Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Tuesday Topics

I'll be with you for an hour, then head over to the Harrison Public Library to perform my civic duty.  See if you notice any losses of continuity in the post below, or at least any that rise above the level of my typical word vomit.

Distance Learning - Isn't that what we used to call it back in the day?  Yanno, like back in March....

Aussie Mike Clayton doesn't pull any punches, as you'll see from this header:

Rein in the ball or prepare for bludgeon

Perhaps we should take a moment to ensure that we're on the same page, definition-wise.  Bludgeon can be used both as a noun and a verb, the former first:


1: a short stick that usually has one thick or loaded end and is used as a weapon

Sounds like an apt description of your basic, 460 cc driver, no?

And as a transitive verb:


1: to hit with heavy impact

2: to attack or overcome by aggressive argument : BULLY

An example of its correct usage would be, "Winged Foot was bludgeoned to death by Bryson."

Mike ledes with this George Thomas quote that sounds like it comes not merely from a different age, but from a different planet:

In one simple paragraph, George Thomas, one of the great early twentieth century American architects, encapsulated the essence of strategic golf.

“The strategy of the golf course is the soul of the game. The spirit of golf is to dare a hazard, and by negotiating it reap a reward while he who fears or declines the issue of the carry has a longer or harder shot for his second; yet the player who avoids the unwise effort gains advantage over one who tries for more than in him lies, or who fails under the test.”

The most fascinating courses don’t necessarily need to be the most difficult, spectacular, expensive or famous – just thought-provoking and enduringly interesting. Ideally, they should be charming too.

Strategy?  That might require a definition as well...

A key question for professional golf (a version of the game increasingly separated from the version played by the masses) is, “is brilliant, interesting design and the age-old concept of what constitutes strategy compatible with, and capable of, testing the best players in the game?”

“Increasingly not” is my not unreasonable conclusion.

Double negatives aside, I enjoy just hearing a guy like Clayts talk about strategy, though that accompanying photo above ought to be sepia-toned, given the feel of a bygone era:

Modern-day data gurus advise players that it’s simply not worth chasing angles or trying to hit down the edges of fairways. Maybe it isn’t, but the beauty and romance of a hole as wide as Royal Melbourne’s seventeenth or the ultimate seventeenth – the Road hole at St Andrews – is that the shot from one side of the fairway is noticeably different from a shot from the other.

Finding the correct side doesn’t always guarantee a good result. In the 1984 Open Championship, Tom Watson drove perfectly down the right, mis-clubbed, and from the perfect angle made a bogey. Ballesteros, playing ahead, drove far to the left in the rough, and from a terrible angle played the championship winning stroke on to the green with a six iron. As hard as the shot is from the right edge of Royal Melbourne’s seventeenth, the shot from the left of the Road Hole is immeasurably more nerve-racking and difficult, the penalties for missing noticeably more severe.

 As contrasted with the modern-day Touring Professional:

Bryson DeChambeau’s strategic analysis of Winged Foot told him that missing fairways wasn’t an impediment to winning as long as he missed on the correct side of the hole and he was far enough down to rip the ball onto the green from the rough with his short irons. It was a strategy brilliant in both concept and execution.

In trying to identify the straightest and most precise hitters, the USGA now risks finding something quite different. The days of trying to find another Ben Hogan are long gone. Driving the ball 320 yards with the accuracy of Hogan, the quintessential US Open golfer, is an impossibility if the fairways are less than thirty yards wide.

The administrators have the power to regulate the ball. Thus far, they have failed to do anything meaningful despite it being obvious for at least fifteen years that the present situation was where the game was headed. A generation from now, DeChambeau won’t be the outlier, he will be the norm. It doesn’t take much to imagine what Thomas, MacKenzie and Simpson might have made of it.

Just to be clear, Clayton is referencing a different Simpson entirely... Though I suspect both Simpsons would agree with this assessment:

Gil Hanse, Winged Foot’s consulting architect, charged with restoring AW Tillinghast’s famed and treacherous greens, might agree. Hanse watched DeChambeau’s opening 36 holes to witness whether he could pull off his unique strategy. It’s fair to say that he came away surprised, somewhat dismayed and impressed.

“It’s not a beautiful way to play golf. It’s not even shot making. It’s just kind of bludgeoning. I feel sad about the way golf is going. There are some arrows in the quiver if this style of golf renders architecture and strategy obsolete. But”, said Hanse, “it was impressive”.

