Thursday Threads

Another slow day, but we'll make of it what we can.

Zurich InZanity - Kevin Casey has the definitive list of walk-up music, which Shack summarizes thusly:

Zurich Walk-Up Warning: Metallica Leader In Clubhouse, But Varner/Garrigus Lead In Most Clever Division

Four teams chose Metallica, which hardly seems conducive to a silky-smooth backswing...  But talk about burying the lede, three of them chose Enter Sandman, which should have been on the excluded list after Mariano's retirement.  Show some originality, boys....

The incidence of hip-hop is deeply troubling, as are the many "artists" of which your humble blogger is blissfully ignorant.  Lil Pump?  

As for this one....

Harold Varner III/Robert Garrigus 

Ebony and Ivory 

Paul McCartney and Stevie Wonder

Varner seems a bit low on the Ebony scale, but they don't get more Ivory than Garrigus.  Still, I'd probably prefer Kendrick Lamar to that treacly mess....

And for those with an extremely high threshold for pain, Shack links to this regrettable video.

Balls, Said The Queen: I don't know what he's smoking, but I do hope he brought enough to share:

Spieth said he didn’t look at any leaderboards that Sunday at Augusta National.

Beginning the round nine shots off the lead, he just wanted to play loose and go as low as possible. 

He nearly pulled off one of the most remarkable comebacks in major championship history, finishing just two shots behind winner Patrick Reed. Since he was oblivious to it all in real time, Spieth went back and watched the Sunday coverage. He came away thinking that round could have been even more special. 

“I actually thought I truly could have shot 59 without doing much more other than making a few more putts,” Spieth said Wednesday. “I put myself in opportunities on each hole to shoot 59 that day, which is really, really cool.”

By a few more he means five more.... He shot 64 on Sunday at Augusta, which is pretty damn good in my book.  But it didn't resemble a 59 in any reasonable analysis.

And then this:

Spieth said he wanted to learn from the film review. The three-time major winner felt like his swing held up at Augusta National better than it ever has under the gun. He was impressed with how well he hit the driver, especially late in the round when he could sense that he actually had a chance to win the tournament.

You mean like on No. 18?  Yanno, the one that left you 350 yards out?  I get that these guys need to saty positive, but WTF! 

Tiger 2.0 - Or should that be 4.0?  There have been a number of Tiger-as-actual-human-being stories recently, most of which I haven't felt compelled to blog.  There was the meeting with the Parkland survivor at the Honda, for instance, and one at the Masters we'll get so presently.  It's nice to se ehim reaching out, but there's also the sense of Steiny pulling the strings just out of the camera frame.

But, whatever the motivation, we can all agree that we're glad this one happened:

A man who fulfilled a dream to meet Tiger Woods at the Masters earlier this month died of cancer on Monday, his daughter announced on Twitter. 

Shane Caldwell, who was living with stage 4 lung cancer after having survived two bouts with colon cancer, had the opportunity to meet Woods just prior to the opening round of the Masters at Augusta National on April 5.

Which leads nicely into today's story:

Woods gave a junior clinic on Tuesday at his home course, Medalist GC, in Jupiter, Fla., and one of the attendees came all the way from Nepal: 18-year-old Pratima Sherpa. 

ESPN chronicled the day, and Sherpa is quite a story. She has lived her entire life in a maintenance shed off the third hole at a golf club in Nepal, as her parents work on the course's grounds crew. Through that humble upbringing, Sherpa has grown up around the game and is hoping to become Nepal's first professional female golfer.

Is it real or is it Memorex?  You make the call....

Stormin' Norman -  Another ode to the U. of Oregon's Norman Xiong:

But then they announced Norman Xiong – a 14-year-old man-child, decked head-to-toe in Nike gear, pushing 6-foot-1 and 185 pounds. In the span of a few seconds, he

nonchalantly pegged it, waggled his club and then smoked a 330-yard drive, center cut.

“When you evaluate, you’re looking for a moment of clarity, like, Wow,” Martin says, “and I had that from the very first shot.” 

“For his age, it was just so massively different – like that’s the real deal, right there,” Martin says. “I didn’t leave his side. It was selfish, but I just loved watching him play. There was a joy about him, and it was easy. I couldn’t stop watching.” 

Xiong’s play during his sophomore season has been so awe-inspiring that college coaches and players are whispering that they’re competing against a future world No. 1. Blessed with a unique combination of power and touch, humbleness and swagger, he’s the most tantalizing 19-year-old prospect in golf since … well, that’s up for debate.

 The NCAA's are just around the corner....

Brandel, Unplugged - Frequently wrong, but never in doubt, Brandel Chamblee pens a bizarre homage to driving accuracy.  I mean, truly bizarre....

The top-five players in the world (Dustin Johnson, Justin Thomas, Jordan Spieth, Jon

Rahm and Justin Rose) rank 128th, 126th, 108th, 127th and 100th, respectively, in driving accuracy. The top-five players in the world are pitiful at what Ben Hogan called the single most important shot in golf. Hogan looked at his target through a scope, these players use a scattergun. Yes, I know we now have something called strokes gained: off the tee, but given the current status of the game that is just a metric to tell us who is the longest, straightest and most crooked.

