wayne is now unwelcome at the club, an exclusion that even the most ardent advocate for inclusion can cheer.

The son’s antics would have caused many a father stay home for the shame of it. This father has many attributes—not least his commendable charity work—but a sense of shame isn’t among them. Both his life story and career record show Player is a man not easily deterred, while his words show one not easily embarrassed. How else to explain the mix of narcissism and petulance underpinning his crack that Augusta National would be “just another golf course in Georgia” without guys like him?

Come to think of it, that Golf Saudi logo suits him quite well...

I assume my readers to be as alien to social media as their favorite blogger, but in that milieu this is quite the effective retort:

“I’ve never heard of you”
You follow me. 😂😂😂 https://t.co/g4axGhDQ7F

— Eamon Lynch (@eamonlynch) April 2, 2023

Heh!.  I'd have gone with "Your mother swims after troop ships", but yours is good too.

How's this for a "ripped from the headlines" bit?

Love at the Masters: Proposals over the years at the Augusta National

Oh, so not the Davis III kind?  This kind?

 Remember, kids, if you're down on a knee at ANGC, the green shirt is mandatory....

I didn't know proposing there was a thing, but it has to end better than this one, no?

She said yes, although the putative groom was unable to recall the actual question....

In his Quad post about that ANWA, Geoff had some early notes on the golf course:

• There was already a wet feel underfoot before Saturday’s storms blew through. It’s going to play long. The revelations you pay for!

• The greens were a bit firmer and faster than in past ANWA’s, likely in anticipation of the rain coming.

• The 15th lake bank has seen slightly different presentations over the years. , A very tight cut this year stood out after Antonia Malate’s final round 9 where, after the rain, two of her shots spun back into the pond upon landing into the middle of the green.

• Flora and fauna watchers should not get hopes up for massive splashes of color. Most of the on-course azaleas appear to have already peaked, but the white and pink dogwood are hanging in.

• Oh my is that new 13th tee far back! I’ll have some photos in Tuesday’s edition, but we have the first official MillerBrown shot

Geoff's previous post was on the lengthening of this hole, framed by this analysis of the hole (the premise of the Michael Bamberger item above):

In my opinion this thirteenth hole is one of the finest holes for competitive play I have ever seen. The player is first tempted to dare the creek on his tee shot by playing close to the corner, because if he attains this position he has not only shortened the hole but obtained a more level lie for his second shot. Driving out to the right not only increases the length of the second, but encounters an annoying sidehill lie. The second shot as well entails a momentous decision whether or not to try for the green. A player who dares the creek on either his first or second shot may very easily encounter a six or seven on this hole. Yet reward of successful, bold play is most enticing. BOBBY JONES

Obviously the hole will play tougher, though the tee shot might be easier:

In the grand scheme of life pressures, it’s not a big deal to lay up even though eagle 3’s or birdie 4’s become less likely.

“I think you’re going to see some guys really have to think hard about what that second shot entails,” says CBS on-course reporter Dottie Pepper, who also has good news for players based on watching the last two Masters from the ground.

“Over the last ten years or so as the golf ball has traveled farther, it has become one of those really difficult tee shots at Augusta National. Because so many players have lost the ball to the right through the dogleg or have had to take more risk down the lefthand side. So I’m anxious to see if there will in fact be more drives that find the fairway.”

Her CBS colleague Trevor Immelman is the 2008 Masters champion and new lead analyst this year. He endorsed Pepper’s view.

“You have about 300 yards to run through on a direct line now,” he said. “So it’s going to be putting the players right around the corner.”

Geoff makes the case that the set-up will be tricky perhaps, given the heavy rains and the limitations on tee boxes noted above.  The trick is to ensure that they mostly still go for it, just with more sense that it's actually a "momentous decision", which will require a few balls in the water one assumes.

The Tour Confidential panel is in Masters-Only (technically, Augusta-only) mode, and what might you think they'd use for their lede?  C'mon, that's an easy one:

Tiger Woods has a press conference scheduled for Tuesday at the Masters, so it’s safe to assume he’ll play as long as he’s healthy. It will be just his second start in nine months and first since his T45 at the Genesis Invitational in February. How well do you expect a 47-year-old Woods to play next week? Can he contend?

Josh Berhow: Yes, he can definitely contend. Can he win? I’m not sure his game is that sharp at this point, given his limited schedule. He was 47th here last year, but let’s remember that it was

his first start since his car accident and the fact that he even talked 72 holes — let alone made the cut — was surprising. He also, as expected, lost juice on the weekend and shot a pair of 78s to fall down the leaderboard. That’s pretty un-Tiger-like, even for the version we see these days. His Saturday 67 at Riviera earlier this year gave lots of reason for optimism.

James Colgan: IF Tiger’s healthy, yes he can contend, and, at this golf course, he can also win. He’s not the favorite to do that, nor is he expected to, but can he? Absolutely.

