Unplayable Lies: Masters Wrap - A Day Late and a Dollar Short

I know, I missed you guys as well. We lost power in the wild storms Sunday night, and it didn't come back on until midday Monday. We can handle the snow, rain and gloom of night, but we might be looking into a generator for that other hazard. Excuse me, penalty area... I forgot for a second that hazard has been expunged from our Newspeak dictionaries.

I assume the 24-hour delay will render my insights that much keener...or not. But what else do we all have to do these days?

In attempting to handicap the event, I noted that Rory needed this one the most, but with DJ close behind. Having delivered on that, we all might need to reassess DJ's career and future possibilities for the enhancement thereof.

Alan Shipnuck has the best profile I've found this cycle, beginning with this unusual bit of bravado from the usually soft-spoken man:

Nine years ago, while piloting his boat down Florida’s Intracoastal Waterway, Dustin Johnson was asked not about the destination but what even back then seemed like his destiny: winning a green jacket. He had to raise his voice to be heard over the Southern rock booming out of the boat’s many speakers: “It’s gonna happen, bro.”

OK, I can certainly see now that it was inevitable... Apparently, though, I over-interpreted this:

And yet anatomy is not destiny; no matter how extravagant Johnson’s physical gifts, the jacket remained beyond his grasp. He loved to party and chase skirts, at times running afoul of the PGA
Our hero at the 2007 Walker Cup.
Tour’s watchful eyes. A series of spectacular Sunday crack-ups at the majors left many wondering about Johnson’s various unseen body parts: brain, heart, guts. Through it all Johnson sailed on, piling up Tour victories and remaining the game’s most down-home superstar — always polite, always kind, never saying a bad word about another soul.

But those close to Johnson were becoming impatient for him to fulfill his vast promise. Johnson’s swing coach Butch Harmon sounded the alarm in the early 2010s: “He has always relied on tremendous natural ability to carry him through. It’s taken him all the way to being a top-10 player. But every other guy in the top 10 outworks him.”

What turned him around? Irony alert, it was one of those skirts he chased:

Johnson’s journey to the green jacket was redirected in an unlikely way: he fell for Paulina Gretzky, the glamorous daughter of a hockey great. They began dating in 2013 and were engaged six months later. By January 2014, Paulina was pregnant. A few months later, Johnson took a six-month “leave of absence” to address “personal challenges” that followed the revelations that he had failed three drug tests, for marijuana and cocaine.

One of the most influential members of his inner circle, trainer Joey Diovisalvi, saw significant personal growth during Johnson’s time away from the game. “I think for a long time Dustin had been struggling with the question: ‘Who loves me and believes in me, not as a golfer but as a person?’” Diovisalvi says. “In that period of reflection he came to discover that Paulina and her family were his sanctuary. In the hardest of times they had his back. Love became the defining thing in his life, and when you’re finally not afraid to love back, that’s a life-changing shift.”

And yet... I readily admit that I'm deep into the "get off my lawn" stage of life, but am I the only one that finds it strange that seven years and two children later, they're still "engaged"?

In a Great Minds Think Alike moment, Employee No. 2 has long called DJ Wolverine:

As Johnson settled into a (mostly) contented domesticity — a son, Tatum, was quickly followed by another, River — he began to finally address the shortcomings in his game and approach to his profession. He bought a Trackman and at long last committed to dialing in his wedge game. He committed to a low-fun diet and began spending so much time in the gym Joey D says, “He looks like he should be one of the X-Men.”

Lots of credit to his caddie as well:

In the wake of the trying U.S. Open victory, Johnson gave much of the credit for his equanimity
to his brother A.J., who had become his caddie three years earlier. They share the same charming goofiness and jock swagger. (Their 6-foot-4 maternal grandfather, Art Whisnant, is in the South Carolina Hall of Fame for his basketball exploits; as a senior in high school at Charis Prep, a North Carolina hoop factory, Austin averaged 16.8 points while shooting 56.4% on three-pointers and 92.3% from the free throw line.)

