Day-Old Mistletoe

Slim pickings out there as far as the golf thing is concerned....  But it's not always about you, as we've had 21" of snow over the last 72 hours and the skiing has been epic.

Perhaps a couple of my lame photos?  Here's my buddy Mitch grabbing a thigh-high stash:

And here's Bob diving into an untracked section of woods:

For those that don't speak skiing, untracked powder is the equivalent of holing out from 150 yards....

Now back to our regularly-scheduled programming.

I'll See Your Mac Daddy Santa - Tiger may have opened, but I suspect that he'll be folding after seeing Mac Beef Santa:

As for those manbreasts, I think Phil is the only guy on Tour that's in Beef's league.  No disrespect to Tiger intended....

Although, to be fair, this one may be worse:

Unless it's, you know, ironic....  Does Beef do irony?

'Tis The Season - I speak, of course, of Festivus.  For those that mistakenly believe that Festivus originated on Seinfeld, I refer you to this helpful page that will acquaint you with it's history, including its modern holiday carol, title, appropriately, It's A Pole.

The Festivus tradition of The Airing of Grievances inspired Joel Beall to share his golf-related grievances.  I think we can all agree about this one:

Golfers on their cell phones

Yes, it's here again, and for a reason. You don't play pickup basketball or backyard football with your phone on your person. Check a text or two between holes, and feel free to play music during your round. But if you're making multiple business calls on the course, you're doing it wrong.

I would have also included folks that play music without asking their playing partners if they mind..... Willow Ridge members will not need a name.

This I think was a misfire:

Ryder Cup build-up

We thought the "task force" bunk would die with the American win at Hazeltine. We were wrong. Too much noise for a biennial three-day exhibition.

The build-up is justified by the drama of the event, the best three days of golf to be found.  It's the task force itself that's the crime against nature.....

And here's one for our friends at Quaker Ridge:

Homeowners complaining about their houses getting hit

Buying a house on a course, only to protest about golfers raining ammo into the yard, is like jumping into a pool and grumbling about getting wet.

Would that I had friends at Quaker.....  Oh well, maybe that'll be on my grievance list for Festivus '17.

Presents For 2017 - I know, we missed that deadline by this much...  Shack finished his list of X-mas gifts for golfers with this worthy entry:

Last year the craftsmen and women of Seamus Golf kindly offered a Christmas discount

to readers of this site. And after noticing their dapper new ties I reached out to company co-founder Akbar Christi who kindly offered a holiday discount for all purchases. Enter code RUSTICCANYON to get 20% off. 

Everything by Seamus is made with care, thought and class, but I'm digging their new ties in fabrics sourced from the best (Loch Caron, House of Edgar). They come in both skinny and regular sizes and the website notes the lineage of the patterns so that you can do your best Smailsimpersonation at your next cocktail party. 

Personally, I love a good tartan tie because nearly all look good with a navy blazer, they are guaranteed to liven up an otherwise cookie-cutter outfit, all while giving you a fun story to tell about the tie's inspiration.

The folks at Seamus are obviously working the ref, as Rustic Canyon is Geoff's best-known course design.  The ties are quite nice, though at this point I only wear them at weddings and funerals, and unfortunately it's mostly the latter.  But do check out their tartan headcovers....

In a similar vein, Alistair Tait suggests gifts for Euro Tour players:

Danny Willett: A consistent season and an eraser for his brother.

Willett came out of the gate fast this season (winning the Masters helped) and slowed down big time toward the end. He had a commanding lead in his bid to become European No. 1 but finished No. 2 for the second consecutive year. He needs to be more consistent if he wants to reach the top of the European Tour mountain. 

As for brother Pete, he’s entitled to write whatever he wants, but his attempt at humor before the Ryder Cup did Danny no favors. I wonder if Danny bought Pete an eraser for Christmas?

Wouldn't a muzzle be more helpful?  

But this seems a tad passive-aggressive:

Matthew Fitzpatrick: A miserable year on the PGA Tour!