Josh Sens: It’s possible, of course, but a lot of things that are possible don’t happen. And it won’t happen here. He’ll make the weekend, and then, as they did last year, the hills will take their toll. I hope I’m wrong, and that we get a Sunday pairing of Tiger and Phil in the final group. Speaking of which: that would be an interesting line. I’m sure Vegas has it. Tiger vs. Phil for the week.

Sean Zak: If the bar for contention is Woods being within five shots when he turns to the back nine Sunday, no I don’t see it happening. I don’t think he’s capable of breaking par four-straight days, and that’s kind of what he’d need to do.

He certainly looked much stronger at The Riv, but four days still seems a big ask... 

Name your best storyline for this 87th Masters.

Berhow: Remember back in 2015 or 2016 when we loved to use the Big 3 or Big 4 title to explain pro golf’s hierarchy? I think we have a Big 3 now with Rory, Rahm and Scheffler, and I’m anxious to see which one claims the throne. They all need this win for different reasons: Rory needs it to complete the career grand slam, Rahm so his number of major titles (still just one) properly reflects his incredible skill set, and Scheffler — trying to go back-to-back — to leave no doubt he’s the dude.

Colgan: The Georgia Peach Ice Cream Sandwich is BACK!!!!! That’s both the biggest AND the best storyline here. Too inside baseball? Ok — I’ll zoom out a little further. The first LIV-PGA Tour war taking place at Augusta National ain’t half-bad.

Sens: Can Bernhard Langer reach the lengthened 13th in two? Nah. It’s the LIV subplot for sure. A reprise of Reed and Rory? A Tiger/Phil pairing? The entire event is too polite for the tensions to play out in the open, but we know they exist among some players, and plenty of people will be watching through a Tour vs. LIV lens. Among other things, it will be a kind of Rorschach test: everyone looking at the same thing and drawing different conclusions about the two tours. But particularly about the prominent LIV players and whether they have lost their edge, etc.

Zak: The boys above have covered it all!

Their edge?  Pretty sure they've lost their minds....

How about an underrated storyline no one is talking about?

Berhow: Cam Smith has seemingly been destined to win a Masters. He’s a great ball-striker and superb putter, which is what you need to do well at Augusta National. He’s had four top 10s in his five starts there (including his last three), but the Champion Golfer of the Year has been flying under the radar since he went to LIV. Now he’s back in the spotlight again. How will he perform?

Colgan: Love that, Josh. Cam Smith is a deeply underrated storyline. So is, strangely enough, Tiger Woods. The early stages of last year’s tournament were consumed by Tigermania, but this year feels notably less hyped.

Sens: Phil’s return after his self-imposed exile last year. I don’t think anyone is expecting him to contend, but this was always his happy place. And he has said he thinks he still has a major or two in him. How will he perform since becoming the poster child for golf’s polarization? I think an MRI would reveal a sizable chip on his shoulder heading into this year’s Masters. I’m curious to see how he carries himself, not to mention how he scores.

Zak: Brooks Koepka suddenly looks like he might be Brooks Koepka again. I think there’s a short list of LIV players who could actually strike fear in the rest of the field, and he’s on it, alongside Dustin Johnson and Cam Smith.

Obviously, if you're looking to peg a LIVster to piss off the world and contend, Cam is gonna be your guy.  But if we're looking for underrated stories, his performance on LIV qualifies, as his line of T5, T24 and T26 against those loaded fields seems off....He's still Cam Smith and we know he can play this track, but still curious.  

There are plenty favorites to win this week, among them defending champion Scottie Scheffler, Jon Rahm and Rory McIlroy. Are you taking that trio to win, or the field?

Berhow: I’m taking that trio, but I like Scottie the best out of that group. Remember he won by three last year — and that was with a four-putt on the 72nd hole. He hasn’t slowed down since.

Colgan: Give me the field! Those three are all awesome, they’ve all played great this year, but this is the hardest tournament in golf to win — and 66 percent of that grouping has never done it!

Sens: Agreed, James. If it’s a straight-up bet, you take the field. Smith. Spieth. Cantlay. Schauffele. DJ. Burns. Im. On and on. Of course, any of the big three could easily step on their throats. But there are just too many other guys capable of doing it to dismiss their numbers.

Zak: No one is talking about Collin Morikawa. That will feel crazy in one week when he’s wearing a new jacket.

As Jay Monahan told me, you always take the field.  Obviously Tiger, Rory and all those terrific peni agree, which is why in their future money grabs they've dispensed with the field....

Name the major-less player who has the best chance to grab their first this week.

