Your Friday Frisson - Mean Girls Edition

Much ado about Rory, Tiger and Webber, so I'll not pretend to care about the doings at Quail Hollow.  

It's Not You, It's Me - As you might have noticed, your humble blogger no longer has much use for these entitled brats.  Amusingly, many of said entitled brats agree with me, excluding themselves presumably.

You might have caught wind of Rory returning to the Board, curious given his recent resignation from said Board.  Yet, the latest is that Rory will not be returning to the front lines:

PGA Tour Policy Board member Webb Simpson had planned to step down from his role and have Rory McIlroy – who resigned from the board back in November – take his place. After some

“complicated” and “messy” discussions, Simpson will see out his term which ends in 2025 after players voiced their concerns about McIlroy returning.

“There’s been a lot of conversations,” McIlroy said with a coy smile, noting how the discussions partly reminded him of why he left the policy board in the first place. “It got pretty complicated and pretty messy and I think with the way it happened, I think it opened up some old wounds and scar tissue from things that have happened before.”

“There was a subset of people on the board that were maybe uncomfortable with me coming back on for some reason,” he added. “I think the best course of action is if, you know, there’s some people on there that aren’t comfortable with me coming back on, then I think Webb just stays on and sees out his term, and I think he’s gotten to a place where he’s comfortable with doing that and I just sort of keep doing what I’m doing. I put my hand up to help and it was — I wouldn’t say it was rejected, it was a complicated process to get through to put me back on there. So that’s all fine, no hard feelings and we’ll all move on.”

Hmmm, you know we'll have some fun with that "subset of people", but one wonders whether the plural is appropriate.

But we can only laugh at this from the Webber:

Simpson contradicted McIlroy no less than an hour later and denied any negative sentiment towards the world No. 2’s potential return to the board.

“I think the players on the board were very supportive of him being more involved, and in those conversations I think they all see the vital role he plays not only on the PGA Tour, but he’s a DP World Tour member and they’re such an important piece in the game of golf and our Tour,” said Simpson, who also noted he didn’t get any sense that McIlroy wasn’t welcomed. “So his perspective is tremendous to us. He’s a global player, always has been, so I just think his views are important, and the other guys feel the same.”

Yet he isn't returning to the Board, so perhaps Webb isn't being completely transparent here.

The first question you might ask is, why the heck did Rory resign in the first place?  Asking for a friend:

McIlroy, who has been on the front lines for the PGA Tour in its battle with LIV Golf, joined the board in 2022 and was supposed to serve out his term until the end of this year until he abruptly resigned late last fall. McIlroy was then replaced by Jordan Spieth via a board vote. After sticking up for the Tour for the better half of two years, his decision to bail on the board didn’t sit well with his colleagues.

“He was very clear that it was too much for him. He had business dealings, he has a kid, he wants to focus on his game. Trust me, I get it. But once you quit, you’re not getting back,” Kevin Streelman, a former member of the policy board who ran against McIlroy for Player Advisory Council chairman, told Golfweek. “I wouldn’t quit on something that you were elected to by your peers. To want back in is peculiar.”

Streel isn't Jewish and therefor may not be familiar with the term "Chutzpah", but if the shoe fits...

Of course we can't discuss this without letting Rory beat his chest:

“Golf and the PGA Tour has been so good to me over the years, I just feel like it’s my obligation or duty to try to give back and try to set the next generation of players up like we were set up by the previous generation,” McIlroy said of his reasoning to try and rejoin the board after stepping down. “I think there’s a responsibility with every generation to try to leave the Tour, leave the place that you’re playing in a bit of a better spot than it was before. That’s what it’s about.”

Rory is all abut the next generation of players, and he demonstrates by keeping them out of the Signature Events and slowing their growth in the game.  A pity I already used the Chutzpah bit.

Back to that subset, because the man in black will enter on cue:

One veteran pro, who asked for anonymity because of his limited status – “I’m begging for

starts,” he said – claimed that Simpson will remain on the board for the remainder of his term. The veteran pro said he asked board member Patrick Cantlay at the Zurich Classic about McIlroy’s potential return.

