Midweek Masters Musings

With the local weather suddenly turned hostile, a fellow's thoughts turn to Augusta, GA....

The Practice Round That Shook The World - Secure the perimeter!  I kid you not, that's the lede:

Tuesday morning's buzz exceeded any typical practice round day: Tiger Woods and Phil

Mickelson in the same practice round group? As partners? It would have been unthinkable during the height of the pair's icy rivalry. But although Tiger and Phil are among the favorites at this year's Masters — one thing that hasn't changed over the decades — their Tuesday morning hits-and-giggles session was the latest sign that the golf world has turned upside down. 

"I never thought I'd see the day," Rory McIlroy said in his afternoon press conference with a grin. "Tiger and Phil playing a practice round at Augusta." 

Mickelson has long been famous for his Tuesday games, but Woods (to the best of our knowledge) has never shown interest in joining. His presence is a sign of the times, of a chummier Woods, and perhaps also of the pull of Fred Couples, Augusta's ageless wonder, who played with Woods on Monday and again joined on Tuesday. Thomas Pieters rounded out the group, the lanky Belgian serving as mystery fourth. 

To hear Woods tell it, the pairing was a simple case of schedules aligning. "Phil was off yesterday, just came in here to register, and he asked Joey if we were free for a game," he said. "And we were free yesterday, but he was taking the day off. So Phil and I talked about it and decided to play today."

Well, he wouldn't have asked Stevie such a thing for sure...  But I'd recommend steering clear of Tiger for your Masters pool, as he seems to have peaked a tad early: 

When Woods arrived at his eagle try, he studied it intently, then touched it down the slope. From a distance, it looked as though the ball had come to a stop just short of the hole — but then it disappeared, and something familiar happened: a Tiger Woods fist pump, and a cheeky grin to the crowd, whose roars echoed through the pines and across the rest of the course. 

Two holes later, Woods did it again: another eagle after launching a glorious long iron from the sloping fairway at 15 that came to rest five feet below the hole. He followed that with by sticking his approach on 16 to kick-in range for another birdie. "Tiger was brilliant," Pieters said.

Strange daze for sure, as Phil had this later:

“I texted him a while ago when he was playing at Valspar that it felt like it was a different time continuum because I found myself pulling so hard for him,” Mickelson said. “It was unusual. And I find that I want him to play well, and I’m excited to see him play so well.”

 Enough already... You two wanna get a room?

But inquiring minds want to know, what the hell kind of shirt is Phil rocking?  I think this guy nailed it:

Did you see this from the pond on No. 16?

Synchronized Skipping

Of course, folks are getting way in front of facts on the ground:

Fred Couples, the 1992 Masters winner, speculated that it might not be the last time they’re sharing a tee box this week. 

“Come Sunday, they may be paired together [again],” said Couples, who with Belgium’s Thomas Pieters was handed a drubbing by the U.S. odd couple in a four-ball match. “They’re playing extremely well and they love the course, and they’re going to do very, very well.”

Shouldn't say things like that out loud...  Now if it happens, it'll be as the first group out.   

He's Baaack - Playing for the first time since 2013, Tiger details his necessary adjustments:

“It’s pretty funny, it is my first event in probably two-and-a-half to three years on bent

grass,” Woods said before a full Masters interview room Tuesday. “At home, my grass is Bermuda, and it’s crazy. The ball rolls very true. It doesn’t bounce all over the place and it’s not being swept away with grain. And it’s like a pool table.”

I'm surprised that his backyard practice area doesn't have a bent-grass green.  But this we cam all relate to:

“Mainly I just had to get used to the feel of playing off of a lot of uneven lies, different shot shapes I’ve been playing, and in Florida hitting the ball low all the time,” he said before explaining that he also has had to change his wind-induced lower Florida trajectory.

Man, he thinks of everything:

And then on top of that, how to drop the ball

You mean from hazards?  Especially after hitting the pin?  Hey, we kid because we love... 