 Yes, on both counts...

Related to this distance debate are these comments from TaylorMade majordomo David Abeles, which translated into English would be, "Nice game you've got there.  Sure would be a shame if anything were to happen to it", though he ledes reasonably enough:

“I have never seen a golfer – at any level – walk off the 18th green and say: ‘You know what,
I’ve decided not to play any more because this game is just too easy for me,’” he says. “If you can find somebody who has made that comment …

“There are a series of variables that are enhancing improvement in the game. We believe in improvement. We exist to help golfers at every level, play and enjoy the game. When you see game improvement, there is more energy, when there is more energy there is more participation. When there is more participation, we all win.

“Whatever decisions are made, they should be made in the spirit of more coming to the game and enjoying it. I do not believe making the game more difficult is a solution for our industry. It has become very clear to us you can address the highest level of tournament play in any way you choose, to adjust scoring.”

It's then that he drops his not-so-thinly-veiled threat:

“As a governing body you can choose to modify your rules in any way you feel acceptable,” Abeles says. “That’s ultimately their decision. The question is who is going to follow it? Right now, we can design and develop whatever we want as an authentic company. We play by the construct of the rules that have been created around the sport as relates to equipment and ball development. We believe that’s the right space to be in, in the spirit of the traditions of the game.

“But there is nobody prohibiting us from going and building a ball that goes further or a driver that does the same. We are working on advanced technologies all the time to do that. We have chosen not to do that [bring such products for sale] because we want to unify the sport and apply the same rules. If there was a rollback, we would have to draw real consideration as it relates to what we choose to bring to market.”

Not a good look, I'm thinking...  They don't teach about protection rackets in most MBA programs, and it's easy to see why.  

Whether he's right on the merits, is to me a more interesting question.  Are you familiar with the concept of regulatory capture?  Without going too deep into the long grass, the best example of this concept would be the cigarette industry settlement with the FDA.  Most people saw a huge settlement from the tobacco companies, but in reality it was a conspiracy between the large industry players and their regulator that served to preclude new entrants to the industry.

I'm not naïve enough to think that threats like Abeles' above aren't made, they're just usually not made quite so publicly...And perhaps most amusingly, these comments are quite genteel in comparison to those of his predecessor.

Strange Bedfellows - It's not like I'm easily shocked, but I still find this marriage a bit troubling.  Of course, his own nickname for himself is The Casino, so none of us should be surprised by this press release:

DraftKings to Make Debut at 2020 Masters with Bryson DeChambeau in Exclusive Multi-Year Deal

Collaboration with the World’s Sixth-Ranked Golfer Underscores Significance of Golf Within the Gaming Industry

BOSTON—November 2, 2020—Today, DraftKings announced an exclusive, multi-year relationship with Bryson DeChambeau, who will become the first active professional golfer to represent the digital sports entertainment and gaming company via an integrated brand, content, marketing, and VIP centric collaboration that will feature Bryson DeChambeau as the face of DraftKings golf.

And who among us wouldn't jump at the chance to be the public face of imposing a regressive tax on the poorest and most vulnerable members of our society?  You don't need to worry about me, Dear Reader, as you see I'm able to adapt to the Forthcoming Reign of Error of the Harris-Biden administration.... 

But wait, we've got more:

Bryson is currently ranked No. 6 in the Official World Golf Ranking and is coming off his first major championship at the U.S. Open in September, 2020. Starting with the 2020 Masters, the DraftKings logo will be featured on DeChambeau’s signature golf cap.

“Professional golf has been a key growth sport in both daily fantasy and sports betting, and our collaboration with Bryson DeChambeau is a notable new layer of mainstream brand exposure and fan experience,” said Jason Robins, co-founder and CEO, DraftKings. “As one of golf’s most promising athletes and the current U.S. Open champion, DraftKings is strategically aligning with winning athletes like Bryson who embody and embolden the competitive fire of our customers.”

Competitive fire, eh?  I'm pretty sure that's not how you spell "Gambling addiction".

At DraftKings, golf remains the fourth-most-popular sport for daily fantasy while golf sportsbook handle has grown over ten times year over year. Excluding NFL games, the 2019 Masters ranked among the top five highest-bet sporting events on DraftKings while 2020 has featured many of the company’s most popularly bet golf tournaments of all time. Amidst this surge in golf betting, the athlete sponsorship also entails unique experiential elements to engage fans such as playing a round of golf with or receiving golf lessons from Mr. DeChambeau.

