Friday Frisson

I'm sure you know where we'll start.....

Tiger In Winter - The Cat is back, though its thunderous roar has been reduced to a mere whimper....  You think my metaphors are hurtful, here's Alan Shipnuck's lede:

LA JOLLA, Calif. -- The Tiger Woods reunion tour has returned to Torrey Pines, site of many of his greatest hits. Yet his sloppy 76 on Thursday left him in 133rd place, and

afterward it was impossible not to wonder if this Woods is going to be akin to the late-period Elvis, a diminished figure who the crowds come to gawk at even if he can no longer summon the right notes.

Ripped Tiger as fat Elvis?  That's harsh even by my elevated standards, though I'm guessing that even fat Elvis could find more than four fairways....

Here's the carnage in graphic form....Most notable is that from the apex of his day, back-to back birdies on Nos. 10 and 11, he crashed and burned on the taxing stretch from 12 through 15.  

 Back to Alan:

Woods has rightly been preaching patience as he toils to piece back together his game and competitive identity, but how long can he -- and we -- endure such middling play?

It's been nearly 3.5 years since his last victory. In that time he has suffered three back surgeries, the chip-yips and countless other on-course setbacks. This week's Farmers Insurance Open was supposed to be a fresh start on a course where Tiger won the Junior Worlds as a teen, eight subsequent Tour events and the epic 2008 U.S. Open, the gutsiest performance in a career full of them. (It must be noted that this Open was his last major championship victory, when Woods was 33 and looking to enjoy many more prime years.) The sense of optimism around Torrey was unmistakable.

On the one hand that's fair, on the other it's merely one round, is first in an actual PGA Tour event in an eon....  More from Shipnuck:

But Woods's clubhead speed is down to 114 mph, and playing partner Dustin Johnson routinely blasted drives 30 or 40 yards past him. Woods once changed the game with his power but now, at 41, will have to reinvent himself as a finesse player. Alas, short and crooked doesn't work anywhere, especially not on a tough track like Torrey South.

Short and crooked is the dreaded Luke Donald Disease, which is terminal if left untreated.   

Bob Harig has Tiger's upbeat take on the day:

“I fought my tail off out there,” he said. “I fought hard. It was nice to put together a round when I wasn’t hitting it that great early." 

The South Course can’t be played effectively from the rough in the aftermath of a series of storms and an unusually wet winter that have left it gnarly. Woods, who hit only four of 14 fairways, demonstrably proved that. He hit only nine of 18 greens in regulation.

That Custer guy also fought his tail off, though I forget how that turned out...

If you watched any of the Golf Channel coverage, you probably caught Sir Nick and Peter Kostis analyzing his set-up, in which he appeared to be aligned to the left.  Such faults can lend themselves to quick fixes, so we'll see if he looks any better over the ball today.

I remain skeptical that he can regain enough of his prior form to be competitive out there on any kind of consistent basis, but I'll readily note that we shouldn't draw sweeping conclusions from 18 holes.

It'll be warmer on Friday, which should help the old guy, but he'll need to show us something to hang around for the weekend.  As he always tells us, it's all about getting the reps....

I'll be Back - Costco channels its inner Ahnuld:

According to a comment from the Costco co-founder, the retailer's highly-popular golf

balls will return to stores.

Jeffrey Brotman, co-founder and chairman of the board at Costco, reached out to Seattlepi.com to clarify that though the golf balls are sold out for now, the Kirkland Signature brand balls aren't gone forever.

"The golf balls will return," wrote Brotman in an email.

Though the exact details are under wraps, this is good news for cost-conscious golfers who eagerly snapped up the supply.

Left unsaid is whether it'll be the same ball at, most importantly, the same price point.... That seems unlikely.

Wither the PGA - Rex Hoggard does a deep dive on the golf calendar, specifically focusing on the issue of the PGA moving from August to May.  First, some history:

Before the 2016 edition, the PGA had been played in August every year since 1971, when it was held in February at PGA National in South Florida. In the championship’s

earliest days it hopscotched around the calendar, with stops in October (1928), November (1927), December (1929). But it has been its place as the anchor of the major championship season that has been the championship’s identity. 

Even when the PGA gave up the tag line “Glory’s Last Shot” in 2013 in an odd give-and-take with the Tour, it was the championship’s cleanup spot in the lineup that defined it. 

The Masters holds its status as the season’s first major played on the same iconic venue each year, the U.S. Open is always the game’s toughest test and The Open stands as the oldest championship. If the PGA Championship were to move to May what happens to the event’s persona?

Like Tuesday has no feel (life imitates Seinfeld yet again), the PGA has no identity....  They had a perfectly good niche carved out, as the match-play major, but then television came along....  They haven't helped themselves in that by their choice of venues, an oglio of hand-me-down U.S. Open sites and a bizarre predilection for warm-weather sites in August.  

