The Golf Bloggers Full Employment Act of 2014 has hit Day Two, and continues to amuse...
I'll let Shack play tour guide. Batting lead-off (bonus points for those that recognized the oblique Derek Jeter reference), USA Today's Christine Brennan:
Woods' tirade is not the length of a tweet, or even a paragraph. Rather, it's a nearly 600-word pout, self-absorbed and clueless, starting out with the hope that none of us has read the fake Q-and-A – but ensuring that all of us now will.
Congratulations, Tiger. You've done it. You've achieved the media equivalent of hitting the fire hydrant. I cannot wait to see what you're planning for the 10th anniversary in November 2019.
The four-page spread that Tiger just had to tell us all about appears three pages from the very back of the golf magazine's December issue, which is just about as buried as a sports article can ever be. It was certain to go unread by 99 percent of the population – including me. I get Golf Digest and I hadn't noticed the headline, nor had I cracked open that issue, until Tiger told me to.
OK, that might leave a mark... but her experience, specifically the magazine unopened until Team Tiger called attention to it, mirrors my own. Here's how she closes the piece:
Fake Jenkins: "After you'd won three U.S. (Amateurs), your father said you were going to have a greater impact on the world than Gandhi. I laughed out loud. What was your reaction?"
Fake Woods: "I looked for Gandy in the record book and couldn't find him. But I didn't go as far back as Middlecoff, Demaret and those guys."
In the mid-1990s, Earl Woods really did compare his son to Gandhi, which I always thought was quite unfair because Gandhi never could break 80.
But I digress. Tiger could have and should have laughed it all off. That he didn't speaks volumes about just how true some of those "fake" answers really are.Happy 5th Anniversary, Tiger.
Batting second, and this gag works better if the reader is hearing it in Bob Sheppard's voice complete with echo effect, is Bob Harig at ESPN. Shack use this curious excerpt:
"We understood that we would possibly draw more attention to the piece, but there are times you have to take a stand," said Glenn Greenspan, vice president of communications for Woods' ETW Corporation. "Malicious attacks and the abandonment of any journalistic standards sometimes forces that. People also forget that the magazines are already in circulation. What about them? Those won't be ignored."
I don't know what he was thinking, either, as it's hard to imagine a magazine with a greater propensity to lie unread than Golf Digest. Unless, of course, it's Golf Digest in November. But we do appreciate your calling attention to it... But I'm more interested in how the two developed such animus for each other:
But he's never been big on Tiger, for various reasons, including Woods' lack of accessibility. Attempts to reach Jenkins were unsuccessful, but in 2010 he wrote: "I covered Tiger winning his 14 professional majors, but I can't say I know him. I knew the smile he put on for TV. I knew the orchestrated remarks he granted us in the press-room interviews. I knew the air he punched when another outrageous putt went in the cup. That's it."In a 2012 interview with ESPN.com's Gene Wojciechowski, Jenkins did not rank the 14-time major champion among his top five of all time, arguably a large omission. He had it, in order: Hogan, Nicklaus, Snead, Nelson and Bobby Jones.
That last bit might have been it for Tiger. But Harig also had this "giving the devil his due" bit:
He has given Woods his due, predicting in 2001 that Woods would win 24 majors, but also offering an ominous forecast."I never thought I'd see a greater shot-maker than Hogan or a greater winner than Nicklaus, but I have. It's Tiger," Jenkins said. "Not that I still wouldn't want Ben to get the drive in the fairway for me for my life. But Tiger makes all those slugs out there today look like they don't even know how to play. We're talking about a truly remarkable athlete here. Something the game has never seen."Only two things can stop Tiger -- injury or a bad marriage."
Or both.
Batting third, the irascible James Corrigan in The Telegraph, with this tutorial for Lindsey Vonn:
But Lindsey Vonn is worried. Woods's girlfriend took time off her World Cup skiing training to tell USA Today why he decided to pen his, by now, already infamous riposte to the Golf Digest article. "It was like a fabricated interview, like what [the writer] thinks Tiger would say," Vonn said. Yes, thanks for that Lindsey. That is what parodies are. They imitate with the intention to lampoon. The target is not supposed to find them amusing. Other people are.
Lindsey, please direct any follow-up questions to James at the Telegraph. James also had this literary criticism of Tiger's piece:
I'm sure they do encourage him, but it is not because of any voluntary behaviour on Woods's behalf. In the same magazine, Johnny Manziel, the Cleveland quarter-back, tells a story of when he was nine and Woods cruelly turned him down for an autograph. In a deserted car-park at the Dubai Desert Classic a few years ago, I watched Woods wave off a few children waiting with their pens and caps when there was nobody else, apart from myself and, of course, Steinberg, within 50 yards. When it comes to crowd interaction he is right up there with Howard Hughes.Fair enough, that is his right. But then, it is Jenkins's right to send him up as a fallen icon. Woods's response was pathetic, the self-pitying cries of an arrogant and yes, ignorant billionaire. You couldn't have made it up, even if you tried.
James, can I ask you to please not sugar-coat it in the future? But by the way, do we think Tiger is actually a billionaire? 'Cause it wasn't too long ago that as sponsors were dropping him there were rumors of, at the very least, cash flow problems...
Batting cleanup, is Matt Yoder from Awful Announcing (I know, we repeat ourselves) fills in some more of the background, quoting from the same 2010 Jenkins column above:
I once made an effort to get to know the old silicone collector. Tried to arrange dinners with him for a little Q&A, on or off the record, his choice. But the closest I ever got was this word from his agent: “We have nothing to gain.”
Silicone collector? I'm going to need a moment to collect myself after spitting out my coffee... Can you see where Dan Jenkins is that last guy on this planet with whom you want to pick a fight? he's legendary (started his career covering Hogan and Nelson back in Fort Worth), fearless, funny and with a huge platform and following.
But amusement aside, this is what caught Shack's and my attention:
What’s unique in this regard is Woods coming to Jeter’s website to issue a public response. Woods could have easily used his own website or Twitter page or numerous other platforms to accomplish his goal here, but he chose to go to The Players’ Tribune. The site promises that the Woods column is only the beginning of hearing from more players fighting back against the media, saying “This is the first in a series of columns we’re calling ‘Straight Up.’ It’s a place where athletes can offer their side on something that has been written or said about them.”
The Woods-Jenkins feud is going to reverberate throughout the sport as it pits the TigerWoods of golf media versus… well, the Tiger Woods of golf. But there may be even bigger implications if The Players’ Tribune is going to be a consistent source for athletes to sound off against members of the press and fight fire with fire in the future.
I didn't pay much attention when Jeter announced this venture, but is that really what he has in mind? If so, it's passing strange since it's hard to imagine a prominent athlete that enjoyed better media coverage. Now, it must be remarked that he did an amazing job of keeping his personal life, you know, personal, especially since he was such a notorious hound. But he was also known for not taking the bait the few times he appeared on Page Six, such as the notorious gift basket story.
So that concludes our Day Two tour. Please remember to mention us to your friends and to generously tip your waitress. OK, one more tidbit, this tweet from Rick Reilly about his book, Tiger Meet My Sister: And Other Things I Probably Shouldn't Have Said:
Rick Reilly
Hey @TigerWoods, please hate my book next!
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