I have to admit, a lesson from Bryson is an amusing concept....  First, go put on 40-lbs. of muscle.

And I remain completely convinced that Bryson wrote this his ownself:

“DraftKings has been at the forefront of innovation for how people experience golf, and the company continues to modernize the game through technology built by and for sports fans,” said Bryson DeChambeau.

Rumor has it that Mary, Queen of Scots came by her golf addiction via a DraftKings daily fantasy pool.

But really, what does a person who experiences golf via DraftKings look like?   Is this someone that plays our game, or is it the guy yelling "Mashed Potatoes" in the middle of a backswing?  Of course, as you shouldn't need me to remind you, I'm hardly their target demo...

Memorial Day - Ironically back in its' traditional pre-Masters slot in this one-off jerry-rigged year, there is a feel-good aspect to this week's Tour stop:

PGA Tour pros play a game with which most of us are unfamiliar, but this week they’re at a course to which we can all relate.

Memorial Park Golf Course, which last hosted the Houston Open nearly 60 years ago and is now set to host the tournament again, is a municipal facility — city-owned and accessible to all.

And it’s got $38 weekend green fees to prove it.

$38.

Try finding a Tour venue that you can play for less.While you’re at it, try finding a track that pairs such a bare-bones price with Memorial’s rich pedigree.

About that pedigree:

Located within an expansive city park of the same name, Memorial Park was born in 1923 as a nine-hole, sand-greens layout but bloomed into a fully grassed 18 in 1936. Between 1947 and 1963, it staged the Houston Open 14 times. Jackie Burke Jr., Cary Middlecoff and Arnold Palmer all claimed Houston Open titles in those years. Dave Marr didn’t. But the PGA Championship-winner-turned-golf-broadcaster grew up playing Memorial Park and never lost his fondness for it. His ashes are scattered on the grounds.

 Unlike a certain project on the South side of Chicago, this one passes the smell test as to objectives:

Every renovation brings its own demands. Doak’s mandate was to dream up a Goldilocks design, a course that would ask compelling questions of the world’s best golfers while answering the needs of its muni clientele during jam-packed year-round play. As his consigliere, Doak leaned on Brooks Koepka, an official advisor on the project, a four-time major winner, who provided his two cents on design.

From the start, both men knew that defending par against the pros couldn’t be a top priority. That would only yield a one-dimensional layout. The emphasis, instead, should be on excitement — especially, Koepka urged, on the closing stretch. Electric late-day lead changes were what he hoped to see.

Doak obliged. Holes 13-17 are primed for fireworks, with two drivable par-4s, two reachable par-5s and a pint-sized but perilous par-3 in the mix. That’s four eagle chances in the last six holes.

“To balance that,” Doak told GOLF.com, “the stretch from 10-12 is probably the most difficult part of the course, so, as at Augusta, the leaders may be backing up a bit right as the challengers are posting birdies and eagles.”

I think it's great that the Houston event is being held at this authentically municipal layout, but the real excitement is that restoration got done at all.  To the extent the PGA Tour event helped to fund that work, all the better.  So much so that I'm even willing to keep my powder dry on the involvement of the Houston <cough-cheaters-cough> Astros Foundation.

The involvement of Koepka is interesting as well.  Brooksie isn't a man I readily associate with deep thoughts, or really any thoughts at all, though he seems to have been an important part of the effort.  

Augusta On My Mind - It's real and it's awesome, it's just not for us:

Inside the first-ever online Masters merchandise shop (yes, of course it’s spectacular)

For 2020 Masters ticket-holders, the holidays came early Monday.

That’s when Augusta National flung open the doors to its virtual Masters shop, offering would-be

patrons an eye-popping selection of Masters-branded merchandise, from neckties and duffle bags to coffee mugs and Italian leather passport cases. Typically, these wares are made available to patrons in the on-site shop, but this year, with the Masters proceeding sans spectators, Augusta National has, for the first time, made its merch available to ticket-holders and an assorted few others in a digital marketplace.

How long the inventory will last is anyone’s guess. God willing, we’re unlikely to see another November Masters anytime soon, which means this year’s gear will have a special one-off cachet for collectors. The tournament has leaned into the timing with fall-themed course prints and holiday decorations, including tree ornaments and a Santa garden gnome.

