Late-Week Laments

A late start to blogging, but let's see what's happening in our game...

Scenes From The Desert - Golfweek used this header:

Phil Mickelson 'phenomenal' in 2017 debut at CareerBuilder Challenge

Whereas Golf.com went this direction:

Phil Mickelson Scrambles for 68 in His Return to Tour

Wow, it's a golf version of Rashomon.... Don't panic, folks, I promise that there will be no further references to any of the Punic Wars.

here's the lede from that first linked piece:

LA QUINTA, Calif. – “Stop,” Phil Mickelson tells an amateur in his group near the green on No. 10 at La Quinta Country Club.

The amateur is contorting his body and standing very awkwardly over a bunker shot that will almost certainly go poorly with or without advice from the five-time major winner. Still, Mickelson tells him to choke up on his club.

On the next tee box, Mickelson chatted with Jerry Kelly and gave a lengthy explanation to a fan who loudly asked if he was half Italian while the group waited to hit.

Yup – Lefty is back.

This comment from our hero makes me side with the second header:

"I struck it horrible, but I scored out of my mind," Mickelson said. "So, I'm very happy with it. My first round of golf was Saturday and I've been able to work out just the last two weeks."

I'm gonna say, though, that this was the bigger debut:

Phil Mickelson, recovering from a pair of offseason surgeries, will make his first start of

2017 at the CareerBuilder Challenge today, but it's also a return for his caddie, Jim "Bones" Mackay. 

Both Mickelson and Mackay had surgery on Oct. 19: Mickelson the first of his two sports hernia surgeries and Bones a double-knee replacement. 

Mackay, 51, has caddied for Mickelson since 1992. He told ESPN's Bob Harig that his knees have hurt for years, and, after surgery, the doctor told Mackay his knees were worse than expected. 

"It was a disaster," Mackay said.

Glad they're of pain.... and we have our first postmodern moment of the season.  See if you notice anything here:

Yup, he's sporting a logo of his own self from the 204 Masters.  Either that, or he's a fan of this movie.... Well, they can't you know...

And today's floundering Aussie installment features Stephen Bowditch, my pick of the litter because he doesn't take it out on others (see, Allenby, Robert).  Here's the background on how bad it's gotten:

As a preface, we should illustrate Bowditch's plight. The Australian had a breakthrough campaign in 2015, winning the AT&T Byron Nelson, hauling in over $3 million in earnings and earning a spot on the Presidents Cup International team. The last two years, however, have not been kind to Bowditch. The 33 year old has just two top-25 finishes in his last 30 appearances, missing the cut in his last nine tournaments. He's fallen to 287th in world rankings.

The author links to an old item reminding us of that time our hero failed to break 80 in four rounds at The Blue Monster.  So, what to do?  

Nevertheless, he's clearly a desperate man, looking for anything to revive his game. Including, it appears, putting decade-old clubs in the bag.

GolfWRX took some photos of Bowditch's bag at this week's CareerBuilder Challenge, finding Callaway Big Bertha Fusion irons, a TaylorMade R7 Quad Draw wood from the mid-2000s, along with a Cobra AMP Cell hybrid from 2012. While these clubs have relatively outdated technology (at least compared to the equipment at the tour level), it appears they offer a comfortability Bowditch can't currently find.

 The joke is on TaylorMade, as their paying him to help sell clubs that are no longer for sale....  I remember that R7 Quad, about which I can only say that it's a good dancer and makes all its own clothes.

Last up is another history lesson, a sweet read about The King's last "W":

Against a legacy of green jackets and Claret Jugs, a final-round charge at Cherry Hills

and countless appearances in all corners of the globe, Arnold Palmer’s win at the 1973 Bob Hope Desert Classic would hardly seem to resonate. 

But, oh, how it meant everything to him. 

“The sweetest ever,” Palmer said that February Sunday 44 years ago. 