“That whole week at Oakmont, I felt like we were just groovin’,” Johnson says. “We had a great game plan for the golf course, so it felt pretty easy. And we were executin’. When all that stuff happened on Sunday, we just stuck to our game plan.”

I've long wondered at the Great One's reaction when his daughter brought home DJ. I'm thinking he likely had his sights set higher, though here he's quite gracious:

“I don’t know golf,” Gretzky, an 11-handicapper, said in late 2016, “but I know sports. There are great talents at every level. What separates the superstars is preparation and commitment. The notion that I’m some kind of guru to Dustin is overblown. He was a top-10 player long before I met him. But if I’ve helped in any way it’s with the message that to be the best he has to pay the price. I’ve encouraged him to set very high goals for himself. Tiger-like goals. So this year you’ve won three tournaments and a major. Next year make it five tournaments and two majors. Don’t be afraid to be the best. Embrace it.”

The power in that advice is quite obvious, as Gretzky got the most out of the least...

I'd suggest you read the whole thing, but I excerpted so aggressively, there's only some table scraps left.

Bob Harig's dares, at least in his header, says what most of us are thinking:

How two brothers went from 'Dumb and Dumber' to winning the Masters

The stories are legendary, and not all that flattering. Dustin Johnson and his brother, Austin, look like an excellent team now, a Masters green jacket and a ridiculously good 2020 golf year amid a pandemic all the proof you need.

But when Dustin decided to hire his brother full time to be his caddie in 2013, the reviews were not so good. Using a family member as a fill-in on the bag is one thing; to entrust him with what has become a big-business gig is quite another.

And given some of Johnson's high-profile, final-round missteps over the years, the move seemed even more curious. The belief was that the care-free, sometimes aloof Johnson needed a steadying influence, an experienced caddie who would guide him through golf's minefields.

I was certainly one of those folk. I found it telling when Joe LaCava worked for him briefly, then quickly jumped ship, the presumption being that Joe didn't like his close-up look (of course, he dumped DJ for Tiger, so there's that).

Back to Shipnuck for a second, and how do we feel about this bit?

There used to be some debate on Tour about which player’s best golf is the best, period. That question is done and dusted. And, yes, this was an unorthodox, roar-free November Masters but talk of an asterisk is misguided — Johnson is the first player to win a green jacket just a few weeks after defeating Covid-19. (He handled the quarantine, in a small hotel room, like the Zen master that he is: ““I was just laying around — kind of doing nothing.”)

The Tour Confidential panel led with this question echoing that same assertion:

1. Dustin Johnson won the 84th Masters, handily. He won by five shots. He won with two bogey-free rounds. He won with the lowest overall total in Masters history (20 under). Has DJ put to rest the debate about who on Tour is really the best?

Am I the only one that remembers our fixation way back in mid-September? Recency bias much?

Michael Bamberger: No. He’s the best this year. Can he sustain it? Tiger was the high priest of sustain it. DJ’s talent is off the charts. We all know that. But he comes and goes.

Josh Sens: There are a few other guys on Tour who, when they’re revving on all cylinders, have a similar amount of firepower. Rory and Rahm come to mind. Maybe Bryson fits that category, too. But we’ve seen it more from DJ than we have from anyone else in recent years. We just haven’t had a chance to see him do it in a major.

Dylan Dethier: Yes! For now …

Luke Kerr-Dineen: I think it’s pretty obvious that DJ’s best is, right now, better than the rest. Whose is better than him? Rory? The guy who has won three fewer tournaments over the past two years, and no majors since 2014? Justin Thomas, who’s also won fewer times and spent less time as World No. 1? Rahm? We’re witnessing DJ mid-peak, and unlike Rory — who, admittedly, I am tempted to take in this spot — DJ actually shows us his ceiling on a pretty regular basis.

Sean Zak: I think Justin Thomas’ best is just as good. We didn’t see it in all its glory this week. And we haven’t seen Rory McIlroy’s best in awhile. So yeah, it’s Dustin and Justin.

I just don't think there's much to pick from among DJ, Rory, Rahmbo and JT, like Mike and Josh above. The more interesting questions are about the frequency with which they can summon it and how they perform with their B through D games, and those questions only answer themselves over a longer term.