Yours And Everyone Else's - I'm assuming that none of us need this:

Masters 2018: Our 8 favorite Masters pairings

Gee, which could those be?

10:53 a.m.: Sergio Garcia, Justin Thomas, Doc Redman (a)

The amateurs who qualify for the Masters always provide a level of intrigue, and that's

certainly the case with Doc Redman in 2018. After finishing 62nd out of 64 in the U.S. Amateur's stroke-play qualifying, the Clemson undergrad put on an incredible performance in match play, eventually winning an epic championship tilt over Doug Ghim on the 37th hole. Winning the low amateur this week would be another underdog story of sorts for Redman, as he ranks 34th in the World Amateur Golf Ranking, well behind fellow 2018 Masters amateur participants Joaquin Niemann (No. 1) and Ghim (No. 4).

The traditional pairing of the defender with the U.S. Amateur Champion.... There are some juicy pairings, Phil, Rickie and Kooch doesn't suck, but it's the friggin' Masters.....they're all pretty damn good.  Even the Ted Potter, Wesley Bryan and Austin Cook group has me excited...

 Lucky Stiffs - I've waiting for this to show up online, Alan Shipnuck's feature on the lucky 28:

It's just a little blue ticket stub, maybe an inch square, emblazoned with a number in a

simple black font. But all week long at every Masters, reporters carry this talisman around as if it were one of Willy Wonka's golden tickets. This stub represents an entry into the golf world's most freighted lottery: the media outing the day after the tournament ends, when 28 lucky bastards are selected to play Augusta National, with the pins still in their traditional spots from Masters Sunday and the pines practically echoing with the roars from the day before. The interlopers are treated like members for the day, allowed to drive down Magnolia Lane and change shoes in the Champions Locker Room. The club even provides a caddie, gratis.

"It has to be the greatest perk in the entire sportswriting racket," says longtime Sports Illustrated contributor John Garrity, who played in 2010 and can still wax poetic about his majestic second shot on the par-5 15th hole, which landed three feet from the hole. It's so nice that you might fly to Augusta twice. In 2013, Sports Illustrated head of video Ian Orefice wrapped up his Masters workweek on Friday and winged home to New York City. On that Sunday at high noon the lottery winners were posted, and Orefice's cell phone immediately began to melt. Did he ever consider not flying back to Augusta to play?

"Are you f---ing crazy, man?" he asks. "As soon as I got the call, I started bugging out, frantically calling a travel agent and throwing clothes in a bag. My wife thought someone had died."

Just read it...you can thank me later.

Alan, Asked -  A Masters mailbag, and it gets a tad weird...  But there's some good stuff to begin:

If Tiger wins #15 this week, given what he will have had to overcome, would you put him above Jack on the all-time list?! #AskAlan — @BcBeany 

I phrase it like this: Tiger is the most dominant golfer of all time, Jack is the greatest. If you take the 2000 Woods vs. the 1972 Nicklaus and they play 10 times I think Tiger wins six of them. But Jack has still had the greater career when you factor in longevity, consistency and the all-time legends he had to fend off, to say nothing of the class, dignity and sportsmanship with which he conducted himself. If Tiger wins this Masters it's not only the greatest victory of his career but, quite simply, one of the most incredible achievements in sports history. It still doesn't change the Woods-Nicklaus calculus, because 18 vs. 15 is a massive difference. Three majors is an entire career; there are loads of guys in the Hall of Fame who won three majors or less. Of course, if Tiger wins this Masters he resumes his ascent of Mt. Nicklaus, and we'll have to revisit this question for a good long while.

This to me isn't especially interesting right now....  Save it for another time.

But this is:

Which lefty has a better chance, Bubba or Phil?? — @thegolfblog 

Oooh, tough one. Notwithstanding a couple of "others" from Phil in Houston, both are in good form and have a special affinity for Augusta National. It's basically a push, but Mickelson has a little bit more guile and moxie, so I'll take him by a whisker.

Which of course means that your winner will be Brian Harman.... 

