Tuesday Trifles

And just a few of them at that...  A quiet day, you'll not be surprised to hear.  Early appointments Wednesday and Friday will likely preclude blogging, and only one of them is golf.

Memphis in June August - We have an early favorite for most unintentionally hilarious header of the day:

Organizers are striving to maintain WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational traditions

You mean like that Tuesday evening Champions Dinner?  Seriously, what could those be?

The idea was simple. 

When Memphis’ annual PGA Tour event earned a World Golf Championships designation, officials and organizers decided the first such tournament at TPC Southwind in 2019 would feature a subtle but proud theme: Memphis itself. 

Both of its title sponsors were well represented. Barbecue was a focal point. The emphasis was to highlight the hallmarks of the Bluff City as best it could for golfers, fans and spectators throughout and around the 240-acre venue. But any hopes of establishing any sort of tradition tied to the WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational appeared to be dashed when the PGA Tour announced earlier this month that fans – which showed up in record-number droves in 2019 – would not be allowed on-site due to health and safety concerns related to the ongoing COVID-19 pandemic.

Now I just want to make sure I have this right.  You think the way to promote Memphis is to bring the Tour there at the height of summer?  

“We want this to be Memphis’ WGC,” Smith said.

I think what's really happened is that, with the PGA Championship's move to May, their previous core function of showing us Lumpy in a soaking-wet golf shirt had been abandoned.  As we've all learned, nature abhors a vacuum...

 So, they put their heads together and came up with this bespoke solution:

So, rather than do away with the concept completely, organizers partnered with Charlie Vergos’ Rendezvous, Central BBQ, Hog Wild BBQ and Germantown Commissary to keep up the spirit of the event – even if it’s from a distance – by offering a variety of catering packages for pick-up or delivery at discounted rates (through Aug. 2), which will also include various tournament merchandise. 

“What we’ve done this year, we’ve tried to create some energy around ‘The Pit at Home,’” Smith said. “We’re encouraging people who won’t be on-site to watch the broadcast but also get a little taste of Memphis and what was on the grounds last year.”

Wow, take-out!  Not like anyone has tried that lately...  And they're far from finished with novel solutions to the novel Corona virus:

The tournament is also going old-school in its preparations for possible inclement weather. In keeping with social distancing efforts, officials are doing away with the 15-passenger vans that are reserved for shuttling golfers off the course when bad weather strikes. 

“Now, it’ll be 80-plus golf carts,” Smith said. “If we have a weather situation, we’ll have to tell Dustin Johnson, ‘Go grab your cart and drive to the clubhouse.’ Flexibility is the key. There’s not really a playbook to put on a golf tournament in the middle of a pandemic. But we do have a pretty good plan. And I do think the Tour has done a great job of adopting a plan and having it be an evolving plan.”

Wow, I didn't see that one coming... Golf carts to transport golfers?  I do hope you've filed the paperwork to protect that intellectual property...

Every April we're treated to those stories about how Augusta National will fix Jordan Spieth?  I know, ironic in that it was ANGC that broke him in the first place, but that's not important now...

I mention that because Dylan Dethier has a late-breaking piece up about the five big winners from last week.  I know, I certainly moved on as quickly as possible, but this one will surprise you, at least initially:

4. Future Brooks Koepka 

You might be saying to yourselves, “Wait a minute. Brooks Koepka?! He missed the cut

this week! He’s gone MC-T62-MC his last three starts!” To which I would say: Fair point. However! 

We’re headed to Memphis, which is where the world No. 6 should catch some seriously good vibes. The last time he went walkin’ in Memphis was at last year’s WGC here, when he throttled Rory McIlroy in the final group on Sunday and walked away with a statement victory. Now he’ll be back! 

If that feeling isn’t enough to get Koepka swinging freely, he needn’t wait much longer for some more good feelings. It’s hard to imagine someone better suited for the action at TPC Harding Park in two weeks’ time than Koepka, who you’ll recall has won the last two editions of the PGA Championship. He’s got one in the Midwest, at Bellerive in 2018. He got one on the East Coast, at Bethpage Black. Can he make it a cross-country trifecta with a triumph in the Bay Area?

He also throws kid brother Chase into the mix, but that's a different matter entirely.  But what to make of former alpha dog Brooksie, whose game has been in serious remission.  I don't know if it's the knee or not, but he sure hasn't been the same guy.

We all tend to overplay the return to venues where players have had success.  It matters until it doesn't, so good luck with that.  I will concede one thing to Dylan, that missing the cut was likely better for Brooks than making it on the number...  He just looked to me like a guy that needed to be anywhere else but the golf course in that moment.  

Derek Lawrenson catches up with instructor Pete Cowan who goes the tough love route.  First, a framing of the state of the man's game:

Now look at him on his return to Elvis Presley country. All shook up doesn’t begin to cover it. Never mind winning, he has not even featured on a leaderboard since Rory

McIlroy beat him to £12.2million for the FedEx Cup in Atlanta last September. 