It was an anti-climactic Sunday for sure, which is gonna happen when the guy leading by four throws up a low-drama 68... Though, there was a sequence on the outgoing nine where the collar inevitably tightened. Joel Beall has this on the key shot of the day:

Walking off the green Johnson looked up at the score board, shook his head and muttered, “All right, come on.” Not exactly a rendition of Al Pacino’s locker room speech from “Any Given
Sunday,” but the pep talk Johnson needed. He rifled his approach at the par-3 sixth—with a back-right pin boasting a landing spot the size of a dinner table—to seven feet, and converted. With Im making a mess of things, the lead back to three.

After another wayward drive at the seventh (although he was able to make par thanks to a nifty bunker shot), Johnson finally unleashed his fury at the eighth, a drive that was one of the longest on the par 5 all week. He didn’t let it go to waste, hitting a shot from 245 yards that caused Augusta National member and future Hall of Fame quarterback Peyton Manning to exclaim, “Yeah, yeah, that’s pretty good.” (Someone give Manning a commentary gig ASAP.) Johnson would birdie the eighth and par the ninth to make the turn in 35.

No argument, I myself knew he would be OK after that tee ball on six. I would just add that given his struggles on Nos. 4 and 5, that putt on No. 3 looks pretty meaningful as well in the rear view mirror, especially as he didn't hit an especially good chip from just short of the green.

This header seems a miss as well:

Masters 2020: Dustin Johnson's play in 2020 redefines his golf legacy

Fair enough, at least if you add the words "at Augusta", because nothing he does at Hartford matters very much. His W-totals have long been gaudy for the era, but the absence of big wins was the tell.

So, what did we think of our November Masters? Mike Bamberger has a curious column on the week, including this discordant note:

A tip of the hat, too, to the Augusta National, for pulling this tournament off safely and appropriately, at a time when this lethal Covid-19 virus does not ask permission to come in, no matter how good your private-club security might be. The week could have been very la-di-da, for the lucky 900 or so members, course-and-tournament workers and USGA officials who were on campus. It wasn’t. It was golfy. Suzy Whaley of the PGA of America was out there, mask on, watching the golf. Kendra Graham of the USGA was out there, mask on, watching the golf. Fred Ridley of the Augusta National was out there, mask on, watching the golf.

There will never be another Masters like it. Although the April 2021 Masters might be something like it.

It's funny how stuff hits us, but that's the most depressing thought I've heard in a bit...

You want to know how funny Mike's column is? Here's his lede graph juxtaposed with one that follows later:

AUGUSTA, Ga. — The soul of the famous seasonal club here is more Southern than anything else, so in that sense, and in every sense, its newest unofficial member, Mr. Dustin, should feel right at home, here at the Augusta National, as the Texas golf legend Ben Hogan liked to call the place.

Yes, the course played soft. As landing pads, the greens were welcoming and mushy, and far less wicked to putt. For the first three days the winds were gentle or nonexistent. There were no spectators to amp up the pressure. No matter. You play the course they give you, you play the best you can, you add up the numbers in the boxes, and that number is yours forever. As they say ’round these parts, Mazel tov, Dustin.

he does address that A-issue:

Johnson shot 20 under — 65, 70, 65, 68 — for 268 in this 84th Masters, and the first played with the world in the grip of a pandemic. Nobody’s ever shot lower for 72 holes at a Masters, not in March, not in April — not in mid-November, at the height of the SEC football season. Tiger set the old record, 270, from his first win, in 1997. Jordan Spieth tied it in 2015. There is no asterisk on this new one.

I've never been a fan of the asterisk, as sports records are broken when conditions allow. On the other hand, did you see how soft that course was? Can we settle this with just a wee little asterisk by that masters scoring record?

Back the that TC panel on this topic:

2. At long last, we no longer have to speculate about how Augusta National will play in November — we saw it with our own eyes. In your mind, how did the autumnal version of Augusta National hold up as a test of championship golf?

Bamberger: It was a different course, as it had to be. The course conditions were dictated by Mother Nature her own self. The week was spectacular in every way, including the course. That the club was able to put on a safe, appropriate tournament, despite the many obstacles, including lethal ones, is inspiring.