Sweeter than any of his four Masters? His two Open Championships? His historic 1960 U.S. Open? Truthfully, probably not – except that for all the emotions Palmer harbored in the early days of 1973, it’s understandable he would have expressed such joy after his final-round 3-under 69 at Bermuda Dunes to finish at 17-under 343. 

On so many levels, it was memorable. Partly because of whom he edged by two strokes — the incomparable rival, Jack Nicklaus, and a 25-year-old desert juggernaut named Johnny Miller, who was months away from making U.S. Open history at Oakmont. Partly because it was his fifth win at “the Hope,” a five-day convergence of golf, showbiz celebrities, big business executives and politicians that seemingly was invented for the charismatic Palmer.

I actually watched that final round, and was thoroughly disappointed that my golf God lost.  But upon further review.... Just read the whole damn thing, but how about this photo?

I understand the need to give sponsors their naming rights, but why the Tour turned its back on the glamour of the Hope remains an enduring mystery....

Scenes From That Other Desert - The Euros have taken their walk-up music to Abu Dhabi, and shall we just take a moment to enjoy that little piece of irony?  Muslims do love their music, don't they, especially those girl bands.....

Of course they're without Rory, but through the magic of appearance fees it's a pretty strong field.  Off to a good start is the ever-amusing Henrik Stenson, who attributes his opening-round 64 to clean living and...well, let him tell it:

Coming off a career year in which he captured his first major championship and claimed a silver medal at the Olympics, Henrik Stenson has no reason to change his approach to

golf tournaments. A superb opening round to 2017 that surprised even him, though, might have him re-think things a little. 

Stenson shot a bogey-free eight-under 64 Thursday in the first round of the European Tour's Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship. When he was asked to explain his strong start, Stenson deadpanned, "It must be the lack of practice that does it. Lack of sleep, lack of practice." 

Funny, that's the approach most weekend hackers take. And we definitely don't get the same results.

Who's got the time for that kind of exacting regimen?

We also had the first caddie emergency of the year, but it's a story with a happy ending:

ABU DHABI, United Arab Emirates (AP) -- Lee Westwood needed someone to carry his 

bag for him at the Abu Dhabi HSBC Championship this week when his long-time caddie dropped out following the death of his father. 

With his options limited at such short notice, the former No. 1 called on someone close to home. 

His girlfriend, Helen Storey, has wanted to try out the job for a while and was happy to help out, especially since she had the week off from her day job as a personal trainer.

 Helen had an intuitive grasp of the job:

"I didn't advise him," Helen said at the back of the 18th green at the end of Westwood's round. "Just keeping up: That was my job. And I made sure he was hydrated.

But to me this was quite an interesting take from the player himself:

''It was good for me, doing the yardage, reading the greens, and taking a bit more responsibility," he marked. "You sometimes lose touch with your game when you haven't got that responsibility.''

I'll let the reader draw his or her own conclusions about the link between reading the greens and the quality of his putting.  I mean, did you watch the Ryder Cup?

How Low Can They Go? - Mark Whicker of the OC Register talks to the players about the scoring tsunami and comes away with some interesting insights.  The piece should carry a metaphor alert, although I mostly enjoyed his wordplay, but your mileage may vary.  He also had some great statistics, such as this:

Last week at Hawaii he shot 253, a PGA Tour record. That’s 27-under on a course that had only two par-5 holes, which he played eight times, at 10-under.

Of course, labeling them a Par-5 doesn't make them, you know, a Par-5....Those two weren't even half-pars in the absence of wind.

First up is The Duf:

“Larry Nelson won the U.S. Open at Oakmont (in 1993),” Dufner said. “He told me that on the first hole, he’d hit four-iron into the green. Last year I hit pitching wedge three days, sand wedge the other day.”

Ya got that?  That's the most feared opening hole at the toughest of all the venues used for the war of attrition called the U.S. Open.  But our betters insist that distance gains have stabilized....

William McGirt, one of Employee No. 2's faves, turns out to be an astute observer:

In 1998, John Daly led the tour by averaging 298 yards. Last year, there were 27 pros who topped 300. This year, Smylie Kaufman leads with an impossible average drive of

322. 

