Weekend Wrap - Non-Signature Hell Edition

Apologies for my unexpected absence late last week.  Things got a tad busier than expected, but one humongous item has been checked off your humble blogger's To-Do list, so we've got that going for us.

The Non-Signature Blues - The Faceplant Tour™ has come to the Lone Star State.... Heck, Lone Star was a good description of the field as well, and that lonely guy left town on Friday.  Egads, the events that matter haven't been very good, and the ones that don't have actually been filling the narrative gap.  Though this week wasn't a good look:

There wasn’t much evidence to suggest that Taylor Pendrith and Ben Kohles were on the verge of competing for their first career PGA Tour victory. But the two men wandered down the 72nd fairway late Sunday at the CJ Cup Byron Nelson with only a shot between them.

Kohles, the reigning Korn Ferry Tour Player of the Year, was one ahead. Pendrith, a Canadian playing in his 74th career PGA Tour event, knew he needed to make a birdie on the par 5, and perhaps even an eagle to get into a playoff at TPC Craig Ranch.

Until that point, the two had combined to miss 12 cuts this year—Kohles had one top-10 finish and Pendrith had two.

In a stunning turn of events, Kohles left a chip shot short of the green, failed to get up and down and eventually made the only bogey of the day on the 18th hole. Yes, his only bogey of the day, but THE only bogey of everyone in the field. Then, when Pendrith two-putted from 40 feet, he replaced the one-shot deficit with a one-shot victory.

"I feel for Ben," Pendrith said. "He played really, really good today, especially down the stretch birdieing 16, 17. I've been on the other side of it a couple times and it sucks, but it's golf. It's a hard game.

"Obviously I'm thrilled to birdie the last and get it done. But feel for him."

That sound you hear is Lord Byron spinning in his grave.... The CJ folks have been credited with keeping the Nelson name in the events moniker, though his heirs might intervene legally to force a disassociation.

When the Yankee game ended, and we could argue which of the two porting events ended on the weirder note, I turned on the golf while sitting in front of the fire reading my book during commercials.  Well, the commercial load is so overwhelming that many pages were turned, and then pages were being turned after CBS (and quite the announcing C-Team as well) came back on air.

Happy for Pendrith, who's been plowing this field for a long time and has a home game Prez Cup to use as motivation.  But where was Adam Hadwin when a Canuck wins and we're ready for some football?  More importantly, where was Jessica Hadwin when we need something to relieve the dreariness.

As for Kohles, he's no spring chicken, and I certainly know the feeling of that moment, when all you have to do is take the club back to win..... They say that that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger, though they've been known to lie.

Him Again - he started the week whining about his inability to get the ball in the hole, but unless LIV is now allowing gimmes:

Brooks Koepka wins LIV Golf event in lead up to PGA Championship title defense

One of golf’s most dominant major performers is heating up — and at just the right time.

Brooks Koepka won LIV Golf Singapore on Sunday, firing a final-round three-under 68 to finish

15 under, two strokes ahead of Cameron Smith and Marc Leishman.

It’s Koepka’s fourth LIV title, the most of any player. As for his next start? The 2024 PGA Championship, where Koepka is the defending champion, starts in just 11 days.

“It’s all starting to come around,” Koepka said. “I’ve put in a lot of work. I feel like on the golf course, off the golf course, it’s been a good two weeks, to say the least. Take a week off and then grinding pretty hard with [coach] Claude [Harmon III] over the last few days, I thought that was very important. Kind of started to see it turn maybe Wednesday, Thursday of Adelaide, so to see it pay off here is huge.”

I now, since when do I cover LIV events?  It's just this guy ahead of a PGA that's newsworthy, though I may have to take a shower after finishing the post.  But see if this makes you laugh?

It was also Koepka’s first victory with both his wife, Jena, and their son, Crew, on-site. Crew was born in July 2023.

Crew?  Has a kid ever sued his parents for the emotional trauma of their name?   Stay tuned.

The Tour Confidential panel has some insights of limited depth:

Brooks Koepka won LIV Golf Singapore to become the league’s first player to four wins. But, more importantly, he seems to be peaking just in time for his PGA Championship

defense at Valhalla that begins on May 16. Is an in-form Koepka the biggest major threat to World No. 1 Scottie Scheffler?