Dethier: We had a November Masters — but we didn’t really have the November Masters that was promised. This week was warm, soft and still. We expected cold, soft and windy. If the event started today and ran through Wednesday, the conditions would have been pretty different, so I don’t think we know for sure. But yes, it was a great event. Just a little too easy for our liking.

Sens: I think we all would have liked to see more bounce in the fairways and few shots sticking, dart-like, in the greens. But given the time of year (recent overseeding) and all the rain, I thought … well, can you imagine another course being able to stage a major under similar circumstances?

LKD: Augusta National in the fall was fun. Not better nor worse than spring Augusta National, just different. When the wind was up a touch, as it was on Sunday, it was a pretty fantastic and intriguing test of major championship golf. My only minor critique is that when the wind wasn’t up, the softer course had very little defense, as we saw on Saturday. In retrospect, I’d like to have seen the rough a little longer.

Zak: I think with fewer “drying hours,” and overnight temps hovering near dewpoint much longer, the greens are going to just stay wet longer and not dry out as easily, naturally. So in the event we have another November Masters (I’m not opposed!), just don’t expect the greens to be as firm as we did this week.

There have been many calls in recent weeks for a Truth and Reconciliation Commission, and I'll just suggest that their first order of business should involve Augusta National's second cut.

But seriously, Luke, not better or worse? This Masters was absolutely perfect, but only when the alternative was having no Masters. The only remaining question to me is whether a November Masters will inevitably feature conditions this soft, or whether it was just bad luck with the weather. But here's hoping that question never arises again...

Let's segue to Geoff's summary of the week:

2020 Masters Winners, Ehs and Losers

Ehs, eh? In rebuttal to LKD:

April – All things considered, Augusta National proved as pleasant as ever to see in November. But the springtime vibes and inability to present a firmer, faster course served as a reminder that everything about the place is geared toward springtime. Hopefully this never happens again.

So great that they pulled this off, but this event is Spring, writ large. And won't we embrace it in five short (not sure about that adjective) months.

CBS. Making up for the lack of patrons with additional cameras and aerial views, they’ve established themselves as the leader in golf television. The Masters extras delivered everything NBC’s U.S. Open coverage was lacking due to budget cuts. The drone views, the 16th hole spy cam and other beauties made up for the quiet atmosphere. Moving Dottie Pepper to on-course commentating added Masters insights we don’t normally enjoy.

Isn't the point here that the club let them do it? It's the club that has previously controlled every aspect of the CBS production, precluding blimps and on-course reporters, staples at Hartford and every other televised tournament in the world. Not sure where that leaves us, but hopefully we can rely on stare decisis for future broadcasts. Some quibbles below.

Young International Players Cameron Smith, Sungjae Im and Abraham Ancer – The first two aforementioned are repeatedly dubbed up-and-coming talents elevated their standing in the game with stout runner-up finishes. Smith thrived with a little smoke-and-mirrors work to become the first ever posting four-rounds in the 60s. Im with stunning ballstriking consistency. And if Ancer learns how to putt… What is it about The Masters bringing out the best in the rest of the world?

Certainly as relates to those first two. Cam Smith, in particular, seems to be carving out a role as a big-game hunter. I like Ancer, but that was one of those dreadful Sunday meltdowns, and he's such a short hitter that I'm not as sanguine about his prospects.

Bernhard Langer – The oldest player to ever make the Masters cut and undoubtedly back to the range tomorrow after picking up a few things from Bryson Sunday.

The shelf life of this record is probably five months...

As for those ehs, it's the usual suspects:

Tiger – Such a promising start, but the back stiffened up Saturday playing 20 holes and a 10 on Sunday followed by four birdies ended a mixed-bag title defense. Still, the distance was there, the swing looks as rhythmic as ever and it’s easy to see him contending a couple more times when roars are on his side.

Grading on a curve, are we? He looked so good on Thursday, that what followed is all the more depressing. I just don't get the sense that the back will hold up for four days any more, so I've pretty much written the guy off.