Which Englishman has the best chance amongst Rose, Casey and Poulter? — Anil (@anuragi) 

Rose, for sure. If you look at the stats he has played Augusta National better than almost any other non-winner over the last decade, including a pair of runner-up finishes. Casey is a definitely a threat, too, but I think Poulter is going to run out of energy/emotion at some point.

Which means your winner will be Matthew Fitzpatrick....  though Tommy Fleetwood might have a chip on his shoulder due to his omission from the list.

Who do you think the next player is to get an official membership a la Jack and Arnie (if any)? — Shosh (@ShoshEAK) 

Crenshaw is the logical choice – everyone loves Gentle Ben, and he already does some consulting with the club about course changes and architectural issues. I could see Phil getting a jacket, too. He's a preeminent schmoozer and already part of the in-crowd with the Cypress Point/Pebble Beach Co. ownership clique, which has a lot of cross-pollination with the ANGC membership.

Ick!  Don't make me think of these folks cross-pollinating..... 

Now we start going of the reservation:

Ever seen a bird at Augusta? #AskAlan - Garrett (@public_golfer) … Have you ever seen a squirrel on the grounds? I've been 10 times. Never one. What sorcery is this? — @Luke_Boatright … Follow-up question: Is Augusta National the real-life Westworld? — Garrett

Now that you mention it, I don't think I *have* ever seen a squirrel or a bird on the grounds. It wouldn't surprise me if ANGC uses high-tech means to drive out the critters, much like my crazy old aunt who installed high-pitched sensors to keep the deer from eating her roses in her garden; she was too deaf to hear the pulses but they gave me a headache. But it also wouldn't surprise me if more nefarious, lethal, Spackler-like treatments are employed to keep any critters from intruding upon the obsessively maintained artificial reality. If that's the case, I hope the birds and squirrels rise up and fight back, much like the fetching heroines of Westworld.

OK, we don't get too many Spackler references this week, so we've got that going for us....

This year's Masters is being hyped as possibly one of the best ever. Tiger! Spieth found his putter! Bubba! Day & Lefty! Rory is back! JT! DJ! This all means we will probably end up with a Schwartzel/Willett type year, doesn't it? Alex Noren is going to ruin everything. — @Razorac

I fear you're right. This has been such an epic season so far and there are so many delicious storylines converging we can't possibly get the Masters we want and deserve. Noren is a great call on the prototypical buzzkill winner. Gawd help us all.

Fair enough, as I sort of riffed on this theme above, and one of the writers (it might have been Shipnuck) suggested Yuta Ikeda for similar reasons....

But while the B-word is appropriate for Danny Willett, it's amusing that the questioner would associate it with Charl.  That was one of the wildest Sudays ever, with so many show ponies in contention, and he birdied that last four holes to eke out the win.... It should be remebered more fondly.

What's your educated guess on the over/under for ANGC initiation fee and annual dues? - @Jknox_59

There's a story that has long floated around that years and years ago some dude received the coveted letter inviting him to join the club and he wrote back asking if he could pay the downstroke in two installments. He never heard back from the club. The dirty secret about the really elite golf clubs is that they're not that expensive to join; the mortgages and other large notes have long been retired. At Cypress Point, there aren't even dues, per se. The club simply takes all of the operating costs for the year, subtracts the considerable revenue generated in the pro shop and by guest fees, and then takes that amount and divides by the number of members and that's what they pay each year. Augusta National is in a different financial universe than any other club because of the zillions of dollars generated by the Masters. They don't have to charge their members anything but do it simply out of habit. I asked two people who are close friends with members what the initiation fee is and both came back with the same number: $50,000. Or, a fraction of what many new-money clubs charge.

JKnox?  I know he's a legend, but still.... Alan nails the irony that the best clubs are the cheapest....

And how's this for a segue?

We gonna see Jeff Knox this weekend? And will we ever know what he shot? #AskAlan — @Dylan_Way 

There's a 50-50 chance, as all it takes is an odd number of players to make the cut. And we *always* know what he shoots, because Knox-completists follow every hole and keep score.