Koepka dismissed talk at the time of a growing rivalry between the two and subsequent events have unwittingly borne him out. He is not even among the top 125 who will contest the first of the three FedEx Cup play-off events next month, much less the finale which is open to the top 30. After lapping the field at the top of the world rankings a year ago, Koepka is now down to sixth.

Here's the money quote:

‘When you get an injury as bad as that you’re never 100 per cent right again,’ said Cowen. ‘But I don’t think it’s a problem. That’s finding excuses for the fact he’s swinging it badly. We don’t need excuses, we need to sort it out.’ 

Cowen believes it is more a question of attitude. ‘When he’s at his best, he’s bulletproof. He doesn’t care what other people are doing, he just puts results on the board,’ he said. ‘The US Open at Shinnecock Hills in 2018 was a classic case in point. With his caddy Ricky Elliott, I was talking it through with him, how he played every hole in the final round, he was all over the place at times. But he had belief he would win. He had body language that said, “I’m going to get the job done”. That’s what we need to get back.’

True, but I still suspect we'll see another surgeon go at that knee in the near future.

Sacrificing Straw Men Needlessly -  Charley Hoffman has been quite the Company Man on the subject of distance.  Apparently there's nothing to see here, and I feel bad that I might have implied otherwise...Here's what he has to say, so see what you think of his debating skills:

This talk of bifurcation has been fiercely debated with stakeholders across the golf world 

weighing in on the polarizing topic. On this week’s episode of GOLF’s Subpar, Charley Hoffman offered up his thoughts on opposing bifurcation. He pointed to Bryson DeChambeau as an example of the uselessness of rolling equipment back.

“I think playing under one rules makes our sport really special,” Hoffman said. “I think Bryson is the perfect example of why we don’t need to do it. Roll back anything. The guy was average to long hitter prior and he went and worked his a—off and found a way to hit it further. That is a perfect example of getting better. Why would you want to roll it back?”

One rules?  OK, I've been reliably informed that grammar is racist, so I should probably let that pass.  But it seems to this observer that there's been a subtle move of the goalposts.  It used to be said that we play the same equipment as the pros, a laughable concept to anyone that knows the game.  

That last bit we've discussed frequently, the concept that distance gains should somehow be out of the purview of regulators when originating in physical conditioning, launch monitor fine tuning of specs or whatever.  The logical fail here is that the premise is merely stated, with no attempt to support it.  I take the opposite position, that the specific source is largely irrelevant to the issue of whether to regulate.

But now comes the face plant:

Hoffman went on to point out that even if there is a roll back, the DeChambeau’s of the world will still have an advantage. And better equipment isn’t the only reason pros these days are hitting the ball further. Better athletes are playing the game now and fitness has changed the sport. 

“The best athletes in the world are starting to play golf now,” Hoffman said. “That’s why it’s going further.”

Do you know who's arguing that rolling back the ball will negate Bryson's (or anyone's) distance advantage?  Exactly no one.  So, why does that straw man have to be sacrificed?

The ability to hit the ball long and straight has always been an advantage, and always will/should be.  The argument is about the de-skilling of the game from these distance gains, along with the less frequently discussed  reduced spin of the modern, solid-core ball, that makes crooked shots far less crooked.  

Charley is the Chairman of the Players Advisory Council, and the Tour has made it clear that they will not accede to any regulatory effort relating to equipment or the golf ball.  Even if one stipulates that the governing bodies have awoken to the harm being done the game, the intransigence of the PGA Tour and PGA of America becomes quite the hurdle to surmount.

I'll curtail the rant for now, and merely link to this item from Geoff Shackelford:

Great Listen: Fried Egg's Podcast Stories, The Ball

Fine, fine work by The Fried Egg’s Garrett Morrison to present the history of the golf ball in fresh fashion and format. I highly recommend all three episodes and his effort to educate audiences to the remarkable strife and conflict the matter of selling golf balls has delivered to golf.

I learned a lot and felt unabashedly reassured that some form of golf ball regulation would be a really good thing for the game. But that’s me. I’m guessing even those who do not agree and place the perceived profit impact of a few companies over what’s best for the sport, will still feel more intelligent after listening.

I haven't listened, though this is one I might just have to make the time for.  My only hesitation is that he apparently starts with the gutty, whereas the featherie and Alan Robertson deserve a moment in the sun:

The relationship between Robertson and Morris soured when the guttie ball was introduced (see golf ball - history). Robertson caught Morris playing with a guttie, and fired him on the spot. Robertson attempted to suppress the popularity of the new and cheaper ball, which hastened the end of his own 100-year-old business making the featherie ball. Morris accepted the march of progress and felt obliged to leave Robertson and set up his own workshop. Morris moved to Prestwick in 1851, on the west coast of Scotland, to build a new golf course, where he served as professional and greenkeeper. The guttie ball revolutionized golf and Robertson's featherie business did indeed collapse, although Robertson quickly moved to manufacture the guttie, which was made from liquid rubber (gutta percha) found in Malaysia.

You think Pro-V1's are expensive?  Golf was a game only for gentlemen, because no one else could afford a featherie...  

Dateline: Augusta, GA -  Scott Michaux has the sweet golf gig at the local Augusta newspaper (although this link is to the Global Golf Post), and he offers this on the mood there at present:

Augusta National Golf Club – closed since March – has been silent since announcing on April 6 its intention to stage the Masters in front of a full cast of patrons in the fall. That pronouncement included a pretty important disclaimer from Masters chairman Fred

Ridley: “We want to emphasize that our future plans are incumbent upon favorable counsel and direction from health officials.”

Despite silence from Magnolia Lane, two disparate thoughts are racing through the minds of Augusta business leaders desperate for the revenue jolt a fully attended Masters Tournament would provide. The first is serious concern that the Masters will have to follow suit with the PGA Tour and either play behind closed doors or cancel. The second is a blind faith that Augusta National is capable of pulling off magic in the middle of a pandemic. 

“If anybody can do it, they can do it,” said Sean Frantom, the sales and community engagement manager at Augusta’s newly opened Topgolf. “We hope and pray it happens for many, many different reasons. But right now, it doesn’t look very positive.”

“I think the whole town is concerned, I really do,” said John Engler, a former PGA Tour pro whose family’s business in Augusta includes a downtown hotel. “The No. 1 thing is for everyone to be safe and feel safe. If anybody can have fans it would be Augusta National. They’d be able to figure it out.”

Dog bites man... Got it.

What ANGC has that the other two majors don't, is time.  Of course hotel and hospitality operators will panic, it's their livelihood on the line.   And they've lost both their biggest week as well as most of the summer, so they could use a break.

There's just little anyone can say in the present moment.

Quick Hits - I inadvertently omitted this amusing bit from yesterday's blogging of the Tour Confidential panel.  Asking this of John Wood is priceless, almost as good as having Greg Norman in the booth when DJ 3-jacked on No. 18 to toss away that U.S. Open:

During the first round of the 3M Open, Sangmoon Bae hit his drive on the par-5 18th in the water, hit his approach into the water, then holed out from 250 yards. What’s the most ghastly-to-great hole you’ve ever witnessed? 

Zak: Happy Gilmore at the Tour Championship? Wasn’t there myself but it certainly comes to mind. Fred Couples on the bank at Augusta? Tiger Woods left of 16 green? Apologies for taking the obvious answers.

Bamberger: Interesting question, because it so often goes the other way. I’d have to say that five-footer JVD made to get himself into the Open playoff at Carnoustie in 1999. After the trauma he endured to get there, that putt was amazing. But Spieth at Royal Birkdale, from the driving range after that crazy slice, has to be up there, too. 

Sens: Great real world example, Michael. But as with so many things in life, the finest illustration comes from Bugs Bunny. 

Wood: Bill Haas, 18th hole, Tour Championship playoff vs Hunter Mahan. Sigh. Damn you Bill. And of course Spieth at the 13th at Birkdale, vs. Kuchar. Damn you, Jordan. (Laughing, of course) 

Shipnuck: We feel your pain, Woody. One time at Cruden Bay I was playing with my friend Matt Ginella and on a drivable par-4 he blew his tee shot off the planet, declared it lost, reteed … and lipped-out the next one. Routine tap-in par.

The other bit I forgot was to circle back on a subtle change to the format.  Anyone notice it? nyone?  Bueller?

It seems they are no longer numbering their questions.  I assume they're reacting to my relentless snark over the first question each week relating to a certain Cablinasian player.... Or something...

Golf in the Middle Kingdom -  The game, including its major tours, has a bit of an obsession with the Chinese market, one that they'd be wise to get over.  Here's an item that has little to do with our mandate:

A Chinese Tycoon Denounced Xi Jinping. Now He Faces Prosecution

Of course he does... But, prosecution for what, exactly?

The party announced the expulsion of the tycoon, Ren Zhiqiang, late Thursday, and said that it had seized his assets for “serious violations of discipline and law” that included the possession of golf club memberships. Officials also took aim at Mr. Ren’s family, accusing him of “colluding with his children to accumulate wealth without restraint.”

That bold face is all mine....Of course, that last bit is odd, because I'm so old I can remember when they were singing a different tune.  But the PGA Tour should be on notice that it's strange to be promoting golf in a country where jail time is meted out for the hate crime of belonging to a golf club.  Just sayin'.

See you on Thursday, I hope.