The hardest thing to do in golf is to hit the ball long AND straight.

So, if that's the hardest thing to do in the game, you're probably glad that we have that metric to measure it?   But, in a plot twist I didn't see coming, it's all Dr. Mackenzie's fault:

The most popular golf course architect remains Alister MacKenzie, a man who died over 80 years ago. MacKenzie’s guiding philosophy was to build courses that brought the greatest pleasure to the greatest number and his work, aesthetic gems like Cypress Point and Augusta National, built on ocean cliffs and on a former nursery farm, have gained immense and lasting fame.

But perhaps more enduring, and I argue more damaging to the professional game, is his philosophy of design to appeal to the greatest number.

Wanting to imitate links golf, MacKenzie favored little rough, few fairway bunkers, the imitation of nature for aesthetic appeal and rolling greens and surrounds. Testing professional golfers was never the primary objective. Understandable given that when MacKenzie was designing golf courses the game was, besides being much harder than it is now, relatively new in the United States. Making it more popular was the goal.

OK, we're all struggling with how to contain these beasts on Tour, but given how few have actually played Augusta National or Cypress Point, I'm thinking that trashing the Good Doctor is a red herring.  Besides, Macdonald would be the better target for his ire, or perhaps Dornoch-bred Donald Ross.

Having taken Mackenzie to the woodshed, he then turns to rehabilitating the unlamented Joe Dey:

“From the moment I met him I could tell he was in charge of the game of golf,” Jack Nicklaus once said about Dey. 

Dey shepherded golf in the United States and almost single-handedly instituted a uniform code of rules for the USGA and the R&A and helped start five USGA championships and four international team competitions. Beyond that, he was the man in charge of setting up the courses for the U.S. Open.

His course setups were not built around consensus, they were driven by one simple overriding philosophy: to find the one player who was most in control of his emotions, mind and golf shots. U.S. Opens were often punishing to the best players and unforgiving, both off of the tee and around the green. There was no thought to the recovery, which is by definition bowing to the next shot. U.S. Opens were about great execution of the shot at hand, right here and now. The demands of precision were intimidating but they made the best players think. Hogan, in particular, thought longer and harder than anyone about the demands of a U.S. Open, and conquering them.

Egads, does anyone remember those U.S. Opens?  They were dreary, one-dimensional affairs at best, but Brandel must be an Andy North fan.

Look, it's entirely reasonable to discuss the course set-up and other issues, and he's not only one that wants the USGA to return to twenty-yard wide fairways and 6 inch rough.  But while he notes that it's not the players at fault, he seems to have troubling grasping this cause-and-effect thing:

Because golf course setups have become far more forgiving – owing to the MacKenzie philosophy, complaints and suggestions of the players and to the social media chorus that we want more birdies ­– players seek to launch shots as high as they can, with as little spin as they can, with as long of a driver as they can handle. Distance has become a means to an end so much, that many are crying for a roll back of the ball when all that needs to happen is to roll back to an era when one man had the guts and the acuity to not listen to the players, or the pervading philosophy of fairness. 

Imagine if the U.S. Open and other events returned to this demanding philosophy. Players out of necessity would choose balls that spin more, heads that were smaller so they could shape shots, shots that would start lower for more control and golf swings would evolve to find the balance of distance and accuracy. In time an athlete would come along who could solve the puzzle of how to hit the ball far and straight.

Players are not hitting the ball so far today because that’s the way the game is going, they are doing so because the set ups of golf courses do not make them think.

Brandel, that's one big heap o'crazy, my friend.  If Hogan were on Tour today, he'd be bombing and gouging it with the rest of the boys...

Narrower courses with deeper rough would lead the players to higher-spinning balls?   And smaller heads?  has anyone checked as to whether he's running a fever?

Sorry  for going long with this item, but it's really out there.

Steph & Tony, Call Your Offices - This is more to my liking:

Athletes from the NFL and NBA can often be found spending their off days on the golf course, and occasionally even in a pro Tour event (see Steph Curry and Tony Romo).

Now they'll have a chance to decide official bragging rights in a new charity golf event.

Turner Sports and CAA Sports announced the new tournament that will pit football stars and basketball stars against each other in a one-day team event akin to the Ryder Cup. 

Green Bay Packers QB Aaron Rodgers and Chris Paul of the Houston Rockets will host the event. 

"Golf is a favorite sport of mine and I'm thrilled to be hosting this unique tournament where NBA and NFL athletes will trade the court and field for the green," said Paul. "Competitiveness is essential in our respective sports and I look forward to competing alongside and against the best athletes while raising money for charity."

Maybe you guys didn't get the memo, but these days we stay in our lanes... Yanno, otherwise we get accused of cultural appropriation. 