Anyone unfamiliar with the legend should click through....

Who will be hitting the ceremonial tee balls in 2050? Tiger, Phil, and ... Bubba? #AskAlan — @mdstoner 

Just the first two. Hopefully. 

Who will be the next to hit a ceremonial first tee shot: Ben? Tom? Both? Someone else? — @ShootingYourAge 

That's a good duo, as both are beloved by the public and revere everything about the Masters. But they can't wait forever – Watson is already 68, and Crenshaw 66. Jack Nicklaus is still quite hearty at 78 but he has too much pride to let himself start bunting it off the tee, so I could see him calling it quits when he turns 80, thus making way for some new blood. But it might take the National Guard to get Gary Player, 82, to give up the tee box.

I'm simply hoping that Tiger can stay healthy until Shinnecock, 2050 is too far off for me...  But he nailed the Player bit.

 This is a good question:

What do you think is the closest course to Augusta a mere mortal could access? — @RoddyDG

The brilliant/revolutionary idea that Jones and MacKenzie had was to bring the linksland shot values and strategy to a parkland setting. That's why the forest of trees and rough that has sprouted up this century has been so offensive — it changes the very nature of the course. It's more brown than green but probably the most similar playing experience is MacKenzie's Royal Melbourne, which accepts guests on Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays. The green complexes and bunkering and angles are very evocative of ANGC. Of course, the club next door, Augusta CC, feels a lot like its neighbor, even though it's a Donald Ross design. And just across the state line in South Carolina is Sage Valley, which is Tom Fazio's take on Augusta National. It has a similar look and conditioning and even some bridges that are quite familiar. It's private but should be attainable for mere mortals.

Noted.

What part of Masters week do you look forward to the most? — @KevinBarton1 

It runs too long and there are lots of ill-fitting Men's Warehouse suits and the food is mediocre at best but I'm still going with the Wednesday night Golf Writers Association of America dinner. We give out the player of the year hardware and other meaningful awards, honoring contributions to the game and affability with the scribes and other virtues. The honored players turn up and, in this relaxed setting, give speeches that skew toward funny and touching. And of course we honor the best writing of the past year and give out a lifetime achievement award. This antiquated profession is under siege by various market forces, and so it's nice to come together for one night to celebrate the best of what we do.

Perhaps a bit inside baseball for most... Same here:

What's your favorite Masters sandwich? - LuisMJimenez 

Egg salad, but I open it up like a boss and add pickle slices, potato chips and Texas Pete's hot sauce. So f'ing good.

The dreaded best layer to never have question:

Who is the best player who hasn't won the Masters? — Trevor (@TVG14) 

It's a long list, with Lee Trevino at the top. (Actually, Bobby Jones and Walter Hagen would be at the top, but it's not their fault the Masters was invented too late for them to win one.) After Trevino, you can have a fun debate who should be next: McIlroy, Els or Norman? Nick Price and Payne Stewart and Padraig and Johnny Miller also deserve mentions.

The better question is who is the worst player to have won the Masters...  

Lastly, this will put you off your pimiento-cheese sandwich:

If you were going to streak at the Masters, which hole would you recommend? And how many seconds of free-wheeling birthday-suit time would one have? Also, would said streaker get tased, shot in the arm, shot in the head, or tackled? #askingforafriend — @HogansBookLied

I'm sure that in addition to SubAir the ANGC has installed a series of sod-covered trap doors throughout the property, so the streaker would simply disappear into the center of the earth. But clearly the best place to do it would be from right behind the 12th tee. In front of you is nothing but green grass and the Hogan Bridge. There are goons hiding in the weeds behind the green but if they're not paying attention you might even be able to make it back back across the Nelson Bridge and down the 13th fairway. Also, if the whole world is going to peep my junk, I want them all to be thinking, "Amen!"

On that note, I'll bid you adieu.