Any course with mundane par-5s is helpless. Luke List is already 50-under-par on the long holes this season. 

“People will say the golf ball doesn’t go any farther, but they’re wrong,” McGirt said. “The drivers can’t get hotter. The ball is the only common denominator with all the shots. 

“They’ve basically taken an old two-piece, hard-brick ball and made it spin. That benefits the bombers. They can get to the core and compress it better than anyone. I can’t do that, but I have a ball I know I can control.”

Nobody said there would be physics in this gig....  This was also quite interesting as relates to the use of Trackman:

“It detects a flaw before it gets out of control,” McGirt said. “If your swing is a degree and a half steeper than it should be, you can fix it before it becomes four degrees. You look at it and scratch your head and say it looks the same, but it’s not. Video doesn’t pick everything up.

“Because of this, I don’t have to have my teacher (John Tillery) with me all the time. I can hit 40 shots and e-mail them, and he can pull the numbers and say, here’s what the problem is. But some guys get caught up in it. They might start playing numbers instead of playing golf.”

It is the 21st century...   this is pretty profound, because the ubiquitous technology allows for incredible control and feedback of the notoriously inconsistent human being....  A Brave New World indeed.

Many, Moe and Jack Cash In - The great Augusta, GA landgrab continues, though where you guy if need auto parts is unclear:

Augusta National Golf Club's land grab continues on Washington Road. In October, it

was a music store. More recently, an auto repair shop. And no, you shouldn't expect to see either still standing by the time the Masters rolls around. 

According to ABC News Channel 6, a Pep Boys is the latest local business to sell its property to Augusta National. Both News 6 and CBS News 12 cite property records that show ANGC paid $6.9 million for the store. That's a lot of oil changes. 

And that's even more than the $5.35 million the club reportedly bought Jay's Music Center for in the fall. That price was more than eight times what the land is assessed for, according to Richmond County records.

For those of you fielding a fantasy real estate roster, here's what's left:

Multiple news outlets say an Olive Garden, a Wendy's and a Walgreens remains as the only three businesses between Old Berckmans Road and New Berckmans Road off of Washington Road, which runs in front of the club. It's probably just a matter of time before they're also swallowed up by ANGC's expansion.

I've got an Olive Garden-DJ parley with good odds....

Misogyny Update -  The IOC has been harshly awoken from its slumbers, and is on the case regarding the Tokyo golf venue:

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) has reportedly expressed concern over the membership regulations and contacted the International Golf Federation to see if the club can be persuaded to grant female members the same rights as the men. 

The club has 220 female golfers on its books, but they are not allowed to become full members or play on Sundays. Male members face no such restrictions. 

Its general manager, Hiroshi Imaizumi, said the club was prepared to review its membership policy if asked to do so by the IOC or the golf federation. “I think we should keep up with the times,” Imaizumi told AFP.

But he added that the club’s management had been taken by surprise by Koike’s criticism since “we haven’t received any complaints from female members about the rules”.

Cynics will argue that the last bit is because they know their place, but I choose to view this as an opportunity to celebrate another equally-valid culture.  

The Japan Golf Council, a non-profit organisation launched last year with the aim of modernising the game, is lobbying to have the tournament moved from Kasumigaseki to Wakasu Golf Links, a public course near Tokyo Bay. Wakasu was initially proposed as the 2020 golf venue, but was replaced by Kasumigaseki in early 2013, several months before Tokyo was chosen to host the Games.

Shack provides this wonderful satellite imagery of Wakasu's stunning location:

The routing looks as drearily unimaginative as Firestone, and Shack adds these other limiting factors:

Established in 1990, Wakasu was designed by Ayako Okamoto and is 6881 yards with a tiny 20-stall, 200-yard deep driving range. Judging by the aerial, it's a fantastic location severely landlocked and design deficient to handle the competition.

I'm sure the membership policies at Kasumigaseki will be sanitized to get on the right side of history, a phrase I will not miss after 12:01 this afternoon.