Bevacqua explained it’s not a single factor that could see the PGA move to a new spot on the calendar, but instead a collection of data points – from golf course availability to how a May vs. August date could impact TV viewing. 

“What would it mean to the quality of the broadcast, what would be a more powerful timeframe to broadcast the PGA?” Bevacqua asked hypothetically.

Before I jump in, this is Shack's take:

Since the PGA is now usually the second highest-rated major, August would seem more logical. But clearly there is a piece in this puzzle luring the PGA to consider a move to May and Mothers Day weekend. Only time will tell what that piece is.

That's less impressive than it sounds, because the Open Championship is far less watched because of the time of day of the broadcasts.  But for the PGA to outdraw the U.S. Open, that has to be the date of the event.....  Irony alert, as the USGA jumped into bed with Fox because they coveted the Masters' ratings....

But Geoff knows what the piece would have to be, money....  The unkown is how much would it take....

So Donald Turns to Bernhard.... - POTUS is blaming his popular vote shortfall on....yup, Bernhard Langer.  Sort of:

Ahead of and behind Mr. Langer were voters who did not look as if they should be

allowed to vote, Mr. Trump said, according to the staff members — but they were nonetheless permitted to cast provisional ballots. The president threw out the names of Latin American countries that the voters might have come from. 

Mr. Langer, whom he described as a supporter, left feeling frustrated, according to a version of events later contradicted by a White House official. 

The anecdote, the aides said, was greeted with silence, and Mr. Trump was prodded to change the subject by Reince Priebus, the White House chief of staff, and Senator John Cornyn, Republican of Texas.

Like most, I wish Trump would act more Presidential, though it's quite amusing to watch the media and lefties, but I repeat myself, dive after the bait.  Langer of course wanted no part in this scrutiny:

"Unfortunately, the report in the New York Times and other news outlets was a mischaracterization by the media. The voting situation reported was not conveyed from me to President Trump, but rather was told to me by a friend. I then relayed the story in conversation with another friend, who shared it with a person with ties to the White House. From there, this was misconstrued. I am not a citizen of the United States, and cannot vote. It’s a privilege to live in the United States, and I am blessed to call America my home. I will have no further comment at this time."

So the NY Times published a poorly-sourced story designed to hurt Trump?  That's what we professional bloggers call a dog-bites-man story...

But, while I'm assured by my betters that voter fraud is a unicorn, I'm guessing that there's ugliness to be found under that rock...  shall we turn it over and see?

Ask Alan - I'm not any more in love with the title, but he's got some interesting stuff this week:

"Give me your top 5 most overrated players of the last 15 years. Same question for under appreciated." –Brad (@bachy333)

Overrated:

1. Rickie Fowler

2. Hunter Mahan

3. Camilo Villegas

4. Webb Simpson

5. Jim Furyk

Underappreciated:

1. Tim Clark

2. Brian Gay

3. K.J. Choi

4. Miguel Angel Jimenez

5. Kevin Na

Not sure of the timing, but on yesterday's broadcast they were revisiting that famous players' poll released before Rickie's masterful Players' win.  The five on the second list are all guys with limited physical gifts, who made a career for themselves, at least for a while.  I get where he's coming from, but there's no majors and barely a significant win (KJ's Players is about all), so the lack of appreciation, to this observer, seems dserved.

“The perfect golfer: i.e. Driver... irons... 100 yard-wedges... short game... putter...” –Rob (@Roblawless) 

If you’re talking about right now, I’d take Dustin’s driver, Stenson’s irons, Zach Johnson’s wedge game, Luke Donald around the greens and Spieth’s putter. All-time? Nicklaus’s driver, Hogan’s irons, Tom Kite’s wedge game, Seve around the greens, Tiger’s putter.

Luke Donald?  How would you know about his recent short game?  Now like we're seing much of the lad these days...

Tiger was a great putter for sure, but best ever?  I'd go with Bobby Locke or Crenshaw....

Alan also has some good thoughts on writing on deadline and Jay Monahan, worth a few minutes of your time.  He closes with this bit of mirth:

“Could you pull off wearing a logo of yourself like Phil? What would the logo look like?” –Ryan (@therealsneek1) 

Well, I’d like to think I could. It would look a little bit like a tripod, if you know what I mean. And would have enough to hair to make both Brandel and Robert Rock jealous.

As for that tripod, we'll need independent verification....

Cheap Shots -  In which we pick our way through silliness:

And yet it's done increasingly frequently by actual humans - PGA Tour commissioner on barrage of sub-60 scores: "Those are super human feats"

I'll concede the "Oddly" part - This video of Tiger Woods watching a Tiger Woods commercial is oddly mesmerizing

Talk about a slow news day - Chris DiMarco's nephew is a key player for the Atlanta Falcons in Super Bowl LI

Way too much information - Beef Johnston battled a bad case of "the man flu"

There's really only one way to prove that - Tiger Woods proves mortal in PGA Tour return