Josh Berhow: I’ll give a confident Koepka the slight edge over a sharp Jon Rahm. And you know what? It would be really nice to have peak Koepka clicking at the PGA Championship, because we need a little competition for our World No. 1 to make it more interesting. I think Brooks is the best guy to do it. Scheffler and his wife are expecting their first child any day, so that could affect his PGA plans, but schedule-wise it should work out and he should be able to play.

Alan Bastable: Koepka said he felt “embarrassed” after his poor showing at the Masters; he also said he apologized to his team. That week really got to him so I think there’s little to zero chance of that happening to him again at Valhalla. He’s too prideful a player to record back-to-back clunkers at the majors. And now that his game appears back in form? Watch out! I don’t know if he’s the most dangerous threat to Scheffler, but I don’t see anyone more dangerous. As Koepka said after his win Sunday, “the big thing that kind of separates me is my ability to lock in and go someplace where I think a lot of guys can’t go.”

Ryan Barath: I still believe Scottie has the edge, but when it comes to competition I feel there is something to playing against someone you don’t see every week. With that in mind, it could be a mental test for Scottie if Brooks comes out firing on Thursday and Friday come PGA week.

Nick Dimengo: I think so. Brooks knows how to win on the biggest stage (especially at the PGA), and he’s always said his career will be measured in majors. There are others capable, but Brooks vs. Scottie just has so much appeal that I think (hope?) the golf gods make that a rivalry for fans.

That a guy with five pelts is good at golf should surprise no one, though they keep trying to frame it as a mano-a-mano thing, when Scottie might not even be there (and certainly will not have played any recent competitive golf).

Meanwhile that Rahm guy finished T10, six strokes off the lead, though he did nose out Anthony Kim, who finished a mere 21 strokes off the pace.  Seems like his Kim's game is rounding into form, no?  I've always found that best way to avoid being called a carnival sideshow is avoid hiring the sword swallower, but apparently Greg and Yasir know better.

This will be a non-linear post, because what comes below was written Sunday, with the intention of filling in the Sunday results to lede.  But then the Great White Pilot Fish (H/T: Eamon Lynch) opened his mouth, and comedy ensues:

Greg Norman: ‘LIV Golf will be around long after his death’

Awfully sporting of him to try to cheer us up, but what's the irrelevant carnival barker trying to sel?

So when the Australian was asked about it during a Q&A with Bloomberg this week’s LIV Golf

event in Singapore, he was keen to detract from the question and focus instead on what Al-Rumayyan has told him about what lies ahead of his league.

Having somewhat triumphantly declared that “the LIV Golf juggernaut is still rolling on”, he added: “I’m just going to answer as the CEO of LIV. My boss told me LIV is not going to go anywhere.

“It will be well and truly in operation well past his death – and he’s a young guy.

“He’s asked me to just stay focused and deliver LIV. LIV is a standalone entity. He’s invested billions of dollars into this and we’re starting to see an ROI (return of investment) within this.”

It's a juggernaut!  Forgive me, but I need a moment here, mostly to wipe away the tears from laughing so damn hard....

But let's focus on the important stuff, to wit, whose death are we gloating over?  Norman seems to be pointing at Yasir, not something I recommend, but perhaps the headline write misunderstood (or had his own death fantasies).

But wait, there's more:

Norman also reiterated LIV’s plan to buy up golf courses, with each team getting its own host venue.

“Man United owns their stadium. Indian Premier League, they own their stadiums. NFL, they own their stadiums,” he said. “Think about LIV owning all their own golf courses, each team having a home venue and they host.

“And now you can build out around that. It’s not just a golf course. You bring in education, you bring in hospitality, you bring in real estate, you bring in merchandise, you bring in management, you bring in all these other different opportunities that the game of golf has to deliver to a community, to a region. We are going to be doing that.”

It's two mints in one.  Not just a fledgling golf league, it's a real estate play.  We'll just call it Del Boca Vista, Phase II (since, yanno, they'll need a different Roman numeral when they cave and go to 72 holes).  I'm trying to amuse you folks, but it's hard when they put me on just after the stand-up comedian (new world record for Seinfeld references, so we've got that going for us).