Justin Thomas – He brings it every week and works as hard as anyone in golf. A golden opportunity missed but hardly a setback.

I think the way JT played himself out of the mix on Saturday is more troubling, especially given how easy the course played. He's got lots of opportunities ahead of him, but more of a sting here than I think Geoff sees.

But I'll go to the mattresses on this one:

Rory McIlroy – He brings it every week and works as hard as anyone in golf. Another tough first day and another career Grand Slam opportunity missed. Good news? Only five months until he opens as the Masters betting favorite!

From the moment the November date was announced, this screamed Rory's name. He's unlikely to ever see softer conditions, and Rory only wins when it's soft (see, Congressional, Kiawah, Valhalla and even Hoylake). I'll be the first to say it, but this is one career slam that I think remains unconsummated.

Oddly-timed mid-round CBS interviews – Hearing about Rory McIlroy’s newborn while the leaders were on Amen Corner Saturday, Andy Ogletree while the leaders were in the back nine Sunday before he gets interviewed again in Butler Cabin as low amateur. Then Rory again with the leaders on 17.

The timing, for sure, but the interviews are always painfully awkward... Amanda Balionis has never done it for me, though they do tend to fall flat in just about anyone's hands.

This was a funny bit:

Paulina - Great Masters green shirt, but your man has just won The Masters and has to go sign his card. He doesn’t need to know where you’ll be. I think he’ll find you when he’s reunited with his cell phone.

I'm a little shocked that she wore green, as that decision might have looked silly had things gone their usual course with DJ...

As always, we'll focus like a laser on Geoff's losers, starting with this:

Weekend TV Windows. Even with the well-known sunset time and likelihood of threesomes off split tees, CBS did not come on the air Saturday until 1 pm ET as the leading group teed off on the fifth. Sunday we missed the leaders playing the early holes live along with all of the fun buildup prior to the opening tee shot while they were also not part of Featured Group coverage. So yes, the Masters wisely sticks to a less-is-more approach with their network broadcast while providing robust digital viewing alternatives. But given how much happened in those early holes Saturday—Tiger and Phil playing themselves out, Rory playing himself into contention—the late network arrival seemed a huge miscalculation. Informercials were airing nationally Saturday and while I understand those pay affiliate bills, the Masters doesn’t come around often.

DJ arguably won this event in the early-going on Saturday, with CBS off air. Like Shack, I just don't get it, especially since it's a time of day when CBS' alternative programming is not a factor (compared to Sunday and their NFL slate).

Geoff's rebuttal to LKD:

Rough – The “Third Cut” looked awful, did not make the course play better and undercuts the whole defending Jones and MacKenzie narrative. Oh and a record -20 won, so par was not protected and no one wants it to be.

Do not like. Can anyone remember a previous lost ball in the rough at Augusta?

We had this in our pre-tourney coverage:

Whoever put Sunday’s 16th hole 31 back and four from the right – Presumably the traditional and always captivating back left pin placement was not offering turf suitable for a Masters? Or someone just wanted to make sure we were not treated to a Sunday thrill. Why oh why?

I'm not even in love with that traditional pin. Oh, like everyone, I love the drama of how balls react on the ground, there's just something off-putting about putting the pin near the water when the contours allow the player to aim away from the hazard. But the pin they used is the worst of all, because the shelf is so small and long is so wrong, that we're treated to watching the bulk of the field hit the same 45' putt. How exiting.

Gary McCord, call your office:

Mud ball – Apparently the new “bikini wax” for announcers to avoid, the MB words did get mentioned without the apparently offensive ball part. Players used the term regularly but Dottie Pepper averted disaster with her “organic matter” euphemism.

We have a Tour Confidential diversion on that very subject:

3. Among the storylines this week at soggy Augusta: mudballs! (And players complaining about them.) Given the preponderance of mud-caked balls, should the tournament have made an exception and instituted lift, clean and place?

Bamberger: I will soften my impulsive first-thought response and simply say no.

Dethier: No — it’s pretty clear that the pros were still able to get the job done just fine, mud and all.

