Midweek Musings

I went a little long in that righteous Fisking above, but it's Employee No. 2's birthday and attention must be paid...

The Wedding Planner - Not much golf involved here, but I love some of the sidebars even more....

So, where do you come out on Coldplay?  I'm the wrong guy to ask, unable to name a single tune and barely cognizant of the Gwynneth connection.  But Shack takes it upon himself to suggest the performer that should have gotten the gig:

Ivan Little details those wedding plans for the Belfast Telegraph, set for Saturday at the

beautiful Ashford Castle. 

The Sun is reporting that Coldplay is the musical choice and while I have ever reason to doubt that publication, I'm going to give them the benefit and assume the bride and groom will be serenaded by Yellow, Clocks and, gulp, Viva La Vida.

Rory you've had him perform at your foundation dinner. Furthermore, Have I Told You Lately that Someone Like You is moving Into The Mystic with this marriage, living on the Bright Side of The Road and most of all, marrying a Brown-Eyed Girl? So for this Wild Night of Crazy Love, there is only one man for this wedding: Van Morrison. 

I know, the kids will wonder who that cranky old geezer is cranking out the tunes, but you know Van and the band can still bring it. 

If nothing else, my suggestion was better than Feinstein's. (He apparently thinks you are marrying the daughter of a Long Island hedge fund billionaire.)

That last bit is true enough, though in his defense he did answer the question asked, though why start now?  

Van the Man is an inspired choice, except for the fact that he fits into that "literally dying" demographic discussed above.

Good fun.

Tiger, The Sequel -  OK, where to start....  The book?

Has Tiger fatigue set in? 

His book might be instructive. Celebrity autobiographies tend to be huge bestsellers and in the sports spectrum Tiger’s celebrity was of a magnitude that his endorsement income once ran to more than $100 million annually. Baker & Taylor, a prominent book distributor, reported that the first printing was to have been 100,000 copies, a notable number. 

Yet The 1997 Masters: My Story narrowly snuck onto the New York Times hardcover nonfiction bestseller list, debuting at No. 15 in the April 9 edition of the Times’ Book Review. And this Sunday, it will have vanished from the list altogether (though it is No. 5 on the Times’ Sports and Fitness monthly list for April, behind Tim Tebow’s Shaken, which debuted last October).

Well, it was a very boring book with horribly pedestrian title, so color me unsurprised.... but while I initially thought the Tebow comparison would have his nostrils flaring (that has to be racist, no?), this is the one he'll paste to his refrigerator:

Contrast that with Hank Haney’s book (written with Golf World editor Jaime Diaz), The Big Miss: My Years Coaching Tiger Woods, which was published in 2012. It debuted No. 1 on the Times’ print and e-book nonfiction bestseller list and No. 2 on its hardcover nonfiction list. Moreover, it remained on its lists for several weeks, and Doug Ferguson of the Associated Press reported in May 2012 that 228,000 copies were in print.

Tiger is always gracious when he sees people making money of his name.....especially that guy.

There was this announcement of some import:

HOLLISTER – Standing a few feet away from Tracey Stewart, the widow of the late Springfield native and World Golf Hall of Famer Payne Stewart, Tiger Woods said

Tuesday he has a simple job ahead of him. 

“I have to make sure I don’t screw this up,” Woods said in announcing “Payne’s Valley,” a new 18-hole course adjacent to the Buffalo Ridge site and the newest part of the Big Cedar Lodge stable of courses south of Branson. 

Woods made the trip to the Ozarks on Tuesday to make the announcement, and was joined by Bass Pro Shops founder and CEO Johnny Morris, and a group of big names in the world of golf, tourism and the state of Missouri.

You'll understand that I am simply incapable of letting this nugget pass:

Payne’s Valley is at the former site of the Murder Rock Golf Club, a John Daly course that has been closed since it was purchased by Morris in October 2013.

A John Daly course..... words I hoped never to hear.

But this is the bit that triggered the header:

Woods was challenged to a closest-to-the-pin competition Tuesday by a 10-year-old. Woods hit his first shot into the water with a sand wedge - a scene reminiscent of last year's media-day disaster – but then "stuffed" it on his next attempt.

Good days and bad days, eh?  I guess that enters the lexicon with reps and golf feels....

He's building a Par-3 course as well, which I always think is great...  But most curious is Shack's take on it all:

I'm trying to be positive, and like many, struggling to decide how much energy to give Tiger these days given the dramatics and public indifference (noted by John Strege based in part on book sales for the 1997 Masters book). But he's still Tiger and I was still excited when he Tweeted last week about a public course design unveiling.

Most of us were hoping this meant the funds had been raised for the Chicago re-imagination project near the Obama library, but it turns out this was, as Andy Johnson at FriedEgg.co predicted a few days ago, another course at Big Cedar Lodge for Johnny Morris. 

Open to the public yes, but calling it a public course with an unspecified green fee is a tad ambitious.

Unlike Geoff, I'm prepared to give Tiger as much attention and energy as needed, because it's been reliable comedy gold....

But it's his support for the Chicago project that mystifies me, as it seems a clear-cut vanity project that is ill-conceived and will likely be ill-executed.  First and foremost, they are converting two existing public golf courses into one, super-sized golf course for the sole purpose of luring the PGA Tour once every five years.  Geoff, I though I knew you...

But ask the citizens of NYC, with their $235 million sunk into Trump ferry Point, whether it's a good use of city resources...  And this is Chicago, a city that perhaps should prioritize other concerns.