But wait, it gets funnier still, because this obvious issue is raised:

One factor that remains a sticking point for LIV Golf is broadcast rights. The best way to watch LIV at the moment is on YouTube – a largely untested platform when it comes to live sports – but Norman is happy he’s going in the right direction on that front.

“We are looking at that right now,” he said. “We are talking to corporations – I’m not going to give you the names of those corporations, of course – but we just did a great partnership with Google.

But bear with me as I move on from Seinfeld to another cultural touchstone and warn you to pay no attention to the man behind the curtain:

“But what is the definition of ‘tuning in’? Turning on the TV and saying, ‘OK, I’m going to watch the next four and a half hours’? That’s tuning in, right? But to an 18-year-old, to a 25-year-old, tuning in may be 12 seconds on the phone. ‘Let me see this, then we’ll go back and do that, and then I’ll come back over here and do another 14 seconds on this.’

“That, to me, is ‘tuning in’. That to me is a market that’s enormously wealthy, and enormously influential in the direction we’re going.”

Yeah, that's the ticket!   Good luck monetizing an 18-year old allocating 12 seconds to see how many millions of shots Anthony Kim is behind the leaders.... But guys, give it for me, as Seinfeld, The Wizard of Oz and Nathan Thurm references in responses to one item is a good day's work, no?

But stay with me please, because we haven't peaked yet.  Because our favorite nihilist, quiet recently, is back with his white hot anger on display:

Our hero just gave Fred Ridley the middle finger...  Nice set of majors you have.  Sure would be a shame if anything happened to them.

As you'll see below, he's got Talor Gooch on board, but I'm not liking his chances of convincing guys like Koepka and Rahm to leave their legacies behind for the glory of Yasir Al-Rumayyan.  But Phil is the 11th highest compensated athlete of all time, yet still seethes this white-hot anger at his treatment.  His attempts to destroy the PGA Tour have left him in golf purgatory, so it makes perfect sense to try to destroy the only places he's still welcome.

Should be quite the awkward locker room at Valhalla, no?  How about a Tiger-Phil pairing for Thursday-Friday?

U.S. Open Stuff - This you've heard by now:

U.S. Open 2024: Tiger Woods accepts special exemption to compete at Pinehurst

Though the lede has me in mea culpa mode:

One of the most obvious pieces of expected golf news became official on Thursday as Tiger Woods received a special exemption into the 2024 U.S. Open.

I'm sorry, were you expecting that I'm capable of counting to five? I thought he was good through 2024, but the first of his five year exemption for winning the 2019 Masters was used in, checking calendar, 2019.  Because April comes before June.

The 15-time major champ's invite—and acceptance—was announced by the USGA in a press release.

"The U.S. Open, our national championship, is a truly special event for our game and one that has helped define my career,” Woods said in the release. "I’m honored to receive this exemption and could not be more excited for the opportunity to compete in this year’s U.S. Open, especially at Pinehurst, a venue that means so much to the game."

Woods has lifetime exemptions into the Masters and PGA Championship as a past champion, and can play in the Open Championship until he is 60. Winning the U.S. Open, however, only comes with a 10-year exemption. And Tiger's five-year exemption into the U.S. Open for winning the 2019 Masters expired last year.

This special exemption is an especially special case, one I can't think of a precedent for.  Many such USGA exemptions have gone to players that retained far less of their prior games, it's just that Tiger seemingly can't walk four days.  

It just troubles me to take a spot in the field from the next guy up if Tiger is going to WD after 36 holes, or even if he hobbles through as he did at Augusta.  Especially at a time when some 500-600 playing opportunities in big-money PGA Tour events have been discarded to satisfy the gods of exhibition golf, a move orchestrated by, checking notes, Tiger Woods.

How are we feeling about the LIVsters these days?  Well, mixed at best, but at least some of them want to compete at the highest levels:

U.S. Open qualifying is just around the corner, and LIV Golf players were asked about their plans ahead of this week’s event in Singapore.

During a Smash GC press conference featuring captain Brooks Koepka and his teammates Jason Kokrak, Graeme McDowell and Talor Gooch, both McDowell and Kokrak revealed they were playing in qualifiers for both the U.S. Open at Pinehurst (June 13-16) and Open Championship at Royal Troon (July 18-21).

“I personally am. Doing the U.S. Open in Columbus and then the Open in Manchester,” said Kokrak. “I plan on playing both of them.”