Sens: Egad, no. The conditions were just another consideration in strategy. See DJ, opting to lay-up today on 13.

Zak: I don’t think it was truly as prevalent as it may have seemed in the post-round pressers. So, no.

If lift, clean and cheat is required in a major, it's no longer Major.

Shack does briefly touch on this guy:

Bryson DeChambeau - 124 into 13 was fun but the energy levels were unsustainable. Augusta requires more calm and patience than you exuded.

The TC gang as well:

4. One of the other favorites entering the week, U.S. Open champion Bryson DeChambeau, tied for 34th. After much anticipation, he opened with an up-and-down 70 and wasn’t heard from on the weekend. How much do you suppose the intense hype around DeChambeau impacted him this week?

Bamberger: He looked tired on Thursday and more tired through the week. These are tiring times, this age in which we live, for those of us who own phones that are portable venting machines.

Dethier: To that point, all this attention must be exhausting. He said he didn’t feel right, and he didn’t look right. He’ll be fine — this just wasn’t his week, and it’s possible this won’t be his golf course.

Sens: When half the golf world is fitting you for a green jacket before play even begins, I don’t know how it can help your chances. Seems little doubt that the hype was a distraction. The freaky lost ball on 3 didn’t help either. But as Bryson himself said, that’s golf. Weird things happen. The idea that he was simply going to bludgeon the course and his competition into submission just by showing up was silly from the start. Largely a media creation.

LKD: Bryson’s been going non-stop since the U.S. Open and came into the Masters with more hype than anybody since Tiger Woods. All things considered, he played well and was hit with a few strokes of really bad luck. All of which overshadows the fact slightly that his bomber’s blueprint is spot on. It’s one DJ all but adopted himself, and we saw how well that worked.

Zak: I think this being his first time as that guy was something for him to get used to. It’s hard to say that he handled it well, but he probably learned some things throughout it. And it’s very plausible he’ll be the favorite at the next Masters. Will he be able to apply some learnings then? Or at Kiawah in May? I’d like to think so.

This is where the five-month turnaround could get interesting. It's hardly the first time we've seen a letdown after a breakthrough win, and he still needs to play well to contend. But it tees up the storyline for April pretty well, no? Especially if he puts on another 20 lbs... Kidding, I think.

We certainly cannot leave this space without at least briefly touching on Tiger's rather bizarre Sunday. I've had this tab open since early last week:

Masters 2020: How Tiger Woods plays every hole at Augusta National

Dare I?

No. 12: “Golden Bell,” par 3, 155 yards
Obviously, this hole was pivotal last year. It’s just so hard to judge the wind—it’s kind of blocked off by the trees, so there’s usually more up there than you feel at the tee. That’s what happened to
Brooksy, Francesco, Tony and Poulter. It’s the easiest par 3 in the world on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday, but it’s a totally different ordeal when the tournament starts. The green somehow shrinks as you’re standing on the tee, and there’s really no good place to miss it. Right, obviously, gets you in the water, but long left is no joke either—the grass there doesn’t get much sun, so it can be a bit sandy and a really hard little pitch. I usually just aim over the middle-left part of the bunker and hit a solid, penetrating shot to the middle of the green. Safety first. If you can hit it to the middle of the green, it’s a relatively flat putt to the back-right hole location, so it’s makeable.

OK, maybe a little too soon?

Dylan Dethier does a deep dive on that septuple bogey (and yes, I had to Google it):

At last year’s Masters, Tiger Woods made a 3 at No. 12. Then he made birdies at 13, 15 and 16.

At this year’s Masters, Woods made a 10 at No. 12. Then he made birdies at 13, 15 and 16.

On the scorecard, the obvious year-over-year difference was starkest on the 12th. In person, the scene at 16 was the bigger shock.

When Woods stuck his 16th tee shot to 2 feet in 2019, the ground shook. The roar echoed ’round the property. It backed Brooks Koepka off his tee shot at No. 17. Hell, Michael Phelps lost his mind celebrating in the background. Woods had essentially just won the Masters.