A Masters-themed Santa garden gnome?  Proof positive of the existence of a merciful and benevolent God...  Or, it would be, were I a ticket holder.  there's a carefully curated list of suggestions, but i's hard to see where one could go wrong with these:


Unless, of course, we dwell on the fact that Roberts and Jones would have torn down the clubhouse if they had had adequate financing.

But the key bit above might just be "assorted few others".  Who are these others, and should w ebeat the Christmas rush and start hating them now?

But perhaps they're taking things just a wee bit too far?

On Monday, the Masters granted those with tickets to this year’s tournament access to the Masters’ “patron shop,” a brand-new online retail platform in place of the traditional brick-and-mortar location on the tournament grounds. Included among the items for sale on the patron shop is “Taste of the Masters,” Augusta National’s attempt to bring the magic of the tournament’s concessions into your home.

By purchasing the Taste of the Masters collection, fans can have a series of “signature” concession items to be shipped to their home just in time for viewing the action from Augusta. The package, which is meant to serve 10-12 people, according to the Masters website, includes the following:

  • 1 pound of pimento cheese
  • 1 pound of egg salad
  • 1.5 pounds of pork “bar-b-que”
  • 8 bags of potato chips
  • 6 chocolate chip cookies
  • 6 bags of caramel popcorn
  • 25 commemorative Masters cups
  • Logo checkerboard serving paper


OK, put me down for an order, but please hold the pimento cheese.

Ryan Herrington has an item up with an interesting premise, to wit, using personal photos from Golf Digest writers lucky enough to have won the lottery to play the course the Monday after as a mechanism to anticipate how it will look next week.  Here's his take on the second green:

The seventh green is readily apparent in the background.  I'm thinking the image on the right below might be more comfortable for Frankie Molinari:

I've left this browser tab open to scroll through later at a more leisurely pace...

Lastly, Golf Digest is up with their picks, which seem to focus more than ever on betting odds. so perhaps everyone has gotten the memo.  Or is on DraftKings payroll, or whatever...

The picks are chalk top to bottom, so it's their anlysis that must hold our interest.  I'm certainly not suggesting that this is the most interesting, but it's the easiest low-aerobic snark:

10. Rory McIlroy (14/1)

Reason to pick: Remarkably, this will be the sixth attempt at completing the career Grand Slam for Rory. And while he’s still searching for his first green jacket, he had a streak of five consecutive top 10s at Augusta snapped last year.

Cause for concern: Between that back-nine collapse in 2011 and being beaten head-to-head badly by Patrick Reed in 2018, he’s got some serious scar tissue at Augusta National. And you’re not getting much bang for your buck at 12-to-1 14-to-1 odds.

Yes, but if being beaten badly head-to-head by Patrick reed is embarrassing, what adjective would we use to describe being beaten badly head-to-head by....Jeff Knox?  Oh, and those five top 10s were all pretty much of the back door variety...

Lastly, I knew most of these, though a couple were new to me:

12 things you probably didn't know about the Masters and Augusta National

Including this one:

12. Rae's Creek was used as protection from attacks

Rae’s Creek was named after John Rae. The creek runs in front of the No. 12 green, has a tributary at the No. 13 tee, and passes by the back of the No. 11 green. Rae’s house kept residents safe during Native American attacks. It was the furthest fortress up the Savannah River from Fort Augusta.

 

I'm sure that will make Curtis feel better...

Lastly, for those looking to lay a shekel or two down, Gary Van Sickle has news you can use:

Looking for a Masters favorite? Don’t short the long guys

As if.  The talk has been Bryson, Bryson and, just for a change of pace, Bryson, so I'm guessing the big boppers will draw plenty of action.  I'm not a professional gambler and I don't play one on TV, but I would assume that the value plays would be found with the shorter hitters, no?

As a parallel to today's election, it's foolhardy to think we know what will happen.  I always like to remind folks that after Augusta lengthened the course dramatically in 2002, the first Masters played on that beats yielded a Mike Weir-Len Mattiace playoff, those being two of the shortest players in the game.

I shall discharge you here.  I know that Thursday will be a day off, but I haven't made up my mind about tomorrow as well.  It may depend on what news I wake up to, so check back to see if I've hit the keyboard.

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