“I asked Cantlay, Is Rory back on the board? He said, No. But Patrick is really smart so I thought about how I phrased the question,” the veteran player recounted. “Maybe he was just answering based on this very moment. I said, Pat, I apologize, maybe I asked the wrong question. Did Webb step down? He said, Webb has not stepped down from the board. Then I went higher up and got the full story. Now, it does sound like things change daily out here, maybe hourly, so you never know.”

Cantlay and McIlroy had been at loggerheads during their time on the Board. In November, McIlroy told Paul Kimmage of The Independent, “My relationship with Cantlay is average at best. We don’t have a ton in common and see the world quite differently.” And that was the nicest thing McIlroy had to say about Cantlay, who also described him using a four-letter word for male genitalia.

the specific word Rory chose begins with a "D" and ends with a "K", though that's far less elegant than our Terrific Penis moniker we stole from Alan Shipnuck.  But it may well not be only Patrick, as this bit from Golf Digest indicates:

The McIlroy-Woods relationship, sources tell Golf Digest, has also soured over the past six months. It remains cordial, yet their different views on the future of professional golf has led to a

falling out of sorts. As for Spieth and McIlroy, McIlroy removed himself from a player text chain following Spieth’s comments at Pebble Beach (where Spieth said the tour doesn’t need PIF after the deal with SSG), leading to an hour-long chat between the two. “My thing was if I’m the original [potential] investor that thought that they were going to get this deal done back in July, and I’m hearing a board member say that we don’t really need them now, how are they going to think about that, what are they gonna feel about that?” McIlroy said. “They are still sitting out there with hundreds of billions of dollars, if not trillions, that they’re gonna pour it into sport. And I know what Jordan was saying. … But if I were PIF and I was hearing that coming from here, the day after doing this SSG deal, it wouldn’t have made me too happy, I guess?”

The tension remained at the Players Championship, where Spieth and McIlroy played together in the first two rounds and featured combative moments in the first round regarding two of McIlroy’s drops.

Rory's about face is quite startling, but the bigger issue to this observer is what he's allowed to be done to the Tour's rank and file through limited field money grabs, and he's all in on even more of the same.  

But see if your eyes don't well up here:

According to NBC Sports analyst Brad Faxon (who also serves as McIlroy’s putting coach from time to time), McIlroy regretted his decision “almost immediately.” Also, as McIlroy alluded to in his Zurich comments, talks between the PGA Tour and PIF had stalled. While McIlroy has not moved from his anti-LIV Golf stance, the Ulsterman has conceded that golf’s schism is unsustainable and PIF’s participation in professional golf is inevitable. For McIlroy, the most palliative of avenues forward is one where PIF’s investment is diverted to the tour, which would likely welcome reunification of a fractured sport. McIlroy presumably believed his return to the board helps bridge the current gap.

He seems to be overstating his own importance, as it seems at least two of the five (Cantlay, Spieth) are against a deal with PIF, and Tiger's opinions remains unclear.  I've been characterizing this as a hostile takeover of the Tour by the elite players, and now we see further schisms among those elites.  So, buckle up, it should be a wild ride.

Update: But whatya know, before I can go to press, a bone is thrown:

Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy, Adam Scott named to PGA Tour, Saudi PIF negotiating team

The PGA Tour has appointed Tiger Woods, Rory McIlroy and Adam Scott as player

representatives for potential negotiations with Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund as the two sides look to see if there’s an opportunity to work together inside the newly formed, for-profit PGA Tour Enterprises.

The news, first reported by Doug Ferguson of the Associated Press, comes amid drama with McIlroy’s failed bid to return to the tour’s policy board. Previously it was reported that Woods would be the lone player on this team, but after his first round at the Wells Fargo Championship, McIlroy told the assembled media he and Scott also would be involved in the discussions. The tour soon sent a press release confirming the news.