Berhow: We’ve been jotting down names like Schauffele, Cantlay and Hovland in this space for a couple of years now, and here we are again. Here’s a couple more. Sam Burns missed two straight cuts at the Genesis and Bay Hill, but he’s found his form lately and is coming off that Match Play win. He’s missed the cut here in his only appearance. One major-less player I’m looking forward to seeing is Max Homa. He’s taken his game to another level this year but is still looking for his first top 10 in a major. So, long answer longer: I’ll take Xander.

Colgan: Xander!! Unless we’re counting the Olympics as a major, at which point I’ll take Tony Finau (so long as his ankle stays intact at the Par-3 on Wednesday).

Sens: Hard to argue with any of the above. But I’ll go with Sungjae Im. Two top 10s in three tries. Augusta suits him, and he now has enough rounds under his belt to meet the ‘course knowledge’ requirements.

Zak: Max Homa is going to flip a major switch at some point. It’s the most logical next step in his career. Why not this week?

I'm reacting to the Tour nonsense by hoping that Xander and Patrick remain major-less....   I know Max is a social media darling, but we're talking the Masters here, not PIP.

Eighteen LIV Golf members are in this Masters, and those same players have played just three LIV events this calendar year. The lighter schedule was attractive to some of the players who went to LIV, but now with the Masters here, could it leave some of these guys rusty due to less reps?

Berhow: Maybe, but as pro golfers I like to think they know what’s best for their games, which means they’ll put in the work with teachers, on the range or on the course on their own time. Maybe they can’t simulate that clutch-time experience you get competing in a tournament as often, but if they’ve made it this far in golf they’ve been doing that their whole lives already. I think it helps them coming off a tournament this past weekend.

Colgan: Absolutely yes. We haven’t seen or heard a relevant moment from a LIV player since the Open Championship. That’s hugely significant as it relates to “peaking at the right time,” as we hear so many golfers talk about doing.

Sens: No doubt. I think this is one of the more interesting elements of this year’s Masters. But I also think the dynamics stand to affect different players differently. Cam Smith has never been known as a grinder. Maybe the chill schedule of late doesn’t hurt him at all. Ditto Dustin Johnson. And we’ve seen how negative energy tends to bring Patrick Reed to life. The consensus seems to be that most LIV guys are going to be non-factors. Maybe those doubter vibes will have a Jor-el-under-a-yellow-sun effect on Reed. Who knows. Watching all of this will be part of the fun.

Zak: I think playing the week before is more of an asset for LIV guys than we think. There’s no sitting at home. When one or more of them play well this week, they’ll acknowledge it, too.

What a muddle question.... They're not really playing less on LIV which features a 14-event schedule, very similar to what the top guys play on the legacy tour.  It's true that there have only been three to date, but two have been in the last three weeks, so rust isn't really the issue.

The argument is over the events themselves, as beating up on a bunch of seniors doesn't seem the optimal way for a guy to hone his game.  That said, it's a world of small sample sizes and these guys have claimed victim status, so who knows what might happen beginning Thursday.

Lastly, click your shoes together and repeat after me, "There's no place like gnome":

The local paper in Augusta published a short story about the crazy long line that formed to get into the merchandise center at Augusta National shortly after the gates opened on Saturday. That customers would immediately flock to the gift shop is not that surprising given it was the first day it was open to the public, and well, buying Masters swag is its own tradition unlike any other.

What might be surprising, however, is the item that the story noted was of highest demand. It’s not a hat or a polo shirt or a pin flag. It was a Masters-themed patron gnome.

 It's a stunner, for sure:

The consummate patron. #BringYourBest pic.twitter.com/NRui75slSY

— The Masters (@TheMasters) March 25, 2023

But it's not exactly a stocking stuffer at current prices:

Suffice it to say, the gnome is a bit of an acquired taste.

“The first time I saw him, I was like, ‘Is that it?’” Hershey said. “But he’s growing on me. I think they’re amazing.”

The full-size gnomes retail for $49.50, the smaller versions for $29.50, but to judge their true value you might want to hop on eBay and see just what these guys are going for on the open market. As of Sunday morning, there were 113 listings, mostly of the 2023 model, with bidding prices ranging from $100 to upwards of $300. A "vintage" 2019 edition was going for $480. And a set of 2019, 2020 and 2021 offerings were set at $1,000 or best offer.

I'm pretty sure LIV will have their own version available at their next event.  It's perfect, since Phil and Patrick are pretty gnomish in real life.

We'll be flooding the zone as the week unfolds.  I took a look at the weather forecast which seems to feature thunderstorms most days.  Not sure what that bodes for viewing, but it has a voice whispering "Rory" in my ear.  Can you say, "Now or never"?

OK, I lied....one more amusing bit from this homage parody account:

Breaking; Augusta to offer alternative menu to LIV competitors at Tuesday's Masters bash. Majestic. pic.twitter.com/wSddtCR53W

— TweeterAlliss (Parody) (by Jove) (@TweeterAlliss) April 2, 2023