"Dis And 'Dat

For mid-December we've got a reasonably full agenda this morning.  So, can I get a motion to open the proceedings?  Anyone care to second it?  

Ponte Vedra Penumbras - Who knew that our Commissioner Ratched was so sentimental?  Apparently he heard the heartwarming story about the letter that George H.W. left for Slick Willie and was inspired to do the same for Jay Monahan.

Alan Shipnuck with the details:

DEAR JAY,

I hope you're enjoying sitting at my desk. (Feel free to take the phone book and two pillows off the chair.) Anyway, since I created the Presidents Cup, it only seems right that I follow the tradition of U.S. presidents and leave a note for my successor.

You see the problem immediately in our efforts to grow out game.  For any millennials finding their way here in error, hears what you need to know:

A telephone directory, also known as a telephone book, telephone address book, phone book, or the white/yellow pages, is a listing of telephone subscribers in a geographical

area or subscribers to services provided by the organization that publishes the directory. Its purpose is to allow the telephone number of a subscriber identified by name and address to be found. 

The advent of the Internet and smart phones in the 21st century greatly reduced the need for a paper phone book. Some communities, such as Seattle and San Francisco, sought to ban their unsolicited distribution as wasteful, unwanted and harmful to the environment

Glad we cleared that up....  Go on, Tim:

There has been a lot of criticism about the Tour's refusal to divulge information about

player discipline. In the interest of transparency, I recommend that you announce suspensions by saying the players are "in timeout" and that we've told them they can return to the Tour when "you use your words." That oughta do. I know you've studied many of my press conferences, so when it comes to handling reporters just remember that they're confused by big words. I recommend bifurcate and coterminous, but of course you must develop your own patois.

So that would make DJ the leader in the clubhouse in timeouts....and this:

This season the Tour is slated to stage 47 tournaments, which is clearly not enough. The wraparound schedule has been a success, so I suggest doubling down. The 2018 season begins in October 2017 and will run for seven weeks. I think it makes sense to jazz up a quiet part of the schedule and begin the 2019 season in December 2017. Just think how much fun fans will have tallying the hypothetical FedEx Cup points. (It should also help your bonus plan to be playing three seasons coterminously.)

OK, T-Bone, don't let the door whack you on the way out....On a more serious note, John Ourand at Sports Business Journal looks at his crystal ball and takes a shot at the televised sports landscape for 2017. including a couple of observations on our own game.  

9. No new broadcast deal for PGA Tour

It’s no secret that the PGA Tour will have conversations with CBS and NBC about opening up their broadcast deals. But the tour knows that there’s no big deal to be had here. The big media money comes in 2021 when the PGA Tour’s cable rights with Golf Channel are up. Until then, look for the PGA Tour to cut interesting streaming deals with companies like Facebook and Twitter as it studies the landscape before its cable negotiations kick in.

I think that's right.  Not only does the market for TV rights appear to be softening, but there's simply no white knight to whom they can turn.  The weekend packages require lots of prime hours with small audience shares, and how much Cialis can a fellow use?  I know, my opinion on thst could change in the next few years...

The Golf Channel package is interesting for sure, but also many years off in the future.  This however, gives hope to the forlorn:

10. FedEx Cup changes coming

There’s been a lot of talk inside the tour about shortening the FedEx Cup so that it would not run up against college and pro football games in September. The tour will decide this year that it will conclude the FedEx Cup on Labor Day weekend starting in 2019. The knock-on effect from the compressed August schedule will see the PGA Championship moved from August to May and the Players Championship moved from May to March. That will start the golf season with a lot of momentum with one big event a month (from the Players to the Masters to the PGA Championship).

You wouldn't tease me now, would you?  Shack has mixed feelings as follows:

I'm still struggling to see how this works for the PGA of America in two big ways: agronomically and financially. A May date all but rules out several markets they visit or want to revisit (Rochester, Minneapolis, middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin), while the August date is actually a decent one given the fairly uncrowded landscape. 

From a historical perspective, giving up the August date for the low-rated, lowly-anticipated FedExCup also seems short-sighted. 

On the plus side, returning The Players to March beefs up a Florida swing already feeling a little depleted by the elimination of the Doral stop, while a May PGA Championship would open up a few markets of interest.

I don't think they spend an awful lot of time worrying about agronomics in May....  But Valhalla is a lot more bearable then than in August.

I haven't heard any discussion of accommodating the Olympics in this framework....  

Reality Bites - I'm shocked, but it turns out that golfers haven't flocked to purchase the Wilson Triton.  For those that aren't glued to Golf Channel 24/7:

The Triton was the winning product in the Golf Channel reality series “Driver vs. Driver.” The series finale aired Nov. 22, with winning designer Eric Sillies of Cincinnati collecting the $500,000 first prize. 

The issue is that the driver is not yet on the USGA's conforming list, though it's actually a little complicated:

The U.S. Golf Association has ruled that Wilson Golf’s new Triton driver, which has been on sale since Nov. 25, is nonconforming under the Rules of Golf, Golfweek has

learned. 

Wilson said it is working to correct several issues with the club. 

“The Wilson Staff Triton DVD with the 9-degree loft is listed on the conforming list,” USGA spokeswoman Janeen Driscoll told Golfweek Monday. “All other submissions of the Triton clubs were determined to be nonconforming to the Rules of Golf.”