Woods, McIlroy and Scott will be on a “transaction subcommittee” for PGA Tour Enterprises. This team will hold discussions with PIF should the Saudi wealth fund ultimately join the Strategic Sports Group as equity investors. Woods was named as a sixth player director for the PGA Tour Policy Board last summer, his position the result of a petition from tour players seeking new governance and transparency measures with the tour following the surprise June 6 framework agreement with PIF. Unlike other player directors, Woods’ role does not have a term limit. Woods was additionally announced as vice chairman of the PGA Tour Enterprises board earlier this year.

Joining Woods, Scott and McIlroy on this transaction team are PGA Tour commissioner Jay Monahan, John W. Henry of Fenway Sports Group (one of the primary investors in SSG), board chairman and Valero CEO Joe Gorder and former tour player Joe Ogilvie, who was appointed as a player director liaison after campaigning to advocate for players during the schism.

Am I ever relieved that Rory still has a seat at the cool kids table, though I suspect he may be a probationary cool kid.

The surprise on this negotiating team might be John Henry, given that the Saudis no doubt thought they'd be the only ones sufficiently stupid motivated to fund this hot mess.

It's Not You, It's Me, Part II - You've heard of the special exemptions into the PGA Championship, most of which were along these lines:

PGA Championship 2024: Numerous LIV Golf players receive invites into PGA Championship field, minus one glaring omission

The guy hasn't won a thing since 2010, so I didn't find it so very glaring to begin with. That said, I don't know how the narrative of a snub came about, though it does bear all the distinguishing characteristics of Russian disinformation.  The reality is way less controversial:

But now, thanks to the AP’s Doug Ferguson, we may have some insight into why Oosthuizen won’t be at Valhalla along with his fellow LIV compatriots.

Tuesday afternoon, Ferguson tweeted, “Turns out PGA offered Oosthuizen an invitation. He turned it down because of personal commitments. Not sure what those were.”

An Emily Litella moment.  Though it remains curious that he won't jump on another major playing opportunity...

The Bounce - Tiger and Rory are linked in one more way, their wins at the forthcoming PGA Championship venue.  Joel Beall does a deep dive into this enduring mystery:

Was Tiger Woods’ mysterious bounce at the 2000 PGA Championship caused by fan interference? Investigating one of golf’s greatest conspiracy theories

In case you don't remember:

It was odd, and the announcing crew had no idea what happened.  Here's the take from the booth:

Venturi: "What happened with that ball?"

Nantz: "Do you think someone either kicked it or threw it back in that direction?"

Venturi: "I don't know. It, it didn't ..."

Nantz: "It didn't react naturally, did it?"

Venturi: "No, it didn't at all."

Nantz: "I sure hope someone didn't slap it back."

Venturi: "It could have been someone jumped up and hit it with their hand."

It's a fun piece because he finds two guys on social media with very specific testimony as to what happened to Tiger's tee ball, but of course those recollections are mutually exclusive.  Fun times.

Good one, Joel, now do Rory in 2014.  Specifically, how his rush to finish in the gloaming almost  resulted in disaster, as his hurried tee shot almost found the water.

Geekery, Exposed - Your humble blogger doesn't get out much, but I've got something to amuse me.  I've long been in search of this, long out of print and available only for in excess of $1,000 until now:

It's the definitive biography of Charles Blair Macdonald by George Bahto.  Macdonald is widely known as the Father of American Golf Architecture, although there's an arguable case that he should be considered the Father of American Golf.  But it's a twofer, as the author himself is also a great story.  A dry cleaner, Bahto belonged to Knoll West, a Charles Banks design in New Jersey.  When the club lost its clubhouse in a fire, Bahto volunteered to recreate its history, and that process led him from Banks to Raynor and Macdonald, and this seminal work.  But not only did he become a golf literary presence, he boot-strapped himself into a golf design, role, collaborating with Gil Hanse on a restoration of Sleepy Hollow. 

The only downside?  This is a big, heavy coffee table book, not meant to sit on a human lap for extended periods, yet it will.  I know, first world problems... It's available for a reasonable sum because Tom Doak's Renaissance Golf has republished it, so a heads up to any similar golf nerds.

Have a great weekend and I'll see you on Monday.