And, pray tell, do we think, Geoff, that the greens fess will be lower than at Payne's Valley?

Lastly, this guy must be new to the story:

Well sure, that is if you enjoy being lied to.... Remember, Steiny has the last word, these are temporary back spasms unrelated to the back surgeries.

Asked and Answered - Some good stuff from Alan's weekly mailbag:

"Do you sense real excitement from the pros for the new format at the Zurich Classic? Or is "whatever" the predominant sentiment? #AskAlan " -- @1beardedgolfer

Well, seven of the top 10 in the World Ranking are showing up to a pretty track, so you tell me. And checking out the new team-play format is a big reason why I’m going, too. The pros might enjoy the food and feeling of a given city but what exists between the ropes is what motivates them to play a given tournament. Clearly the format has already been a home run for the tourney.

Yes, and I'm guessing the excitement will only grow and help in future years.  Life is better with a partner... you know, it gets old blaming everything on one's caddie.  Better to spread it around.

"Why do pros give away important golf balls? Putt out to win a tourney, chuck it into the crowd; ace 16 at Augusta and give it away; etc." -- Jamie (@hencheese) 

Clearly it is the recognition that they are humble servants of the fans. Or perhaps it’s a kind of offering to the golf gods, for bestowing upon them such good fortune. Or maybe when they were kids they wore orange polos and Gucci fedoras and they’re enjoying a kind of Rosebud moment. Also, they get the balls for free.

I am surprised when they give certain balls away, as I'd rather they auction them off and give the proceeds to a worthy charity.

"Don't you think TW could take 2-3 full years off to get healthy, come back and have a productive career? He'd only be Phil's age. #AskAlan" -- Dan (@djdonof)

Yeah, and maybe he can ride a rainbow to the first tee and have a unicorn as a caddie.

Dan got a far more thoughtful response than I thought the question warranted.

"How many majors does Spieth have when it's all said and done?" -- Caleb (@cjkonstan) 

Given his track record at Augusta National let’s give him two more. A U.S. Open with tough, crusty greens will suit Spieth quite well, such as Shinny (’18, ‘26), Pinehurst (’24) or Oakmont (’25). Let’s give him one of those. With his creativity and knack for scoring it’s hard to believe Spieth won’t win at least one British Open, too. So that’s six, which will stamp him as one of the greatest players of all-time.

Wow, Spieth would no doubt take that deal in a NY minute....  I'm not actually as bullish on the young man, as there's an endless supply of talent that bomb it past him.  Jordan has that useful skill of getting the ball into the hole, but it will be fun to see the arc of his career....

This one might even be the more interesting query:

"Which one happens first: Rory completing the career Grand Slam or Rickie winning any major? #AskAlan" -- Dusty (@_Greyhound_) 

Oooh, tough one. Fowler’s Sunday debacle at this Masters was a big step backward. Then again, per this question, he has four chances a year and Rory only one. But McIlroy’s Masters was both disappointing and important. He looked strangely flat at times and never really got it going across four days but still tied for 7th, his fourth straight top-10 at Augusta. He said afterward it was the most comfortable he’s felt on that stressful course. Putting is clearly important at the Masters but Sergio made two of the worst pressure-putts in recent memory, on the 70th and 72nd holes, and he still prevailed. I gotta think McIlroy will take one of the next two Masters. I’m not so sure Fowler’s breakthrough will come that quick, so I’m taking Rory.

Trick question, Alan, and you were so close to nailing it....  Not only does Rickie get four times as many opportunities, but he gets the next three.  And if he doesn't start winning with some regularity, I fear the backlash.

I'm also not as upbeat as Rory on Rory, as he seems to have perfected the art of the back door Top Ten.  This year may have felt different to him, but it didn't look any different to anyone else....  

But it's fun to speculate...  But a viewer warning, '62 Mets and all.

It's Not You, It's Her - What's happened to our little girl?  It's all just gobe pear-shaped since she ditched the eyeglasses....

It turns out that the caddie sacking was even stranger than known at the time:

Following the split, Matthews spoke with Golf Digest/Golf World senior writer and Golf

Channel insider Tim Rosaforte about the decision. 

"In all honesty, there is no communication in the whole camp. You never know anything or are told anything," said Matthews. "The agent [Michael Yim of IMG] called me on the Monday after Palm Springs and said, 'She needed a change, we’re going with somebody else, but you can caddie in Hawaii.' 

"I’m like well, never in 19 years have I been fired, and I’m still working for the person. What was so strange for me, we worked unbelievably well in Hawaii, the communication and everything was just phenomenal."

That sound enjoyably awkward, but she actually did play well...  Of course, in a caddie-player relationship, the caddie, like the husband in a marriage, is always the last to know....

Though in all fairness, there was this exculpatory evidence later in the item:

Matthews admitted he was initially hired on a tryout basis, but thought he had earned the full-time gig early in the season. He remains puzzled about the situation. 

"I was like, 'This is a bit strange; I didn't think I did that bad of a job.'"

"Thought", as opposed to "was told".  Big difference, and it's really not relevant what you think....

But lest you think I'm defending her, while I think caddies are over-rated, her inability to decide what she wants from her looper and find that skill set is getting old.  She's changed everything except her parents (hint!), and we've heard talk from Leadbetter of communications failures.  I just want to see her playing better, and I don't really care who's on her bag....  Iassume they're all competent at the business of caddying, it's just she needs to decide what she wants in a sidekick and find it.