And if somebody showed up on the first tee of an event with one of these things, how would you know if it was the conforming version?

It gets hyper technical awfully quickly:

The USGA would not specify the reason the club was ruled nonconforming. Wilson said there were two problems: an aesthetic issue involving the size of the sole plate and what is deemed a cavity, and the springiness of the face when the adjustable weights are used in a specific configuration with one of two optional soleplates. 

“The second feature is related to the optional 12-gram weight in the 10.5-degree and 12-degree Triton driver accessory kits,” Wilson said in its release. “In testing the driver with the maximum total of 24-grams of weight, with the optional 12-gram weight in the toe of the club, the USGA observed a CT (characteristic time, a measure of springiness) that was slightly above their allowable limits and testing tolerance. It should be noted that this specific combination of the Titanium sole plate and this extreme weight configuration was not used in our evaluation of the Triton as it would have resulted in a heavy swing weight and a fade/slice bias.”

The show had trace elements of interest, at least for a short while...  But Wilson seems to have taken quite the gamble in producing and shipping the clubs prior to ensuring that they were USGA-compliant.  They're a struggling brand, but the logic that the show would drive golfers to Dick's to purchase the club seems... I don't know, crazy?

Philling You In -  Phil and Bones are having a tough off-season...maybe it's for the better that it's so short:

In early November, Phil Mickelson told our Tim Rosaforte that he underwent umbilical hernia surgery days after playing in the Safeway Open. According to Mickelson, the procedure was "no big deal," and that he was ready to start his offseason workout program.

Not so quick, alas:

I still say it was ill-considered jump when he drained the last putt against Sergio....

Since I'm a wizard at the segue, how about this Bone's story about the Augusta National employees that were devastated when Phil won his first Masters in 2004:

"I look out to his car and I see some figures," Mackay recalled. "It's pitch black dark out there, and it's Phil and two or three other people around him. So I walk there to kind of

help out with packing the bag, and as I walk up to him, I see those guys hugging Phil. And they aren't just hugging him. It's an emotional hug. And as I get closer I realize I have no clue who these other two or three guys are, and I'm like, Who are these guys hugging Phil that I don't know? I have been his caddie for quite a while now, and I have no clue who these guys are. 

"Well it turns out, these are the guys who work in the lower locker room at Augusta National, who Phil has been tipping all of these years and taking such good care of. And now that Phil won the Masters he is going to the Champions locker room, and these guys are losing him forever and they are just devastated. So they are hugging it out in the parking lot. That's really cool. That kind of speaks to how well he took care of them over the years."

Are you saying that Ernie doesn't tip as well?  Eez OK, I don't think anyone tips like Phil....  

Predictions Are Hard, Especially About The Future - Who do you think might break through and win for the first time in 2016-17?  Personally, I'm going with Cody Gribble.... But I'm a professional blogger, so it's not fair to hold you to those standards....

Here's one man's guess:

Heading into 2017, there are more than 70 non-rookie non-winners on Tour. Topping my

list of Most Likely to Break Through are, in order: Rafael Cabrera-Bello, Jon Rahm, Francesco Molinari, Soren Kjeldsen and Kevin Chappell. Cabrera-Bello is 32, finished third at the Match Play and earned 2.5 points for the European Ryder Cup team. Rahm, 21, was the No. 1 ranked amateur for 60 weeks, finished as low amateur at Oakmont, and had a T2 at the Canadian Open. 

There are 25 incoming Tour rookies, and Cody Gribble already notched a win in October, at the Sanderson Farms Championship. My best bets for other rookie breakthroughs are, in order: Wesley Bryan, Grayson Murray, Andrew ("Beef") Johnston, Ryan Blaum and J.T. Poston.

Beef?  Really?

The man is Mark Broadie and the results are from a statistical analysis, and he's pretty good at that kinda thing.... The first list are all familiar names, pretty much the list that most of us might come up with on our own.  

Slim Pickings - Brentley Romine poaches on Marty Hackel's turf with a slideshow of the best in professional golfer's attire in the past year....  And it's just curious, partially because there's no commentary provided with the photos.

He ledes from strength, with Russian hottie Maria Verchenova wearing Pinks and Greens:

Pinks and Greens is the brand, and with this outfit they're likely to get sued for misrepresentation...  I like a babe in Wimbledon whites as much as the next guy, but I'm hard-pressed to understand the fashion statement.

But does this belong in a fashion show?

And, while we have the legally-mandated Billy Horschel sighting, it's of a curious nature:

Seriously, I never realized that solid shirts were so outré this year.

Golf Does YouTube - The golf word seems strangely flattered that a golfer was included in this SNL skit:

Those that can bear to watch this until the end will note that it's humor-deprived and goes on for far too long...

But, since I feel your pain, I can tell you that the Euros always do it better, pace this faux-Dougie Donnelly interview with Darth Monty from 2006:

To be honest, I just like saying Dougie Donnelly.....

Cheap Shots - Don't get too excited, we've already peaked...

To Cross The Road? - Why was a British Open champion caddying at Q-School this weekend?

Damn, I Thought He Said Allenby - Python Devours Entire Wallaby