Alan, Asked - This installment of his mailbag starts a bit slowly, but then gathers steam nicely:

What would Ben Hogan's "walk up" song be if he were playing Nola this week? #AskAlan —@ScottyGman23 

It would have to be elegant and understated, with a hint of menace. I'm thinking Beethoven's 5th. A few folks have asked what mine would be. That's easy: "F--- Tha Police."

Alan, I think there have been two cop shootings in the last couple of days, why would you go there?  As for Hogan, the posing of the question is the most trenchant criticism of the event I've yet heard.  Golf was deadly serious business for The Hawk, because one had to win to eat.

 The obligatory Ryder Cup queries:

Does Alex Levy play his way to a Captain's Pick and be the French connection on the European Ryder Cup side this year? #AskAlan —Nick (@tweetnickpt)

Levy's win in Morocco certainly adds to the intrigue; he's now 9th on the Euro points

list, with the top four automatically qualifying. (He has virtually no shot to be one of the four who qualify off the World list.) Thomas Bjorn will also have four captain's picks and he has stated his desire to have at least one French player compete on home soil. But Levy, 27, would represent a huge risk as a pick: he has never played a Masters or made a cut at the Open Championship or finished better than 27th at any major. In seven career WGCs he cracked the top 30 only once. But the guy does have five victories on the Euro tour, and perhaps the home crowd could inspire him to great things. Given the strength of the U.S. team, Bjorn's picks will be crucial and it is going to be fascinating to see what he does with this French twist.

It's always a bit silly to address such a question out of context, because it isn't a yes or no issue...  The question is, if not the Frog, who then?   

Who would you rather see in a Ryder Cup singles match: Reed vs. Poulter or Reed vs. McIlroy II? #AskAlan —Tony (@ducksphan) 

Poulter for sure. Reed took McIlroy's manhood at Augusta, and I'm afraid a rematch could get ugly. A Poulter-Reed match would be utterly epic, two imperfect golfers in a death match like no other.

I respectfully disagree.  Rory is the far more significant player, therefore the long-term implications of Rory-Reed III make for the more compelling drama.

I find this a category error:

Can "tiger" be used as a verb? Meaning to unnecessarily change an already excellent swing that's generating multiple wins. Example: Lydia Ko, with Leadbetter's help, has tigered things up so badly that she's a ghost of her former dominant self. —Ron (@PressingPause) 

I've been bummed about Ko's struggles – she remains one of my favorite players and people in golf. Her situation is made more complicated by overbearing parents, but she shares a key personality trait with Tiger, and Padraig Harrington, and Ian Baker-Finch and others: the insatiable need for improvement that drove them to the mountaintop doesn't end once they've arrived. They can't stop tinkering and trying to get better, because that's what they've done their entire life. The idea that Tiger could've just done "maintenance" with Butch Harmon from 2000 until the end of time fundamentally misjudges who Woods is: his favorite maxim has always been, "If you're not getting better you're getting worse." Obviously even the most talented players can lose their way, and right now Ko is in a maze, trying to feel her way out. But if "tiger" is a verb, the definition should be to chase greatness, with no guarantees.

First and foremost, was Tiger so diminished a player under Hank's tutelage?  My understanding is that his Butch swing put too much pressure on that left knee, so it had to be changed.

But if you're inclined to making up verbs, I think Lydia is more accurately described as Luking things up than Tigering...  She was so short off the tee, and like her hero Luke not all that straight, that she had to try to narrow that gap.  But with all the firing she's done, perhaps it's the parents that need to be put out to pasture...

Hey Alan, how do you place the Players on your mind map? Where does it feature in your ranking of golf tournaments outside the majors and why? #AskAlan —Anand (@SportaSmile) 

To be quite honest, I'm not sure I've thought about the Players once in the last 11 months. It's a very good tournament, with a stellar field and fun, quirky venue. It's definitely in the first tier of tournaments below the majors. Ranking the non-majors is tricky because the venues of the Northern Trust and BMW change year to year. So, for the purposes of this exercise, I'm using the 2018 courses. Here's my ranking:

1.Los Angeles Open

2.Memorial

3.Pebble

4.Players

5.Match Play

6.Northern Trust

7.WGC Mexico City

8.BMW

9.Dell

10.HSBC

I'm sorry, what is Dell and how does it differ from the Match Play?  I have a begrudging respect for The Players, and enjoyed the golf course much more than I expected to.  But I liked it far more before the FedEx Cup....

This one's gonna leave a mark:

#AskAlan Is parity good for the PGA Tour? I think it needs a marquee player winning at least a third of the time. See the Tiger Era —Nick (@BladyNick) 

Depends on who is doing the winning – I don't hear anyone pining for the Vijay Singh epoc. In an individual sport it does help train the attention of casual fans to have a Yankees-like franchise everyone is gunning for. So many good young players are in their primes it's hard to see one guy breaking from the pack, but it certainly would help clarify the storylines if two or three could emerge.

I'm thinking we'll end up feeling the same way about the Patrick Reed era....

See ya tomorrow.