“Yeah, I’m the same. I’ve entered for both qualifiers. I think I’m in Florida Monday of Houston and then just south of London the Tuesday of the International Series Morocco, which I’ll go and play right after the Open qualifying series,” added McDowell. “Obviously I’ll be pulling hard (Koepka) in a couple weeks’ time (at the PGA Championship) but obviously trying to get into a couple majors myself.”

Good for them.  I don't like that they turned their back on the Tour that made them fabulously wealthy, but at least they're putting it on the line.  Similar props to Joaquin Niemann, who played in Australia and elsewhere last year, and grabbed a Masters invite for his efforts.

But if I asked you to name the biggest LIV a8888e, who would you nominate?  I know, so many deserving candidates and it's an honor just to be nominated.  But submitted for your approval is the guy that might just irk me the most, largely because he's done so little in the game:

Talor Gooch is a victim of the times. Just don’t pity him

I don't, but thanks for asking.

It’s too bad Talor Gooch will not be at the U.S. Open in June. Nor the Open Championship in

July. Many of his LIV Golf cronies will be at one of them, if not both. And many others are trying to be at one of them, if not both, throwing their names into the rings of a qualifying series. Gooch will not be there because he’s not entering qualifying.

Now, it’s possible that he’s too busy. That the slew of final qualifying courses and dates are too far from wherever he’ll be, and too close to whichever plans he has. Perhaps he has weddings to attend or important family matters to tend to. Or that he wants a break. Or…maybe he’s still annoyed that he didn’t get invited to the U.S. Open last year, after he had won consecutive LIV events and was unquestionably one of the 25 best golfers on the planet.

On Thursday in Singapore, where Gooch is playing this week, he and his not-yet-qualified Smash GC teammates — Graeme McDowell and Jason Kokrak — were asked if they intend to try their way into the final two majors of the year. Kokrak has entered both, and will fit those qualifying trips (Columbus, Ohio and Liverpool) into an already busy summer. McDowell is playing the Jupiter, Fla. qualifier on the Monday of a LIV week and will even compete outside London for an Open bid on the Tuesday of a week where he’ll be competing in Morocco. They’re up for the challenge.

Gooch spoke last on the matter, and offered three words:

“I am not.”

Why is it too bad?

There isn't a LIVster that's been whinier, and he simply doesn't have the resume to make him relevant.  If he can't be bothered playing his way in, then he's telling us all we need to know about him.

But I did like that "maybe he's too busy", because I can think of a weekend in June and one in July where his calendar is clear.  Sure, it takes, effort but when Graeme McDowell can do it, you look pretty silly throwing a hissy fit.

Seriously, see if you don't find him a willful child that needed a spot of parental discupline:

That doesn’t tell you everything — though Kokrak choking down laughter and Gooch’s delivery tells you a bit — but it pushes us into a similar position as last year. Where Gooch is shunning the meritocratic path so many others are taking. Thirty-five of his LIV brethren, according to Sports Illustrated. That’s entirely his right, but you don’t have to feel sorry for him. He believes his golf has been good enough to merit invites outside the norm, in much the same way he believed his PGA Tour record merited getting to play both warring tours back in 2022.

Court documents revealed that Gooch had been warned multiple times by the PGA Tour that he would be suspended if he played a LIV Golf tournament. Weeks after he did so, at LIV’s debut event, he admitted he didn’t think the PGA Tour would actually do it. That they’d actually suspend him. When he tempted that fate, he found out that rules are rules. He wasn’t necessarily wrong for making the choices he did. But he was wrong for expecting the status quo to alter its form in his favor.

It was the first of what became a trend — Gooch trying to will his way into access without acknowledging there has always been clear consequences awaiting each of his decisions. Recall that he also requested a temporary restraining order against the Tour for entry into the FedEx Cup playoffs, for which he had secured enough points to qualify, had he been eligible. It was a fair argument to make, but a federal judge found it to be a losing one.

Fair?  You know what many people would consider to be fair?  Abiding by the rules of your Tour and accepting the consequences of your decisions, but I won't be holding my breath.

As I understand his argument, the case for Talor Gooch being in the U.S. Open is that Talor Gooch thinks he belongs in the Open.  I beg to differ, but perhaps I'm being unfair.