Fitzpatrick says he’ll concentrate heavily on the PGA Tour next season, which is bad news for European Tour fans. So maybe Santa should bring him bad luck for his PGA Tour chances so he can spend more time in Europe? Just kidding! Let’s hope Fitzpatrick has success on both tours so everyone can watch his precocious talents.

Get over it Alistair, you can't keep the kids on the farm any more....

Good Riddance - Josh Sens mourns not for golf trends that went the way of persimmon.  Though this first one gets an official "If Only":

Yelling "Ba-Babooey!" at Tour Events

Not that "You da man!" or "Mashed potatoes!" is much better. But at least we’re past the days when a bellowed version of that Howard Stern-ism echoed from the gallery at every shot.

What, you think them yelling "Mashed Potatoes" demonstrates continued evolution of the species?

And this is curious as well:

Tasseled Golf Shoes

Remember the days when every pair of golf shoes seemed to come with tassels? We recall them vividly. And, like you, we’ve been trying to forget.

Talk about burying the lede..... Anyone notice something else on these shoes that we no longer use?

This one gets another "If Only":

200-Yard Forced Carries and Island Greens

As if parachute pants and shoulder-padded pinstripe suits weren’t bad enough, the ‘80s also marked the hey day of sadistic golf design, the basic idea being that a course was not a course if you didn’t lose a dozen Titleists along the way. Thankfully, that cruel fashion has faded, and a kinder form of architecture now holds sway, one that allows you to hit a ball, then find it. Call it modern minimalism. We call it a better way to play.

Their Year - Golfweek has a nice annual feature in which each of their writers pens a column called My Year in Golf.  It works because it allows each of them to highlight under-reported events that made an impression.  Jeff Babineau devotes a portion of his to The King:

There’s another guy who we’re really going to miss. There are two indelible scenes I’ll carry with me for some time that involve Arnold Palmer. The first is the sight of

watching Arnold seated in his cart alongside the grandstands left of the 18th hole at his beloved Bay Hill, site of the Arnold Palmer Invitational, in March. He was watching World No. 1 Jason Day complete his victory.

Since the mid-80s, I’d always try to stand somewhere nearby Palmer on Sunday when the winner came off, to hear the words of wisdom and encouragement the King would offer his newest champion. Mr. Palmer appeared frail when Day shook his hand, but he gave him the trademark smile and thumbs up. A real trooper. 

Moments later, as the crowd thinned out, I also shook Mr. Palmer’s hand as I left the green to head to the press tent, barely able to get these words out: “Thank you, Mr. Palmer. For everything.” It needed no more expansion than that.

That was a well-timed thank you.  And this typically-Arnie story from the Waybac machine:

At the reception afterward, former PGA Tour player Robert Damron, one of Mr. Palmer’s longtime Bay Hill neighbors and frequent golf and card partners, told a story about Palmer helping to get him into the old Bob Hope event in Palm Springs. Damron played well in his first round in the desert, and had barely signed his card when an official told him there was a fax waiting for him. (Remember those?) Damron unfurled it and saw it was from his Bay Hill pal. “Great playing,” it read. A small gesture that sums up Mr. Palmer’s caring and kindness. Damon choked back tears telling the story.

He is truly missed by everyone in the game.

Cheap Shots -  You know the drill, this is where we react in Snark Mode to curious headlines:

The Soft Bigotry of Low Expectations - Number crunching: Jodi Ewart Shadoff becomes cut-making machine in 2016

Dude, Everyone Knows He's Cabilasian - George Lopez calls Tiger Woods a 'white dude'

I Suggest She Re-Crunch - Number crunching: Stacy Lewis counts 2016 as good year, despite drop in rankings

I Got Nothing Here - Jason Dufner defends Grayson Allen ... by admitting he once tripped a friend to win a race

Seems An Over-reaction To That 12th Hole Quad - Why Jordan Spieth is working on his jumpshot

One of Life's Enduring Mysteries Unless, You Know, Winning Your First Major Is Significant - Number crunching: Why Henrik Stenson considers 2016 his best year ever