OK, Dylan, might be about time to move on:

Here’s the thing: As horrifying as it was to watch Woods make 10 on No. 12, there was no real mystery to it. It wasn’t a shank or a chunk or a choke. He just missed the green in the one spot where you can’t.

I feel I have to quibble here. We all know that they can't miss short, so it is a bit of a mystery when they do it, and especially when they do it more than once.

“It’s not like he clanked it out there,” LaCava said afterwards. “He was 10 feet from being okay.”

Ten feet and a world away. Two water-balls and eight strokes later, Woods admitted that he felt suddenly alone. “This sport is awfully lonely sometimes,” he said. “You have to fight it. No one is going to bring you off the mound or call in a sub. You have to fight through it.”

Dylan extols that comeback, with which I don't quibble, as Tiger has always been a grinder on his tough days. the anti-Daly if you will, but isn't this the key bit?

Woods did admit that the trying does take its toll. He’s 44, and prepping for rounds of golf is more difficult than ever. Saturday he was up before 4 a.m. to prep for his round. Sunday was about the same. There may come a point for Woods when the reward doesn’t justify the output, where the drive isn’t worth the work that goes into starting the engine.

“There are days when mentally, it’s harder to push than others just because physically it’s just — my body just has moments where it just doesn’t work like it used to. No matter how hard I try, things just don’t work the way they used to, and no matter how much I push and ask of this body, it just doesn’t work at times.

Dylan closes on this note:

But that would be missing the point. Woods just birdied five of his last six holes. Until an hour ago he was the Masters defending champ. The next Masters is just five months away, and Woods is already gearing up for it.

Lowry said it best:

“I mean, he’s Tiger Woods, isn’t he? He’s the best of all time.”

Well, he used to be. It's just not at all clear that his back will allow him to continue being Tiger Woods.

The TC gang, with their laughable Tiger-centricity, obviously had thoughts here as well:

5. The defending champion, Tiger Woods, shot eight-under par for 71 holes – and, disastrously, seven over on the par-3 12th on Sunday. Did his performance this week change in any way how you feel about his chances at future Masters?

Bamberger: To answer this question requires opinion that is broadly cheap, but the actual and nuanced answer may be found in Dylan Dethier’s write-up on Tiger’s 10 on 12, and what he did from there to the house. The will. He’ll have good Masters again. He had one this year.

Dethier: He played well, and I think he could contend, body willing, if he putts well. That’s still a big “if,” but he and this golf course remain a good fit.

Sens: Agreed. He played well, and he’ll play well again at Augusta. Multiple times. As for whether he’ll win it again, very many things would have to go very right.

LKD: Tiger’s pretty much where I expect him to be: Physical ailments that are a perpetually day-by-day issue, which is concerning, but he also seems to have a more realistic understanding of how to handle it. His game is more off-and-on, but ultimately, he’s still Tiger Woods, and therefore always capable of winning. But in order for him to do so, he needs a few things outside of his control to fall into place.

Zak: In order for Tiger to win a four-round tournament, he needs the course to play more difficult for the rest of the field. He needs it to be more of a chess match than checkers. Augusta National felt more like checkers this week than the chess board that is dissected with experience. So, less moisture. More sun. More birdies, too.

They're way more optimistic than I am, as those images of Tiger gingerly bending to pick his ball out of the hole on Saturday tend to linger.

A couple of amusing bits on my path to the exit, first this inevitable query:

6. Speaking of future Masters, the next edition is only five months away! Who ya got?

Bamberger: Kisner. A short fast course and a winner in the Larry Mize tradition. A local with a good putting game.

Dethier: Right now? Dustin Johnson. He’s the best golfer.

Sens: You mean, I don’t get to rest on the laurels of having picked DJ on this site last week? I’ll take Rory. The positive momentum (and mentality) for his final three rounds will carry over to the spring.

LKD: Bryson! I liked a lot of what I saw this week. Give him some time to rest up, put on a few more pounds and get the green jacket ready.

Zak: Xander. Dying on this hill until it happens.

I'm going with Woods. No, not him, Charley...

Lastly, there was a serious omission from Shack's list of losers, one that came in for quite the vitriol from the rampaging Twitter hordes. I speak, of course, of Nike: