Late Week Laments

The big one being, you know, not being in Scotland in the present moment.  There was however, a mitigating moment yesterday, when I came downstairs only to find this on the kitchen counter:

Well, never mind....  Blogger has decided to not allow me to upload photos because...  well, it's Google, so they do as they damn well please.

Upon Further Review:  I closed out of and re-opened Blogger and, problem solved:

It was supposed to be a photo of a bannoffee pie that my bride made for me in order to lessen the sting of not being in Strathpeffer this week.  We were supposed to play an event at Royal Dornoch yesterday, and I would embed a photo of Elsie's own version of that culinary classic from our 2015 visit. 

For those unfamiliar with the genre:

Banoffee Pie: a classic combination of bananas and toffee, layered in a crunchy graham cracker crust and crowned with whipped cream. You’ll fall in love!

True that!  Though to clarify, both with the pie as well as the pastry chef...

Today In Tour Life - Minneapolis seemed a good call in 2019, though less so in 2020.  From Nick Piastowski's three things feature:

Richy Werenski leads

Richy Werenski is ranked 248th in the world. No player was better on Thursday.

Werenski birdied half of his holes on his way to an 8-under 63, his best score ever in relation to par. He was one shot ahead of Michael Thompson, two shots ahead of seven golfers, including Tony Finau and Matthew Wolff, and three shots better than 10 golfers.

“Yeah, irons were really good,” Werenski said. “I definitely could have hit it better off the tee – I found some fairways – but wasn’t really solid with the driver. But the irons were really good, so I sort of made up for it and putted pretty darn well.”

 Hopefully the chase pack will have some show ponies.

Tony Finau, Matthew Wolff contending

Wolff, the defending champion, made eight birdies, and Finau, a week removed from holding a share of the lead through two rounds at the Memorial, made seven on their way to 6-under 65s. Joining them at two back were Max Homa, Ryan Moore, Xinjun Zhang, Nick Watney and Bo Hoag. 

At 5-under were Kyle Stanley, Brendon de Jonge, Talor Gooch, Patrick Rodgers, Bronson Burgoon, Robert Garrigus, Charl Schwartzel, Aaron Baddeley, Chris Kirk and Bo Van Pelt, who made a hole in one on the 195-yard, par-3 8th. Seven golfers were at 4-under, and 14 golfers were at 3-under.

 Nick Watney?  Didn't he die a few weeks back?  Oh, never mind.... 

One of course can only laugh at that reference to Finau's 36-hole lead, because that's burying the lede on steroids.  This guy is dancing around it as well:

After parting with longtime caddie, Tony Finau shoots 65 with coach on his bag

Last week, he was the 36-hole co-leader at the Memorial, but stumbled on the weekend, including a 78 on Sunday to finish T-8.

A stumble?  He walked off the 11th green on Saturday at -3 for the day (-12 for his first 47 holes of the week), and as I recall tied for the lead.  He then proceeded to play the remaining 25 holes in +10, which seems to this observer as more than a stumble...

Back to Nick who informs us that this guy is out, but not until an epic Tin Cup homage:

Dustin Johnson is out

Dustin Johnson, at No. 4, the highest-ranked player in the field, played his first six holes at 1-under. He played his last six holes at 1-under.

He played his middle six holes at 9-over and finished at 7-over 78 – tied for last in the 156-player field – before withdrawing from the tournament later in the afternoon with a back injury.

Johnson was 4-over on the par-5 18th.

He hit a drive down the right side of the fairway. From 198 yards out, he hit his approach into the water in front of the green. Penalty and drop. He hit another into the water. Penalty and drop. He hit another into the water. Penalty and drop.

He hit his eighth shot to within 3 feet of the cup. He tapped in for a 9.

“Hit a great drive on 18, and we only had like 199 to cover from where I was, 208 flag. It was a perfect 6-iron,” Johnson said. “Hit it right at it, and never once did I think it was going to go in the water. That never crossed my mind when it was in the air. Just went in the water, and I hit two more shots in the water, then I hit a good one, made a tap-in for a 9.”

Sometimes a ShotLink graphic says it all more succinctly:

Brian Wacker poses this query:

What’s wrong with Dustin Johnson?

Alas, I'd need a far bigger blog to go there...

Now, I for one am prepared to accept that there's an issue with the guy in light of this:

But in his next start, last week’s Memorial Tournament, Johnson shot stunning back-to-back eight-over 80s at Muirfield Village, where he beat just one player in the field.

Do we know whether he was anywhere near a Jet-ski?  And by Jet-ski I quite obviously refer to that which Jay McInerney dubbed Bolivian marching powder...

Because when a guy has a physical issue and plays like a 12-handicap, usually then mention it:

Johnson made no reference to his back in the post-round interview before pulling out of

the tournament 30 minutes later. 

What it means for him moving forward remains to be seen. Johnson has twice won at TPC Southwind, site of next week’s WGC-FedEx St. Jude Invitational, and the 2019-’20 season’s first and only major, the PGA Championship, is the following week. Though it’s unlikely he will miss any time. 

“He absolutely plans to play,” Johnson’s agent, David Winkle, told Golf Digest in a text message. “He was experiencing some tightness in his back, which requires rest and treatment, both of which he’ll get the next few days."

Well, yes, he has arranged a few days off for himself....

In contrast to DJ's play on that 18th hole, this guy accomplished that which DJ could only dream of.  Though this header might be a bit overwrought:

This is it, this is the greatest par save in the history of professional golf

I imagine the South Korean to be livid...Who in their right mind would want to hole out from 250 yards and have it be for par?

Other Notable WD's - You'd like to think that folks would treat playing opportunities with a little more respect, given how scarce they are in the present moment.  First up for our snark is this increasingly annoying guy:

Tony Romo made his Korn Ferry Tour debut at the Price Cutter Charity Championship this week. It was over as soon as it started.

Romo, the former Dallas Cowboys quarterback and current CBS Sports analyst, withdrew from the Price Cutter Championship after just four holes on Thursday, citing a wrist injury. 

Speaking to media after dropping out, Romo says he believes he has torn cartilage in his wrist.

“If I could hold the golf club, I’d still be out there playing,” Romo said. “I just can’t.”

Romo dropped out of the celebrity-driven American Century Championship two weeks ago with the same injury. Getting a field invite through sponsor exemption, Romo said he was still able to hit his driver “80 to 90 percent” early in the week with the ailment.

Tony, let's not waste time with pleasantries, to take a spot in this event makes you a dick.  To do so when you can't hold the golf club, well what comes after dick?

These guys have nowhere to play, and you're taking a slot from them...What is wrong with these people?  Whatever the arguments about generating buzz in normal times, can we not set aside the clown show in 2020?  We've seen the guy play, and he's very good... for a football broadcaster.  Guys are trying to salvage careers, and Tony's admiring his chiseled good looks in the mirror...

The good news?  With social justice patches on uniforms and kneeling for the national anthem, there's really no incentive to watch any more football....

This one generates more sympathy, but this piece is unintentionally hilarious:

The European Tour has provided support to Andrew Johnston after the Englishman withdrew following nine holes of the British Masters on Wednesday, citing unease over

the post-lockdown environment. 

The event at Close House, which marks the resumption of the European Tour, is being played in a strict and biosecure format where no one is allowed beyond the course or hotel. “I’m struggling to get my head around it all,” Johnston said. “One minute I’m coming out of lockdown, going out for dinner, and then the next I’m back in lockdown in a hotel room.” 

Although the Tour will not comment specifically on individual player cases because of confidentiality agreements, it is understood the chief medical officer, Dr Andrew Murray, has offered assistance to Johnston. 

The Tour said: “We offer all of our players a comprehensive programme to support their mental health and wellbeing. This includes a mental health support hotline, which operates 24 hours a day, 365 days of the year. We are also aware that everyone has their own unique circumstances at the moment, which is why the 2020 season is an optional one for our players.”

Sounds like they have Beef in a padded room at an undisclosed location...  Not really sure you've done him any favors with that.

I'm also unclear what it means to characterize a golf season as "optional"?  I mean, it's always optional, no?

Johnston explained he considered not entering the British Masters . “I’ve been on-off saying I’m going to play, I’m not going to play, for months,” the 31-year-old said. “I kept changing my mind. But being here and being confined to the hotel, confined to the course and not being able to bring my family is ultimately not what I want and not how I want to live my life. 

“We like to travel as a family and it’s just been very difficult to get my head around being stuck in those two places and then coming out and trying to compete. It just doesn’t feel right. I tried to come up here but I was leaving it later and later. I came up Tuesday morning to try to be away as small a time as possible, but it’s not good prep for a tournament and it shows I don’t really want to be here.

There is nothing wrong with not wanting to be there, and to this observer that doesn't require a mental health intervention.  That said, if you don't want to be there, it's preferable to make that determination before, you know, being there....  It's just another precious playing opportunity that's been squandered.

In contrast to Beef, this Limey can make a decision.  Though this unrelated item clues us in:

This ‘extreme diet’ has Eddie Pepperell losing major weight

Did someone say something about losing majors?

Eddie Pepperell 'not interested' in travelling for US PGA and US Open

Really?

“Under the current restrictions on travelling to America, I won’t go because you have to quarantine for two weeks going out there and that’s not something I am interested in

doing,” said Pepperell. “I am still on the entry list in case they change the rules, but I am not interested in spending two weeks in quarantine.

“Some players have clearly gone out there and not abided by the rules, but should I play this event there is no way that I can do that if there is anyone that cares to look at it, they would know I have broken the rules and I am not going to do that. The fact that it is in San Francisco and it is so far away I am not that interested in taking a 12-hour flight, that is way down on the list of priorities.”

I guess it really is optional.

On the one hand, we've all seen the wide range of reactions to the pandemic, and have all learned that we have to let others chart their own course through it.

But how does one explain a world class athlete that just can't be bothered doing that which is necessary to play in his sport's biggest events?  I'm as pissed as he that there's no UK major this year and we can all readily stipulate that it's a major inconvenience for the foreign players not based in the U.S., but it makes it hard to take him seriously as a player.   And I have to ask, would the Ryder Cup have been too inconvenient as well?

Strange times.

I'm Gonna Need a Bigger Blog - I know I already used that bit, but new material is such an inconvenience....  But I think you'll agree with the bigger point:

13 more of the dumbest things in golf

For those keeping a scorecard at home, this is the third such installment, so we're at thirty-nine in total.  Though it's hard to imagine this didn't make either of those prior lists:

Cozying up to the beverage cart girl

Yes, you’re absolutely right. That lovely 20-something young lady is absolutely in love with your 40-, 50-, 60-something pot-bellied self. Yeesh. It is perfectly fine to be polite and engage in conversation, but stop the overt flirting tactics and realize that $10 tip you dropped in order to impress her is as useful as setting money on fire. Stop being creepy, order a drink, chat for a moment and drop her a couple of bucks for the effort. Proper, as the Brits might say.

Cart Girls and the 3metoo era are an interesting fit...  You call it sexual assault whereas it feels more like entrapment to this observer...

It's not all that amusing a list, though I do hope one of the earlier lists included iron headcovers...

Your Long Read of the Day - You'll want to read this in its entirety, a joint interview from Down Under with architectural partners Mike Clayton and Geoff Ogilvy.  Here, they're asked how they came to know of each other:

So, Mike, when did you first come across the young Geoff Ogilvy? 

MC: It must have been 1995. Geoff led the Vic Open after three days. That was the first time I saw him, or knew about him. I remember writing in the paper that I’d never seen him play but he must be good if he is beating some the players who were there that week.  

Then he shot 78 in the last round, the same day I three-putted the last green to miss the play-off by one.

And when did you, Geoff, first become aware of this eccentric figure who was out there wandering in the mist, ranting and raving about courses? 

GO: I knew who he was because I had been at every tournament in Melbourne since around 1980. Mike played in them all and he was pretty high-profile at the time. I know I got his autograph at least once. But never at the end of a bad round.

MC: (Laughs) I was the worst. If I had a bad finish, I was throwing clubs and balls around. 

GO: Anyway, I started to see Mike when I was hanging around at the Victoria Golf Club, where Mike’s design company was doing some work. And it went from there.

When did it become clear you were on the same wavelength, at least in course design? 

GO: I don’t know if I actually was. When I was a kid it was all about playing golf. It wasn’t until I started going to other places that I realised Mike was right in what he was saying: The courses in Melbourne are really good, everywhere else is kind of sh*t. 

Having said that, most of the time I had no idea what he was talking about when he started ranting and raving about bad golf holes. But gradually I started to get it. He helped me look at holes and courses in a different way. And from a different perspective. Not many look at golf the way Mike does.

For example? 

GO: He would say something like, “That bunker shouldn’t be there. It should be over there instead”. And I’d be, “Well, what’s the difference?” Like most people do, I thought the bunker looked fine where it was. So he would explain to me how, if I challenged the bunker on the other side I would get a better angle into the green. He would point that out on basically every hole we ever played back then (laughs). 

That was the period when Mike was playing less and getting more and more into course design. So he was looking for that sort of thing when he was out there rather than just playing holes as they were. Anyway, he obviously knew what he was talking about. And I was happy to listen. It was interesting stuff. And I got more and more into it.

Why are you still here?  I thought we agreed that you'd go read the entire interview, and I'll see you back here on Monday.