Tiger Redux -  At his Quad newsletter, Geoff does a deep dive on that Bethpage Ryder Cup captaincy,, and the unexplained delay.  

What’s Up With Tiger And The Ryder Cup Captaincy?

Barring an announcement next week, questions about the next Ryder Cup captain will be asked of PGA of America brass during PGA Championship week. Not ideal. But it beats questions about

whether they might sell the event or merge with the PGA Tour at the behest of the Strategic Sports Group.

The organization normally likes to have the Captaincy decision buttoned up by February after the previous Fall matches. But a PGA spokesperson tells The Quadrilateral there are no new updates on the decision timeline.

Tiger Woods is the first and obvious choice given his age, state of his career, role in shaping the current team structure, and ties to Bethpage Black as the 2002 U.S. Open champion there.

Good point about the calendar and avoiding awkward questions, though the man can just repeat this from his Masters presser:

Q. What's your current position regarding the Ryder Cup captaincy at Bethpage?

TIGER WOODS: Okay.

Q. What is it?

TIGER WOODS: We're still talking about it. (Smiling).

Q. Is it linked to how much you're going to play golf?

TIGER WOODS: It's something that Seth and I are going to sit back and talk about it after this event. I said I'm going to be busy for a couple weeks, so let me focus on getting through this week and hopefully getting another jacket, and then we can sit back and talk about it next week.

That follow up question is quite the howler, because Tiger doesn't play golf any longer....

But Geoff makes two points that point in opposite directions, the first I'll throw shade at:

One complication: due to his friendship with Adare Manor owner J.P. McManus, Woods may be more interested in the 2027 job.

I don't believe for a minute that Tiger would take a road game, given how the guys played in Paris and Rome.  He might earn a bit of your humble blogger's respect risking the "L", but my experience is that Tiger takes care of Tiger.  There's also the nagging issue of, if not Tiger....

On the team makeup side, the PGA of America is currently ranking eligible players and the selection criteria is unlikely to be changed by Woods since he’s been part of the task force “Task Force” Task Force shaping the current six-member committee Captain selection process.

There is also the matter of having no other remotely exciting candidates unless IBM’s Watson or an AI-infused hologram of Ben Hogan declares interest.

Geoff, a helpful hint.  Even though it's a different one, with the scars of 2014 still not fully healed, I wouldn't use quips that include "Watson".

This might be the more likely scenario:

Here’s guessing Woods is (understandably) running out the clock to reduce his number of media and sponsor obligations as long as possible. The PGA has been known to make Captain’s show up at everything including local bake sales. This time around they may not need the hard sell. Sales for Bethpage are reportedly robust, the U.S. is coming off a big loss that will have even casual fans intrigued, and the New York market needs no introduction to the Ryder Cup. There’s no good reason to promote the event until next year. Plus, Tiger knows there are no other plausible candidates once Phil Mickelson no longer was an option.

I couldn't blame him for wanting to limit the nonsense, but the delay isn't a great look.

Equity/Schmequity -  Peter Kaufman is an investment banker who has carved out a spot for himself in golf journalism, which should make him perfect for this topic.  But there seem to be some holes in his analysis of the Tour's recent equity grants, which surprised me:

What exactly is the PGA Tour proposing for its superstars, stars, also-rans and up-and-coming talent? And how effective will it this be in terms of warding off further LIV Golf/Public Investment Fund poaching? In essence, the money being pledged for the names of the game (think Tiger, Rory) is a reward for remaining loyal, although more effective than reward for loyalty is the promise of future riches.

There are two primary possibilities: One is that Strategic Sports Group, the private equity consortium that sent PGA Tour Enterprises a check in the neighborhood of $1.5 billion in late January, has earmarked those funds for the players in the form of equity shares, via various levels of accomplishment.

The other is closer to the truth as per the PGA Tour: the allocation of funds is based on projections over a period of time, meaning the money that will go to the players is not simply sitting there waiting for them to scoop it up. Rather, the SSG investment will be used to grow the business with the expectation that it will result in a hefty return for all involved — and allow someone like Tiger Woods, whose been earmarked to get $100 million or Rory McIlroy whose been reported to be getting $50 million — to cash out after eight years.

In other words, nothing is guaranteed.

Except that nobody, even those that confuse equity valuations with cash, have suggested the first possibility.  And, perhaps more importantly, no one has told us where the $1.5 billion will go, and Peter doesn't seem especially inquisitive.

Said differently, the players’ potential windfall will rise and fall with the success or failure of this for-profit entity. Therefore, no one can be certain of what value they might be receiving. It’s quite possible that after eight years, Woods’ haul could be worth considerably more than $100 million. But maybe not.

According to the Golf Channel, the equity “grants will be worth 50 percent of their value after four years, 75 percent after six years and 100 percent after eight years.” It’s not quite clear what anything will be worth, but it feels like the language is imprecise and that what is meant is that the vesting will occur over those periods of time.

That implies that the players can sell 50 percent of their interests after year four, 75 percent after year six and 100 percent after year eight.

I know how imperfect the disclosures are, but I don't think he has this right.  vesting means that ownership transfers (in this case, the players wouldn't own the stock until those dates), but that doesn't mean necessarily that they would be saleable.  In fact, it seems likely that sales would be limited to one party, PGA Tour Enterprises.  Remember, this is not a publicly traded company, so there will not be a market into which the players' shares can be sold.

But Peter does hit on one potentially negative consequence:

Golf Channel went on to say: “At each vesting benchmark players will be responsible to pay taxes on the grants.” That means that if a player keeps his interests through each vesting benchmark period, and does not sell, as these grants vest, the players have to pay taxes on interests they have not monetized.

A few more questions arise here: if the grants are linked to whatever value the new enterprise has, who would buy their interests? Another player? SSG? Is there a plan to take the new enterprise public?

This is an arcane area, and Golf Channel is hardly a subject matter expert, but SSG and the Tour have to know that a tax bill without a liquidity event would be a disaster, so one assumes we simply need more information here.  But we know their intention with this program:

It’s clear that the program is aimed at providing “Golden Handcuffs” — a business term meaning that it’s aimed at making it very unappealing for the player to leave for LIV or anything else. But how effective can this be? LIV offers cash up front, and perhaps more will be available a year or two down the road. A PGA Tour player is going to have to wait to get rewarded.

One is reminded of the wisdom of J. Wellington Wimpy, from the Popeye cartoons in the 1930s. Wimpy loved hamburgers, and mooched them often. His stock line: “I will gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.’’ The PGA Tour is offering to pay its players on Tuesday — eight years from now and with 100 percent risk of what the value might be then — which could well be effective if not for LIV offering to pay the players for the burger today, no need for an accountant to figure out what something is worth.

That bit about paying Tuesday for a hamburger today is a reference I've seen all over these interwebs, never realizing the august literary provenance involved.

A noted above, a tax bill without liquidity would be the polar opposite of Golden Handcuffs, it would be a LIV recruiting boondoggle. 

My sense is that $1.5 billion will be funding operating losses so, not only do they need the business to satisfy SSG's ROI requirement, but within four years they may need to create liquidity for these initial equity grants.  Curious given that the TV contracts are all locked down until 2030 at the earliest.  So, inquiring minds want to know, where will the cash come from?  Well, are you familiar with the greater fool theory? 

They Said It Wouldn't Last - A good partnership for sure, kind of a rebound success story:

One of the longest running player-caddie relationships has come to an end.

Mike “Fluff” Cowan and Jim Fuyrk have “amicably” parted ways, according to Golfweek. The

two have worked together for the past 25 years starting at the 1999 Masters, a run that included a win at the 2003 U.S. Open, a 2010 campaign that saw Furyk captured the FedEx Cup and PGA Tour Player of the year, and the 2021 U.S. Senior Open.

However, Furyk has been playing a limited schedule as of late due to injuries, while Cowan has picked up spot starts for PGA Tour player C.T. Pan. According to Golfweek’s Adam Schupak, Furyk encouraged Cowan to take on Pan’s bag full-time, jokingly threatening to fire him.

“It’s hard to part ways after 25 years,” Cowan told Golfweek. “Sometimes the right thing to do is staring you right in the face and you’ve got to have the guts to do it.”

Haven't seen much of these guys lately, but when I've seen Fluff lugging a staff bag, it's struck me as elder abuse.

That's it for today.  I've no clue as to my blogging schedule this week, so please avoid any FOMO and check back early and often.